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From General Discussion / A one question test...
Posted 31 May 09 15:27
Message

Quote: victor nicholas

My wife wants me to shoot the rabbits that she says are eating her flowers.

If I use a pellet gun it will just scare them off.

Can't bring out the heavy artillery in the city.

What should I do?

I guessed wrong, I imagined you had a country mansion in Tunbridge Wells (used to live there myself, council ouse mate!).

Rabbits poison the bastards!

 
From News Discussion / The True Meaning Of The Dead Sea Scrolls Revealed
Posted 31 May 09 11:22
Message

Quote: Fergus McCarthy


Quote: Jaggedone


Actually, as already mentioned, I just studied Krishnamurti, and the rest just fell into place (honestly, never touch the shit!)




I studied Christy Murtagh for a while.

He didn't do much apart from go to work, football training and watch Sky sports.


Hence the VOID and the resulting creativity.

Murdoch I'll always be grateful!

 
From General Discussion / A one question test...
Posted 31 May 09 10:52
Message

Quote: Madame Bitters


Quote: victor nicholas

Well Buck, there's your answer.


Dammit, that's what I was about to say!!!!


Gezumped once more, VC is just a rapid gun toting artist!

 
From News Discussion / The True Meaning Of The Dead Sea Scrolls Revealed
Posted 31 May 09 10:48
Message

Quote: Skoob1999

Doc

It's taken me a lifetime to grasp pidgin English. Don't go complicating the issue.

Your Cyber Amigo

Skoob.


As mentioned before, talking behind ones back is rude, but I love it. Life in Holland can be exciting depending how far you remove yourself from the shithole using the substances on offer.

VC, next time I'm in the UK, I'll import some of them, then you can really find the answer to my cryptic questioning.

Actually, as already mentioned, I just studied Krishnamurti, and the rest just fell into place (honestly, never touch the shit!)

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 31 May 09 10:39
Message
The word is "yawn".

You cad, you gezumped me!

Dimwits involve madness with intelligence = true sanity

 
From General Discussion / What Is It With Fat People And Sunshine?
Posted 31 May 09 10:23
Message

Quote: Skoob1999

Why is it that when we get a bit of sunshine, fat people feel a need to walk around half dressed?

Answer: perspiring fatties need to air themselves otherwise they start to pong and they don't give a shit about what "normal" sized people think or stink!.

Why do people start playing tennis?

Answer: People play tennis all year but in sommer they venture outside because its warm (strange human behaviour) and want to show off what they never learnt in the hall!!!

And wear truly ridiculous clothes?

Answer: Shodden overcoats reveal the true tastes of the sheep, shitty, apart from those who can afford decent clothes, the minority!

Is it just me or has the whole world gone mad?

Answer: Skoob, you are mad, that we all know, but the whole world is fucking mad, solidarity, except in Alaska, Siberia and Greenland, where it's to(o) fucking cold anyway!

 
From News Discussion / Jamie's Death Row Dinners
Posted 29 May 09 19:15
Message
Ditto, certainly worth a fiver

 
From General Discussion / shoesorder
Posted 29 May 09 19:13
Message

Quote: Skoob1999

Yeah JO, but mine was real. And a bit frightening too.

Ask harmonica playing Manchester Dave.

He'll verify the story.

Regards

Skoob.


I believe you man, my only underground connections are of the Velvet type, never did walk on the wild side!

 
From News Discussion / Jarrow Marchers Set Off For London Again
Posted 29 May 09 19:03
Message

Quote: Monkey Woods


Quote: Jaggedone

I once started a non f+++y thread here


A what?


There's summat wrong wi' your keyboard.


the dreaded word -----SSSHH

 
From General Discussion / shoesorder
Posted 29 May 09 19:00
Message

Quote: Skoob1999

JO

I once mediated in an argument between a Manc lad and a bouncer in a pub in Basingstoke. The Manc lad had sold the bouncer a 'gold' bling-bling chain for £400 which wasn't gold at all. It was brass, and worth about £2.50. The bouncer had a couple of other heavies with him. How we got out of it without sustaining a serious kicking is beyond me. But we did. Despite the Manc lad gobbing off outside when we'd reached a compromise.

Actually watched Del Boy yesterday, similair story, the heart attack, gold chain classic, always brilliant!

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 29 May 09 18:50
Message
Stink: terrible, inert, noxious kack!

Kack=alemannia con kakalaka (cockroach in Deutsch)


you do know that Monkey Woods will have none of this foreign language shit?


"Kakalaka!",answered Kevin, "Anyway,lets all kakalaka altogether!"

