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From General Discussion / Porto v Manchester United
Posted 16 Apr 09 17:07
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A majestic Portugese poke and the Pizza you can send to Jose Mourinho c/o Inter Milan, somewhere between ex - Porto and ex - Chelsea, eat your heart Rd, Downtown Milan amongst the fashion queens, Bella Italia, and don't forget one for ol Jagged too!JO

 
From General Discussion / Porto v Manchester United
Posted 16 Apr 09 15:29
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After watching Sir Axel (sweaty) at his after match press conference, crooked tie an all, I failed to understand a fucking word he mumbled. Glaswegian slang at its best, should have let Scousy Roon do the talking and rub the salt in Liverpool's wounds (nothing to do with Hillsborough BTW).

 
From General Discussion / Just All Chat For A While
Posted 16 Apr 09 15:24
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Quote: victor nicholas

Right, that is too many games, I'll try and cut back.

VC, overdoses of the beautiful game on Saturdays lead to impotence, sex - less nights with the missus and pure frustration leading to depression and visits to your local rehab clinic. Reasons; when Ronaldo removes his MAN U shirt and reveals his sun tanned, "Greek God" torso, us mere male mortals are forced to crawl to the fridge, ignore the missus drivelling and get thouroughly pissed. Remedies for this affliction, watch Sumo wrestling! JO

 
From News Discussion / Shroud Of Turin Accidentally Washed
Posted 15 Apr 09 15:09
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I have a Chinese slave called WAN-KIN-DIK, he is an earthquake damaged, one wheeled rickshaw pulling, half starved victim of whom the Jaggedone adopted and enslaved, eversince then he has become very HARD and single handed fought and defeated Wall Street extortionists in that epic film "The Great Financial Meltdown." He's worth his weight in stashed away gold!!! JO

 
From General Discussion / To Any Liverpool Fans - Re Hillsborough
Posted 15 Apr 09 15:02
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Although the most cynical Reds tend to shite on anything scousers do (like sell Wayne to Utd up your butt Liverpool!)
I personally believe on such a day even the most diehard Red will show a bit of solidarity to the west, me included!JO

 
From News Discussion / Nadal And Federer On Fire In Australian Open Tennis Final
Posted 15 Apr 09 10:44
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Quote: victor nicholas

Mixed doubles?

over heated tennis rackets were never a problem for our one and only "True Brit" prodigy "Tiny Tim." He had rather more problems with wobbly gut problems at set point, double fault exaggerations at match point and living in the shadow of our real "True Brit" Greg "i'm really a "True Brit" you must believe me" Rusedski, speaking in a slurry downtown grizzly bear, Mountie like, Canadian accent! Ok we've always got that other "True adopted BRIT cum SCOT" Mr Murray to fly the flag and win our sacred Wimbledon! (Fuck on fred Perry, was he a racist by the way?)

 
From General Discussion / Basketball Anyone?
Posted 15 Apr 09 10:20
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Quote: Jesus Budda


Quote: Jaggedone

Also statistically they tend to grow, in certain body areas, much larger than their white caucasian counterparts, meaning their feet obviously!



I've never looked at the feet.
I usually concentrate on their enormous penises swishing about in their baggy shorts.


Actually, Cantona was a racist.
i have it on good accord that he once called a fellow player a ***** *******.
And he meant it.
He kept his collar up after that - to hide the shame. Mel Gibson did the same after his little outburst a few years back.


Either there are honest gay tendencies here or just accepting the unavoidable truth! Our coloured, negro bretheren, statistically, tend to swish their grapes of wrath slightly deeper than the rest of us (Linford Christie a prime example!). Fortunate for them slightly less fortunate for the rest of us. BTW has anybody researched our Asian brothers re this subject? Asians males tend to rely on the Kama Sutra for their pleasures and not deep primitive penetration! What the fuck has this to do with basketball BTW, thanks Skoob!JO

 
From General Discussion / Easter Monday Except in Scotland
Posted 14 Apr 09 15:07
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Quote: victor nicholas

Thats what my page a day calendar in front of me says.

Why not in Scotland?

I wear a kilt sometimes too, but not on the ressurection day just at heavy metal concerts or to tickle the wifes fantasy. JO

 
From General Discussion / An Absolute Apology To Everybody
Posted 14 Apr 09 15:04
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Quote: victor nicholas


Quote: Jaggedone

One of the many ailments caused by excessive alcohol abuse, excessive consumption of Foie Gras, lack of exercise, sexual abstinence and general abuse of the holy temple.
We all wish you a continual misuse of your temple and hope you stay as you are! JO


Well spoken, without any football references indeed!

