A 50 year old woman woke up one morning and made her way to the bathroom. As she looked in the mirror she was struck with horror at what she saw. She screamed, ran straight to her car and drove to the office of her plastic surgeon.
"Doctor, Doctor, something is terribly wrong!" she exclaimed. "I woke up this morning with these giant bags under my eyes!"
The doctor tried to calm her down and explained, "I was afraid this might happen. You see, we've performed so many skin tightenings on you over the past several months to keep your face free from wrinkles. It seems your skin has grown so tight, it's pulled your breasts up to under your eyes." He paused to let the news sink in for the woman. Then he asked, "do you have any other concerns?"
She thought for a moment, scratched her chin and said, "No, I guess that also answers how I got the goatee."