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From General Discussion / Porto v Manchester United
Posted 17 Apr 09 14:15
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Quote: Monkey Woods


Quote: Jaggedone

Blue Monday, crap record by New Order who couldn't even lick the boots of Ian Curtis and his Joy Division.


Hmmm Jaggedone... aren't New Order the very same people who you are now referring to as 'his Joy Division'? I agree that without Curtis, the band would have been very different, but they have had massive success, perhaps even more success than they might have had with Curtis.

Anyway, I thought Curtis was a City fan. Gretton was.

Yes Skoob, correct but Joy Division were certainly not what New Order turned out to be, an electronic pop group. Ian Curtis was the greatest frontman the Brit underground/alternative rock scene has ever produced and he died much too early. This JO is a Joy divison nutter and New Order creamed off the growing reputation of JD and went on to become what they were, sad, very sad! As for their footballing inclinations, no idea, only that other bunch of Mancunian twats, the Callagher Bros, are certainly very light blue! By the way as you know they lost, again! Maybe Hughsie should exchange Nani for Robinho, good deal or not? JO

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 17 Apr 09 12:48
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Quote: Monkey Woods

Skoob knows of Oliver Bierhoff.

Before I Ever Relinquish Heavymetal Or Fucking Females - I'd rather top myself

 
From News Discussion / Muslim Woman Stoned With Cricket Balls In Dudley. On A Bus.
Posted 17 Apr 09 10:49
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I did actually suggest on my blog site (dare I mention it here on these more than holy forums) that after Barack described his bowling style as "rather spa-sticky" he should hang his big half/black cohones in the middle of a ten pin bowling alley and let the global handicapped population aim ten pin bowling balls at him hoping for a strike (no analogies here with Maggie Fartcher new recloned CEO of General Motors, yet another story told, name dropping mother fucker!), mega OUCH! James Bond Style!JO

 
From General Discussion / Just All Chat For A While
Posted 17 Apr 09 10:40
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Quote: victor nicholas


Quote: Skoob1999

Sounds a bit like Anfield, wouldn't expect you to grasp this, but they tossed human excreta onto United fans below, in the Anfield Road End. In a McDonald's cup.
Skoob


If the excreta was in a McDonalds cup how would you notice?

Poignant thought but being vegetarian I would'nt know, then again if one doesn't eat meat then one should be allowed to eat Macburgers, meat content 0,0% + salad of course be careful of dead worms and other bugs!

 
From News Discussion / Muslim Woman Stoned With Cricket Balls In Dudley. On A Bus.
Posted 16 Apr 09 19:08
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Quote: Earl Grey

JO

Think you are playing down the wrong line. You need to take a new guard otherwise you might be caught out or have your bails whipped off.

Regards

Earl

The Pun arose and was stumped after hitting everyone for a six even with his bails on. Boundaries were reachable once the guard was eased, the burak was removed and the ball reached it's goal!JO Always known to be out a tangent?

 
From News Discussion / Muslim Woman Stoned With Cricket Balls In Dudley. On A Bus.
Posted 16 Apr 09 18:48
Message

Quote: Skoob1999

JO

Don't quite see what you're hinting at here.

Fucking great goal by Ronaldo though, wasn't it?

Regards

Skoob

Missed the point of delivery, shame on you, bails off, LBW ol bean (Left Bus Wanking)six overs and out!

 
From General Discussion / Porto v Manchester United
Posted 16 Apr 09 18:36
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The only Blue's I ever got involved in were Porno (failed cause my dick was the wrong colour and of an Asian origin!) Blue Monday, crap record by New Order who couldn't even lick the boots of Ian Curtis and his Joy Division. Monday morning Blues, affliction caused by pissing it up on Sunday. Sky Blues, my boy trialled for Coventry City and was sadly not taken on and the real Blues, John Lee Hooker (not the one in the infamous mugshots with Hugh "I never had sex with that coloured Hooker, but man were her fat lips moist!") Grant! JO


 
From News Discussion / Muslim Woman Stoned With Cricket Balls In Dudley. On A Bus.
Posted 16 Apr 09 17:23
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Quote:

<blockquote><hr noshade="noshade" size="1" width="100%" />Extract from Story:
Horror today here in Dudley as a Muslim woman, wearing a burka was stoned with cricket balls on a Wolverhampton to Dudley bus.

It has yet to be ascertained why the violence broke out, but one passenger told us:

"I think the Muslim woman expressed objections to a drunken passenger, stating in no uncertain terms that drinking was an unacceptable pastime. Things appeared to calm down following.....

