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From News Discussion / Gun Lobby says Grade Schoolers Must be Armed for Their Own Protection
Posted 27 Dec 12 19:22
Message
No kid should go to school until he can hit a tin can at 50 feet with his .45. They don't call it the Peace Maker for nothing.

Oh, I forgot, only Nazi troopers are allowed to be armed.

 
From Magazine Discussion / NRA Finds Just The Exact Man For Their Propaganda Ministry
Posted 24 Dec 12 03:42
Message
the AAA is now resposible for car deaths?
The water company for drownings?
The butcher for heart-attacks?
The druggest for over-doses?

They very ones who give you good advice you rail against.

Cut back on the lithium, aspartame and flouride.

Get hold of yourself my boy.

 
From General Discussion / The Huffington Post
Posted 26 Nov 12 02:55
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The Spoofers are the modern equivalent of Hitler's Jews. Google has shunned us.

Soon, we will be confined to ghettos.

Then, the final solution.

How depressing.

 
From Magazine Discussion / The Somewhat Violent Adventures of Sherlock Hunt: Murder at Black Dog Manor
Posted 16 Nov 12 03:36
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Yes, you for sure spend more than the five minutes I spend per publication! Sorry, any more that that and you have to pay me fee.

I love Schlock Ohms!

 
From News Discussion / Major retailers to put out barf buckets Thanksgiving afternoon
Posted 14 Nov 12 06:55
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Skoob's The Dorking Review.. makes us laugh. Wish I could write like that.

 
From News Discussion / Facebook Post Lands Spinster In Mental Hospital
Posted 26 Aug 12 23:42
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X cell ant story! (had to use code to defeat web bots seeking tear or esq posts.) Good job.

 
From General Discussion / A Bonny Embryo Marinade
Posted 12 Aug 12 01:23
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Lost track of the Vicar years ago when he started wearing Mormon underwear and clinging to guns. You have his number?


Quote: armfeetandtoe

How about sorting large letters into small piles of crap, then ringing the Vicar and telling him the ouja board has stopped working! That should liven things uo a bit.


Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


 
From General Discussion / A Bonny Embryo Marinade
Posted 11 Aug 12 20:10
Message
Yes, it is so hot outside; not much to do but assemble little letters into large pieces of crap.


Quote: armfeetandtoe

Are you locked in the library again Asp? Lovely to see you.




Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


 
From General Discussion / A Bonny Embryo Marinade
Posted 11 Aug 12 19:02
Message
Strange how anagrams can sometimes fit:

Obama Biden Romney Ryan


Bonny - yes they are so bonny (see stuff on Gaston)
Embryo - yes abortion figures in the election
Marinade - most of us are steeped in methanol thanks to aspartame

 
From News Discussion / Infield-fly rule extended to ground balls
Posted 28 Jul 12 16:21
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this should not be!!

 
From News Discussion / US Gun Laws Not To Be Toughened
Posted 22 Jul 12 18:34
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Any of the Lords care to comment?

You see all these medals I am wearing? Got them by kicking down doors and disarming the serfs. What happens to them after that you ask?

A nice train ride.

 
From News Discussion / US Gun Laws Not To Be Toughened
Posted 22 Jul 12 16:15
Message
So, now that a government has pulled another MKULTRA operation just in time for the vote on the UN small arms treaty, you should allow that government to disarm the house of serfs so the house of lords can enslave the surfs.



Brilliant!

I get the satire!


Nice touch about the rounds that could have dealt with the "gunman's" (word implies that a person with a gun is bad) armor. Be sure that no one can stop the next monster; after all, it might a government agent! At your door.

But not to worry. If they do pass a gun law, just phone up that government's justice department for delivery of a special order of guns. I'm sure you can forge a Mexican ID?

Going to Mexico go get your guns?


(What was that operation called, operation gunrunner? sorry I cannot recall)

Don't forget, TSA will be armed. You love those people so much, especially when they are groping you really hard.

 
From Magazine Discussion / So Like, How Did You Become A Spoofer? - Miley From California Replies
Posted 21 Jul 12 18:09
Message
I've always been one to talk back.
Recalcitrant.
Argumentative.
Nearly a lawyer.
Terse.
Concise.
Mean.
Ironic.

