Steadfastly Unblinking

Submitted by Anan E Maus
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Friday, 18 February 2011

In returning again to the much-cherished theme of that stupid dating advice thing I saw online a few days ago (and perhaps that juxtaposed with these two hot Asian girls I saw at the mall yesterday), and the stronger theme of maintaining catatonic eye-contact when speaking to women, I have only this to say: What if you were so concerned about maintaining your precious eye contact that you didn't even blink...not even once? What would the woman, or women, say then? I think that they would think that you were a leering freak!

In fact, if I had more room, I would write a little dialogue between a potential girl and myself, that had me being an eye-contact-maintaining, unblinking moron throughout it. But, alas, I haven't the room! Not especially when you consider that I want to briefly lambaste those dating advice morons. For instance, besides the fact that all of them, without a doubt, are hideous, they seem to think it's okay to manipulate people...women, especially.

Or, they think of themselves as "spies in the house of love" and they invite you to be a spy, too! Talk about getting it totally wrong! I mean, do girls actually like being treated and thought of in this way?

(Note: This, like many of my other jokes, is really more of a rant, with a slant of observational humor chucked in for good measure.)

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