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From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 26 Oct 09 17:39
Message

Quote: Jesus Budda

Nonces = odious naked cretins. Engaged sexually.


sexually employing xylophones under lashing lesbians yield!

 
From General Discussion / is this the end of Earl Grey?
Posted 26 Oct 09 16:33
Message

Quote: Morse

EARL....EARL....SAY IT AIN'T SO!!!!!!


What's all this then? Police can't say 'Evenin' all' any more
By DAVID WILKES
Last updated at 8:16 AM on 26th October 2009



Hard work being an officer: The new dictat tells officers not to make assumptions about the meaning of everyday phrases
With his greeting of 'Evenin' all', Dixon of Dock Green embodied the values of the solid, commonsense copper.
But his reassuring salutation, which began each episode of the classic police TV drama from 1955 to 1976, is one which today's real-life officers should be wary of using.
According to one force's official guidelines, it could confuse people from different cultural backgrounds.


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1222813/Whats-Police-say-evenin-more.html#ixzz0V2jfaNA9


Sad, Earl was a Gentleman, a scholar and a great laugh, there's not many left here!

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 25 Oct 09 10:38
Message

Quote: Monkey Woods

Wildly, I licked dandelions; loudly, yobbishly.


yobbishly often belies bad impish smackings hitting loutish yobs

 
From General Discussion / Jesus Budda - The Memoirs
Posted 25 Oct 09 10:36
Message

Quote: Monkey Woods

Dear Mr Snuggums,

I, Sir, am Mary's husband, and I have been following your secret love tryst on my personal computer, which I have kept in a cupboard, hidden from my wife for over 40 years. I have stolen details of her email log-in, and recently discovered her disloyalty - albeit a cyberspace-type disloyalty - and feel that I must alert you to Mary's penchant for striking up relationships with token shop managers and their ilk.

Mary frequently makes the acquaintance of a chap like yourself. Soon after, she dumps the poor soul in question on emptying his bank account of his entire life savings. She regularly purports to be Nigerian, this fraud to undertake. If I were you, Mr Snuggums, I'd get rid of the bitch before she fleeces you.

Yours sincerely,

Eric Umbongo (Mary's husband)


Voodoo magic from the Woods!

 
From Magazine Discussion / The "Peace of Pizza" saga!
Posted 25 Oct 09 10:33
Message

Quote: Morse


Quote: Jaggedone


Quote: Morse

....all you guys should have 'curried' more favor....../blockquote]

Mac-Singh-les I presume with chips!



fuck it...48 points is 48 points....better than a sharp stick in the eye!

JO: are you going to saddle up for 'the big un'....the Bordello Roundup...??

If not, you're going to lose your bridge privileges.....remember, try to maintain being coherent...us yanks don't always understand....and don't shoot the inn keeper, I kind a fancy her....

Morse


Curry = Mac (donalds) = Singh (common Indian surname) = les (end of Macdona-les)

There are no plans to remove me from my bridge as I have just been elevated from subterrein to ground zero, can see the planes heading my way!

 
From Magazine Discussion / The "Peace of Pizza" saga!
Posted 24 Oct 09 15:04
Message

Quote: Morse

....all you guys should have 'curried' more favor....../blockquote]

Mac-Singh-les I presume with chips!

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 24 Oct 09 14:48
Message

Quote: Jesus Budda

Saves all valuable electrical supplies.


supplies using piss pot lavatories in Ethiopia stink!

 
From General Discussion / Jesus Budda - The Memoirs
Posted 24 Oct 09 14:03
Message
JB, take your hand, lower it to between your thighs, gently pull and push until object of desire becomes hard only then will your obvious frustrations become deflated!



 
From General Discussion / Jesus Budda - The Memoirs
Posted 24 Oct 09 13:05
Message

Quote: JohnWolf21

Poor Budda has lost his marbles


Someone nameless stole Jb's thread, I'm pleased!

Marbles in museums are boring too!

 
From Magazine Discussion / The "Peace of Pizza" saga!
Posted 24 Oct 09 13:01
Message

Quote: victor nicholas

Mine had more toppings and offerred free delivery.

Double double-talk.


VC life is just a bunch of double topped quirks

 
From General Discussion / Multiple Personality Disorder
Posted 24 Oct 09 12:53
Message
FLASH TO JO: Due to mail delivery disorder, there will be new measures taken.