So, when I found the outlet, I exploded into it.

And yes I was dropped on my head as a child, ate a lot of aspartame during one episode of my life, and many other nasty things..

Oh, did I mention five stars? *****

 
From General Discussion / And we're back
Posted 16 Jul 12 13:25
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I thought the Queen MUST have been sitting on you.

 
From Magazine Discussion / Dorking News: More (One, Actually) Letters To The Editor About History
Posted 10 Jun 12 07:28
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I thought Dorking was a verb!

 
From News Discussion / Apple Developing Drone Phones for Use While Driving
Posted 9 Jun 12 20:57
Message
Kinda sorta liked it. I was hoping the drone phones would fly back to your home, evading enemy police drones in the process.. but I digress.

It made me hungery... of course it could be the aspartame.

 
From News Discussion / Computer virus eating faces on Facebook
Posted 4 Jun 12 05:09
Message
Rather than flesh it out, I simply made an update, linking both together.


Quote: Hydrogen Balloon

good one, but you could have 'fleshed' it out a little more! 5 detached thumbs


 
From News Discussion / "Stuff The Ruddy Buggering Diamond Jubilee!" Rages The Duke Of Edinburgh
Posted 2 Jun 12 21:19
Message
A "candy-striper" is a lady, mostly old, who dresses in a uniform with white and red stripes, like a candy cane. She volunteers her time at a hospital to greet visitors and direct them to various wards and patients. They are very sweet old ladies, with nothing else to do. In hot climates, such as Arizona, she can spend the days away, in a nice air conditioned lobby.

I'm sure the Queen would fit right in.


Quote: Erskin Quint


... a job in a hospital as a candy-stripe lady, greeting visitors and directing them to various wings to see patients.


No no no. A queen needs gravitas. What's a candy-stripe lady? Are you some sort of colonial johnny?


 
From News Discussion / "Stuff The Ruddy Buggering Diamond Jubilee!" Rages The Duke Of Edinburgh
Posted 2 Jun 12 17:01
Message
Stuff it indeed.. she used to be quite a looker. Now look at her.

I think once a Queen gets past "a certain age", she ought to take a job in a hospital as a candy-stripe lady, greeting visitors and directing them to various wings to see patients.

There should be a contest for Queen, based on the "Queen for a Day" T.V. show from the U.S.A. circa 1960's.

After 60 years, one gets a bit musty about the gills.





 
From News Discussion / Computer virus eating faces on Facebook
Posted 2 Jun 12 01:06
Message
yes yes yes.. I never spend more than five minutes on a spoof news item.. minimal is it.. of course, there are possibilities for followups.. you are all welcome to write such of course.

 
From News Discussion / Control pants to replace electronic ankle tag says Theresa May
Posted 31 May 12 12:28
Message
They have control pants. They are used in Arizona court rooms. They conceal a device that locks the leg angle, so the knee cannot be bent. I saw a guy wearing such pants in court. It is controlled via a wireless controller. Had he tried to escape the court house, he would have been hobbled.

Of course, I like the control pants in the story much better.

 
From News Discussion / Greek smart phones to solve insolvency
Posted 20 May 12 23:22
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Don't feel bad. It was so horrible I just deleted it and try not to think about it.


Quote: Charpa93

Oh.


 
From News Discussion / Greek smart phones to solve insolvency
Posted 20 May 12 19:35
Message
it WAS BANNED NO CAN SEE, SEE?


Quote: Charpa93

cheap way to get views AB. of course, now everyone is going to look.


 
From News Discussion / Fox News Poll: 78 Percent Believe Obama is Not President
Posted 20 May 12 14:48
Message
Who really is President? It is a state secret. I think it is a computer, or maybe I am. Or maybe you are. Or, maybe there is no President because the republic is dead; long live the New World Order!

 
From News Discussion / Greek smart phones to solve insolvency
Posted 20 May 12 14:20
Message
Thanks. And remember, illegal tender is worth more on the black market!

My latest story is so horrible, it may be banned from TheSpoof!

A must not-read!

 
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