'Prisoner at the Bar - you have been found guilty of sexual misconduct. Have you anything to say before I sentence you?
'Yes, my Lord. If I may indulge you in a statement prepared in aticipation of this event.'
'Get on with it!'
'Yesm my Lord. As I was saying this is a prepared statement made with the assistance of Max Clifford and the legal representative of the 'Sun' newspaper.'
'That's enough. You are sentenced to reading your statement in the 'Sun' and let this be a warning to anyone else who screws around with two lovely daughters and a charming wife.'