Click here for full story ยป<hr noshade="noshade" size="1" width="100%" /></blockquote>

Please discuss at will.
PLEASE NOTE: The story you are discussing is a JOKE. It is a SPOOF NEWS story written on a SPOOF NEWS website.


There is talent beneath that red - deviled skin. BTW do I detect a slight form of masochism from our hidden muslim female wishing to criticise drunken louts armed with original, British, William Grace cricket bats and balls. Where are the days of a good ol baseball bat when confronted with such outlandish criticism from our burka covered muslim sisterhood. God (who?) bless Allah (who?) and may the next Hooligan, Skinhead cricket supporter offer you a cup of good old fashion Brit, Earl Grey instead of a cricket ball between your hidden eyes!

 
From News Discussion / Sir David Attenborough gives his life to save the planet
Posted 16 Apr 09 17:13
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Anthropoligal in-seine-ity, love it, especially the small eared elephants. Wrote a piece about elephants crapping, and sheep and cows farting once, messy business and ozone endagered.JO

 
From General Discussion / Porto v Manchester United
Posted 16 Apr 09 17:07
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A majestic Portugese poke and the Pizza you can send to Jose Mourinho c/o Inter Milan, somewhere between ex - Porto and ex - Chelsea, eat your heart Rd, Downtown Milan amongst the fashion queens, Bella Italia, and don't forget one for ol Jagged too!JO

 
From General Discussion / Porto v Manchester United
Posted 16 Apr 09 15:29
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After watching Sir Axel (sweaty) at his after match press conference, crooked tie an all, I failed to understand a fucking word he mumbled. Glaswegian slang at its best, should have let Scousy Roon do the talking and rub the salt in Liverpool's wounds (nothing to do with Hillsborough BTW).

 
From General Discussion / Just All Chat For A While
Posted 16 Apr 09 15:24
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Quote: victor nicholas

Right, that is too many games, I'll try and cut back.

VC, overdoses of the beautiful game on Saturdays lead to impotence, sex - less nights with the missus and pure frustration leading to depression and visits to your local rehab clinic. Reasons; when Ronaldo removes his MAN U shirt and reveals his sun tanned, "Greek God" torso, us mere male mortals are forced to crawl to the fridge, ignore the missus drivelling and get thouroughly pissed. Remedies for this affliction, watch Sumo wrestling! JO

 
From News Discussion / Shroud Of Turin Accidentally Washed
Posted 15 Apr 09 15:09
Message
I have a Chinese slave called WAN-KIN-DIK, he is an earthquake damaged, one wheeled rickshaw pulling, half starved victim of whom the Jaggedone adopted and enslaved, eversince then he has become very HARD and single handed fought and defeated Wall Street extortionists in that epic film "The Great Financial Meltdown." He's worth his weight in stashed away gold!!! JO

 
From General Discussion / To Any Liverpool Fans - Re Hillsborough
Posted 15 Apr 09 15:02
Message
Although the most cynical Reds tend to shite on anything scousers do (like sell Wayne to Utd up your butt Liverpool!)
I personally believe on such a day even the most diehard Red will show a bit of solidarity to the west, me included!JO

 
From News Discussion / Nadal And Federer On Fire In Australian Open Tennis Final
Posted 15 Apr 09 10:44
Message

Quote: victor nicholas

Mixed doubles?

over heated tennis rackets were never a problem for our one and only "True Brit" prodigy "Tiny Tim." He had rather more problems with wobbly gut problems at set point, double fault exaggerations at match point and living in the shadow of our real "True Brit" Greg "i'm really a "True Brit" you must believe me" Rusedski, speaking in a slurry downtown grizzly bear, Mountie like, Canadian accent! Ok we've always got that other "True adopted BRIT cum SCOT" Mr Murray to fly the flag and win our sacred Wimbledon! (Fuck on fred Perry, was he a racist by the way?)

 
From General Discussion / Basketball Anyone?
Posted 15 Apr 09 10:20
Message

Quote: Jesus Budda


Quote: Jaggedone

Also statistically they tend to grow, in certain body areas, much larger than their white caucasian counterparts, meaning their feet obviously!



I've never looked at the feet.
I usually concentrate on their enormous penises swishing about in their baggy shorts.


Actually, Cantona was a racist.
i have it on good accord that he once called a fellow player a ***** *******.
And he meant it.
He kept his collar up after that - to hide the shame. Mel Gibson did the same after his little outburst a few years back.


