Any Excuse

Submitted by j.w.
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Monday, 27 December 2010

My mother used to tell me: 'Any excuse is better than none'.
I have doubts about this, having tried it in court a number of times.

A Judge asked me why I stole things. I said 'because I wanted them'. I got a suspended sentence.

Another Judge asked me why I drove too fast. I said I was in a hurry. Withdrawl of licence for a year.

In front of another Beak I was asked why I told lies. 'So you wouldn't find out the truth' I replied. Short prison term.

When I came out another High & Mighty asked me why I was drunk and disorerly. I said 'because I was thirsty and untidy.' Sent down.

Finally a solemn Judge wearing a black cap asked me why I killed someone. I told him: 'because I didn't like them.'

So all my excuses are ending in my execution. Thanks Mum.

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