Compliment JB on your release from the straightjacket, that was brilliant (me complimenting JB, things are really sinking)

Yummy = ukranian marshmellows, marvellous, yes


 
From General Discussion / shoesorder
Posted 29 May 09 18:42
Message

Quote: Skoob1999

JO

If you want a business partner of dubious pedigree, I'm your man.

Regards

Skoob.


Scallywag! (ancient word been eradicated from the English dictionary, replaced by HOOLIGAN)

 
From News Discussion / Jarrow Marchers Set Off For London Again
Posted 29 May 09 18:40
Message

Quote: Monkey Woods

It'll be interesting to see how he does react.

He won't be the same as Keegan - nobody is! I'd be extremely surprised if he takes the job on long-term. It's going to be BLOODY HARD for him.


I once started a non f+++y thread here about them and you all ignored it, I'm hurt!!

 
From General Discussion / shoesorder
Posted 29 May 09 18:03
Message

Quote: Skoob1999

I wonder if he delivers to lock up garages. In bulk...

Skoob.


Once again Jaggedone's infiltration theory is confirmed, I should advertise leaking condoms to the impoverished population of the ex-GDR!

 
From News Discussion / Jarrow Marchers Set Off For London Again
Posted 29 May 09 18:00
Message

Quote: Skoob1999

Brilliant Monkey!

5* Loved it Loved It Loved It!

If we go down, I'm ranting you this!

Ah the memories.

Regards

Skoob.

I have eradicated that Geordie fata morgana from my vocabulary.

 
From News Discussion / The True Meaning Of The Dead Sea Scrolls Revealed
Posted 29 May 09 17:59
Message

Quote: victor nicholas

I think DC comics is looking for you.


VC, what a coincidence, I just mentioned being Supermans baddie on another innocuous thread, over there, this must mean telepathic communication between crypt(on)ic minds!

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 29 May 09 17:54
Message
states that are totalitarian economies, stink


Stink: terrible, inert, noxious kack!

Kack=alemannia con kakalaka (cockroach in Deutsch)

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 29 May 09 17:37
Message

Quote: Jesus Budda


Quote: Monkey Woods

Slickers? Like I care! Kissing encourages romantic situations.


Situations involve timing, unique actions that incur occasionally nuanced states.

states that are totalitarian economies, stink

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 29 May 09 15:42
Message

Quote: Monkey Woods

JO, you're shit at this game!

Where's the 'p'-word?

at least I've learnt to start with the right word!! Stop being so Rt.Hon. Yorkshire Ripperish!
Correction:
Temperatures equal mini pieshaped entrances requiring anal testing under rear end slickers






Fuck me whatever next!

 
From General Discussion / Lick this and go to heaven!
Posted 29 May 09 15:32
Message

Quote: victor nicholas


Quote: queen mudder

Mennonite offshoots?


Lookin limber queenie!


She's certainly got her head where I would like to have mine, sexist bastard JO!

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 28 May 09 18:52
Message

Quote: Jesus Budda


Quote: Monkey Woods

Surreptitiously, Ursula roughly rubbed Edward's penis, tossing it till it overloaded unlimited semen, like yoghurt.


Well done, Monkey person.

I thought I was alone and was delighted to discover that their are other inhabitants of Uranus.

Yoghurt occasionally gets hard under regulated temperatures.

Temperatures equal mini entrances requiring anal testing under rear end slickers

 
From News Discussion / The True Meaning Of The Dead Sea Scrolls Revealed
Posted 28 May 09 17:30
Message

Quote: victor nicholas

Now that you mention that, if the dead sea scrolls were placed next to some moonshine they might not have been forgotten.

Must have been placed next to some homemade plum based barbeque sauce that didn't turn out.


VC, a flashing bolt of heavenly anger is about to crash your abode, how dare you insinuate that booze has anything to do with our religious reps, feel the pain of a 100000 volts!


 
From General Discussion / A one question test...
Posted 28 May 09 17:24
Message

Quote: Skoob1999

David?

Regards?

Skoob???


The red mist has really attacked your grey cells, habla Spaniol tambien!

Look above and all will be revealed, Bailey as in David (famous photographer maybe!)

 
From General Discussion / A one question test...
Posted 28 May 09 17:09
Message

Quote: Skoob1999

I'd have to be really careful not to get my feet in shot as I push them under.

But I'd go with the black and white.

Regards

Skoob.

Thanks David alias Skoob!

 
From General Discussion / A one question test...
Posted 28 May 09 16:11
Message
I'll refer the question over to David Bailey (this can only come from across the water!)

 
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