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16 Pages - «« « 12 13 14 15 [16]
From News Discussion / Jehovah's Witnesses to Deliver Mail
Posted 20 Dec 08 10:00
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I take it you are a Nun?

 
From General Discussion / How are Featured Writers chosen?
Posted 20 Dec 08 04:07
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Quote: Madame Bitters


Quote: Fergus McCarthy

What stoner invented peanut butter?

He had to be stoned.
***********************************************************

Either way pb is an excellent remedy for the munchies. I like to mix it with Cocoa Puffs in a big bowl, then roll the pb and cocoa puffs into a large ball. After that I sprinkle it with donut sugar and spoon it onto graham crackers or tortillas. At least that's what I do with it- but you do what you want.


Actually, it's quite crowded on our mother ship. The pope wants to stay for a while. For some reason it seems he can't wipe himself, and we have to do it.

 
From General Discussion / Is there a 'osting limit'?
Posted 20 Dec 08 04:05
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Quote: Henman

Caught 5 year old brother dirnking drink laced with asparatame!

told him off.

then snuck some of the drink while he wasn't looking.

I'm going to be up all night


Yes, a little poison can be a stimulant.. sort of like acupuncture.

However, if you use a large sword instead of a small needle, it may not have a good effect.

 
From General Discussion / How are Featured Writers chosen?
Posted 20 Dec 08 01:17
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Come to my mother ship. My crew wants to prepare a special batch of peanut butter just for you.

Bring some cherry jelly too.



 
From General Discussion / How are Featured Writers chosen?
Posted 19 Dec 08 18:19
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They must show us how much peanut butter they can hold in each orifice.

We make this test on our mouther ship.

We of course add aspartame to the peanut butter.

If they set a new record, they are featured.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 19 Dec 08 18:04
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Me Paraquat Yoghurt sale often gives her uncomfortable rumbling tummy


Tummy Underwent More Aspartame, Equal Microsurgery Yesterday


arrrrrrrrrrrrr!



Quote: P.M. Wortham


Quote: Monkey Woods

Yoghurt often gives her uncomfortable rumbling tummy.


Tummy Underwent More Microsurgery Yesterday


 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 19 Dec 08 10:51
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aspartame equal = me paraquat sale


Yes, I was sent here to make sure Earthlings were all quenched with aspartame.

 
From General Discussion / Is there a 'osting limit'?
Posted 19 Dec 08 09:09
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One thing Ebray IS good for is buying pure aspartame; this is required for certain recipies. Aspartame companies will not sell it to non food industry people.

But there are a few psychos on Ebray that sell it on the sly, sorta like crack.

I think I shut those psychos down with my attacks here thru the dimension of sardony.

 
From General Discussion / Understanding the Editorial Line
Posted 18 Dec 08 08:03
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I was a photographer for the M.I.T. paper, The Tech.
I shot wrestlers and guest speakers.

 
From News Discussion / Marijuana Has Big Medical Benefits and Counters Deadly Effects of Aspartame
Posted 15 Dec 08 17:15
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Ralph Roachman made the startling announcement and even smoked a joint at the press conference here, along with several white rats.

So, how did he smoke the rats? Dry them and stuff them into a Hookah? Sounds good, but, let's hope he marinated them in aspartame first.

O yeah.. I read the whole story. Good stuff. Keep at it.

 
From News Discussion / Last American worker finally laid off today. US unemployment reaches 100%!
Posted 10 Dec 08 04:59
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Looks like the the last one working is BuckwheatsButt!



How else would I be able to read about it.

 
From News Discussion / Asperspam Clogs Internet
Posted 3 Dec 08 18:58
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Yes, um. um .. quite.

 
From General Discussion / Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Posted 3 Dec 08 04:48
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As the Earth turns...

 
From General Discussion / Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Posted 1 Dec 08 02:59
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photosythesis.. need I say more?

 
From General Discussion / When Do You Give Five Stars To A Story??
Posted 29 Nov 08 16:06
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Could you please decode that response? Green smoke is now comming from my alien brain..

 
From News Discussion / Jesus Budda caught masturbating on national TV!
Posted 29 Nov 08 04:18
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I thought this was supposed to be spoofs.

I saw that program.

Of course, we have special TV's in our UFOs.

Of course WE don't call them UFO's.

 
From General Discussion / Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Posted 27 Nov 08 13:01
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actually.. it's granbury.. time to bury granma

 
From General Discussion / Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Posted 27 Nov 08 00:24
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be sure to add extra aspartame to the cranbury sauce

 
From General Discussion / Aspartame Industry Closes Down John Winters
Posted 26 Nov 08 06:52
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Censored

 
From General Discussion / When Do You Give Five Stars To A Story??
Posted 26 Nov 08 06:51
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When green liquids oooze from all 17 of my orify uncontrolably

For clear liquids, just four stars.. tends to leave my tubes clogged.

 
From General Discussion / bacteria are plural
Posted 29 Oct 08 05:51
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Bacteria are good.
Bacteria is not good.

 
From News Discussion / Chocolate That Reverses Tooth Decay To Be Launched
Posted 19 Oct 08 07:41
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A recent study suggests that this candy will cause terminal constipation. So, it makes a great gift.

 
From News Discussion / Big-Time Economic Doom Coming, Says Financial Guru
Posted 18 Oct 08 08:15
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WOW.. I guess this was funny way back when, prior to it actually happening. Perhaps this story should be moved to the Wall Street Journal? - John Winters

 
From News Discussion / American Independence An Elaborate Hoax!
Posted 16 Oct 08 09:47
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The queen is furuious! This should never have been revealed!

 
16 Pages - «« « 12 13 14 15 [16]
Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

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