A friend of mine was driving around the back woods of Montana and he saw a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale ' So he rang the bell and the owner appeared and told him that the dog was in the backyard.
He went around to the backyard and saw a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.
'You talk?' he asked.
'Yep,' the Lab replied.
After he recovered from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he said 'So, what's your story?'
The Lab looks up and said, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'
'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.' 'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'
He was amazed. He went back in and asked the owner what he wanted for the dog.
'Ten dollars,' the guy said.
'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'
'Because he's a liar. He never did any of that.'