VC (did you earn it on the Somme or in the trenches at Ypes? either way listen to the Pogues Waltzing Mathilda, excellent!) contrary to other's opinions here I am not a footy freak, just a has been, weary at the jagged - edge, bum wannabee satirical, piss taking, very amateur writer cum mega - cynic, albeit, your comment is very much appreciated! Muchas Gracias, bedankt und dankerschon!JO

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 14 Apr 09 10:29
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Sorry I misunderstood the thread, being the new thick bastard that I am, just venting my frustrations on the wrong thread, next time better! Apologies!

 
From General Discussion / Footy naah, New Neo Nazi accusations re Prince Harry Boy
Posted 14 Apr 09 10:25
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Maybe it is easier supporting Wigan and naturally more personal. Utd's global millions and mega - bucks make the whole thing so unreachable and untouchable. But once a Red always a Red! Eric was certainly the major factor in their ressurection, dead right there.
I remember sitting in the Kuip / Rotterdam watching Utd beat Barcelona thinking to myself, "this team needs a spark of genius, it was nearly complete, Robbo, Hughsie, etc, but there was something missing." Well the rest is history and we older Reds sometimes wish it had never happened or not?
They are certainly making life difficult for themselves, serial defensive bloopers and the major test will be on Wednesday!
Afflictions caused by Utd, only the amount of televisions which have been kicked and destroyed (just kidding!)JO


 
From General Discussion / Kill Bill
Posted 14 Apr 09 09:30
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By the way who killed Bill (Turnbull)?

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 13 Apr 09 19:27
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Jaggedone Anagram =
DEVILISH DEMONS =

Didn't Expect Violence In Lust, Incestial, SHeepshagging Damned Evil Mind Of Nonsensical Shit !!

 
From General Discussion / Basketball Anyone?
Posted 13 Apr 09 19:17
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Quote: Skoob1999

He's back. And somebody's gonna pay.

Ooh ah!

Love Eric.

Skoob

Messieur Skoob I realise your all time fav Red was Denis "The Mean Menace" Law but would it not be appropriate for your kindely, unfortunately unwell self and this humble, very ancient devilish Jaggedone to commence an exclusive "Mon Dieu" thread for feeding info to the unaware one's amongst us re; who the "true" Dieu really was and still very much is (present away Utd supporters I luv U)?
All answers to Leeds Utd, C.O. The Hate Eric Fan club somewhere across the pennines, Sheepshagging Lane, Postcode ECMD 777 in Division TWO, Leeds!!! JO
PS: Wrote a "Devilish" spoofy piece about Jaz Coleman frontman of the one and only Killing Joke and it was thrown into the dustbin with impunity, what the "HELL" did I do wrong, maybe I should have wrote about Madonna?


 
From General Discussion / Basketball Anyone?
Posted 13 Apr 09 18:55
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JB, Mon Dieu certainly was not a racist, correct, neither is JO, but every time I watch NBA on the telly it tends to be dominated by BBP's = Black, Basketball Players, true or not true? Also statistically they tend to grow, in certain body areas, much larger than their white caucasian counterparts, meaning their feet obviously! Whiter than White JO without the Power!

 
From General Discussion / An Absolute Apology To Everybody
Posted 13 Apr 09 18:49
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Breaking News! Chrysler Building is to be renamed Barack Obamas Temple of Worship, Heavenly Sanctuary for all US crap car makers and the Mekka for unemployed lost soul, ex -car workers sacked by Chrysler CEO's, who in turn were sacked with a platinum (2.5 million bucks!) handshake of tax - payers money and were immediately reinstated as CEO's of the new Barack Obamas Temple of Worship on 6 figure salaries + tax payers bonuses. Why is the planet round? JO / very confused!

 
From General Discussion / An Absolute Apology To Everybody
Posted 13 Apr 09 18:05
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One of the many ailments caused by excessive alcohol abuse, excessive consumption of Foie Gras, lack of exercise, sexual abstinence and general abuse of the holy temple.
We all wish you a continual misuse of your temple and hope you stay as you are! JO


 
From General Discussion / Basketball Anyone?
Posted 13 Apr 09 18:00
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Mushroom head = Elephant Man lookalike or recent nuke bomb explosion somewhere between LA Lakers and Chicago bulls exposing the NBA for what ity really is: N = Nuclear B = Bomb/Black A = Attack. Maybe they danced cheek (arse) to cheek (face), we'll never know!JO

 
From General Discussion / Happy Easter everybody...
Posted 12 Apr 09 11:52
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As a free - thinking, non - believing alien I wish you all prosperity, peace and lots of hard boiled eggs! JO

 
From General Discussion / Federico Macheda
Posted 12 Apr 09 10:43
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Quote: Skoob1999

The lad's a Roman.

I love Rome.

