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From News Discussion / Marmite and Whitebread - a new detective series
Posted 1 Mar 12 23:06
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Very kind of you all. I wasn't sure if I'd get away with the trademark infringement but that's where the idea started so I stuck with it.

The only trouble is, one of my favourite snacks now conjurs up a completely new and inappropriate image.

One could even call it unsavoury...

 
From General Discussion / Why should Birbee stop lurking and start showing??
Posted 29 Feb 12 23:23
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I'd seen the others last night, and then I just had a really great time going through those last ones. Brilliant.

Red Onion gave me an idea - what about capturing a freshly cut chilli pepper - when the flesh weeps slightly? I think it could make my eyes water and my taste buds perk up just to see that done Birbee style.

Thanks for sharing these with us.
Roy

 
From General Discussion / Why should Birbee stop lurking and start showing??
Posted 29 Feb 12 00:49
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Hey Birbee,
If you undo the lens off the front and shake your camera out, it'll just fly away. Then you can get back to taking proper Facebook pictures - high wide-angle shots of pairs of drunk people pretending to lick each other's faces.

Lovely shot though - reminds me of a young Jeff Goldblum

All the best
Roy


 
From News Discussion / Android Ice Cream Sandwich to feature Lick-to-Unlock
Posted 23 Feb 12 01:58
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Thank you for your very kind comments.

Give me peer acknowledgement over points every time (he says as he plummets down the chart and back into oblivion).

All the best
Roy

 
From News Discussion / Sky One to launch 'Louie Spence on Gangs'
Posted 22 Feb 12 12:57
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I'm laughing at this again having read it a few times before. I had another read of it after seeing Louie Spence on the Brits.

 
From News Discussion / Charity street fundraiser told to 'Fuck off' for record 100,000th time
Posted 17 Feb 12 23:01
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oops - quoted you twice in a row Lynton - but when I read this in approvals I thought it was a Skoob story to start with. Good story.


Quote: Lynton

Twas super idea and well treated. It reminded me of skoob's style a bit. Could even get picked up by a paper given that the web versions of most papers seem to be written by thicko interns. Liked it v much


 
From News Discussion / Contrary To Popular Belief, Misery Actually Prefers Its Solitude
Posted 17 Feb 12 22:58
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I agree Lynton, but that was one of the things I liked about it. You start reading, it's not clear, and then part way through it all clicks. Don't know if it was planned like that, but it worked for me. The slow reveal is something I have tried in quite a few stories and in some of them I'm pretty sure people get to the end not having realise what it's about at all, so when it works I'm impressed.

Quote: Lynton

The dialogue could be clearer perhaps because it isn't obvious from the start that misery is anthropomorphised. That only becomes clear a little later.

The idea was good, anthropomorphism applied to an abstract concept is a bit of a challenge.



 
From News Discussion / Squaddie Runs Amok In Government Think Tank
Posted 16 Feb 12 22:58
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Excellent mashup of two familiar concepts into one completely off-the-wall story. Brilliant.

 
From News Discussion / Woman named "London's Worst Cyclist"
Posted 16 Feb 12 19:22
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me too - nice one.

 
From General Discussion / saw this on facebook today ...
Posted 15 Feb 12 23:31
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A friend of a friend posted it and I though they must have taken the photo, but then I saw it again posted by someone else with a slightly different version of the text so I guess its doing the rounds.

 
From General Discussion / saw this on facebook today ...
Posted 15 Feb 12 21:40
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From News Discussion / Sean Penn joins Argentine army and swears he'll take the Falklands single-handed!
Posted 15 Feb 12 00:39
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Sorry, I should say that I thought this was a good story too.

 
From News Discussion / Sean Penn joins Argentine army and swears he'll take the Falklands single-handed!
Posted 15 Feb 12 00:29
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I saw this on the news.

The most important thing is that Mr Penn is allowed to use his well-earned priviledged position to comment on this issue without fear of retribution. He has the option to say what he believes about this complex diplomatic situation and can do so without worrying about the historical and political status of the area or what the people who live there think. I'm sure he is convinced that he is speaking out with the highest possible motives.


Tosser.

 
From General Discussion / Will YOU Be Our Valentine?
Posted 14 Feb 12 23:56
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Quote: Roy Turse

My wife and I have been married for over 25 years.

We are at the stage where we considered buying each other a card for £3 a pop - then decided that instead, for an extra £4, we can get a Sainsbury's Valentine Meal for Two - including a bottle of Cava.

