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From General Discussion / Falling Standards
Posted 5 Jun 09 18:27
Message

Quote: Fergus McCarthy

If the gravel isn't raked correctly the paint will peel off and you'll have to do it yourself uberwaffen baffen staffen.


FM, easy, it's only Friday evening, think about the comedown on Sunday!

 
From General Discussion / Falling Standards
Posted 5 Jun 09 18:24
Message

Quote: Jesus Budda

The shower door is broken.
Don't go in there unless you have to shower.

Why else would you have to go into the shower?


There's a certain Hitchcock classic with a Jagged-edge finale, JB ever thought of applying for the position?
I'll gladly apply the cutting thrusts! (just kidding!)

 
From News Discussion / Shocking Conan O'Brian skit features Adam Lambert on The Tonight Show
Posted 5 Jun 09 18:14
Message

Quote: Skoob1999


Quote: queen mudder

Straight into the Spoof hit parade with 13,000+ points, only his/her second Spoof item, the other's a magazine number.


QM - Are you implying that something untoward is going on here? It took me four to five months to make that top 20, and to stay there you have to keep putting in the work, as you undoubtedly know. Personally, it doesn't bother me if somebody cooks the books. Where's the satisfaction in that?

Regards

Skoob.


Dark forces are amongst us, get my POINT!

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 5 Jun 09 18:12
Message

Quote: Jesus Budda


Quote: Skoob1999

Dread Repelled Each Approaching Dreadnought

Hiya JB

Skoob.


Oh hello there, Skoob.
How are you?
Lovely?

Thats nice. i didn't see you there. Lets continue with this intriguing game of shit:


Dreadnought raids - eventually a daring ninja oddball usually gets hit terrifyingly.


terrifyingly equals rectum retards in fantasy yelling in Norwegian, google loves Yanks!

 
From General Discussion / Falling Standards
Posted 5 Jun 09 18:06
Message

Quote: Fergus McCarthy

Schluuurp.


FM I can hear your snorts!

 
From General Discussion / What Is It With Fat People And Sunshine?
Posted 5 Jun 09 18:05
Message

Quote: Jesus Budda

I've never seen inverted nipples, Madame Bitters.

Hmmm.....how very curious.

Jaggedone, you've gone and done it again: what the fuck are you spurting out now???


If one was to always divulge, where would the excitement be!

Swampy waters can become transparent too, depending on the length of the alligators teeth!

 
From General Discussion / Falling Standards
Posted 5 Jun 09 18:01
Message

Quote: Skoob1999

Oh sorry JB.

And you of course.

Have you seen my cat?

Regards

Skoob


JB has his moments especially after sniffing one liners!

 
From General Discussion / Falling Standards
Posted 5 Jun 09 15:43
Message

Quote: Skoob1999

When I trawl through the internet and read comments it never ceases to amaze me how bad they invariably are. Anybody can be forgiven for the odd typo or occasionally missing a comma, or an apostrophe.

But just check out some of the top websites that show comments (Yoo Hoo News, Ewe Tube etc) and the standard is so bad.

Some of the worst Spoof submissions are so superior to the majority of this dreck. And most of us who contribute here are chemically challenged.

This is just my way of saying that Spoof writers are top people. Hats off to you all. Especially JB, who pisses in Monkey Woods's drain. Allegedly.

Regards

Skoob.


Solidarity, especially VC's superb one-liners!

 
From General Discussion / Happy New Year!!!
Posted 5 Jun 09 15:23
Message
I hope J-man realises this thread started as 'an homage' (pretentious?) to his continued contributions to the spoof. And of course all the other writers like you qm and of course liam-1959 who is becoming extremely famous now Mark!

Better late than never! Mega late in this case, was you fucking hibernating!???

 
From General Discussion / Interesting facts, for those who love interesting facts
Posted 5 Jun 09 15:20
Message

Quote: victor nicholas


Quote: Madame Bitters

it's illegal to have sex in a graveyard.




Women don't like it when you say that in bed.


It's when they yawn and asked if you're finished yet, that's when the shit really hits the fan!

 
From General Discussion / What Is It With Fat People And Sunshine?
Posted 4 Jun 09 19:32
Message
Have you ever seen someone with inverted nipples. They're concave. It's really, really creepy. Really.

I'm gonna go puke now.


There is life beyond S...B, before you puke, wipe it up please!

 
From News Discussion / The True Meaning Of The Dead Sea Scrolls Revealed
Posted 4 Jun 09 19:31
Message
He's probably throwing a party with JB and Hannibal Lector!
Guten Appetit!



 
From General Discussion / Interesting facts, for those who love interesting facts
Posted 4 Jun 09 19:29
Message

Quote: Skoob1999

Oh well Jo

At least we've got a friend.

Regards

Skoob.


