Discussion Forum

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Quote: victor nicholas

. . . or two.

Lifting that mask up and down is a bother though.

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Is it not the veggy version of that other over - reported virus killing more people than Hitler and Nazis did OLE!

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Quote: Jalapenoman

Sauce always uses cracked eggs.

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Eggs Gooey Ghastly Soft

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Quote: Skoob1999

Too much information JO

Regards

Skoob

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Ok I'll keep your secret safe.
Why Nani when you've got Teves? baffles me Skoob

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Quote: Skoob1999

Far from it Earl.

If I did anything like that, Mrs Skoob would chop it off!

Regards

Skoob

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I detect a certain Skooby ducking an diving to avoid the true nature of his cyber travels across the backsides of adult censored sights.
I once played volleyball at a nudist camp, was roughly 17 at the time. Every time our female opponent jumped at the net a certain part of my body beacme embarrassingly stiff, but she just smirked.

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Quote: queen mudder

Pigs might fly!

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Pink Floyd proved that point!

Earl of Grey, you're absolutely correct, it was a dark part of my association with a club in the North West and I have actually, with help from Krishnamurti, obliviated that era out of my very inactive grey cells. There was also an even darker period which caused major irritations for those who had pledged their footy love to the same club, a Scottish twat, who was named after that infamous cartoon serial figure called Top Cat = TOPmy DoCATi. Krishnamurti and my "Muy Pobre" self are still working on the case, rather more "VOIDS" required!

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Quote: Earl Grey

At our school we had Brother McGeady.

We called him "Bullshit Bill". He claimed to be good friends with Pele and Dave Sexton. Possibly the only time those two have been associated together.

Bullshit Bill also claimed to be good friends with the Pope.

However Bullshit Bill ended up being arrested during a raid at the parish house which uncovered certain photos etc.

I wonder if Pele and Dave ever visited him in prison.

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Obviously this happened way before the days of paedophile rings (not anal by the way!) on the internet , Earl showing his very ancient (back) side.

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Quote: Monkey Woods

This was a great band as well!

Was/is? Was (not is)?

Update needed on current status of Was (Not Was).

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Knew of a band called WASp, or WAS fucking useless alias The Pet Shop Boys or even WAS-hed up Amy WAS-house alias, reincarnated Billie Holiday, heroin an all, WAS that what you WAS looking for?

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Quote: Monkey Woods

Mine would be 'Do They Owe Us A Living?' by Crass.

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Great band Crass, you do have taste, live still on their ideals, great people!!
Plenty of ditties come to mind; Bend me Shape me (no way mother fuckers!)Dave Dee and his morons, forgot the rest of them, Titch, Dozy, Beeky I believe were in there somewhere!

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Quote: Earl Grey

I think it is "very interesting" (as the shrink would say) to look at the effect punishment had in later life. On that program one old nut was calling for children to be beaten. He was shouting down all his opponents and was talking utter crap.

He was then asked if he had ever been beaten as a child. Frequently was the answer.

QED.

There were some real bastards teaching at my school. And that was just the priests. The lay members of staff were even worse. Particularly the PE department. Fuckers.

My brother is a head teacher. He always wanted to be a teacher. Then he always wanted to be a head teacher. Now I think he'd like to be something else.

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Talking of bent Priests, we had a very gay chappy, Reverand Mc Cann as far as I recollect, who loved short-cutting it through the boys showers after PE, invited boys round to the vicarage to light his candles and extra RE (rear end) lessons. Was caught fiddling once and was sent to Boston, UK, out in the sticks to redeem the cabbage pickers. True story by the way, no bullshit! JO (never lit a candle in my life!)

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Quote: Jalapenoman

Deafening elephant anguish feels enourmously nagging, I'm now groaning!

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Groaning Rich, Otherwise Artistocrats Noble Incest Never Goes!

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Quote: Jalapenoman

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Quote: Monkey Woods

Loopholes - ordinarily office policework has often let examples slip.

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Slip like icy pickles

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Pickles In Cunts Know Latest Evolutionary Secrets

Tails of Pirates, how long does it take pirates to throw their worthless captured Oil Tanker captains to the sharks matee, aargh?
I once knew a one - legged, one - eyed, tail-less (his parrot had one to compensate the loss) pirate. I recollect his name being Johnny Depp alias Keith Richards speaking puppet, "on your knees mother fucker" don't dare repeat the secret of those very boring epic Long Toothed Tails called Pirates of the Carribbean and please throw Johnny to the awaiting white sharks.

Die Hard Skoob we must face reality, Sir Alex couldn't be bovvered, that's the bottom line.

If he really had wanted to win he would have at least played his second string and certainly not his third string (ok Ferdi and Vidic played).
I feel really sad, not for Utd but for all of those paying Utd punters who wanted their team to go the FA cup final.
In my days, Utd v Southampton, Utd v Liverpool, Utd v Arsenal, Utd v Crystal Palace it was the Holy Grail, now its third priority for the Reds.
Good luck Everton, you deserve the day out, and this was another massive blow to my confidence about modern day footy, mega - bucks and non - Champions league, fans ripped off and false identity from the players as long as their earning mega salaries. Peeeed Off JO

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Quote: Monkey Woods

No, sorry. First word has to be typical.

Why can't you understand this, JO?

