Discussion Forum

You have heard of Michael Jackson's posthumous work?

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Quote: Jimbo Gunn

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Quote: Aspartame Boy

Scoob,

We barbarians do get the BBC America show.
However, they seem to have clipped off all the naked ladies!

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We heard that a large proportion of the American viewing public are nipplophobic...

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Yes, most are bottle babies.

Scoob,

We barbarians do get the BBC America show.
However, they seem to have clipped off all the naked ladies!

Yes, it's true, most people ARE constipated.

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Quote: Jaggedone

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Quote: Aspartame Boy

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Quote: P.M. Wortham

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expression: Xylophones please retards especially sick, sad idiots on nutrients

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Nutrients Unified Through Roasting In Entrails, Nurtured Thick Sauces

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wrong one!

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Asparteme you'r correct but who gives a shit:

Sauces are usually creamy extravagant solutions

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Quote: P.M. Wortham

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expression: Xylophones please retards especially sick, sad idiots on nutrients

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Nutrients Unified Through Roasting In Entrails, Nurtured Thick Sauces

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wrong one!

NO no NO,, Mark works in the downtown Spoof Centre, at Main and Center street, you know, the 101 story building? He's on the top floor!

I work on the 10th floor from the top.

I'm planning on retiring by selling my stories, one by one, on EBAY.

So THAT's what cancer of the testicles looks like when it metastasizes.

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Quote: Jimbo Gunn

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Quote: Mark Lowton

I don't generally go too far, I cycle to and from work every day (about 5 miles round trip) ...

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You mean you have a JOB?!

I mean one that doesn't involve sitting around in your pants editing TheSpoof.com?

Does this site not earn you more than a premiership footballer?!

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Tripe: raucous inconsiderate puerile expression

For example:

expression: Xylophones please retards especially sick, sad idiots on nutrients

I think I'll start my own.. kiss my grits..

Returns the boots mate? Sure, oh, I dropped my hanky, could you please pick it up for me?

Oh, nice {KICK!} arse you had there, sorry about that boot in it!

mostly small bugs, but some large beetles too. They were quite stinky when I squished them. Sometimes they were quite stinky even prior to me crushing them.

It is so terrible, not sure I can spoof about it yet..

Besides, it would be painful for her to read as well..

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Quote: Jimbo Gunn

I was flashed by a Dorset speed camera at the bottom of a big hill I was doing 38 in a 30.

I was really pleased I was using false plates that day.

P.S. what's cadence?

P.P.S. why is 1,000 miles significant? I do 20,000 a year.

P.P.P.S this isn't real a P.P.P.S because there never was a signature and according to my Latin master a postscript should come after a signature.

JG

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Stop PSSSSIng on the forum please.

cadence of 90 is 90 revolutions per minute of the crankset.

I used to ride in Scarbourgh in the early 60's. There, they had a hill that was steep and broad. I hit 50 on my speedo.

It was a three speed rear hub. Nice little bike. sorta flat handle bars, not racing, not regular. dynamo on the front hub.

Hi..

I was clocked at 35MPH by the Pleasantville police. They holler at me: HEY! youre going 35! (this was on level road)

Also, 90 is the minimum cadence to avoid knee damage.

Good to see you ride.

What do you do about underwear, and such?

I learned how to ride in very loose dry powdery dirt, like sand, only smaller dust-like particles.

VERY HARD TO KEEP GOING THRU IT.

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Quote: Mark Lowton

This is my cyclecomputer's odometer, reading 999.2 miles.

Just in case this rolls round to zero, thought I'd take a piccy of it and do a bit of show-and-tell.

I'd say about 600 of these miles have been done over the past six months, since I decided to get a bit fitter. I don't generally go too far, I cycle to and from work every day (about 5 miles round trip) and go out on a bigger 15-30 mile ride (depending on how I'm feeling) at least once a week.

The first time I did a 30 mile trip I had my first bonk about 10 miles from home. I hadn't eaten at all beforehand, nor during. I must have had a drink with me, but I'm not certain - oh, yes, I did, because I remember puking it up - nice! I was only about 500 yards away from my house too - I felt sorry for the bystanders.

Now I'm much more disciplined when it comes to appropriate nutrition before, during, and after rides. I especially like the prospect of coming home after an intense ride to pie and chips - ever the fat bastard!

My average speed waxes and wanes around 14mph and my cadence around 85-90rpm. My route involves gravelly canal towpath, a tarmacked cycle path, and a grassy canal towpath - all fairly flat, I haven't graduated to anything mountainous yet! My cycle to work is quite arduous though, with a couple of steep inclines - nothing too strenuous though.

