A public school teacher was arrested today at Gatwick Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, Home Secretary George (Haven't fiddled my expenses for two months now) Osborne, said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement.
He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the Met. Police with carrying weapons of maths instruction.
"Al-gebra is a problem for us all," Osborne said. "They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute values. They use secret code names like "x" and "y" and refer to themselves as 'unknowns,' but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with co-ordinates in every country.
As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle".
When asked to comment on the arrest, Prime Minister David 'Oh I am rich' Cameron, speaking from one of his country hideaway's said "If God had wanted us to have better Weapons of Maths Instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."