10 Technical Support Conversations

Submitted by Inchcock
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Friday, 14 January 2011

1)
Customer: "How do you spell 'Internet America'? Is there a space between 'inter' and 'net'?"
Tech Support: "No space between 'inter' and 'net'. It's spelled normally."
Customer: "Ok. A-M-E-R-I-C-K?"
Tech Support: "That's A-M-E-R-I-C-A."
Customer: "I-C-K???"
Tech Support: "'A' as in apple"
Customer: "There's no 'K' in apple!"

2)
Customer: "I was printing something."
Tech Support: "From before you called?"
Customer: "No, from Word."

3)
Tech Support: "Tell me, is the cursor still there?"
Customer: "No, I'm alone right now."

4)
Tech Support: "Are you reading an error message to me?"
Customer: "No, I'm reading an error message to you."

5)
Tech Support: "Do you have 3.5 inch diskettes?"
Customer: "No, I only have 3 of them."

6)
Customer: "This computer's gone all crazy. It's blinking, beeping, and doing all sorts of stuff!"
Tech Support: "What were you doing with the computer at the time?" Customer: "I was dusting it."

7)
Customer: "Now what do I do?"
Tech Support: "What is the prompt on the screen?"
Customer: "It's asking for 'Enter Your Last Name.'"
Tech Support: "Ok, so type in your last name."
Customer: "How do you spell that?"

8)
Tech Support: "Ok, ma'am, I need you to do a ctrl-alt-del." Customer: "How do I do that?"
Tech Support: "Push and hold 'ctrl' and 'alt' at the same time, and then hit 'delete'."
Customer: "Where are those?"
Tech Support: (explains the location of the keys)
Customer: "Nothing happened."
Tech Support: "Try again."
Customer: "Still nothing."
A minute or two later....
Customer: "Should I turn my computer on? Would that help?"
Tech Support: "Yes, it might."

9)
Tech Support: "What seems to be the problem?"
Customer: "When I change my font sizes, the letters change size."

10)
Customer: "I have just received your software, but I have these plastic things, what are they?"
Tech Support: "Could you describe them please?"
Customer: "They are black plastic, thin, and square."
Tech Support: "Anything else?"
Customer: "They have a metal bit on one edge."
Tech Support: "Disks?"
Customer: "Well, I don't know, do I? I just brought your package. What do I do with them?"
Tech Support: "Put the disks in the drive."
Customer: "What's a drive?"
Tech Support: "The slot in your machine that looks just the right size for the disk."
Customer: "Which machine?"
Tech Support: "Do you have a hard drive?"
Customer: "I have two boxes. One has a picture on it."
Tech Support: "Put the first disk in, metal side first."
Customer: "Ok. It's gone in."
Tech Support: "Go to the 'start' button, then run, then type 'setup'."
Customer: "My computer isn't on. How do I turn it on?"
Tech Support: "Push the button by the drive to eject the disk, and press the button that says 'power' on the machine without the pictures on it."
Customer: "Ok. Done."
Tech Support: "Now put in the disk, go to start, run, and type 'setup'."
Customer: "Oh, it's all working now. Thanks, but your software isn't very easy to use, is i
t?"

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