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From News Discussion / Local Man Says "Sod James Corden - I'm Having A Shave"
Posted 18 Jun 10 17:15
re the game though, I too am slightly jittery. But having been through this a few times now it's par for the course - we always make a meal of the group stage.

Anyway, I'm off and do a bit a of deep breathing before the build up starts, but will probably be back later.

Let's all just hope...

From News Discussion / Local Man Says "Sod James Corden - I'm Having A Shave"
Posted 18 Jun 10 17:05
Ooup - missed the dissing there for a minute!

To be honest CJ, I was getting quite fond of Skoob when I thought he was a pudgy little raincoated man with a floppy hat. But now he has changed his avatar I'm quite frightened.

From now on I will only ever award him 3 stars and say his stories are 'fine'.

From News Discussion / Local Man Says "Sod James Corden - I'm Having A Shave"
Posted 18 Jun 10 16:24
Classic Skoob Story!

I have tried to write some like these but they're never as good. Best I did was '50 Year Old Man Refused Wine in Tescos Because He Had No Idea' which I was quite pleased with, but still didn't get that trademark Skoob feel. And I've seen other writers give it a go too, but nobody gets it quite right.

Keep on writing 'em Skoob! 5*

All the best

From News Discussion / 'Killer Comet' tracking telescope destroyed
Posted 18 Jun 10 14:59
Thank you Mr or Mrs Cheese.

I wasn't sure if people would get it or not.

All the best

From General Discussion / Two Word Stories
Posted 17 Jun 10 11:21
same difference

From General Discussion / Two Word Stories
Posted 16 Jun 10 22:21
A teacher once told be a two-word story about fleas:

Adam 'ad'em

From News Discussion / Article Commits Suicide
Posted 16 Jun 10 12:06

Quote: Midgy

yep - that's exactly what I did too.

'course, you didn't mean me - I hardly ever get in the top 20. Oh, you did. Bugger.

Good story. 5*

From General Discussion / World Cup Predictor
Posted 16 Jun 10 09:21
Why limit it to results? What about spread betting like they advertise at half time. My predictions are:

First Vuvuzela thrown at a player -
South Africa v. Uruguay 76th minute

Coin toss in Spain v. Switzerland -

First player to puke in the tunnel -
Georgie Welcome, Honduras

Highest scoring dive of the competition, 1st week -
Daniele De Rossi - scores: 7 8 7 7 9
see it here

From News Discussion / 'Miley Cyrus Vagina Now More Popular Than Britney Spears Vagina' Story Now EXTREMELY Popular
Posted 16 Jun 10 08:52

Quote: Colonel Juan
I'm a big .. huge .. Monkey Woods fan
so I know pretty well where he's coming from here.
Monkey is probably the wittiest writer on this site. Or one of the wittiest..
But on my witometer, this is nowhere near up with his best..
He knows that..
However, Erskin's right.
It certainly IS terific parody..
And this little fanny bubble is making me grin as well....

But parody of what? And of who?

Looking at this morning's Top 6 Spoofs

I actually think the joke's on US....

Think on..


I totally agree. But what concerns me is that if writers on here are enticed into creating articles with titillating keywords to get increased exposure, how many 'real' journos are doing the same? Mark needs all those click-throughs from Google to pay for the site, but so do all the 'proper' newspaper and magazine sites. How long before we get 'worlds biggest penis' stories on TimesOnline or

My opinion is that Monkey Woods can write very funny articles very well, which also tick all the boxes for getting loads of hits. But the external hits just come from the headline - so some other writers are delivering rubbish articles with just a headline designed to get hits. And the main problem with that is that people outside the Spoof start to think all Spoof articles are rubbish and stop clicking through.

Maybe some spoof writers are destined to write Google-fodder and some to write great content. And a few, like Monkey Woods and some of the other big hitters on here, can achieve both.

Or maybe this is all rubbish. Anyway, all the best -

From News Discussion / Having Lady Gaga For a Sister Turns Sister into a Sister
Posted 15 Jun 10 22:23

Quote: Charpa93

Quote: Erskin Quint
I like this. It's funny and well-structured. Lots of verisimilitude adding to its strength. One of the best nun stories about, actually.*****

Thank you Erskin. Actually I hadn't entered it in the nuns contest because it wasn't really about the picture.
Oh, and I had to look verisimilitude up.
I'm staying on this website just to improve my vocabulary through you, sir.

I agree - well worth entering.

