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From General Discussion / How to deal with Kim Jong Un
Posted 2 May 17 18:34
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put a bullet in his fat head...

 
From General Discussion / Black & White Minstrel Show
Posted 1 May 17 12:16
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Mr Ed the talking horse or Al Jolson singing like a Black Boy dangling from a branch?

 
From General Discussion / Black & White Minstrel Show
Posted 1 May 17 07:56
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try that these days, you can't even call a cat black anymore!

But seriously, I am so pleased that this type of entertainment has been buried in the crypt....

Mamie!

 
From General Discussion / Readers' Rostrum
Posted 25 Apr 17 15:17
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I never quote on things that remain aloof so how about a "Cat on a hot tin roof"

Now that's really worth a spoof...

BTW is it true that Tennessee spat tobacco into a spittoon whilst writing this classic?

 
From General Discussion / Readers' Rostrum
Posted 25 Apr 17 07:48
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The Cunt of Monte Cristo was also a show stopper!

Oops, did I leave The Story of O somewhere?

 
From General Discussion / Readers' Rostrum
Posted 25 Apr 17 06:49
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VC, I believe they prefer Somalian, but saying that, a Blue Beard Somalian would be quite authentic...

One of my fav books was the Instruction Manual in how to replace the engine of my ageing VW Beetle in German, a superb read indeed...

 
From General Discussion / Readers' Rostrum
Posted 24 Apr 17 18:02
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EQ, if you were to write a book, I'd be first in line...

 
From News Discussion / "Jesus And His Disciples Were Scottish", Claims Historian
Posted 23 Apr 17 11:08
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MW, I often wondered if the sickly, rich vapours arising in the Bang-cock red-light area affected the brain cells and sexual desires normally accepted here by our merry knights, not gay? Obviously, you need to return to Blighty for a green, organic transplant.

I do believe EQ's rather circumferential idea of a round table to accommodate the plethora of genius frequenting these forums is a jolly, jovial idea (not a gay one). Furthermore, Knights parking their rear ends around the table would prefer buxom, bulging wenches serving gallons of mead. This would appeal rather more than your, Asian orientated, fata-morgana cock-fighting version.

I need not enter a different name, as everybody knows how quite eccentrically insane I am; Sir Jaggedone arise...

My cloak is not my sword...

 
From News Discussion / "Jesus And His Disciples Were Scottish", Claims Historian
Posted 22 Apr 17 13:18
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We grow peas in our garden, I suppose EQ would rather resent that analogy...

Turnips too...

No, his grey cells are more like broccoli, much more suitable...

 
From News Discussion / "Jesus And His Disciples Were Scottish", Claims Historian
Posted 22 Apr 17 11:24
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Lionel? MW, you obviously are getting confused with Daniel, sorry, that's Old Testament...

BTW, Argentine tax dodgers would be hung-drawn and quartered in Bonny Scotland...

 
From News Discussion / "Jesus And His Disciples Were Scottish", Claims Historian
Posted 22 Apr 17 09:51
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Before I sue the pants off this plagiarising potholer from up north, I wish to congratulate him on the remarkable piece of historical literature that will help Nicola in her bid to rid (a riddle indeed) Bonny Scotland from the stranglehold of damn Sassenachs in the merry month of May (or was it June?); sir EQ, quite outstanding and,

as Mary said
whilst losing her head
The Bard is a toss
Compared to EQ, the boss
a legendary spoofing Egg Head!

I pushed the big 5 button of course and will now press the translation button; who knows what EQ can do to enhance The Messiah's popularity in the heathen Highlands???

 
From General Discussion / 25 Years Since Frankie Howerd Died
Posted 22 Apr 17 09:10
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totally agree EQ, during my self-employed trucking days to and fro from Germany to Spain I was always tuned in to the BB world service and Around the Horne + Just a minute were the highlights apart from hearing United win title after title.

