1) Waiter, my plate's wet!
That's not wet, sir - that's the soup!
2) Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup!
Yes sir, that's because they're not very good swimmers.
3) Waiter, this coffee tastes like mud!
Well I'm not surprised, sir, it was ground only a few minutes ago.
4) Waitress, do you serve crabs?
Sit down, sir - we'll serve anyone.
5) Waitress, this egg tastes rather strong!
Never mind, sir, the tea's nice and weak.
6) Waiter, waiter, this chicken only has one leg!
Perhaps its been in a fight Sir.
In that case bring me the winner!
7) Waiter waiter, there's a twig in my soup!
Hold on Sir, I'll get the branch manager.
8) Waiter, Waiter! There's no chicken in the chicken soup!
That's alright Sir, there's no horse in the horseradish either!
9) Waiter, waiter this food's not fit for a pig!
Hang on Sir, I'll get you some that is!
10) Waiter, Waiter! There's a frog on my plate!
Sorry Sir, it was toad in the hole you ordered wasn't it?