All times are GMT

Forum Home / Forum posts by Jaggedone


213 Pages - « 1 [2] 3 4 5 » »»
From General Discussion / Trump a Shakespearean Play
Posted 18 May 17 07:44
Message
Macbethian manoeuvres!

Romeo and Juliet kissed
The Bard got pissed
Macbeth back-stabbed in the dark
Henry the Eighth was up the bark
Shakespeare, I never, ever missed..

 
From General Discussion / Mafeking - Use in a sentence
Posted 15 May 17 06:56
Message
Mafeking was not a Boar, and even Michael Caine was off color that day...

 
From General Discussion / World's last living Nazi war crimes prosecutor passes on chilling message about conflict
Posted 13 May 17 16:05
Message
VC, very fishy in Volendam and many Japanese tourists swallowing raw herrings smothered in onions! Quite revolting...

 
From General Discussion / World's last living Nazi war crimes prosecutor passes on chilling message about conflict
Posted 12 May 17 15:10
Message
The Dutch tend to be thin, tall, totally misunderstood, high as kytes and always believing they are more important than they are. Hence, being ancient, rather thick around the waist and a total loony, I guess it would be difficult spotting me at the Gay parade because I have never been there and pink tight panties really do not flatter my superb physique.

VC, away from crazy Amsterdam you would spot me no doubt. Here in this rather mundane (with hills actually) part of Holland I am lucky to be able to cross the border into Germany (5 minutes) and enjoy the sanity that once was insanity and the rest is history...

In fact, I prefer Germany to Holland, nice people, great beer, wine, and food, and much cheaper than here. However, my wife is Dutch, and the rest is history again!

 
From General Discussion / World's last living Nazi war crimes prosecutor passes on chilling message about conflict
Posted 12 May 17 07:44
Message
Not wishing to upset EQ too much VC; yes Holland has its quaint areas. However, things aint quite what they used to be and demographic movements, like in all of Europe, have changed the face of many towns, cities, etc.

Holland is still a pleasant place to live, I am not a great fan of it, but it's a lot better than many surrounding countries, including the UK (unless you have bags of bucks). They deal with the huge difference between haves and have nots in a good, respectful way, and as mentioned, much better than the UK. Perfect is nowhere, so a compromise is the best one can achieve, and Holland is good for that...

Yes you are right; Die deutsche Krankheit, OktoberFest, has also invaded Holland and seeing Dutch people dressed like Bavarian Lederhosen Pissartists is quite amusing!

 
From General Discussion / World's last living Nazi war crimes prosecutor passes on chilling message about conflict
Posted 11 May 17 17:06
Message
VC, your geographical knowledge of the lowlands is quite outstanding, I sense you mean Uden? Uddel? Urmond? even Uithuizermeeden?

Never mind, they're all as flat as a pancake and were even flatter after Adolf marched over them...

 
From General Discussion / World's last living Nazi war crimes prosecutor passes on chilling message about conflict
Posted 11 May 17 07:59
Message
Inglorious B's knees here I guess!

 
From General Discussion / World's last living Nazi war crimes prosecutor passes on chilling message about conflict
Posted 10 May 17 06:59
Message
They called Red Indians "savages" which proves one thing; if you catch a pot calling a kettle black it means white is the color we should call black.

And if everything is black or white why are humans so blinded by color?

Evil is perpetrated by fear of the difference, hence, as long humans fear they will kill..

 
From General Discussion / The Hanging on by a Thread Thread
Posted 9 May 17 11:23
Message
Effigies on the dangle...

 
From General Discussion / Prince Phillip to Retire
Posted 9 May 17 07:13
Message
I believe we should pay his pension and thwart this thread...

 
From News Discussion / Pay and display on M60
Posted 2 May 17 19:32
Message
The reasons why I will ignore this shorty are obvious! It is a Manchester unwritten law never to mention Scouse Country in the same breath as Manc, and this gentleman only needed a short breath to write this....Oill give it -1, sorry...

 
From General Discussion / How to deal with Kim Jong Un
Posted 2 May 17 18:34
Message
put a bullet in his fat head...

 
From General Discussion / Black & White Minstrel Show
Posted 1 May 17 12:16
Message
Mr Ed the talking horse or Al Jolson singing like a Black Boy dangling from a branch?

 
From General Discussion / Black & White Minstrel Show
Posted 1 May 17 07:56
Message
try that these days, you can't even call a cat black anymore!

But seriously, I am so pleased that this type of entertainment has been buried in the crypt....

Mamie!