More practical than romantic, perhaps, but food & wine trumps sentimental schmaltz in my book.


And I got her a card anyway.


Well it turned out Sainsbury's had sold out of the meal deal, and Tescos and Waitrose had sold out of theirs. My plans were in tatters!

We ended up spending far more on a meal for two than we expected (although it turned out it was pretty good).

I was also rather glad I had got that card.

But if Valentines Day was that good, how come I'm writing this massage one here now?

 
From General Discussion / Will YOU Be Our Valentine?
Posted 14 Feb 12 18:26
Message
My wife and I have been married for over 25 years.

We are at the stage where we considered buying each other a card for £3 a pop - then decided that instead, for an extra £4, we can get a Sainsbury's Valentine Meal for Two - including a bottle of Cava.

More practical than romantic, perhaps, but food & wine trumps sentimental schmaltz in my book.


And I got her a card anyway.

 
From General Discussion / Will YOU Be Our Valentine?
Posted 14 Feb 12 15:30
Message
Ah Mr Scrooge,

You are so right about these Valentine's Day messages.

Merry St Valentines, one and all

Roy.


Quote: Gail Farrelly

Why, oh why, did you have to give us those links to a bunch of Bad Romance stories?

It's sad that your writers are a bunch of malcontents who have nothing to celebrate on Valentine's Day. But why do you have to share the misery?

Yours truly,
Ebenezer Scrooge


 
From News Discussion / Pregnant? There's an app for that
Posted 12 Feb 12 19:18
Message
sorry -
http://www.trademarkia.com/theres-an-app-for-that-77980556.html

Quote: IainB

If Sesame Street can get away with There's an App For That, then I'm POSITIVE it's not trademarked in any way...

There's an App For That

Iain


 
From General Discussion / My Great-Grandfather
Posted 11 Feb 12 23:50
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I'm willing to be proven wrong, but I really don't believe anything is likely to top these two brilliant throw-away comments. Now I remember why I keep coming back to the forums.

In awe
Roy

 
From News Discussion / Pregnant? There's an app for that
Posted 11 Feb 12 15:50
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I agree with the others - it's a great concept for a book. I guess you'd need to be a bit careful about trademark/copyright infringement, but that always seems to be a surmountable issue.

It would then be down to how quickly it could be done - it would need to hit the wave of interest in the subject and get published before Apple decide to rebrand apps as
'i-noggins' or something so they own the name.

It sounds like something there would be commercial interest in to me.

Good luck with it if you do decide to take it further.

Roy

 
From News Discussion / Congress Strikes Back: Gives Taxpayers a 4% Approval Rating
Posted 10 Feb 12 13:00
Message
This was my favourite story from approvals over the last few days. And they've run the Capital One ads in the UK so I got that bit too. Great story.

 
From News Discussion / Simon Cowell brought in to approve new Spoofs
Posted 8 Feb 12 19:18
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Ah, but what if not following the guidelines is the joke?


Quote: Ellie James

Even if people don't get the joke, it should still be sent through. I will approve things even if I "don't get it" as long as it follows all other guidelines.

Ellie


 
From News Discussion / Simon Cowell brought in to approve new Spoofs
Posted 8 Feb 12 18:33
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Having seen IainB and Skoobs stories, I wondered if there might be another way round the problem?

The only trouble is, if people don't get the joke it will never get out of approvals, so I may well have been hung by my own petard. Which is a bit difficult, because I think a petard was a small bomb; dangerous maybe, but unlikely to hang anyone.

 
From Magazine Discussion / The Next Level
Posted 4 Feb 12 23:13
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Thank you. No, just made it up.

I'm actually quite touched that you (or anyone) would read it all the way through as there are no jokes and it's a bit of a 1000 word slow burner.

Thanks again
Roy

 
From Magazine Discussion / All Sent Items: To Katie1988 From SteveTheMan
Posted 28 Jan 12 17:36
Message
Thanks chaps, I appreciate the comments.

Bit weird though - this story suddenly went mad - 6000 reads which makes it my most read story by far. And for one in the magazine section where I mostly get 12 reads on the first day, it's even weirder-er.

It'll probably turn out to be a technical fault and Mark will take all my points away and say I owe him £50 like last time.

All the best
Roy

 
From News Discussion / Kaiser Chiefs: We knew this was going to happen
Posted 12 Aug 11 08:07
Message
Thanks, chaps.

Erskin - I think you need to make a swift apology.

All the best
Roy

 
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Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

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