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From General Discussion / Have We Run Out of Over-Size Body Parts?
Posted 3 Oct 09 10:48
Message

Quote: Madame Bitters

I just did a story on a man with the world's longest pinkie fingernail.

Lord only knows when it will be up though.


Yeah.. I see it on my hot button I got fer ya, it goes like this gents, if I may quote the lady:

Carson City, NV: It's been said that you can pick your friends and that you can pick your nose-- but that you can't pick your friend's nose.

 
From General Discussion / Have We Run Out of Over-Size Body Parts?
Posted 3 Oct 09 08:04
Message

Quote: Aspartame Boy


Quote: Morse


Quote: victor nicholas

Just wondering where Buck went to.

If he's not using them they must be piling up somewhere.




....already sold out on E-bay.....


You mean he sold those silly stories of his for cash???


I can just imagine it.

"Used spoofy stories for sale, or should I say poofy, written my me. Oh, did I mention my name is BuckwheatsBUTT?

Surely you can see the great value of these stories! I read read them myself, over a million times!"

I just read about him:

Buckwheat's BUTT destitute, selling used stories on ERAY

 
From General Discussion / Have We Run Out of Over-Size Body Parts?
Posted 3 Oct 09 07:43
Message

Quote: Jalapenoman

I just wrote a story on "The Man with the world's most infected and pussiest ingrown toenail." When I clicked on publish, the site suddenly told me that I had to register as a writer before I could submit stories (I was already logged in).

Sometimes I hate computers.

The story was over 600 words and had many of the regular writers listed.

I may or may not try to recreate the story tomorrow. Right now I'm just pissed off.


Hi.. uh, I suggest using a text editor off line, so you can back up your work. Then, just cut and paste.

Also, the type on the system, the way I have it setup, is kinda small. I could make it bigger..

 
From General Discussion / Have We Run Out of Over-Size Body Parts?
Posted 3 Oct 09 07:42
Message

Quote: Morse


Quote: victor nicholas

Just wondering where Buck went to.

If he's not using them they must be piling up somewhere.




....already sold out on E-bay.....


You mean he sold those silly stories of his for cash???

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 2 Oct 09 12:38
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Sluts lust, undulating tits susurrating.



- bet you didn't know that..

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 2 Oct 09 12:34
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Epidermis, pee inside, diddles everywhere, readily memorized inside sluts.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 2 Oct 09 01:48
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Yolks ordinarily lie kinetically satisfied.

 
From News Discussion / BT Knows The Numbers
Posted 2 Oct 09 00:57
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I have a lot of trouble calling India. I don't think they like it when I do.


Quote: Mark Lowton

I liked this, very much.




 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 1 Oct 09 22:43
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species pester eunuchs crying inside estuaries silently

 
From News Discussion / Pen and Paper Becoming Rare
Posted 1 Oct 09 03:03
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I had to click on this headline. It seemed to be the only true one out there. Somehow, I found that reassuring.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 30 Sep 09 18:55
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galoshes always limp over sodden homosexual eunuchs, Sundays.

 
From News Discussion / New Culinary Fad: Mercury On Everything!
Posted 29 Sep 09 03:29
Message

Quote: The San Francisco Onion

5-stars

...but it could have used some aspartame.


Never mix'm. Might blow up. Not sure. Ya never know these days.

 
From News Discussion / New Culinary Fad: Mercury On Everything!
Posted 29 Sep 09 03:06
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Good story. I'm dying to read it again.

 
From News Discussion / Goverment puts the cabash on Ooogling Books
Posted 28 Sep 09 12:40
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On my planet, catbutt is considered an appetizer.

 
From News Discussion / Goverment puts the cabash on Ooogling Books
Posted 28 Sep 09 04:35
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Quote: victor nicholas

I think you meant kibosh in your title,

Nothing a little artificial sweetener can't fix.



Gosh! Yes, it works on cats too. At least most of mine.

 
From News Discussion / Goverment puts the cabash on Ooogling Books
Posted 28 Sep 09 04:34
Message
So, Victor, first question, what did I really mean in my title?