From News Discussion / The Word in Rustenburg, South Africa is That World Cup Player Ashley Cole Has Dated Each One of The Members of The All-Girl Band, The Saturdays
Posted 15 Jun 10 14:20
Liked this Abel - 5*

Given the oportunity, I'd lie in bed on Saturdays.

From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 15 Jun 10 12:47
Humiliation: underneath my industrial leather I am trussed in off-white nylon

From News Discussion / ITV Prefer A Hyundai Ad To Steven Gerrard's World Cup Goal
Posted 13 Jun 10 21:42
Liked this (5*) - and had already done one a bit similar:

ITV HD viewers still think the USA won

For anyone who didn't see it, this is what ITV HD viewers got...

ITV HD clip - England's first goal in the World Cup - or not

From General Discussion / The story's mundane, but the picture's great
Posted 13 Jun 10 13:16

Regarding: Mark Lowton's picture

Do you think this guy ever said to himself 'looking like this, what sort of job should I have?' or did he cultivate the look - 'well Mr barber, I'd like something that says Mad Professor'.

From General Discussion / Oh great - now Google is slower so we all get pretty pictures
Posted 12 Jun 10 20:31
Ah yes - I was talking about the default images that Google put up for a couple of days - I guess if you selected your own then you wouldn't get the default ones. If they don't come back after the World Cup I think it was to publicise the image facility.

From General Discussion / Oh great - now Google is slower so we all get pretty pictures
Posted 12 Jun 10 19:32
Yeah - they backed down - Spoof Power!

Actually, I think they wanted to put up their World Cup series of Doodles - maybe the murals will be back in a couple of weeks.

From General Discussion / Oh great - now Google is slower so we all get pretty pictures
Posted 10 Jun 10 10:58
Used Google today?

I wrote an article yesterday about the new Google backgrounds feature, but at that time it wasn't compulsory.

Now it seems you get pictures unless you sign in and switch them off.

I liked simple. I liked quick. I liked all that white space. Just because you can have a huge flashy coloured background picture doesn't mean you have to have it. Especially if it adds to web congestion, slows down Google's servers and makes it hard to read the text on the screen.

Anyway, rant over.

From News Discussion / Car Boot Sale A Bit Of A Let Down
Posted 3 Jun 10 22:45
Usual rubbish from Skoob - only 5 stars for this one I'm afraid.


From Magazine Discussion / "Below Decks" - Chapter One: Prelude to Battle
Posted 26 May 10 23:37
Ah, thank you Cap'n - that has cleared it up. Shame there's bits missing - I thought it was pretty good considering.

If there's no chance of getting the missing chapters back, maybe J-man could edit the link to go to chapter 4? And what if you changed the link in Chapter 11 to go to 13 as 12 seems to be missing?

I dunno, I can't even find half of the chapters any more. Anyone kept a copy of it all?


From Magazine Discussion / "Below Decks" - Chapter One: Prelude to Battle
Posted 26 May 10 23:08
I'm really confused now - but maybe I missed something when I wasn't paying attention for the last few months.

Chapter One links on to Chapter Two which I thought was written by J-Man, but now comes up as Throckmorton Turdblossom - which I imagine could be the name of a plum, or whatever it's called. But then the link on to Chapter Three just comes up with the Magazine top page. So has Chapter Three gone? Who's was it?

All confused

From News Discussion / A Sad Day As Ray Alan Dies - Lord Charles Vows To Go On
Posted 26 May 10 21:02
I met hime once too - and I had the same slight discomfort when I did a snippet about it.
( RIP Ventriloquist Ray Alan - Gone to a getter clace )

Anyway, we meant well, and I don't think he would have dissapproved.

Good story Skoob!

From Magazine Discussion / "Below Decks" - Chapter One: Prelude to Battle
Posted 24 May 10 21:55
mmm, Chapter Three seems to have sunk without trace...

From News Discussion / An Audience With Michael Buble Singing Like A Dalek
Posted 24 May 10 20:30
Thanks Skoob.

I actually like him a lot but I can't for the life of me understand why he thinks it necessary to use the Autotune all the time and have it so prominent. I know some people don't seem to notice the effect, but it drives me bonkers.

The story has done well though - probably loads of irate Buble fans clicking through off Google so they can shout at the story. Expect I'll get the Tursemobile keyed before the week is out.

All the best

From General Discussion / Cor blimey guvnor, it ain't half hot mum!
Posted 22 May 10 21:05
The Sun says:

What a Scorcher!

and it should know

From General Discussion / WORD GAME
Posted 22 May 10 21:01
scurvy, dozy, beaky, mick and titch

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Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

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