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From General Discussion / Favourite living people
Posted 23 Sep 09 15:56
Message
There's no point, maybe one day they'll remove their heads from their butts, we hope!

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 23 Sep 09 15:53
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Quote: Jaggedone


Quote: Monkey Woods

Noisily, often in spurts, I like yawning.


yawning awakes nausea in nerds gobbling


Girls in rehab like sex

(or above, choose which one you want!)

 
From General Discussion / Time to come out.
Posted 23 Sep 09 15:51
Message

Quote: Locket

After MWs statement that 'I'm a dead man' I think its time to come clean and let everyone know my name is not Davy Locket and I am not a man. I used to be David but had a sex change in Thailand last year. My real name is Christine Aldous and here is my blog if you don't believe me.

http://christinealdous.blogspot.com/

I am sorry I lied to you all and you can all still call me Davy or Locket or Wanker or even Dead Man. Are there any other sex change writers or am I the only one? Will I be thrown off the site?

Therefore MW when you see me you might not want to buy me a cup of tea or kill me just give me a jolly good shagging becasue I am quite good looking you know.


Jesus, Budda, has so many alias's, I'll believe you only when you show us where the Killing Fileds are!

 
From General Discussion / Points?
Posted 23 Sep 09 15:48
Message

Quote: Locket

Penang as it happens. I will send you the address but instead of a horses head could you send a camels head instead. I like camels much better than smelly old horses.


See Above your locket oh Asian Magician!

 
From General Discussion / Points?
Posted 23 Sep 09 15:47
Message

Quote: Monkey Woods


Quote: Locket

If you come to Cambodia to kill me or to have a cup of tea on Tuesday, it will be a wasted trip because I leave for Malaysia for a holiday on Monday.




Give me the details of where you will be staying, and I'll arrange for a horse's head to be placed at the foot of your bed.


Quote: Locket

We could always meet there though then we could have a cup of tea and then you could kill me. No more need to choose between the one or the other.
That's awfully decent of you, old chap. Yes, that sounds capital. Are you going to Kuala Lumpur or Penang?



Do you take one lump or two?



Locket alias JB has had his slit-eyes made moon shape and will appear on the Spooflywood movie called THE SCHIZOS-SAW- THE BIRDS and went fucking PYSCHO, ying yong (Locket my butt!!!)







 
From General Discussion / Popular songs that you absolutely hate
Posted 23 Sep 09 15:43
Message

Quote: victor nicholas


Quote: Locket


Quote: Monkey Woods

"Definateley"?

Where did you learn these variations?

Try 'definitely', and see how that fits.



No, it's definately spelt definatly at least in my book Propar Speling four all


Defiantly VC received his VC for untold bravery battling the 300 Loonies on the Spoof viking warship, horns an all + Monkey banging his spelling drum and the rest of us in tune, badly like Sir Piff Richard and his religious crappy christmas songs, I hate fucking Christmas, thanks Sir Piff!! Thanks Kirk Douglas and Tony Curtis real Bollywood men!!
Defiantly.


 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 23 Sep 09 15:33
Message

Quote: Monkey Woods

Noisily, often in spurts, I like yawning.


yawning awakes nausea in nerds gobbling

 
From General Discussion / your fav dead persons!
Posted 22 Sep 09 19:42
Message

Quote: Monkey Woods


Quote: Jaggedone



Although Hitler was pretty influential most people only log into his "evil" side!

Autobahns, created work for millions,




Holiday centres for all Germans (pre-Butlins and Pontins), the People's Car, having women tied to the kitchen sink, all very good ideas from Mr Hitler.

As you say, his major stumbling block was those ovens.

And the lampshades and soap, but we don't know that he was aware of all those bits of tinkering, do we?


His future was pretty limited that's for sure, but I'm convinced as a born again Jew, he would have done a fucking good job for Israel!

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 22 Sep 09 19:09
Message

Quote: Philbert of Macadamia

Segments evolve, growing more even natural trends slowly.


slowly lesbians open wombs licking, yowling!

 
From General Discussion / Favourite living people
Posted 22 Sep 09 16:20
Message
You Americans are so obsessed with you're Presidents, THEY'RE JUST FUCKING CORRUPT TOSSERS LIKE THE REST OF THEM!!!

Except Castro, maybe he should have attacked the US, he might have won actually!

