A man walked into a bar one evening and sat down at the counter. The bartender came, took his order and gave him his drink. As the man was enjoying his beverage, he casually gave the place a look over.
As he was looking, he spotted a large pickle jar behind the bar counter filled to the brim with twenty dollar bills. He couldn't fathom how any bartender could earn so many tips, nor why any businessman would store so much money in a glass jar. After awhile, his curiosity got the better of him and he got the bartender's attention. "Excuse me, but I was wondering what that big jar of money is all about."
"Oh, that...," the bartender replied. "That is sort of an ongoing challenge we have going here. People that want to take the challenge put in their twenty dollars, and if they complete the challenge - they get all the money. Nobody to date has completed the challenge."
"So, what's the challenge?" the man asked.
"Oh... I can't tell you that until you've put in your twenty. Part of the rules - keeps you from chickening out."
The man thought about it a moment, studied the jar of what must contain at least a couple thousand dollars worth of twenties, then pulled out his wallet and handed the bartender a twenty. "I'll take the challenge."
"OK," the bartender smiled as he put the pickle jar full of money back in it's place. "You must complete a series of three tasks: First, you must drink an entire jar of pickle brine in under two minutes." He grabbed a one gallon jar full of brine and set it on the counter. "Then, in the back alley is a pitbull with a sore tooth. You must pull his tooth and bring it to me. Finally, there is a 90 year old woman who lives in an apartment upstairs who hasn't had an orgasm in over 50 years. You must give her one."
"What the hell! That's ridiculous! I'm not going to do that crap...give me my money back," the man complained.
"No can do my man. No refunds and no money unless you complete the challenge."
Well, the man was understandably angry at having been cheated out of his twenty dollars. He sat sulking awhile, getting angrier by the moment. He purchased a full bottle of vodka and sat drinking it, hoping to drown his anger in alcohol.
After about an hour, the man had finished the bottle, and was quite innebriated. He staggered to the bathroom, used the facilities and returned to the counter. "Hey you!" he snarled at the bartender. "I'm going to complete your stupid challenge!"
The bartender handed him the jar of pickle brine and watched as the man chugged it all down in about one and a half minutes. The man released a loud vodka/pickle scented belch and staggered his way to the door at the rear of the bar that would lead to the back alley.
Almost immediately, the bartender could hear loud barking, vicious growling and screams of pain. After a couple minutes, the noise subsided. A few minutes later there was still no noise and the man had yet to return. The bartender was just about to go out to make sure the man wasn't dead or severely injured, when the back door opened and the man walked into the bar.
He was very scratched up, bloody, and his clothes were ripped to shreds. He staggered up to the bartender and yelled, "Right! Now where's that old woman with the sore tooth?"