 
From General Discussion / Readers' Rostrum
Posted 25 Apr 17 15:17
Message
I never quote on things that remain aloof so how about a "Cat on a hot tin roof"

Now that's really worth a spoof...

BTW is it true that Tennessee spat tobacco into a spittoon whilst writing this classic?

 
From General Discussion / Readers' Rostrum
Posted 25 Apr 17 07:48
Message
The Cunt of Monte Cristo was also a show stopper!

Oops, did I leave The Story of O somewhere?

 
From General Discussion / Readers' Rostrum
Posted 25 Apr 17 06:49
Message
VC, I believe they prefer Somalian, but saying that, a Blue Beard Somalian would be quite authentic...

One of my fav books was the Instruction Manual in how to replace the engine of my ageing VW Beetle in German, a superb read indeed...

 
From General Discussion / Readers' Rostrum
Posted 24 Apr 17 18:02
Message
EQ, if you were to write a book, I'd be first in line...

 
From News Discussion / "Jesus And His Disciples Were Scottish", Claims Historian
Posted 23 Apr 17 11:08
Message
MW, I often wondered if the sickly, rich vapours arising in the Bang-cock red-light area affected the brain cells and sexual desires normally accepted here by our merry knights, not gay? Obviously, you need to return to Blighty for a green, organic transplant.

I do believe EQ's rather circumferential idea of a round table to accommodate the plethora of genius frequenting these forums is a jolly, jovial idea (not a gay one). Furthermore, Knights parking their rear ends around the table would prefer buxom, bulging wenches serving gallons of mead. This would appeal rather more than your, Asian orientated, fata-morgana cock-fighting version.

I need not enter a different name, as everybody knows how quite eccentrically insane I am; Sir Jaggedone arise...

My cloak is not my sword...

 
From News Discussion / "Jesus And His Disciples Were Scottish", Claims Historian
Posted 22 Apr 17 13:18
Message
We grow peas in our garden, I suppose EQ would rather resent that analogy...

Turnips too...

No, his grey cells are more like broccoli, much more suitable...

 
From News Discussion / "Jesus And His Disciples Were Scottish", Claims Historian
Posted 22 Apr 17 11:24
Message
Lionel? MW, you obviously are getting confused with Daniel, sorry, that's Old Testament...

BTW, Argentine tax dodgers would be hung-drawn and quartered in Bonny Scotland...

 
From News Discussion / "Jesus And His Disciples Were Scottish", Claims Historian
Posted 22 Apr 17 09:51
Message
Before I sue the pants off this plagiarising potholer from up north, I wish to congratulate him on the remarkable piece of historical literature that will help Nicola in her bid to rid (a riddle indeed) Bonny Scotland from the stranglehold of damn Sassenachs in the merry month of May (or was it June?); sir EQ, quite outstanding and,

as Mary said
whilst losing her head
The Bard is a toss
Compared to EQ, the boss
a legendary spoofing Egg Head!

I pushed the big 5 button of course and will now press the translation button; who knows what EQ can do to enhance The Messiah's popularity in the heathen Highlands???

 
From General Discussion / 25 Years Since Frankie Howerd Died
Posted 22 Apr 17 09:10
Message
totally agree EQ, during my self-employed trucking days to and fro from Germany to Spain I was always tuned in to the BB world service and Around the Horne + Just a minute were the highlights apart from hearing United win title after title.

KW, a cracked, underestimated genius, intellectually brilliant, and so very funny...A great inspiration for me, but I could not even polish his boots...

 
From News Discussion / "If You Can't Speak English, F*ck Off!", Theresa May Tells Wogs
Posted 18 Apr 17 17:07
Message
That was a bit risky using that W word MW...My golly has The Spoof become a populist movement?

 
From General Discussion / 25 Years Since Frankie Howerd Died
Posted 18 Apr 17 07:53
Message
MW, seen that actually, x-cellent too, but nothing compares to Williams's superb performance...

Tommy Cooper divided opinions, true, but he was one, I say, one of the best, relating back to the time of course.

I could have listed many more, but I was constipating in a time bubble! No Russell Howard, Jack Dee or others..

Sadly, we're going to lose Billy very soon and he was, or still is, quite genial..

And to be honest, my absolute fav alongside Robin, was Kenneth Williams, a total nutter but what a mind!! Do you remember the radio show, Just a minute, with Williams bouncing off Freud?

A great inspiration for my 'off the wall' feeble attempts...


 
213 Pages - « 1 [2] 3 4 5 » »»
Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

Go to top

Who is online?

There are no registered users currently online.

Profile Featured Writer

IainB
IainB
Joined: 07 October 2008
Stories Written: 1,531
51 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more