Discussion Forum

Dearest Charpa the Hutt and Lady Godown,
Earlier in this thread (sometime around 1987) you mentioned that all the spoofer women should stick together. I think that is an excellent idea!

WARNING- The following missive is full of sophomoric, crude, vile, tasteless mutterings that is redeemed by being mildly humorous at times.

I think the lot of you should all meet at the Greek island of LESBOS. Beware, though, the native women there are tough and you might get a LICKING you didn't expect. But then again, you might be able to go TIT for T_AT with them. Also watch out for flooding. You might end up having to stick your finger in a DYKE to save yourselves. There is also a strong sun there. You could encounter a number of STROKES if you aren't careful. Transportation is limited; you might find yourself having to GRAB SOME ASS to get by. Don't get upset if you hear someone yell "MOTHER FU__ER!"; they are just giving instructions to a close relative. To spend time, you can BEAT AROUND THE BUSH a little, or EAT THE LOCAL OYSTERS. If you find yourself alone, it would be a good time to get in TOUCH WITH YOURSELF. No matter what,you will be glad that you had COME! The fun will surely be the CLIMAX that you had sought.
I am sure that your OUTING will COME as a great WET DREAM COME true and you will be CHEEK TO CHEEK and RUBBING with your new found friends the whole time. You'll probably have a lot of fires going in the OVEN while you are there. Animals are allowed, so you and others can PLAY WITH YOUR PUSSY while on vacation.
Have fun, and remember to EAT smart while you are there!


Skittering, skanky, subversive, smart aleck, somnambulistic, slithering, snake like slanderers!

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Quote: Morse

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Quote: rfreed

Or Morse for that matter too.

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I never announce my "arrival"....I like to surprise even myself!

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Oh yes you do!
The last time we were together you went "Oh God!, Oh God!
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!"

You're just jealous because I won't make it a threesome any more. (Or a foursome if LG or Skoob jump in too)

Look here, the whole lot of you:
WHAT GOES ON BETWEEN ME AND MY HAMSTERS IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!
Buzz off!

Mischevious, maladjusted, mean, maniacial, miserable, menacing, mental miscreants!

Man, you catch on quick!
Different story with Morse, though.

Or Morse for that matter too.

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Quote: Charpa93

As if you could....
Didn't you mention your nickname was Mr. Teeny Weenie?

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So what?
They were teeny women!
They left with happy satisfied smiles on their faces, clinging to my legs begging for more.
Now if I could only get them to stop ringing my bell in the middle of the night with their insatiable, wanton lusts.

Which reminds me- if you or LG come by again could you ring three times in a row so I know its you and not the others.
Thanks!

It looks like I prodded the womenfolk a bit to much and got them teed off.
Of course, I always seem to get in trouble when I prod the women too much (snicker, snicker).

Easy for you to say.

Damn!
Women are getting too smart these days!
Why did we ever allow them to read and get an education?
Oh, I remember- because we needed secretaries!



WHY HAMSTERS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN

They are always nice and furry and fluffy.
They squeak really nice.
They are happy just having pellets to eat and clean grass for furniture.
They are always there for you.
They don't say "Not now, I have a headache".
They don't need a fur coat- they already have one.
They don't need your money, although they will eat it if you give it to them.
They can't talk.
They're satisfied with a little cage for a house- (try putting a regular woman in a cage. I still have scratch marks.)
THEY DON'T B*TCH!!!!!!!

And Skoob,
please don't bring the hamsters into this too. Its bad enough as it is

L. Godiva- I think your hats on a little too tight.
You're turning blue and it might be shutting off oxygen to your brain!

Help me guys, they're ganging up on me!

Yes, it is true, I am in need of a good spanking...
Morse, send me your phone number!

But, ladies, if you have the slightest shred of mercy in you, there is one thing that could save me from a life of misdirected lust seeking, from the torment of searching for love in all the wrong places, from the agony of unrequited lust.

That is the love of a true woman.

Only that can pull me out the the pit of depravity that I have fallen into. Just like the Beast in Disney's 'Beauty and the Beast' a woman who can see beyond a wretched exterior could save a drowning man's soul. It has been known throughout history that the passion of a female can change the entire universe if it is unleashed. Yes, you all could be the angels that perform just such a rescue. And here is how:

Just send me bikini or nudie shots of yourselves to this address;
Rfreed, 4632 Lecher Lane, Fairbanks, Alaska 99709
(Be sure to send it express!)
I will deeply contemplate the submissions and see if they are able to penetrate the deeply engramed sinful ruts of my mind and touch upon a new erotic chord that would save me from the damnation of Sodom and Gomorrah like actions and return me to the true and righteous path of heterosexuality.
Perhaps the purveying of your lovely images will return my senses to their proper channels of longing for the sensual curves of the female form and help me to forget that of the left over plumbing of the masculine. Maybe it will drill a pathway into an inner well of sensuality that will erupt from me like a volcano and lead me to the more satisfying revelation of the joy of male/female bonding.
Remember, only you can help save me from this abyss of dark emotions.