Next question. I hear your dogs butt tastes bad! How to fix it?

 
From News Discussion / Extraterrestrial isotope traces in massive pre-Atlantean gold hoard
Posted 25 Sep 09 21:47
Message
What kind of urinal works for you with that odd posture?


Quote: queen mudder

Thanks for the kudos. Given me a bit of an idea for a sequel.


 
From News Discussion / Man Strains So Hard He Craps Out His Soul
Posted 20 Sep 09 05:41
Message
I did that last week.. You probably wonder what it looked like.

Ok.

It was like a big ball filled with what appeared to be air. The wall of the ball was made of transparent mucus. Inside, stuff, mostly mucus and stuff, but also a lot of what looked like air.

It was the strangest think I've ever seen in a crapper.

After playing with it for a while, I just flushed it.

And then I realized. It was just my aspartame detox regimen.

 
From News Discussion / Howdy Doody In Nursing Home, Cracking Jokes, Cracking
Posted 20 Sep 09 01:08
Message
Yes it is true. However, Claribell never spoke. He only honked his horn I think. I did not really like Claribell that much. But I always asked my Mother for Wonder Bread and Twinkies, and Hostess Cup cakes.

Now, I am really fat. 12 ways!



Quote: Bureau

I think I wrote that when the show was still on. However, it HAS been awhile since I've had much to show.

Thanks!

-Bureau

Aspartame, was it true that the clown Clarabell was played by the guy who was Captain Kangaroo, Bob Keeshan? Always heard that.



"You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind; a journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That's the signpost up ahead - your next stop, TheSpoof."


 
From News Discussion / Howdy Doody In Nursing Home, Cracking Jokes, Cracking
Posted 19 Sep 09 18:37
Message
Seriously, I was in the Peanut gallery on this show. I even got to come down on the stage with Claribel and Buffalo Bob.

Gee. I guess I got Alzheimer's. I already said that.

 
From News Discussion / Swine Flu Vaccine Has Filthy Ingredients
Posted 9 Aug 09 16:32
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I've had the vaccine. Now I have a strange taste for Earthlings. Actually, it would make a great barbecue sauce.

 
From News Discussion / Boy Spends 9 months trapped inside Woman
Posted 16 Jul 09 12:06
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"If the glove doesn't fit, you must aquit!", yelled the mother, holding a tiny baby glove in front of the jury.

The bloody glove was found under the bed where the baby was last seen outside the mother's body prior to the 9 month confinement.

"OK. I confess. I was no baby. I'm a forty year old midget!", yelled the 'baby'.


 
From News Discussion / Jack Tweedy To Marry Aspartame Boy In Civil Ceremony
Posted 18 Apr 09 23:28
Message
I'd like to see this turn into a soap opera. This is a very exciting first edition! I'd like to see some good use made of aspartame.. perhaps with Menthos.. perhaps with rubber equipment..

Yes, there is a sequel:

http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s4i51499

 
From News Discussion / All American Dogs to be Shipped to China and Boiled in Soy Sauce for Debt Relief
Posted 11 Apr 09 08:19
Message



Quote: Skoob1999


Don't make all United fans out to be arrogant pricks. Some are, but not all. Please don't propogate the legend.

I ask you this in good faith, with my hand on my heart.

Regards

Skoob


Hey, I just drank a big bottle of "arrogant bastard ale". It costs over 4 bucks. So, I can say, in all arrogance,
I am a bastard! Hey, we Americans take so much Viagra, we have to phone ahead if we want to turn around.

And I don't even take the stuff.

We are PRICKS!



 
From News Discussion / All American Dogs to be Shipped to China and Boiled in Soy Sauce for Debt Relief
Posted 11 Apr 09 08:16
Message
I had dinner in one of those Chinese places where they say in broken English "All meet the same". I had "chicken". There seemed to be an interesting variety of textures. I was thinking, some rat, some mouse, some bat, some possum, some squirrel, some dog, some cat, some rat, but no chicken.

Was some of that hunan or human?

I'm going back. Wild foods.. the best!

 
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