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 22 Sep 09 16:17
Message

Quote: Philbert of Macadamia

Sulphur usually leaks pungent halos upon release.


POM, we've crossed pongs!

no prob;

release even lets Evertonians amass sizeable energy

 
From General Discussion / Anyone like bingo, wellington boots and fairy liquid?
Posted 22 Sep 09 16:09
Message

Quote: Locket

Hello everybody. Feeling quite better today and nurse says I don't have to have the electric shock treatment. I thought I would share a story with you all although I know nobody is taking any notice. As you know I said yesterday that I had to go fairy wanking. Well I had already found a few on Wimbledon common when who should I bump into only the king of fairies Gorge Michael, thats who. Obviously I gave him a wank AND a blow job. Got enough fairy cum to clean my teeth for a month especially because I didn't swallow.

Sorry if I came across a bit of an attention seeker in my previous posts but thats because I am.


Jesus Budda, your so pathetic, we can detect you from a million cyber years away!

 
From General Discussion / your fav dead persons!
Posted 22 Sep 09 16:06
Message
I have to admit, for an English man your response has been very civic and polite to my statement on Irish freedom fighting. Sounds fair enough I agree


Good, I wear a kilt sometimes, mainly rock concerts, (going to the bog is a pain!) etc, but always in black, never ever show my colours!

MB, thanks, I'm just passing over a sloshy cyber kiss!!!

Monks, that's a pretty heavy list, love your open mind!

Although Hitler was pretty influential most people only log into his "evil" side!

Autobahns, created work for millions, just went a bit pear shape with his view of the Untermenschen, that's wear I turn off!

One could have dealt with them much better, tied them to his V2's, (just joking BTW!)

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 22 Sep 09 15:55
Message

Quote: Monkey Woods

Dangerous and not generally encouraged. Rays of untreated sulphur.


sulphur usually leaves pongs hours under rainbows

 
From General Discussion / your fav dead persons!
Posted 21 Sep 09 19:34
Message

Quote: JohnWolf21


Quote: Jaggedone


Quote: JohnWolf21

Michael Collins

James Connoly

Joseph Plunkett

PH Pearse

Thomas Mac Donagh

Thomas J Clarke

Sean Mac Diarmada


I'm quite partial to a "Jammy Donaght" now and then!


lol, They were the Irish Founding Fathers or would have been, except for Michail Collins who led the resistance against your evil empire, in the earlier part of the last century.


Thanks for your lesson in Irish history, I'm quite aware of the English abuses, but we are here not to take things quite so seriously!

Hence Jammy Donaght as in Jammy Donut, get it?

BTW this ere Spoofer mate, holds no political or national standings, and what the English did many years ago has been repeated globally before that period and after by nearly every nation including tiny Sri Lanka, etc, so come off of your Rebel high horse and join the fun!

 
From General Discussion / Anyone like bingo, wellington boots and fairy liquid?
Posted 21 Sep 09 18:09
Message
I detect a certain style and form taking place and this LOCKET has rumblings of a certain JB or Jennie on the block!

The TRUTH will all be unLOCKET!

 
From General Discussion / Current Stupid Laws
Posted 21 Sep 09 18:00
Message

Quote: Skoob1999

Doc

Sorry I didn't get the chance to respond to this most excellent post earlier. But something cropped up, and well, you know...

Excellent post.

Loved it.

Regards

Skoob.


Maybe a certain MAN-MAN thing + a mighty Owen?????

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 21 Sep 09 17:58
Message

Quote: Monkey Woods

"More?" Oliver's request exaggerated.


exaggerated x-rays are giant, great epicentres, rarely appreciated, though extremely dangerous!

 
From General Discussion / Do you Like Poles?
Posted 21 Sep 09 17:53
Message

Quote: victor nicholas

North Poles swim in the Baltic


environmental meltdown maybe?

 
From General Discussion / Do you Like Poles?
Posted 20 Sep 09 10:52
Message

Quote: victor nicholas

Is this how they voted in Afghanistan?


VC, corrupt as usual, I loves Poles, when they're in Poland and don't attempt to speak English!

 
From General Discussion / Any F1 fans
Posted 20 Sep 09 10:43
Message

Quote: Jalapenoman

Skoob,

I believe that the Dallas Cowboys currently have a roster of 24 cheerleaders. This brings to mind that there are at least 48 things better about our version of football than yours.