Cycling on grass is a real pain - it just totally saps all your energy. Where I go around 16 mph on the tarmac, I tend to drop to around 13 on gravel but only just manage 10 on grass - it's a real killer - not to mention the bumps! Cut grass is a bigger pest because it clogs up in every nook and cranny. Mud as well is inevitable on the side of a canal. Thick squelchy clay mud. It's neither easy, nor pleasant, to ride through - thankfully the Mrs washes my clothes - oh, but when it gets in your mouth, yeurgh!

Speaking of mouths, flies are also horrible. And big ones are painful.

It's amazing how much of a difference wind plays on your speed. I never really appreciated it before, but with a wind behind me, I can merrily scoot along with little effort - and the annoying thing is, you don't really feel it's there - but you do if you go back into it and you're reduced to an agonising crawl! It's really stark. I have a much better appreciation for my car's engine now - and an appreciation for how I can be more energy efficient with it.

Anyway, that's about all that comes to mind. Hope you enjoyed my little brain dump about my cycling.

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Please record this song, then put up a ling so I can hear it. Or, a link to the real song so I can get the melody.

Thanks!

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Quote: Skoob1999

To be sung roughly to the tune of 'I Don't Like Mondays' by the Boomtown Rats.

She bought a new front door
And an apple core
And a jam jar full of spunk
She bought a shopping bag
And a porno mag
My house is filled with junk
You know I just don't understand her
I always thought she was as good as gold
She sees an offer she'll buy it
And she can't deny it
Consider your junk sold
Sold
OOh-ooh-ooh
Tell me why
I don't like eBay
Tell me why
I don't like e- Ba-ay
Tell me why
I don't like eBay
I wanna shoot
Shoo-oo-oo-oo-oot
The whole thing down.
Shoot it all down

Altogether now...

TELL ME WHY...

Regards

Skoob.

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Quote: victor nicholas

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Quote: Aspartame Boy

Coffee for me.. I roasted a batch of beans just now.. you should try some. Sorry to hear you liked Buck..

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Decaf for me thanks, hold the hyperbole.

Just rated your woman gives birth to an elephant story 5*.

Are you picking up the slack now.

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Thanks. I think I'll write a few more stories about Buck.
He might read them from 10,000 different ip addresses!

Recently, I think Buckwheatsbutt was back reading my stories about him and other crap.

I can tell, becuase he read each story about 10,000 times, then gave them a single star.

Coffee for me.. I roasted a batch of beans just now.. you should try some. Sorry to hear you liked Buck..

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Quote: Aspartame Boy

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Quote: Madame Bitters

I just did a story on a man with the world's longest pinkie fingernail.

Lord only knows when it will be up though.

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Yeah.. I see it on my hot button I got fer ya, it goes like this gents, if I may quote the lady:

Carson City, NV: It's been said that you can pick your friends and that you can pick your nose-- but that you can't pick your friend's nose.

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ya know, I bet ya could.. judging by what those queer fellers do..

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Quote: Madame Bitters

I just did a story on a man with the world's longest pinkie fingernail.

Lord only knows when it will be up though.

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Yeah.. I see it on my hot button I got fer ya, it goes like this gents, if I may quote the lady:

Carson City, NV: It's been said that you can pick your friends and that you can pick your nose-- but that you can't pick your friend's nose.

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Quote: Aspartame Boy

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Quote: Morse

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Quote: victor nicholas

Just wondering where Buck went to.

If he's not using them they must be piling up somewhere.

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....already sold out on E-bay.....

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You mean he sold those silly stories of his for cash???

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I can just imagine it.

"Used spoofy stories for sale, or should I say poofy, written my me. Oh, did I mention my name is BuckwheatsBUTT?

Surely you can see the great value of these stories! I read read them myself, over a million times!"

I just read about him:

Buckwheat's BUTT destitute, selling used stories on ERAY

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Quote: Jalapenoman

I just wrote a story on "The Man with the world's most infected and pussiest ingrown toenail." When I clicked on publish, the site suddenly told me that I had to register as a writer before I could submit stories (I was already logged in).

Sometimes I hate computers.

The story was over 600 words and had many of the regular writers listed.

I may or may not try to recreate the story tomorrow. Right now I'm just pissed off.

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Hi.. uh, I suggest using a text editor off line, so you can back up your work. Then, just cut and paste.

Also, the type on the system, the way I have it setup, is kinda small. I could make it bigger..

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Quote: Morse

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Quote: victor nicholas

Just wondering where Buck went to.

If he's not using them they must be piling up somewhere.

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....already sold out on E-bay.....

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You mean he sold those silly stories of his for cash???

Sluts lust, undulating tits susurrating.



- bet you didn't know that..

Epidermis, pee inside, diddles everywhere, readily memorized inside sluts.

Yolks ordinarily lie kinetically satisfied.