1) A lady goes into the butcher shop and as she is walking around the store, she spies a beef tongue in the butcher's counter. The lady asks, "What in the world is that?"
"Beef tongue," replies the butcher!
The lady gives a little involuntary shudder, "No way would
I put anything in my mouth that came out of an animal's mouth!"
The butcher nods sympathetically while peeking into the woman's
shopping cart, saying "I see you're buying a dozen eggs!"
2) A Russian woman married an English gentleman and they lived happily ever after in London. However, the poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her Husband.
The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy Chicken legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, she clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs.
The butcher got the message, and gave her the Chicken legs.
The next Day, she needed to get chicken breasts.
Again, she didn't know how to say it, and so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the Butcher her breasts!
The butcher understood again, and gave her some chicken Breasts.
The 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages.
Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store...
What were you thinking? Hellooooooo, her husband speaks English!
3) It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it?
Finally he offered to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16, and she agreed.
He had been counting the years off on his calender, and one day the teenager who had been collecting the meat each week, came into the shop and said, "I'll be 16 tomorrow."
"I know," said the butcher with a smile, "I've been counting too. Go tell your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat she'll get, and watch the expression on her face."
When the boy arrived home he told his mother.
The woman nodded and said, "Son, go back to the butcher and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk, free groceries, and free rent for the last 16 years and watch the expression on his face!"
4) A lady went into a butcher shop complaining about some hot dogs she had just bought.
"The middle is meat," she exclaimed, "but the ends are sawdust!"
"Well," said the butcher. "These days it's so hard to make
ends meat." [color=[DimGray;">Bum bum