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From General Discussion / Philandering with grace!
Posted 1 Sep 12 22:39
Message
Hands off, I saw him first.

And even though I'm a good six inches taller than him in flats....Look at Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. Okay, bad example. But you know what I mean. I think Jason would like a pair of boobs he can shelter under in the rain.

Debbie

 
From General Discussion / What do you bring to a relationship?
Posted 1 Sep 12 22:37
Message
There are two sides to every personality.

A Yin, a Yang.

A Left, a Right.

An Iain, a Debbie.

Or Deborah, when my mum's annoyed with me.

Does that answer the question? It does? I'd better edit it until it makes less sense then.

Debbie.

 
From General Discussion / Philandering with grace!
Posted 1 Sep 12 22:34
Message
My wife found a very good way to stop me looking at other women.

Hormones and a Debenhams store card.

Still...that Jason Statham's looking pretty good right now.

Hmmm.

Debbie

 
From General Discussion / What do you bring to a relationship?
Posted 1 Sep 12 22:31
Message
I bring a shopping partner, a ready made maid, and size 42B breasts.

She brings the wine and cheese.

Debbie

 
From General Discussion / Your Aphrodisiac!
Posted 1 Sep 12 22:29
Message
2mg of oestrogen and 12mg of spiralactone.

Debbie

 
From General Discussion / iPad?......iPod?.....iThick
Posted 1 Sep 12 17:50
Message
I have an app-titude for it.

Debbie

 
From General Discussion / iPad?......iPod?.....iThick
Posted 1 Sep 12 12:54
Message
Go Android

Samsung's Galaxy Pad 2 (10.1) is the Bees Knees. It blows the iPad out of the water.

Because it's open source, the range of apps is vast, it's already overtaken the iStore, thanks to Apples restrictions on what they'll sell. There are also far more 'free' apps paid for with an internet connection and an ad or two.

I got the Galaxy S3 phone, and it's converted 2 iPhone users onto Android, and another is wavering.

This is why Apple have launched a law suit on Samsung which they won in the American courts to the tune of a billion dollars.

If I was Samsung, I'd stop selling Apple the chips for their iPhones....

Debbie

 
From Magazine Discussion / The Initials 'CEO' Now Have A Whole New Meaning
Posted 1 Sep 12 09:42
Message
I'm having a word with him. How come you got to keep any of the money. There's something not right there.

"Just for the love of it," my arse.

SKOOB! Get in here.

Debbie

 
From Magazine Discussion / The Lamp Post
Posted 31 Aug 12 16:15
Message
I'll be right over.

I've not seen Glen or Glenda since this morning.

I only drink cocktails with umbrellas now though. However, I will bring my own supply of umbrellas. My cocktails need a golf umbrella.

Debbie

 
From Magazine Discussion / The Lamp Post
Posted 31 Aug 12 15:08
Message
Yes... a wonderful and in depth look at the lamp post. I hope that Arm follows this up with a piece about the future of the lamp post in modern society.

And includes what Brian Cox thinks of them.

Debbie

 
From News Discussion / Essex Lion terrorises the Pendle Ikea
Posted 29 Aug 12 21:33
Message
Why let facts get in the way of a good story? We're a red top after all....

It needed to be Pendle, they're Britain's favourite witches.

It didn't need to be Ikea...

Giggling

Debbie

 
From Magazine Discussion / The Initials 'CEO' Now Have A Whole New Meaning
Posted 29 Aug 12 07:59
Message
Yes.

But I do have a habit to feed.

Those long robes worn by monks are ALWAYS hungry.

Debbie

 
From Magazine Discussion / The Initials 'CEO' Now Have A Whole New Meaning
Posted 28 Aug 12 17:46
Message

Quote: rfreed

Hmmmmm.....
I could use 50 pounds.

OK, I'll talk!

But....it doesn't involve anything.........immoral, does it?

I mean......... you're not like ...........a pimp or anything, are you?

Its just that there are still parts of me that are virginal......and I sort of wanted to keep them that way............at least for a little while longer.........


In my new found lease of life, I can help there... Virginal should just mean you live in Virginia. :lascivious wink:

Debbie

 
From General Discussion / Neil Armstrong
Posted 27 Aug 12 10:16
Message
Dallas was very much like Swindon.

I'd have been back sooner, but I had to earn my airfare.

Debbie

 
From General Discussion / Neil Armstrong
Posted 26 Aug 12 19:39
Message
I'm back now boys....don't panic.

I just don't like space travel and sciencey things that much. I get a man in to do those sort of things.

Hugs and kisses,

Debbie

 
From General Discussion / Neil Armstrong
Posted 26 Aug 12 10:13
Message
I always hoped he would be knighted, just to here the queen say "Kneel, Neil."

I miss him, the crazy dude. I'm welling up.

Iain

 
From Magazine Discussion / The Initials 'CEO' Now Have A Whole New Meaning
Posted 25 Aug 12 20:36
Message
Creative, Enjoyable, Original.

Have 5 of the yellow stained thumbs from moi.

Debbie

 
From Magazine Discussion / News Of The World- The Year 2020 (Oh Man, Are We In For it!)
Posted 16 Aug 12 12:56
Message
Magazine article.

Now, if it had come through a wormhole created by the LHC then you *might* (just might) have got it into Main News territory.

Mag articles do get read. Especially when they are as good as this one.

Debbie

 
From News Discussion / Duran Duran upset at not being included in the closing ceremony
Posted 15 Aug 12 13:44
Message
[USING THE VOICE OF KRYTON FROM RED DWARF]

It could, but for two slight problems. Firstly, Victoria Beckham has not had any songs; secondly, Victoria Beckham has not had any songs.

Now I know, technically, this is the same point twice, but it is such a huge problem, I felt it needed repeating.

[/USING THE VOICE OF KRYTON FROM RED DWARF]

Debbie

 
From News Discussion / Olympics Spur On Local Gymnastic Hopefuls
Posted 15 Aug 12 11:39
Message
I agree with Sid.

Loverly piece.

Debbie

 
From News Discussion / Duran Duran upset at not being included in the closing ceremony
Posted 15 Aug 12 10:00
Message
Why thank you, Sid.

I do like writing these song title ones. I've done a few now.

I did miss two song titles from DurranDurran though. They just could not be woven in.

For this, I am a sad abject failure. I will myself 50 lashes from the barbed cat-o-nine-tails. And once I'm done pleasuring myself I will think of some suitable punishment.

Debbie

 
From General Discussion / Clue Doh!
Posted 13 Aug 12 19:18
Message
Robin Berger murders Mark Lowton in his study with a hair band and remains featured writer for ever more! Buwahahahaha.

Debbie

 
From General Discussion / All Alone
Posted 13 Aug 12 19:16
Message
Err, I don't have a Bo Peep outfit, JO. Are you asking me to get one? Do you want the one with the vibrating hook?

Debbie

 
From General Discussion / All Alone
Posted 13 Aug 12 16:52
Message
They gave me a choice, cross dresser or Welsh Dresser. No contest.

Debbie

 
From General Discussion / 2012 Olympics
Posted 13 Aug 12 08:23
Message
I liked the closing ceremony. A good old fashioned Cockney knees up.

Not enough of the classic Ol' Joanna tunes though.

Debbie

 
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Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

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