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Typical Young Policemen Instigate Chaos And Loopholes
F..K me whatever next Dumbo JO!

Living here on the Dutch/German border we enjoy the frivolities from both sides, German Pizza restaurants are the best on the planet, run by Italiens of course, Dutch Chinese restaurants are second to none run by guess who, Chinese of course.
Hence the national specialities mentioned, they don't hardly count these days, most of us enjoy multi - culti food and the national dishes tend to rot in the pantry.
Apart from fried Espanol cohones from a raging bull with a high pitched voice, not to be missed!

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Quote: Monkey Woods

Midnight in Denver, noon in Georgia - how typical!

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Thousand Young Policemen Instigate Chaos And Loopholes

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Quote: Skoob1999

I once got whacked on the arse with a blackboard compass, and the bolt bit hit me on the cocyx so I lost my rag, had a go at the teacher and had to be physically restrained by classmates.

We had another teacher who would periodically swing younger pupils from a 4th floor window by their knees.

They'd never get away with that sort of thing now.

I hated school.

Regards

Skoob

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Skoob it is obvious this thread has opened a can of worms and all participants here are abused, misused, discarded, childbeaten, suspended, rebellious ol fart toe rags, hence the superb entertainment value on offer, better than Fools and Horses any day (Del Boy another one of us!) Ouch Mummy put that f..king stick down!

Berbatov, was drugged by ex - whore who Roon frequented before he could wank, the grass was to long, the sky was to Evertonian Blue and the whole boring freak show ended like it deserved, a whole load of nothing, feel sorry for the paying supporters though, what a load of crap!!!!! Mon Dieu where are you!!!

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Quote: Earl Grey

Indeed you are right.

If the two were combined as punishment then it could be really nasty.

Beaten by the geography master. Then keel hauled by the Head of Maths.

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Earl your Greyey/black humour tickles my very sensitive feet, slightly corny - ed and blistered after running to catch that f..king bus leaving the Tate Urinal extravaganza.
Corporal or Capital they're both corrupt and deserve the same levels of punishment issued by Jamie Oliver (new head of the National, Anti - Obese, Slimlined down to Eradicate Fat F..king Schoolkids, Corporate Ministry, run by those oh so Fatcats and Mr.Oliver, you know, mate, like). Main objective is to apply major corporal punishment on obese, fatties by giving them vegetables for dinner and erecting barb wire fences with border controls a lá Belfast, to stop them exiting the school premises and bee - lining for the local, greasy Fish and Ching shop!

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Quote: Earl Grey

Not John.

But laughing at a German editor? Have done that before.

Plimsoll. I like that word. It has all the innocence. Before the trainer and designer gear kicks in.

Plimsoll was for primary school.

Alas now no more.

Could this be part of why discipline is breaking down?

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Is Plimsoll also a line for measuring depths or something?
The grey cells wither at my age and I am starting to put cups of hot soup in the fridge, certainly a lack of juvenile discipline there, with or without the plimsolls on.

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Quote: BuckwheatsButt

I think about sex all the time and at times I'm so hot I smoke!
Just thinking about all that gooey cake batter on Madame's hands and the light dusting of flour on her face like a 18th century French aristocrat makes my pecker react like it's listening to the Star Spankled Banner!
Tell me about the jelly donuts please.........And go into graphic details!

BuCK

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You have obvious fetish problems, seek advice at www.blackleathershinybootsvenusinfursatthevelvetunderground.cum, good luck

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Quote: Earl Grey

The argument or the show was about whether the cane should be brought back or not.

But geography teachers are smart. Don't use the cane. Use an item of footwear. Do we ban the plimsoll? And the ruler?

If a teacher is sick and twisted enough they will find a way to inflict pain.

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I forgot that word Plimsoll, superb cuppa Earl soup (another story!) You would'nt happen to be John from No Limited Publications would you? He was just as nifty as you, we had a great time laughing at our German Editor!

More horrorstories pertaining to punishment in schools, we had a geography teacher called Mr.Porteus, he had a special training shoe (rubber slipper in them days), naughty chappies would be bent over his desk whilst he retreated to the back of the classroom, he then sprinted forward with max velocity whacking the boy's posterior as he passed the desk (no joking, serious), I once had the pleasure. Rulers across the knuckles was normal for this very disjointed, Jaggedone on and over the edge, stroppy bastard!JO ouch!

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Quote: Skoob1999

Fergus, ya big loveable gobshite,

I was on about London.

Try this on for size (all true by the way)

Nou Camp, Barcelona
Olympic Stadium Barcelona
Olympic Stadium Rome
Olympic Stadium Munich
Brunton Park, Carlisle
Bloomfield Road Blackpool
Turf Moor Burnley
Ewood Park Blackburn
Anfield Road Liverpool
Goodison Park Everton
Maine Road Manchester
Old Trafford once or twice
Elland Road Leeds
Leeds Road Huddersfield
Hillsborough Sheffield
Baseball Ground Derby
City Ground Nottingham
Filbert Street Leicester
Molineux Wolverhampton
Portman Road Ipswich
Dean Court Bournemouth
Whatever they call it Grimsby
Ninian park Cardiff
Fratton Park Portsmouth
The Dell Southampton

There are others.

Regards

Skoob

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tut, tut, tut, Skoob, Main Rd, Mosside at night wrong colour, right team if you happen to be a loser!