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From General Discussion / Jesus Budda - The Memoirs
Posted 12 Oct 09 17:41
Message
Mrs Skoob just read that. She reckons if any guy crossed you, you'd garotte them with a cheesewire and rip their bollocks off with your bare hands.

You don't take prisoners girl.

Regards
Skoob.


I thought my critisism was both fair and witty. Maybe a tad cruel, but I've said/written far, far worse.

Perhaps I should share a few emails that I've sent to people who've really pissed me off.



MB, I share your views with complete solidarity, in fact I couldn't have writ them better!

JB is an egoistic whinger, searching for attention while cohorting with our fab Monkey Woods on a particular thread which, will remain nameless and very useless.

JB, you can stick your memoirs up your cats butt (with pleasure) and then come back to earth, act like a normal distorted Spoof writer should do and then maybe we can accept you as one of us!

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 12 Oct 09 17:28
Message

Quote: Jalapenoman

Loud offers unusual decibels


decibels = everlasting crescendos infiltrating brains, ears loudly, seducingly!

 
From News Discussion / "Bag of Bones" Found Alongside M5: Coppers Seek Whereabouts of Victoria Beckham!
Posted 11 Oct 09 13:29
Message

Quote: Skoob1999

Fergus was here last night.

Gutted he was. Ireland were beating Italy (World Champions) 2-1 with seconds to go when Italy equalised.

My mum was Irish, as remain half of my family.

I'd love to go to a World Cup finals to support Ireland.

For me Mam and me Nan and me Aunt Molly.

Regards

Skoob.


Who scored the equaliser, Paddi Inzaghi!?

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 11 Oct 09 13:12
Message

Quote: Pimpmycapitalist

yesterday everybody seemed to enjoy rhetoric directed at Yanks!


You ate nuts kicked swiftly


PMP, TOTALLY FUCKING WRONG, "YANKS" IS THE WORD YOU MUST BEGIN WITH!!!

Yanks are nerd kranks slobbering

 
From News Discussion / "Bag of Bones" Found Alongside M5: Coppers Seek Whereabouts of Victoria Beckham!
Posted 11 Oct 09 11:50
Message
Morse love it to death, right up my street, superb, 10* BTW I thought you was a Yank, normally they don't possess such dastardly humour!

Keep it up, and let it shake rattle and roll!

 
From News Discussion / Spoof writers throw rotten apples and scream FIX, FIX, at Herta Mueller, nobel prize winner 2009 for literature!
Posted 11 Oct 09 11:45
Message
Morse for you and the boys, anytime, I've asked the King Albino Rat and my slave WAN-KIN-DIK and they approve!

Can't wait for the banter to begin!




JO: 10 fucking 4....please send Bridge Pass....

Flying Low, At Night, Radar Off

Morphus


Morse I've put the landig lights up, very "RED LIGHTS!" can't miss em and the curtains are open for business!

Tell me what pussy you prefer, black, yellow, pink, caucasian or just plain ol "Double Dutch!"

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 11 Oct 09 10:13
Message

Quote: Pimpmycapitalist

salaciously ate little apricots coated in oil under strasbourg late yesterday!


yesterday everybody seemed to enjoy rhetoric directed at Yanks!

 
From General Discussion / Any Americans Heard of Jack Dee?
Posted 11 Oct 09 10:08
Message
VC knows why I'll put my oar in here!

Jack is one of those comedians who doesn't need props, flashy dress, images or filth (sometimes) he just cracks on about the little things in life which, everybody does! His aura is mega and as soon as he hits the stage the people are falling in the aisles with laughter, naturally brilliant!

It's a fine art to be so minimalistic and move the people so brilliantly!

Class act just like VC's one-lining!

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 9 Oct 09 19:03
Message

Quote: Jesus Budda

Yarns are rubbish, nocturnal stories.


stories teach others real idealogical, exact, shit!

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 9 Oct 09 17:53
Message

Quote: Philbert of Macadamia

Shanghai has a nice German ham available immediately!


immediately means meat eating during innovative acts timed excellently leaving yarns

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 9 Oct 09 14:56
Message

Quote: Philbert of Macadamia

Expertise XI performed everything right, topping international sailing expectations!


expectations = xenophobian plasma engulfing Chinese Towns act terrifyingly in overdoses near Shanghai!

 
From News Discussion / Spoof writers throw rotten apples and scream FIX, FIX, at Herta Mueller, nobel prize winner 2009 for literature!
Posted 9 Oct 09 14:02
Message

Quote: Morse


Quote: Jaggedone

Spoof for the boys and girls, support our "NOBEL" bid for SIR SKOOBSPEARE!!




JO: stay off that Lutefisk....all that lye is going to your brain! 5*

....and I got news for you....save some room under the bridge, we're all goin' be leavin' here soon....can you grant amnesty....?


