Discussion Forum

Mmm . . Marmite
I wrote this a while back:Marmite story
Then I was contacted by someone writing a book about Marmite and wanting to include it. Last I heard it was going ahead, but I haven't heard anything lately.

If it's hard to describe Marmite, what about Twigglets?

All the Best
Roy

Hot day. Outdoors. Tall chilled glass beaded with condensation. Ice. Big squeeze of lime juice. Big glug of Gin. Tonic to the top. Chunk of lime. Bowl of salted cashew nuts on the side. Comfy chair. Sound of someone using a push mower two houses away. Scent of cut grass. No wasps. No phones. Light breeze.

Cold fingertips, clink of ice, first sip...

Seen this? It's a good spoof about the Euro elections from YouTube. (Contains offensive language)

YouTube BrownFall

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Quote: queen mudder

She's having you followed?

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Yes well she has to - I don't have the coded DNA and transponder. Actually, we spend all our time together so following is not necessary.

I hope J-man realises this thread started as 'an homage' (pretentious?) to his continued contributions to the spoof. And of course all the other writers like you qm and of course liam-1959 who is becoming extremely famous now Mark!

Anyway - got to go - beauty sleep and all that
All the best
Roy

That's very - practical.

Why not a Diffie-Hellman coded interference patern applied straight into the DNA, plus a subcuticle transponder for location purposes?

That works with my wife.

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Quote: queen mudder
WTF?

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Well it's the World Taekwondo Federation of course.

Hey qm - hope you saw your name check:
n a m e c h e c k

All the very best everyone
Roy

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Quote: Jalapenoman
Happy New Year to all!!!

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Thank you.

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Quote: Monkey Woods

You don't mean 'gear', do you?

You know, like 'gear' gear.

You mean building shit, don't you? Like tools and shit.


I've just realised, I've missed Ashes To Ashes.


So, now I miss Carina, and I've missed Ashes To Ashes.

Great!

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Hey monkey - I taped it - I could put the jist of it up here, and add in the sound of a Quatro doing very unlikely doughnuts. (If you bought a Quatro you'd be pretty annoyed if it couldn't get its rubber down - as I believe they used to say). See if you can get it on demand or something - then get back to me.
All the best - Roy.

Smell my Erysimum,like lavender

sorry - just been reading about the Chelsea Flower Show - please feel free to go back to knob jokes..

Roots of olive trees smell

Water around twilight, especially roots

Yellow Euphorbia Like Lots Of Water

My favourite school punishment is suspension. It's a bit like saying to an adult 'You are no good at your job, so to teach you a lesson take two weeks extra holiday.'

It's not like the old days. There's nothing like ritualised beatings and buggery to build character in young boys living away from home.

Thank you sir, and may I have another? as they used to say just before going to Sandhurst or inventing Rugby.

All the Best
Roy

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Quote: Skoob1999
Re Links
I'm on Windows Vista. It makes it incredibly complex. I was fine with XP but Vista just ties me up in knots.
Regards
Skoob

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Hi Skoob - Didn't see this thread - sent you what works for me on the other one where you tried to do links.
its here
Cheers
Roy

Hi Mr & Mrs Skoob,

Not sure how you did the link, but you can't just paste it in. The link thing is different depending on your browser.

If you use Internet Explorer you can usually do it like this.

1 Go to the page you want to link to. Select the address from the box at the top of the screen by clicking on it once. Now right click on it and click on COPY.

2 Now go into the Add new message page in theSpoof. Click on the Link button at the top of the message box.

3 You will probably get a message at the top saying 'This website is using a scripted window...' and a pop-up box saying 'OK or Cancel' - Press CANCEL.

4 Now click on the top message (this window is using a scripted window...) and click on TEMPORARILY ALLOW SCRIPTED WINDOWS.

5 Now click on link again and this time it will work.

6 It will ask you for the URL. Right click on the box and click on PASTE. The address should appear in the box. Click OK.

7 Now it will ask for the text - just type in what you want it to say in the text and click OK.

8 Finally it asks whether you want it to open a new window or not - choose what's most suitable - probably a new window - and click OK.

9 Shazzam - it sticks the code into your message.

I know it sounds like loads of work, but once you get it to work it becomes second nature. The first bit is to get around the Browser's security for this link without making the system insecure.

Hope this helps
All the best
Roy.

For those who may have missed it:
Tools Story

Mr Woods,
Are you really interested in women who are plenty offish?
I know plenty of offish women already.
Kind Regards
Roy

hooray I got it right. OK so it was after you said, but it was still before anyone else. hooray.

night night everyone.

night night Skoob.

All the very best.
Roy

is the answer 'recipe for disaster'?

I'd like to say Thanking-you.

Or maybe even Thanking-you Squire.

I don't think these terms are used often enough.

Thanking - well you know
Roy

Mmm - I did try to explain...
story

So - it's just all of me... and you.
Roy et al

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Quote: Mark Lowton

One thing I would like to eat is this.

One day, one day.

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Yeah I agree Mark. Those guys didn't look like they were trying - I mean sharing! And picking at it daintily. I'm glad to see the guy on the left had his hair cut specially for the day - maybe by someone overweight. And it's nice to see Wolverine using cutlery for once.

Well done on your weight loss - hard work isn't it - particularly in a sedentary job. Hey that gives me an idea for a story...

All the best
Roy

Hi chaps,

Mine were 1347 for chapter 7 and 2612 for chapter 16, so 3959 in total. But that probably includes the links to previous episodes etc.

Good luck with the finale, Cap'n, and thanks to you & Skoob for setting this up and everyone who contributed. I suppose now I won't have an excuse for my breakfast bottle of rum anymore.

YoHoHo
Roy

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Quote: Morse

Now hear this:

Chapter 18 is up an scrolling in :the pirate story forum section!

Morse.

Somebody step up, Ferg, Birbee?
Welcome Mrs. K., suggest you get a few more chapters under your belt(fergus will check that out) and then join in!

Morse

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Another excellent chapter Cap'n. Interestingly, when displaying your story, Google ads tried to make sense of it to determine what to advertise. It went with:

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A World Of Wings
Exotic Bird Training Specialist Ultimate Free Flying Expereience

This is for Gay Men Only
Gay phone chat. Chat to real men

Club Med Sailing Ship

Seafarers Tax Claim
At sea for more than 183 days ? Claim all of your tax back now.

Bird or Parrot Insurance

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So, pretty good interpretation of your story then!
Regards
Roy

Thanks! Happy Ver.. Oh bugger - missed it.