If not, then you guys send me some and I'll see how that works.

And Dearest Skoob,
Due to my being internationally outed by Charpa The Hutt I am an emotional wreck.
I would not be able to engage you in the moment in any form of fisticuffs be they physical or verbal.
I must retreat for a while to bandage the scars upon my poor emotions.

When that's over, though, I'm coming for your butt!!
(In more ways than one!)

MOTHER MAMMARY TWEAKER!!!!
BARMY BOLLOCKS BASTARD!!!

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Quote: Charpa93

Good. It would seem my job here is done.

Charpa93

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(Sniff)
You're so cruel!
All women are batches...er....botches...er...butches....wait a minute....betches.....
Oh, whatever!

You are one miserable little woman-hating hack, admit it.
Wassamatter, break up with your boyfriend?

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THANKS FOR OUTING ME CHARPA93!!!!
RIGHT IN FRONT OF ALL THE SPOOF READERSHIP!!!
WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST OPEN YOUR WINDOW AND SHOUT IT OUT TO THE WHOLE WORLD!!!!

Here I am in my lonely room day after day writing spoofs that appear for a few days and then disappear into that great Internet abyss. Alone. Lonely. No one to love. No one to care for.

Here above the Hunk-A-Dunk Men's Fitness Center.

Where every day virile, hard bodied, gorgeous men come in and out after pumping their bodies in all sorts of exciting ways. Making themselves brawnier. Making themselves bigger. Making themselves harder. In oh, so many ways.
And I am above them. Lonely and alone. And my mind begins to wander down pathways I never knew existed. I begin to fantasize in forbidden, illicit ways. I begin to think of their sweaty, tight chest, powerful legs, bulging pectorals,
and other bulging things. Soon I am awash in sinful lusts of the damning kind. Soon it was too late.

Can you blame me?

AND NOW YOU'VE EXPOSED ME TO THE WORLD!!!!
THIS PROVES THE EVIL THAT WOMEN ARE CAPABLE OF!!!

AND NO, L. GODIVA, HE WAS NOT TALLER THAN ME!
HE WAS SHORT AND STUBBY!!!!
IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE!!!

Cagey cannibalistic concubineal creatures in the Creators creation! Wrackedly womanly wombats wrecking ruin in whatever wrath they revel in! Horrendously harping Harpies manifesting havoc in hellaciously harrowing hells!

Oh, Oh!
How did you find that out?
Did that little wussie snitch on me?
Did he post pictures on YouTube again?
Ohh, I'm going to bitch slap him so bad!

Come on!
Quit with the gabbing!
Bring it on!
I'll fight the whole lot of ye with one typing finger tied behind my back!

"You say cojones, I say cajones,
let's call the whole things off!"

OK, enough of this B.S.
Lets get back to tearing each other apart literally like this thread was intended.

B.S. bollocking, cojone crunching, maggotty meally mouthed marmots, wickedly wrenching wenches, literally lucid liteganeous lechers!

SEE! SEE!
SHE'S ALREADY GOT HIM TRAINED AND ON A LEASH!
THAT'S WHAT THEY ARE GOING TO DO TO THE WHOLE LOT OF US GUYS!
GET SMART NOW AND WATCH OUT FOR THEM!
GET KEVLAR ENFORCED JOCK PROTECTORS NOW FOR YOUR CAJONES BECAUSE THEY ARE OUT TO GET THEM!

Admit it is true!!!
Come on, we all know the lot of you are all closet Sapphos just waiting for your chance to have all men neutered so you can take over. Then we will be collared like a dog. and told to heel.

Carbon based, womb possessing drama queens!

Women!
First we let them learn to read.
Then we let them vote.
Then we let them wear pants.
Then we let them work jobs.
Then we let them use our flush toilets.
Then we let them become candidates.
Now because of all this they think they have cajones (look it up in a Spanish dictionary) too, especially since we let them wear pants.
Pretty soon all the women will turn gay and men will be an endangered species.

Or is it too late already?

No, penis- MAIMER would be more like it.

There, had enough? Maybe that will teach you women folk to stay in the kitchen and scrub the pots and make babies like you are supposed to do instead of out writing spoofs which is mens work.

Criminy, why did we ever teach them to read and write anyway?

Dick-head eh?
Well, the gloves are off now!
I was always taught to be nice to the ladies, but I guess they all think they are men now, so I guess times have changed.
It would be a low thing to attack a woman, but someone has to man enough to do it.
It would bring the forum to a new low point- but, what the heck,its cheaper entertainment than the cinema.

Here goes:
Madonna mimicking, mammary bedecked, man eating, Cosmopolitan reading, fruit of the tree of knowledge of Good and Evil tasting, thong wearing, groin kicking, boyfriend humiliating, cuckold castrating, Samson seducing and shaving, man mooching, juvenile jail bating,

where was I....damn, I got side tracked! Now I've lost my thread...