Morse for you and the boys, anytime, I've asked the King Albino Rat and my slave WAN-KIN-DIK and they approve!

Can't wait for the banter to begin!

 
From News Discussion / Spoof writers throw rotten apples and scream FIX, FIX, at Herta Mueller, nobel prize winner 2009 for literature!
Posted 9 Oct 09 12:18
Message
Spoof for the boys and girls, support our "NOBEL" bid for SIR SKOOBSPEARE!!

 
From General Discussion / Yank Bashing
Posted 8 Oct 09 19:39
Message

Quote: Madame Bitters

If you'd like to see a good example of Texas, watch King of the Hill. It's a fair representation- at least the part of TX I'm from.

I just recently started watching a TV show called My Name is Earl which is now on reruns.

I realized that I sound exactly like Earl's ex-wife, Joy. Especially when I get excited or upset.

I wish I looked like her too.


My condolences

 
From General Discussion / Who Did You Have A Crush On As A Kid?
Posted 8 Oct 09 18:48
Message

Quote: Pimpmycapitalist

LOL that took me a second or 2 to figure out what you meant by that!

Lol, im not jesus!

But Madonna has a bad track record!

Madonna would love me i was born in Malawi!

She would adopt me !!

Regards

PMC


Only prob is, you'd have to share the inheritance with 50 million other Biafran babes!

 
From General Discussion / When Cowboys are mentioned!
Posted 8 Oct 09 18:40
Message
Real cowboys started with Bob Hope in The Paleface, laugh a second!!!

 
From General Discussion / Yank Bashing
Posted 8 Oct 09 18:35
Message

Quote: Morse

Skoob: it's a regional accent type of thing, much like you have in your country.

when we came to SC to look for houses our realtor "Big Bubba" said he was going to 'carry us to lunch"....he was big enough to do it, but I was getting nervous till he explained he was 'takin' us to lunch....

more southern phrases as I get em'...

I've aleady forgotten all my Maine phrases, but they'll come back, as they
were really good ones too..

Lil Bubba,
Morse and Bear 'Dawg' ( Big Bubba also liked Bear, and pronouced his name using 4 sylables....


Morse, please refrain from bastardising our language any further otherwise I'll be forced into spanking your botty!

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 8 Oct 09 18:31
Message

Quote: Jaggedone


Quote: Jesus Budda

necessitated economic culpability, encouraged sustainable sexual irritation that allowed Terrance eat dick.


dick is cunt knowledge!


knowledge, never owning Windows laptops easily downloading Google's expertise!

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 8 Oct 09 18:28
Message

Quote: Jesus Budda

necessitated economic culpability, encouraged sustainable sexual irritation that allowed Terrance eat dick.


dick is cunt knowledge!

 
From General Discussion / British Comedy Shows - For Our American Friends
Posted 8 Oct 09 18:27
Message

Quote: Frankie The J

Skoob fans:

I have, in fact, spoken with Mrs. Skoob by telephone (more often than Skoob knows, too!!!!) and she assures me, that among his faults there is a penis.

Skoob is not gay. He's a sad, sad man who makes cloudy lenses for his wonderful boss.

Not in a gay way,
fej


FJ lately you've being "Gaying" it quite a lot, have you a Homophobia? If yes, I can recommend my shrink, DR. Detlef Bendover!

 
From General Discussion / Alert to fellow credit card holders
Posted 8 Oct 09 18:23
Message
It's the fucking Mafia or Bin Laden!

 
From General Discussion / Who Did You Have A Crush On As A Kid?
Posted 7 Oct 09 19:00
Message

Quote: Pimpmycapitalist

Well perhaps its pathetic and sometimes vulgar! lol

But i reckon i would still screw her!.

Desprate?

Perhaps

LOL

regards

PMC


you're not Jesus!

 
From General Discussion / When Cowboys are mentioned!
Posted 7 Oct 09 18:46
Message

Quote: Pimpmycapitalist

When Cowboys are mentioned what do you think of first?

Here is my list.

Bow legged John Wayne.

Pulp fiction - and its famous gay, kidnap rape scene!

Clint Eastwood.

Broke cock mountain - Heath Ledger.

Regards



Bob Dylan



 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 7 Oct 09 18:44
Message

Quote: Jesus Budda

Nonsense! Onions naturally smell! Even nitwits smell enough!


enough, no, otherwise useless gaffs happen

 
From General Discussion / The Exclusive Jesus Budda/Monkey Woods Acronym Thread
Posted 7 Oct 09 17:55
Message

Quote: Jesus Budda

Shipbuilders have important powers but usually imbibe leftover drink, ├ęclairs, raisin's, skittles.


I prefer anagramming it anyway, hope U 2 have a long and happy life together!

 
208 Pages - «« « 161 162 [163] 164 165 » »»
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