It takes a big man to cry. Especially if his goal in life was to be a jockey.
Just as I thought, when I was finally pulled from my overturned car and life flighted to a hospital in a nearby city, not one person checked to see if I was wearing clean underwear. Why are we told these things? Besides, I shat my underwear when I saw I was headed for the tree. Who wouldn't?
-Red Balls, Politician