Assorted pills, sexual aides, and plutonium cocktails are being smuggled in various body cavities of visiting tourists from Pattaya....

HEALTH ALERT: MAKE SURE YOU WASH YOUR HANDS BEFORE OPENING PACS TO AVOID E-COLI INFECTION, SWALLOW ALL MEDICATION WITH ONE (1) OUNCE OF TEQUILA....WATCH OUT FOR WORM.....

A message from your crack private mail carrier: RECTUM -X.


After just returning from a short break in Berlin I fully understand the words "searching body cavaties" and that was just boarding the plane!

JO

PS: Berlin was terrific, even bought a "under the bridge" apartment along the Spree, blinding views & rats!

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 24 Oct 09 12:49
Message

Quote: Monkey Woods

Yonder or nearby, dependance entirely relevant.


relevant exit leaving entrance vaguely above next trap

 
From General Discussion / Jesus Budda - The Memoirs
Posted 20 Oct 09 15:21
Message

Quote: Jesus Budda

You're not cryptic.
You just have a problem getting your views across in a way that humans can understand.


You've cracked my code, morse at last, JB, you're not the egoistic flounderer I thought you was, 5 across / 2 down!

 
From General Discussion / Multiple Personality Disorder
Posted 20 Oct 09 15:17
Message

Quote: IainB

thnks for yor adcive, i used a sppoonm to open the pakage, sory aboutr aby speling mistales i'm havng to ty[e wuithg my handsbehinbd ny backl.

howevger i dont carw thanks to the meds.

iain


Try using your toes

 
From Magazine Discussion / The "Peace of Pizza" saga!
Posted 20 Oct 09 15:01
Message
There were quite a few "peaces of "pizzas" flying around at the time!

Sorry to hear your's only got 47 hits, mine did slightly better, but not much!

I was just astonished after mine had been printed how many other "peace-a" stories appeared!

That's life, I've just ordered another slice of it!

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 20 Oct 09 13:48
Message

Quote: Jalapenoman

Speciously, Peter expected Cindy's interest or undying, serious lustful yearnings


yearnings equal attributions regarding Nuns in no go sex

 
From Magazine Discussion / The "Peace of Pizza" saga!
Posted 20 Oct 09 13:34
Message
Pizza Originellie!!

 
From General Discussion / Jesus Budda - The Memoirs
Posted 19 Oct 09 18:08
Message
Throw the dog a bone, he might seize up, like the alien bit though!

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 19 Oct 09 17:53
Message

Quote: Jalapenoman

Now Oprah wiggles.


wiggles in golden gowns lurching eastwards speedily

 
From General Discussion / Come In Number Nine
Posted 19 Oct 09 17:47
Message
Hey Granpa Skoob, congrats mate, I have one too, it's lovely, hope they're all fit and well!

JO

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 19 Oct 09 17:41
Message

Quote: Jalapenoman

Yummy underwear makes me yearn


yearn early and reap now

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 19 Oct 09 16:47
Message

Quote: Philbert of Macadamia

Yesterday Elvis sang to everyone, reminiscing dearly about Yesterday!


Yesterday everybody saw tits especially red dangling and yummy!

 
From General Discussion / PMC- The Diary!
Posted 19 Oct 09 14:23
Message

Quote: Pimpmycapitalist

2.55 pm As a man once said "Im not well liked here"

2.56 pm Cya JB,MB,JO,SKOOB.And any others who replied to any questions i had.


It's a pleasure, carry on ol bean!

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 19 Oct 09 14:20
Message

Quote: Jalapenoman

Stranded; the rescue attempt never developed, extending desolation.


desolation exists solely on lonely anthropological terrain in oceans northerly

 
From General Discussion / Multiple Personality Disorder
Posted 19 Oct 09 13:26
Message

Quote: IainB


Quote: Jaggedone

Iain ( alias: "I ain't in") the pills and straightjacket are in the post!


Oh goody, I was beginning to think that they'd sent them to the wrong address.

Phew.

Iain


Normal delivery time is 5 working days but as the post is always striking in the UK, so 5 days longer via Amsterdam. Please Iain keep calm until package arrives and don't use a jagged-edge to open damage is irreversable!

 
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