Discussion Forum

Debbie's fine.

Nobody has ever misspelled Debbie.

It's short for Deborah, not Debra or any other such silliness.

Deb is okay, too.

Or D if you're feeling lazy or rushed for time, or paying per character.

True story: I spelled 'Iain' when I signed my soul to T-Mobile about 5 years ago. Despite several attempts to get it changed, they still call me Ianin. It's hilarious when cold callers from India attempt to pronounce that.

Debbie

Nope...I was thinking "Why is there no instruction video for eyeliner". It either goes half way down your cheek like some mad Parkinson's problem, or in your eyeball.

I was planning on inventing an eyeliner guide that I would take to the Dragons and sell for millions.

Except, I have a strong belief that there is a lesson at school, probably Home Ec, in which this skill is taught only to genetic girls.

This was shortly followed by the thought that I should go to bed, which was followed by an action of going to bed. Thought precedes action, I have proved I have free will.

Debbie

iPod oil needs to be changed every ten years. There's a small hole in the rear of the device that will either be marked 710 or OIL depending on which way up the device is held.

Do not attempt to change the oil any more frequently than once a decade, as this can impair the performance of the device during a full moon.

As iPod's become obsolete after thirty minutes, and are replaced by a new version that does not fit with any of the peripherals that have been purchased for the previous version, it has not been noticed that there is no 710 port on the iPod.

iPod's are slightly better than dolphins in terms of their musical ability, but dolphins have more apps available, due to dolphins eschewing the free market ethos of Apple.

I hope the good lady Danton will be happy with her iPod, but if I ever meet her, I'll swap advice on eyeliner for technological advice, and why she would have been better with a vinyl record player.

Debbie

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Quote: Maria Rios

Well Ian, I'm a 40F and a short 5'1" I think I beat you in the Jason needing a place to stay dry stakes.

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Damn...I can never compete with genetic girls.

Debbie

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Quote: Katarina Frogpond2

Hello Maria. You look like a fellow girl in this man's world of mad baffoonery. How have you found it.

Also, I'm trying to crack the world of strange fiction. Its my lifelong aim to get published in weird tales and I think being a girl is holding me back. Do you think I should adopt a boys name.

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Didn't work for me, Kat.

But then, you have talent, I just had a boys name. You can have Iain if you like, I'm not using it right now.

Debbie

Maria is thinking "Skoob's a bit odd."

Perhaps I should have chosen Claire Voyant as my new name.

Bugger, the paper work's all done now.

Debbie

Debbie? A Persona? How very dare you*.

I tried lying once. I liked it. So I've doing it ever since.

But I'm still Debbie. You need photos?

Debbie

*Attribution: The Fast Show.

Hands off, I saw him first.

And even though I'm a good six inches taller than him in flats....Look at Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. Okay, bad example. But you know what I mean. I think Jason would like a pair of boobs he can shelter under in the rain.

Debbie

There are two sides to every personality.

A Yin, a Yang.

A Left, a Right.

An Iain, a Debbie.

Or Deborah, when my mum's annoyed with me.

Does that answer the question? It does? I'd better edit it until it makes less sense then.

Debbie.

My wife found a very good way to stop me looking at other women.

Hormones and a Debenhams store card.

Still...that Jason Statham's looking pretty good right now.

Hmmm.

Debbie

I bring a shopping partner, a ready made maid, and size 42B breasts.

She brings the wine and cheese.

Debbie

2mg of oestrogen and 12mg of spiralactone.

Debbie

I have an app-titude for it.

Debbie

Go Android

Samsung's Galaxy Pad 2 (10.1) is the Bees Knees. It blows the iPad out of the water.

Because it's open source, the range of apps is vast, it's already overtaken the iStore, thanks to Apples restrictions on what they'll sell. There are also far more 'free' apps paid for with an internet connection and an ad or two.

I got the Galaxy S3 phone, and it's converted 2 iPhone users onto Android, and another is wavering.

This is why Apple have launched a law suit on Samsung which they won in the American courts to the tune of a billion dollars.

If I was Samsung, I'd stop selling Apple the chips for their iPhones....

Debbie

Dallas was very much like Swindon.

I'd have been back sooner, but I had to earn my airfare.

Debbie

I'm back now boys....don't panic.

I just don't like space travel and sciencey things that much. I get a man in to do those sort of things.

Hugs and kisses,

Debbie

I always hoped he would be knighted, just to here the queen say "Kneel, Neil."

I miss him, the crazy dude. I'm welling up.

Iain

Robin Berger murders Mark Lowton in his study with a hair band and remains featured writer for ever more! Buwahahahaha.

Debbie

Err, I don't have a Bo Peep outfit, JO. Are you asking me to get one? Do you want the one with the vibrating hook?

Debbie

They gave me a choice, cross dresser or Welsh Dresser. No contest.

Debbie

I liked the closing ceremony. A good old fashioned Cockney knees up.

Not enough of the classic Ol' Joanna tunes though.

Debbie

I've got a maid outfit too, if you need some home help, Inchy...

Debbie

Quick update....the waitress outfit's still not clean. I thought you were going to get it dry cleaned?

Debbie

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Quote: armfeetandtoe
You swine! I was so in love with you! Now you have shattered my dreams of weddings and watnots......Oh how can I carry on!?.......Now that my one true love......Has turned out to be a geezer....Get us a pint mate.

Arm xxxxxxxxxxxxx

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For you Arm, I will always be your girl. Did you want a pint of mild, lager or are you still drinking pints of absinthe?

And shall I wear that skimpy waitress outfit again?

Debbie

I'm pretending to be a woman in an online war game. The boys think I'm well cool and all want to be my friend. But I'm not that sort of girl, so they can sod off.

:Iain