Mrs Skoob and I honeymooned there. See, the lad can't lose. To think he could have ended up playing for Lazio, the Italian version of Millwall...

He's only seventeen you know, but he looks about twenty eight. Strong espresso they do in that Rome.

All The Best

Skoob


Millwall = Lazio/Sieg Heil = Best hooligans on the planet! (Utd Firm are boob sucking babies in comparison!)
Skoob, just mentioned our new prodigy over on another thread, NBG, Natural born Genius! JO

 
From General Discussion / Basketball Anyone?
Posted 12 Apr 09 10:39
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8 foot tall, 20 inch dick, shoe size 55 and a 1/2, slightly off coloured coffee colour, tatooed black, varnished balls hanging deep between those ultra baggy, silky (gayish) shorts, multi - coloured negro hairstyle, resembling a certain Arsenal real via, via, "TRUE BRIT" defender, millions of bucks, own MTV cribs prog and wanks off every time he sees Michael Jordan high - flying. This is the criteria required to become a NBA (Natural Born Asshole), sorry Skoob, your meniscule measurements don't add up, stick to being a die hard (without Viagra) RED! JO

 
From General Discussion / Footy naah, New Neo Nazi accusations re Prince Harry Boy
Posted 12 Apr 09 10:31
Message

Quote: Skoob1999

Tickety Boo Mate

Up the reds!

Regards

Skoob

I'm glad we've reached a common goal, taking the piss out of those who really deserve it i.e. Nani, Portugese copy of the real thing and one of the worst buys Ferguson (well nearly worst buys, there's been a couple of others too) ever made. Send him back to the Portugese green Celtic (who?) circular striped mob where he came from.
Got out of jail again yesterday thanks to Lazio ex - Prodigy with a flick of the foot, swivel of the hips, without the collar, reminds me of a certain French Monsieur who resurrected Utd single handed! Greetings Skoob

 
From News Discussion / All American Dogs to be Shipped to China and Boiled in Soy Sauce for Debt Relief
Posted 10 Apr 09 20:01
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Quote: Skoob1999

Jagged One

You can be as controversial as the administrators allow, but do me a personal favour, please.

Don't make all United fans out to be arrogant pricks. Some are, but not all. Please don't propogate the legend.

I ask you this in good faith, with my hand on my heart.

Regards

Skoob


We meet here too, no way would I ever regard "real" Utd fans as tossers, they have my upmost respect and love Utd and maybe would even die for Utd, this I know.

I was a fanatic Utd fan once, now its cooled, I don't know if you've misunderstood me but being here as a newcomer I am amongst some pretty hot writers and I wish only to show respect to them just like any real Utd fan who happens to be here too!

Controversy, provocation are part of my writing, thought processing and after searching wide on the cyber waves at last I've found somewhere where such processes come together and produce some shithot satire and superb pieces, compliment, and if you're a Utd fan, much the better!!!

 
From General Discussion / Footy naah, New Neo Nazi accusations re Prince Harry Boy
Posted 10 Apr 09 19:51
Message

Quote: Skoob1999

Yeah. Riiight.

I remain cynical. To be convinced.

You are taking the piss.

You'll get blown out of the water. Trust me.

Lower Broughton Red.

aka Skoob

OK man cynicism is my middle name but not a pisstaker as far as Utd go only the TRUTH, Gothenburg, Rotterdam, Wembley, Cologne, Bochum, (friendly games) up and down the UK, you can blow me out of the water as hard as you like, I was there and my scrapbook is there to prove it.

The only time I deserted Utd was after I hitchiked to Spain in the seventies and became a beach bum for three years, Benidorm, fucked every (female) that was on offer and got what I deserved a giant size needle in the butt!

Nowadays I'm slightly cooled towards the present Utd, age, indifference, they earn too many bucks, my writing, and Ronaldo!

I still respect any Utd fan who's been there from way back when and you are obviously one of them, and I certainly wouldn't wanna blow you away mate, thats where we differ and my cynicism retreats!JO

 
From General Discussion / Footy naah, New Neo Nazi accusations re Prince Harry Boy
Posted 10 Apr 09 19:32
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No Skoob, no piss taking here, we use to attack and take the clock end at Highbury, the Chicken Run at Upton, etc lead by a tatooed Skinhead, can't think of the muvva fuckers name, frightening bastard! Always met at a nearby Underground station, marched proudly and scared the shit out of everybody. Those were the days, nowadays it's just well, shit.
Would never pisstake about those days, fucking hell I eyeballed Tony Dunne once when he did a sliding tackle at Upton, watched Bestie, Law and Charlton thrash Bobby Moore and co. Happy memories only to be upstaged by the only true Nr 7 and his seagulls!

 
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