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From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 11 Oct 09 10:13
Message

Quote: Pimpmycapitalist

salaciously ate little apricots coated in oil under strasbourg late yesterday!


yesterday everybody seemed to enjoy rhetoric directed at Yanks!

 
From General Discussion / Any Americans Heard of Jack Dee?
Posted 11 Oct 09 10:08
Message
VC knows why I'll put my oar in here!

Jack is one of those comedians who doesn't need props, flashy dress, images or filth (sometimes) he just cracks on about the little things in life which, everybody does! His aura is mega and as soon as he hits the stage the people are falling in the aisles with laughter, naturally brilliant!

It's a fine art to be so minimalistic and move the people so brilliantly!

Class act just like VC's one-lining!

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 9 Oct 09 19:03
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Quote: Jesus Budda

Yarns are rubbish, nocturnal stories.


stories teach others real idealogical, exact, shit!

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 9 Oct 09 17:53
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Quote: Philbert of Macadamia

Shanghai has a nice German ham available immediately!


immediately means meat eating during innovative acts timed excellently leaving yarns

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 9 Oct 09 14:56
Message

Quote: Philbert of Macadamia

Expertise XI performed everything right, topping international sailing expectations!


expectations = xenophobian plasma engulfing Chinese Towns act terrifyingly in overdoses near Shanghai!

 
From News Discussion / Spoof writers throw rotten apples and scream FIX, FIX, at Herta Mueller, nobel prize winner 2009 for literature!
Posted 9 Oct 09 14:02
Message

Quote: Morse


Quote: Jaggedone

Spoof for the boys and girls, support our "NOBEL" bid for SIR SKOOBSPEARE!!




JO: stay off that Lutefisk....all that lye is going to your brain! 5*

....and I got news for you....save some room under the bridge, we're all goin' be leavin' here soon....can you grant amnesty....?


Morse for you and the boys, anytime, I've asked the King Albino Rat and my slave WAN-KIN-DIK and they approve!

Can't wait for the banter to begin!

 
From News Discussion / Spoof writers throw rotten apples and scream FIX, FIX, at Herta Mueller, nobel prize winner 2009 for literature!
Posted 9 Oct 09 12:18
Message
Spoof for the boys and girls, support our "NOBEL" bid for SIR SKOOBSPEARE!!

 
From General Discussion / Yank Bashing
Posted 8 Oct 09 19:39
Message

Quote: Madame Bitters

If you'd like to see a good example of Texas, watch King of the Hill. It's a fair representation- at least the part of TX I'm from.

I just recently started watching a TV show called My Name is Earl which is now on reruns.

I realized that I sound exactly like Earl's ex-wife, Joy. Especially when I get excited or upset.

I wish I looked like her too.


My condolences

 
From General Discussion / Who Did You Have A Crush On As A Kid?
Posted 8 Oct 09 18:48
Message

Quote: Pimpmycapitalist

LOL that took me a second or 2 to figure out what you meant by that!

Lol, im not jesus!

But Madonna has a bad track record!

Madonna would love me i was born in Malawi!

She would adopt me !!

Regards

PMC


Only prob is, you'd have to share the inheritance with 50 million other Biafran babes!

 
From General Discussion / When Cowboys are mentioned!
Posted 8 Oct 09 18:40
Message
Real cowboys started with Bob Hope in The Paleface, laugh a second!!!

 
From General Discussion / Yank Bashing
Posted 8 Oct 09 18:35
Message

Quote: Morse

Skoob: it's a regional accent type of thing, much like you have in your country.

when we came to SC to look for houses our realtor "Big Bubba" said he was going to 'carry us to lunch"....he was big enough to do it, but I was getting nervous till he explained he was 'takin' us to lunch....

more southern phrases as I get em'...

I've aleady forgotten all my Maine phrases, but they'll come back, as they
were really good ones too..

Lil Bubba,
Morse and Bear 'Dawg' ( Big Bubba also liked Bear, and pronouced his name using 4 sylables....


Morse, please refrain from bastardising our language any further otherwise I'll be forced into spanking your botty!

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 8 Oct 09 18:31
Message

Quote: Jaggedone


Quote: Jesus Budda

necessitated economic culpability, encouraged sustainable sexual irritation that allowed Terrance eat dick.


dick is cunt knowledge!


knowledge, never owning Windows laptops easily downloading Google's expertise!

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 8 Oct 09 18:28
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Quote: Jesus Budda

necessitated economic culpability, encouraged sustainable sexual irritation that allowed Terrance eat dick.


dick is cunt knowledge!