Either there are honest gay tendencies here or just accepting the unavoidable truth! Our coloured, negro bretheren, statistically, tend to swish their grapes of wrath slightly deeper than the rest of us (Linford Christie a prime example!). Fortunate for them slightly less fortunate for the rest of us. BTW has anybody researched our Asian brothers re this subject? Asians males tend to rely on the Kama Sutra for their pleasures and not deep primitive penetration! What the fuck has this to do with basketball BTW, thanks Skoob!JO

 
From General Discussion / Easter Monday Except in Scotland
Posted 14 Apr 09 15:07
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Quote: victor nicholas

Thats what my page a day calendar in front of me says.

Why not in Scotland?

I wear a kilt sometimes too, but not on the ressurection day just at heavy metal concerts or to tickle the wifes fantasy. JO

 
From General Discussion / An Absolute Apology To Everybody
Posted 14 Apr 09 15:04
Message

Quote: victor nicholas


Quote: Jaggedone

One of the many ailments caused by excessive alcohol abuse, excessive consumption of Foie Gras, lack of exercise, sexual abstinence and general abuse of the holy temple.
We all wish you a continual misuse of your temple and hope you stay as you are! JO


Well spoken, without any football references indeed!

VC (did you earn it on the Somme or in the trenches at Ypes? either way listen to the Pogues Waltzing Mathilda, excellent!) contrary to other's opinions here I am not a footy freak, just a has been, weary at the jagged - edge, bum wannabee satirical, piss taking, very amateur writer cum mega - cynic, albeit, your comment is very much appreciated! Muchas Gracias, bedankt und dankerschon!JO

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 14 Apr 09 10:29
Message
Sorry I misunderstood the thread, being the new thick bastard that I am, just venting my frustrations on the wrong thread, next time better! Apologies!

 
From General Discussion / Footy naah, New Neo Nazi accusations re Prince Harry Boy
Posted 14 Apr 09 10:25
Message
Maybe it is easier supporting Wigan and naturally more personal. Utd's global millions and mega - bucks make the whole thing so unreachable and untouchable. But once a Red always a Red! Eric was certainly the major factor in their ressurection, dead right there.
I remember sitting in the Kuip / Rotterdam watching Utd beat Barcelona thinking to myself, "this team needs a spark of genius, it was nearly complete, Robbo, Hughsie, etc, but there was something missing." Well the rest is history and we older Reds sometimes wish it had never happened or not?
They are certainly making life difficult for themselves, serial defensive bloopers and the major test will be on Wednesday!
Afflictions caused by Utd, only the amount of televisions which have been kicked and destroyed (just kidding!)JO


 
From General Discussion / Kill Bill
Posted 14 Apr 09 09:30
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By the way who killed Bill (Turnbull)?

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 13 Apr 09 19:27
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Jaggedone Anagram =
DEVILISH DEMONS =

Didn't Expect Violence In Lust, Incestial, SHeepshagging Damned Evil Mind Of Nonsensical Shit !!

 
From General Discussion / Basketball Anyone?
Posted 13 Apr 09 19:17
Message

Quote: Skoob1999

He's back. And somebody's gonna pay.

Ooh ah!

Love Eric.

Skoob

Messieur Skoob I realise your all time fav Red was Denis "The Mean Menace" Law but would it not be appropriate for your kindely, unfortunately unwell self and this humble, very ancient devilish Jaggedone to commence an exclusive "Mon Dieu" thread for feeding info to the unaware one's amongst us re; who the "true" Dieu really was and still very much is (present away Utd supporters I luv U)?
All answers to Leeds Utd, C.O. The Hate Eric Fan club somewhere across the pennines, Sheepshagging Lane, Postcode ECMD 777 in Division TWO, Leeds!!! JO
PS: Wrote a "Devilish" spoofy piece about Jaz Coleman frontman of the one and only Killing Joke and it was thrown into the dustbin with impunity, what the "HELL" did I do wrong, maybe I should have wrote about Madonna?


 
From General Discussion / Basketball Anyone?
Posted 13 Apr 09 18:55
Message
JB, Mon Dieu certainly was not a racist, correct, neither is JO, but every time I watch NBA on the telly it tends to be dominated by BBP's = Black, Basketball Players, true or not true? Also statistically they tend to grow, in certain body areas, much larger than their white caucasian counterparts, meaning their feet obviously! Whiter than White JO without the Power!

 
From General Discussion / An Absolute Apology To Everybody
Posted 13 Apr 09 18:49
Message
Breaking News! Chrysler Building is to be renamed Barack Obamas Temple of Worship, Heavenly Sanctuary for all US crap car makers and the Mekka for unemployed lost soul, ex -car workers sacked by Chrysler CEO's, who in turn were sacked with a platinum (2.5 million bucks!) handshake of tax - payers money and were immediately reinstated as CEO's of the new Barack Obamas Temple of Worship on 6 figure salaries + tax payers bonuses. Why is the planet round? JO / very confused!

 
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