Your Daily Horoscopes for Tuesday, March 31

The Spoof no longer offers its own funny horoscope service. However, you'll be pleased to know that a similar, better and more extensive service now exists at one of The Spoof's sister sites: Laughsend.net

So to view your horoscopes for today, go to Funny Horoscopes at Laughsend.net.

We apologise for any inconvenience but would like to assure you that the level of service for amusing horoscopes is actually greatly improved at Laughsend.

Breaking News...

Palace Orders Hit on Former DIA Intel Chief

Emperor Barack I, fuming over MidEast reality check by LtGen Davis on Sunday, ordered a hit on the General, palace spies report. Word is Terminator-in-Chief Valerie Jarrett got the nod.
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