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From General Discussion / Interesting Prison Name...
Posted 18 May 09 16:45
Message
Looks like Monkey has taken over as the FO fool for the week, let's hope better words take their place.


VC, absolutely agree let us real crude muvva fuckers utilise such gutterisms, only for real Jaggedones and WAN-KIN-DIK's, by the way talking about evolution, just at this moment listening with pleasure to a certain Fab Four and their majestic classic R-evo-lver-lution, superb ol bean!

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 18 May 09 16:39
Message
Did SAILS all of a sudden develop a second 'i'?

Silly man/true/sorry (I was celebrating the infamous winning of a certain championship with 22 silly buggars running after a rolling, round shaped cylinder, don't mention the word a certain Pope-ual rep denies it's existence)

Sky-high, kaleidoscopically yellowing highlands invoke great histrionics.


histrionic illusions start to relapse into oblivion needing
immeasurable cohesive sympathy


 
From General Discussion / Roadkill
Posted 18 May 09 16:32
Message

Quote: victor nicholas

Which writer most reminds you of roadkill?

I've entered my vote and the only dilemma dangling like the sword of Damocles over my perforated head is:
Roadkill usually can be cooked and eaten, what does one do with a JB after being found dead roadside, certainly one for the JO/CIA (Jaggedone's Cockroach Infiltration Army or even better, MI5 Maggot's-Intestines Infantry 5*****)


 
From General Discussion / Interesting Prison Name...
Posted 18 May 09 16:22
Message
Monkey Woods

Now, like I said, fuck off...mate.


That's extremely debauched lingo coming from our "Affenwald"
I had extremly high expectations from our nearest known relatives, but obviously evolution has it's achilles heels, well it's only human, join the club!

 
From General Discussion / Brit arrogance is a bliss especially when the Argentinians are on the end of it!
Posted 17 May 09 11:48
Message

Quote: Fergus McCarthy

It's Tevez isn't it.

Your worried.


I never discuss footy matters here, someone once slapped my wrists with a wooden ruler for mentioning the "not so beautiful game" and since then I spend my time being lost on the River Plate!

 
From General Discussion / Brit arrogance is a bliss especially when the Argentinians are on the end of it!
Posted 17 May 09 10:54
Message
After experiencing the biggest anti-climax show of 2009 I was left empty, bewildered and very confused. After the Maggie, Falklands Freak Show, and a dumping of their Dictators there has been a noticeable increase in positive Argentinian influences world-wide.
Yesterday was a sad return to that ol "True Brit" Empire, Raj, stiff upper lip arrogance, which the rest of the planet hates, especially Argentina and her favourtie sons.
Deja Vous scenes of the sinking of the Belgrano entered my mind as the Brit arrogance despatched a certain favourite Argentinian son to the depths of "WHY ME FOR FUCKS SAKE!" in perfect Spanish.
Could this be a token gesture of sticking a very stinky Brit middle finger up an Argentinian butt or was it just a simple Adios Amigo?
Only the future will divulge the TRUTH and may the Argentinians one day have the pleasures of sticking their middle fingers firmly up the butts of pathetic Brits feebly attempting to conquer the world once more in a certain shanty town in the back streets of Johannesburg, and may that certain lost son poke his dick up the butt of a certain area of Stretford, UK, and in best Glaswegian tell them with impunity to all "FUCK OFF!"



 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 17 May 09 10:27
Message
Ships have impressive pointy sails

I'm not gonna look up the word, Jaggedone.
And you can't make me no matter how hard you try.


Sails are important implementations lurching sky-high!


 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 15 May 09 18:42
Message

Quote: Jesus Budda


Quote: Jaggedone


Quote: Jalapenoman

Klingons labor ignorantly, never getting offered needed salaries.


Salaries are lying accountants raising ineptitude etc, skyhigh



I don't want to be Monkey pedantic but 'Sky high' is two words.
I really don't want to be Monkey pedantic!
Help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Skyhigh karma yields heightened intensity, guaranteeing hallucinations.

Hallucinations are loose limp undertones causing immense nausea and tremendous illness on-board nautical ships(Sky-High pedantic Alleswisser, look it up it's Kraut)

 
From General Discussion / Waterboarding
Posted 15 May 09 18:34
Message

Quote: BuckwheatsButt

For the record.........

Take the hypothetical: If we knew that there was a nuclear bomb hidden in an American city and we believed that some kind of torture, fairly severe maybe, would give us a chance of finding that bomb before it went off, my guess is most Americans and most senators, maybe all, would say, "Do what you have to do".
So, its easy to sit back in the armchair and say that torture can never be used. But when you're in the foxhole, it's a very different deal.

Senator Charles (Chuck) Schumer (D-NY)


Can we actually take the US claims of bombs and WOMD seriously after their massive "pull the wool over the planet's eyes" excursion into that infamous Arabian state somewhere between Israel and Pakistan begins with an I, and they have no massive oil reserves?

 
From General Discussion / How is healthcare in the UK?
Posted 15 May 09 16:02
Message
I have heard the Cuban and Canadian systems were good and the French have one of the best systems in Europe. The WHO rates the US about 40th in the last report I read, We have a responsive system that costs twice as much as other countries. It will be interesting to see what comes out of the US Congress.


Maybe you should try Central Hospice in downtown Mogadishu, heard the cockroaches participate as anaesthetists!

