Avon and Somerset Constabulary in conjunction with Northumbria Police
were tonight said to be assisting agents from the Andromeda Galactic
Security Services in tracking one of their secret agents, who, aided
by a local accomplice, it seems was able to evade Newcastle Airport
Security in the early hours of Saturday morning and managed to gain
entry onto a flight to Bristol.
"Agent Ed" - a pan dimensional being of unimaginable intelligence - it is understood has been operating for years deep undercover using the guise of an unemployed layabout in the Wearside area. Now thought to be at large in the South West, the department for Andromeda Inter Galactic affairs is particularly concerned that due to this cover Agent Ed may assume the identity of a local village idiot and become completely undetectable.
Security services also advise not approaching him as in the event of attempting to engage him in conversation you may be moved to committing actual bodily harm.