Who needs friends when you've got JB!

Is VC not around either, love his one-liners!

 
From General Discussion / Interesting facts, for those who love interesting facts
Posted 4 Jun 09 19:17
Message

Quote: Skoob1999

Fair play.

Where's that primate fellow though? I thought he'd be out giving it large about being world chess champion. I'll have to arrange a pool match with him. I might win that.

Regards

Skoob.


After his success over your humble self, he maybe has invited the tiger toothless army to participate in lessons in how to win something!

 
From News Discussion / The True Meaning Of The Dead Sea Scrolls Revealed
Posted 4 Jun 09 19:09
Message

Quote: Skoob1999

I don't think that's gonna happen. Last I heard, Linda was being eaten by vegetarian worms.

Regards

Skoob.


Wicked Skoob, wicked, BTW, are we fucking alone here tonight, where is your chess partner?

 
From General Discussion / Interesting facts, for those who love interesting facts
Posted 4 Jun 09 19:04
Message
There was once a girl on the Barcelona metro...oh don't get me at it...

Regards

Skoob.


I love the underground - Velvet

 
From General Discussion / Happy New Year!!!
Posted 4 Jun 09 19:03
Message

Quote: Roy Turse


Quote: Jalapenoman
Happy New Year to all!!!



Thank you.


I know a shrink who exorcises ground hog days and deja vous'es, fuck me, talk about yesterday!

 
From News Discussion / The True Meaning Of The Dead Sea Scrolls Revealed
Posted 4 Jun 09 19:00
Message
If only you'd told me that yesterday JO, when all my troubles seemed so far away. I believe in yesterday.

Regards

Skoob.


I bet that's what Sir Paul was thinking after romping with that one legged beauty and got stinged for mega-millions, come back Linda!

 
From General Discussion / Interesting facts, for those who love interesting facts
Posted 4 Jun 09 18:55
Message

Quote: Skoob1999

Tomato throwing:

Somewhere in el pais basque I believe. But the name eludes me. How good would that be? Lobbing rotten tomatoes at all and sundry? Beats the crap out of being chased about by angry bullocks.

I think I'll get onto Expedia...

Regards

Skoob.

The thought of romping around in squashed tomatoes with a naked Spanish beauty, well , bollocknese!

 
From General Discussion / Interesting facts, for those who love interesting facts
Posted 4 Jun 09 18:39
Message

Quote: Skoob1999

Queen

Sore subject.

Next time I go to Barcelona I'm going to go to the Magic Fountain thing on Montjuic and boo my head off all the way through Fred singing Barcelona with Montserrat Caballe. And if I get in a really bad mood I might throw some overripe tomatoes at innocent bystanders.

Regards

Skoob.


Sorry, I opened delicate ancient war wounds, shame on you JO, BTW are tomatoes not thrown in Pamplona or Zaragosa or even Valencia?

 
From General Discussion / What Is It With Fat People And Sunshine?
Posted 4 Jun 09 18:32
Message
For the very last time.....I DON'T SPEAK CHINESE!

No prob, I'll flip over to mandarin, maybe we can then understand each other, BTW, I'm representing the rest of us here with that statement!

 
From News Discussion / The True Meaning Of The Dead Sea Scrolls Revealed
Posted 4 Jun 09 18:25
Message

Quote: Skoob1999

It was a pain in the arse JO

Trust me.

Regards

Skoob.


Old Chinese Proverb:
Never play chess with chimps, apes or monkeys, one should check one's mates!

 
From General Discussion / Interesting facts, for those who love interesting facts
Posted 4 Jun 09 18:17
Message

Quote: Skoob1999

Could we please refrain from talking about kinky sex on here. Mrs Skoob thinks I'm getting weird.

Just call me on my mobile.

Regards

Skoob.


I would certainly deny your invitation but I know of a certain JB who would, gladly (beware of those jagged-edged Queen pieces!)

 
From General Discussion / What Is It With Fat People And Sunshine?
Posted 4 Jun 09 18:15
Message
for normal hetero's, very comfortable, JB for your genre, very doubtful!


Really?
Well, I suppose a retarded old cripple like you can't be too choosy with regards female 'company'....


JB your words of wisdom ring bells from a glorious past, in fact your right!
When you reach my age everything becomes minimalistic, including the Tools required!
Es war einmal, leider!

 
From News Discussion / The True Meaning Of The Dead Sea Scrolls Revealed
Posted 4 Jun 09 18:09
Message

Quote: Skoob1999

We actually did play the chess game last night. Monkey Woods won. He stuck his Queen up my corner. I'll have nightmares about that Queen.

It's not every day you get a Queen stuck up your corner.

Regards

Skoob.


My sympathies Skoob, was it a "Mercuri-al" queen or just your run of the mill Village Peoples piece?

 
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