Tonight, I intend to watch Boise State taking on Fresno State for bragging rights in the WAC Conference (unless I go with my son to watch a local high school game). Tomorrow is College Football Saturday. This will be followed by Pro Football Sunday and then Monday Night Football. What a great weekend!


Yanks and footy! Whatever next, high tea with cucumber sandwiches on the lawn!

 
From General Discussion / Almost in the 1,000 mile club
Posted 20 Sep 09 10:41
Message

Quote: Monkey Woods

No, I'm sorry, Vic.


It was a cheap shot. I apologise unreservedly.


Monks, we'll lock you up if you pick on our O-L King!
Bang-kok Hotel has enough rooms free!

 
From General Discussion / What would you charge Emmanuel Adebayor with?
Posted 20 Sep 09 10:39
Message

Quote: birbee


Quote: Jaggedone


Quote: Jalapenoman


Quote: Jaggedone

Rape, and do a Mike Tyson on him!


Bite off his ear?


if necessary, I prefer chewing vaginal pubes!


Has he got a vagina??


Who Mike or Adebayor? They're both PUSSIES!

 
From General Discussion / Current Stupid Laws
Posted 20 Sep 09 10:36
Message

Quote: victor nicholas

It's illegal in Marion, South Carolina, to tickle a female under her chin with a feather duster to get her attention while she's riding a horse.

In New York City, it is illegal to open or close an umbrella in the presence of a horse.

It is illegal to fish from horseback in Washington D.C, Colorado, and Utah.

Tennessee prohibits riders from lassoing fish.

A British law states that an Englishman must not sell a horse to a Scotsman.

Horses are required to wear hats in hot weather in Rasario, Argentina.

A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.

In Guernee, Illinois, it is illegal for women weighing more than 200 pounds to ride horses in shorts.

In Kentucky, it is illegal for a woman to appear in a bathing suit on a highway unless she is: escorted by at least two police officers; armed with a club; or lighter than 90 pounds or heavier than 200 pounds. The ordinance also specifically exempts female horses from such restrictions.

In London, England, law required taxi drivers to carry a bale of hay on top of their caps to feed their horses. The law was in force until 1976.

In Arizona, it is illegal for cowboys to walk through a hotel lobby wearing their spurs.

In Raton, New Mexico, it is illegal for a woman to ride horseback down a public street with a kimono on.

In South Carolina, it is legal for adult males to discharge firearms when approaching an intersection in a non-horse vehicle to warn oncoming horse traffic.

A misworded ordinance in Wolf Point, Montana: "No horse shall be allowed in public without its owner wearing a halter."

In South Carolina, no horses are allowed into Fountain Inn unless they are wearing pants.

In Omega, New Mexico, every woman must "be found to be wearing a corset" when riding a horse in public! A doctor is required to inspect each woman to make sure that she is complying with the law.


Pennsylvania law states: ''Any motorist who sights a team of horses coming toward him must pull well off the road, cover his car with a blanket or canvas that blends with the countryside, and let the horses pass. If the horses appear skittish, the motorist must take his car apart, piece by piece, and hide it under the nearest bushes.''

In Hartsville, Illinois, you can be arrested for riding an ugly horse.

In the state of Queensland, Australia, it is still constitutional law that all pubs (hotel/bar) must have a railing outside for patrons to tie up their horse.

Pattonsburg, Missouri, Revised Ordinances, 1884: "No person shall hallo, shout, bawl, scream, use profane language, dance, sing, whoop, quarrel, or make any unusual noise or sound in such manner as to disturb a horse."

Abilene, Kansas, City Ordinance 349 declares: "Any person who shall in the city of Abilene shoot at a horse with any concealed or unconcealed bean snapper or like article, shall upon conviction, be fined."

Marshalltown, Iowa, it is against the law for a horse to eat a fire hydrant.

I pulled this off the Internet but suppose Buck may have written a story about all of these.


VC, My image of the one-liner King has been demolished, like it all the same 5*

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 20 Sep 09 10:34
Message

Quote: IainB

Slags leave all guys sick

That reminds me, it's time for my next batch of antibiotics.

Iain


antibiotics need time, Iain believes in opportunism to impress crap Spoofer!

 
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