Your Daily Horoscopes for Friday, July 31

The Spoof no longer offers its own funny horoscope service. However, you'll be pleased to know that a similar, better and more extensive service now exists at one of The Spoof's sister sites: Laughsend.net

So to view your horoscopes for today, go to Funny Horoscopes at Laughsend.net.

We apologise for any inconvenience but would like to assure you that the level of service for amusing horoscopes is actually greatly improved at Laughsend.

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Pirates' Cruise Ship Snack Attack

A motley crew of swashbuckling pirates commandeered a luxury cruise ship off the coast of Somalia and demanded 10 million dollars until the buccaneers dined in the cafeteria and died of food poisoning
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