KW, a cracked, underestimated genius, intellectually brilliant, and so very funny...A great inspiration for me, but I could not even polish his boots...

 
From News Discussion / "If You Can't Speak English, F*ck Off!", Theresa May Tells Wogs
Posted 18 Apr 17 17:07
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That was a bit risky using that W word MW...My golly has The Spoof become a populist movement?

 
From General Discussion / 25 Years Since Frankie Howerd Died
Posted 18 Apr 17 07:53
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MW, seen that actually, x-cellent too, but nothing compares to Williams's superb performance...

Tommy Cooper divided opinions, true, but he was one, I say, one of the best, relating back to the time of course.

I could have listed many more, but I was constipating in a time bubble! No Russell Howard, Jack Dee or others..

Sadly, we're going to lose Billy very soon and he was, or still is, quite genial..

And to be honest, my absolute fav alongside Robin, was Kenneth Williams, a total nutter but what a mind!! Do you remember the radio show, Just a minute, with Williams bouncing off Freud?

A great inspiration for my 'off the wall' feeble attempts...


 
From General Discussion / 25 Years Since Frankie Howerd Died
Posted 18 Apr 17 06:50
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I suppose in the category of great Brit comedians he would be up there no doubt along with Kenneth Williams, Benny Hill, Norman Wisdom, Hancock, Cooper, Connolly, etc. But he was a bit iffy in his private life like most are I guess...

Talking of greats / clock Robin Williams with Parkinson! Genius!

 
From News Discussion / Lorry full of Farage's cheap grey suits refused entry to UK due to EU rules
Posted 17 Apr 17 11:19
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I love beating pulp out of that Nazi moron, well done Sir C F damn fine job I would say!

 
From News Discussion / Colleges Could Replace Football Teams With Race Horses
Posted 17 Apr 17 10:00
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I am so pleased that this particular gem (?) proves the fact that "tastes and opinions can be so vastly different!" Sir, you have split my balding hairs...

 
From General Discussion / 25 Years Since Frankie Howerd Died
Posted 17 Apr 17 09:18
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Creepy but so funny! Carry on up Pompeii a super British classic!

 
From General Discussion / Lost In Space
Posted 14 Apr 17 13:50
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Google Maps or a navi might solve the mystery of missing Mark...

 
From News Discussion / Homo Sapiens Continue to Bludgeon Neanderthals
Posted 8 Apr 17 09:52
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Dear EQ, I fail to see where I would be without your utter madness invading my ageing grey cells...

Six books, an EQ trilogy, plus various other literary gems less...

I stand stoned like a toppled statue of Lenin or swinging effigy of Mussolini in awe at your brilliance...

 
From News Discussion / Homo Sapiens Continue to Bludgeon Neanderthals
Posted 8 Apr 17 09:48
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Dearest VC, your question is totally valid because watching Hull kick balls is even worse than observing Man United missing them..

Now where's that damn tequila...?

 
From News Discussion / Homo Sapiens Continue to Bludgeon Neanderthals
Posted 6 Apr 17 19:03
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VC, I fear that other bunch of marauding monsters, ISIS, now top the charts...Which race do they belong to?

Not the Egg or sack race I fear...

Maybe the headless chicken Derby held in Timbuktu...

Big 5 BTW, nice one...

 
From General Discussion / Horse Latitudes
Posted 5 Apr 17 20:09
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EQ, maybe you should try, EquestrianExperts.GB, I am sure they could offer you a busted polo stick or two; however, a paper mache bust I fear would be beyond your price class...

 
From General Discussion / Heart of Darkness
Posted 4 Apr 17 07:26
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sea sickness is preferable to being devoured by a Great White I do believe, but correct me if I am wrong...

 
From General Discussion / Richard II Writes Advertising Copy For Camping Store
Posted 30 Mar 17 18:33
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Not being such a great follower of the Bard, and certainly not a student of his gobbledygook, I prefer to park my tent on the banks of the pong-y Ganges! Avon calling...

 
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