I was sat in the pub having a quiet drink with some friends when an angry young man in cyclist gear came in, looked around and came storming over to me and got in my face.
"You cut me up!" he said, irately. "You think you're great because you can sit and drive your car easily up hills while I struggle!" He looked quite angry. "But I'm vastly more fit than you!"
"Okay," I said. "Let's have a race. You can pick your chosen mode of transport: bike, run, whatever."
"I pick bikes!" he snapped.
"Oh, I'm easily going to win," I replied. "I choose a car."
And that's when I got the black eye.