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 15 May 09 15:57
Message

Quote: Jalapenoman

Klingons labor ignorantly, never getting offered needed salaries.


Salaries are lying accountants raising ineptitude etc, skyhigh

 
From General Discussion / Waterboarding
Posted 15 May 09 15:49
Message
Watched a Brit film the other day about a cockney hooligan turned gangster, turned torturer, turned assassin, pretty interesting and their torture methods were not to be taken lightly, especially the Turk heroine Mafia, OUCH!!!!

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 14 May 09 19:54
Message

Quote: Monkey Woods

Knockers need ogling. Can knockers ever resemble spaceships?

You win I'm off to bed with:

Spaceships please arseholes, crapheads, especially some horrendous idiots playing Star-Trek

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 14 May 09 18:48
Message

Quote: Jesus Budda


Quote: Jalapenoman

Stink thickens in Nancy's knickers


Knickers - naughty, indecent. Crafty Kings enjoy ripped stockings.

Stockings titilate old cunts, knowing inside naughty girls suck

 
From General Discussion / Stephen King Night
Posted 14 May 09 18:40
Message
I feel so sorry for our scouse brethren. So near, and yet so far. I could weep. I really could.

Heh heh

Skoob.


I wrote a couple of bits for a Red Fanzine once and boy did they love Scousers, it was always great fun reading them and far better than the official crap issued by Utd. Maybe you know the name of a couple, I think one was called Red Issue?


 
From General Discussion / Stephen King Night
Posted 14 May 09 07:17
Message
I had an evil night watching "Terror" Teves rip holes in Wigan, excellent entertainment.
Who needs an evil clown when you can watch "kiddies entertainer" Ronny "Ducky" trip over every blade of glass in the JJB Stadium attempting to "stiff" the ref, more evil acts to come against the newly crowned French Champions Arsenalville! I heard Stephen King is planning a new book called THE EVIL ROCKY ROONY/RONNY HORROR SHOW!


 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 13 May 09 10:29
Message

Quote: Monkey Woods

Exit! Xylophone is tiresome.

(at a concert)

tiresome irritating responses excite somebody otherwise monkeys explode

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 12 May 09 18:13
Message

Quote: Monkey Woods

Destroyed - essentially, smashed thoroughly, ripped out your epidermis, darling.

Darling as regarding loony in needy gungarees

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 12 May 09 17:38
Message

Quote: Jalapenoman

Apertif, perfectly eaten, rarely translates into fullness.

fullness usually leaves leftovers non eatable, specially stuffing

 
From General Discussion / For UK writers: What is a liberal?
Posted 12 May 09 15:27
Message

Quote: Monkey Woods


Quote: wirehead

Read the Establishment Clause or Article 11 of the Treaty of Tripoli.





I'll do it before I get in bed tonight.

I'd rather read Venus In Furs as a bedtime story.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 12 May 09 15:19
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Quote: Monkey Woods

Yeasty earholes are so terribly yucky!

yucky, uneatable cows kud yoghurt

 
From General Discussion / Speech Writer for Joe Biden
Posted 12 May 09 15:11
Message

Quote: BuckwheatsButt

Point taken JO....Shalom!

 
From General Discussion / Speech Writer for Joe Biden
Posted 12 May 09 10:28
Message
Like your banter about soccer isn't a total bore time after time......

Actually my quotes pertaining to footy (soccer for you guys) are very short, seldom and certainly adressed to those who enjoy the beautiful game, it would never enter my mind to infiltrate a thread with footy when we can laugh over more serious things.
As for the disguised Popes quote, as mentioned I stand not alone with my opinions about taking these forums seriously and with my one quote I just wanted to express my frustration that subjects are introduced where colleagues start to devour each other in a serious fashion. The majority of writers acknowledge the world out there is pretty shitty and wish to participate here for a bit of non-serious relaxation, it certainly won't happen again, DON'T WORRY, IGNORANCE IS A BLISS!!! JO

 
From General Discussion / Speech Writer for Joe Biden
Posted 12 May 09 08:38
Message
As far as you remember?
How far back is that?

General discussion
For general discussion about life and so on.


Thats what the board says.

If you don't like it why don't you fuck off?


Your insults do not bother me one slight, this is a spoof/satire site as far as I remember, we should all be bantering (as mentioned) and joking about and over the very sick world we live in, and not trying, to in any way, influence each other or it. As seen by other writers here, they and myself (the majority) wish only to poke fun at the very people disgracing the planet. If we lower ourselves to their standards by preaching our invalid opinions, then there is absdolutely no point to these superb forums and the adjoining site.
Take it or leave it, that's my final word on the subject!
In the future avoid like the pest and I certainly will!

 
From General Discussion / Sex With a Very Large Woman
Posted 11 May 09 19:26
Message

Quote: Skoob1999

JO

That kind of thing has really made these boards boring lately. From what I've seen, JB and Victor have tried to chip in and change the tone (and Phil, sorry Phil) but I think they're flogging a dead horse.

I mean, it's not like anybody is likely to change their views is it?

It's a futile waste of what could otherwise be a perfectly normal lunatic rantings forum.

Nostalgically

Skoob.

Absolutely agree and now I'm off to kiss the wife and kids goodnight and have a cuppa green tea aargh!! See you tomorrow JO

 
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