 
From General Discussion / British Comedy Shows - For Our American Friends
Posted 8 Oct 09 18:27
Message

Quote: Frankie The J

Skoob fans:

I have, in fact, spoken with Mrs. Skoob by telephone (more often than Skoob knows, too!!!!) and she assures me, that among his faults there is a penis.

Skoob is not gay. He's a sad, sad man who makes cloudy lenses for his wonderful boss.

Not in a gay way,
fej


FJ lately you've being "Gaying" it quite a lot, have you a Homophobia? If yes, I can recommend my shrink, DR. Detlef Bendover!

 
From General Discussion / Alert to fellow credit card holders
Posted 8 Oct 09 18:23
Message
It's the fucking Mafia or Bin Laden!

 
From General Discussion / Who Did You Have A Crush On As A Kid?
Posted 7 Oct 09 19:00
Message

Quote: Pimpmycapitalist

Well perhaps its pathetic and sometimes vulgar! lol

But i reckon i would still screw her!.

Desprate?

Perhaps

LOL

regards

PMC


you're not Jesus!

 
From General Discussion / When Cowboys are mentioned!
Posted 7 Oct 09 18:46
Message

Quote: Pimpmycapitalist

When Cowboys are mentioned what do you think of first?

Here is my list.

Bow legged John Wayne.

Pulp fiction - and its famous gay, kidnap rape scene!

Clint Eastwood.

Broke cock mountain - Heath Ledger.

Regards



Bob Dylan



 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 7 Oct 09 18:44
Message

Quote: Jesus Budda

Nonsense! Onions naturally smell! Even nitwits smell enough!


enough, no, otherwise useless gaffs happen

 
From General Discussion / The Exclusive Jesus Budda/Monkey Woods Acronym Thread
Posted 7 Oct 09 17:55
Message

Quote: Jesus Budda

Shipbuilders have important powers but usually imbibe leftover drink, éclairs, raisin's, skittles.


I prefer anagramming it anyway, hope U 2 have a long and happy life together!

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 7 Oct 09 17:51
Message

Quote: Jesus Budda

Schools can house odious oiks like schoolchildren.


schoolchildren can habitually offer offerings leaving crap-heads in limbo drooling, ranting, ecological nonsense!

 
From General Discussion / British Comedy Shows - For Our American Friends
Posted 7 Oct 09 17:39
Message
Enough to be going on with.

Regards

Skoob.


Sir Skoobsspeare, shame on you, you forgot Black Adder! 100 lines and dunce hat on!

 
From General Discussion / Yank Bashing
Posted 7 Oct 09 17:37
Message

Quote: Morse

JO: tweed knickers, argyle socks, wellies, shetland isle sweater vest, driving tam,
italian calf skin shooting/driving gloves, wicker picnic basket with kippers, gin and some aged port...don't forget the old school ascot or tie...

and yes, the odd writings to read from your archives...got the local book club all primed and waiting for your arrival and book signing activities...

please don't forget to shower, but shaving is optional....

Your USA Literary Agent and Minder,

Morse


I always knew I was in capable hands, dankeschön, BTW I look a treat, just looked in the mirror, only things missing are my BOWLER + plus fours dammit Jeeves, try and get a fucking butler these days!

 
From General Discussion / Yank Bashing
Posted 7 Oct 09 14:42
Message

Quote: Morse

JO: you gotta getta around more....forget the Golden Gate and the Oakland Bay bridges...come to New York and try the George Washintong, the Brooklyn and the Pulaski skyway bridges...we'll even leave a light on fer ya!

Morse


Morse, what's the dress CODE when you invite me over for the after dinner speech given in real ENGLISH, actually for the trip I'm brushing up my multi-culti Babylonian practised in the four corners of the planet called the USA!

Afghani, I prefer to leave to the Taliban!

 
From General Discussion / Ok, You English are now toast....hold the cheese!
Posted 6 Oct 09 20:07
Message

Quote: Morse


Quote: Jaggedone

My Mum made the best Cheese on toast (Welsh Rarebit) on the planet! Bless her!!


JO: Get Frankie's recipe for S.O.S (a Morse favoroute naturally!)

Don't ever say the navy doesn't know their shit....


Morse


I once contemplated joining the Navy, couldn't walk on water though!

 
From News Discussion / Glastonbury Festival 2010 sells out in 5 minutes, only problem is nobody knows the crap line-up
Posted 6 Oct 09 19:20
Message
Hope you've all bought your Glastonbury tickets, Dame Vera lynn an all!!

 
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