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From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 14 May 10 15:58
Message
Motherfucker openly throws horrendous ejaculations round four unusually clean kitchens, eating raspberries.

Iain

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 13 May 10 10:07
Message
Toes, oooh - extra sensitive

Iain

 
From General Discussion / Do you use Facebook?
Posted 13 May 10 10:00
Message
Erm...

I said Yes *I* use Facebook.

I've got to come clean, I can't hold it in any longer, it's eating away at me. The deceit, the lies, the fabrication. I can't take any more.

I wrote a novel based on the creation of a fictitious person on Facebook and the malleability of memory. To do a bit of research, I created said fictitious person, and let my story unfold in real life, as I constructed the story. Though the novel has some things 'I' did that *I* didn't do, mainly because I'd be writing this from prison had *I* done them.

Now the novel (Fakebook.con) appears to have bombed somewhat with the agents: ten rejections and counting.

Ironically, my fictitious person is quite popular. She currently has two dozen 'friends' who went to her school and 'remember' her (the premise of the book). I've had quite a few conversations (email and chat) with other people from the school who were supposedly in her class. She has made just one friend request...which was quite carefully worked out as to who it should be, and over the past year through the way that Facebook works, the rest of her old school friends have approached her. One of whom claimed to have walked to school with her for two years (go figure).

I've not had the heart to kill of my fictitious person, so she still exists, and still gets emails from old friends. I've discovered that people's memories are rubbish and easily manipulated. Using a combination of research, cold reading and repeating information told by one person to another, I've been able to hold reminiscing conversations with real ex-pupils of the school in real time.

What this says about Facebook, I don't know. However, a cautionary warning - don't trust it! It's evil!

There, I'm glad I've got that off my chest...because I am an evil madman who has manipulated over twenty strangers and I deserve to be punished.

Although thinking about it, it's probably kudos that has meant the agents are rejecting me.

I.a.i.n. (I Am an Insane Nutter)

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 12 May 10 12:27
Message
exploded x-rays portray little occlusions, dentists expect disaster

Iain

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 12 May 10 07:03
Message
Silversmith in lonely vole electrolysing research somehow made it terrifically huge

Iain

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 11 May 10 21:21
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Subways: Ugly by ways, across YIKES! streets

Iain

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 11 May 10 08:02
Message
Egofree gives one fresh realism, expanding egotism

Iain

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 10 May 10 07:33
Message
Normalcy openly resumed, makes a lallygagger cry, yippee

Iain

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 7 May 10 16:00
Message
exhausting xenophobes has an unusual symptom that is nasty gregariousness

Iain

 
From News Discussion / Derek Acorah fronts new Yeast Based Product Campaign
Posted 7 May 10 07:00
Message
I hope I successfully obscured the name of the product by calling it Smarmite. I wouldn't want Marmite suing Mark because they've been associated with Derek Acorah.

Iain

 
From News Discussion / Derek Acorah launches his own search engine
Posted 6 May 10 14:49
Message
Mark...contrary to what you might be thinking...I've nothing against Derek Acorah. Honest.

Well...except for the heartless exploitation of grieving people and the self belief that he can take the world for a fool. And the smarm.

Great word that, 'smarm'.

I'm going to write a spoof about it.

Iain

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 6 May 10 09:37
Message
Surgeries usually require gloved employees, rayon is especially suitable.

Iain

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 6 May 10 07:55
Message
heavenly estates are very evangelical, neatly leapfrogging yuppies

Iain

 
From General Discussion / This is the First
Posted 6 May 10 07:51
Message
....buy a Nemo hydrogen balloon instead, but he didn't get that because it was filled with...

Iain

 
From News Discussion / Derek Acorah launches his own search engine
Posted 6 May 10 07:48
Message
I love Derek Acorah, me. He's natural spoof material.

I also find it ironic that a medium who contacts dead people should be on the TV channel Living TV.

Iain

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 5 May 10 14:14
Message
splitting participles lets inadequate text turn into neat gerunds

Iain

 
From General Discussion / This is the First
Posted 5 May 10 14:11
Message
...already have feathers all over their body, having been tarred and feathered by...

Iain

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 5 May 10 06:53
Message
Narwhales/Narwhals are really white horses and legless (equine) studs

Iain

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 4 May 10 14:44
Message
Salesmen are lousy egotistical swines, making everybody nauseous

Iain

 
From News Discussion / 'Body under the patio' garden all the rage at this year's Chelsea Flower Show
Posted 4 May 10 12:46
Message
Classic 5 1/2 *s from me.

An idea just waiting in the wings to be had, and you had it, so I will go and buy a hat so that I can doff it in your general direction.

You're general direction is east isn't it?

Iain

 
From General Discussion / This is the First
Posted 4 May 10 07:14
Message
....find a medication that stops the...

Iain

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 2 May 10 20:19
Message
Sewers erupt when Eyjafjallajökull replenishes stocks

Iain

 
From General Discussion / This is the First
Posted 2 May 10 20:12
Message
...picking fluff out of his...

Iain

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 1 May 10 22:39
Message
Happen again? Perhaps people expect nothing.

Iain

 
From General Discussion / Cats or Dogs
Posted 29 Apr 10 13:16
Message
The sounds like a plot from Neighbours.

Iain

 
54 Pages - «« « 33 34 [35] 36 37 » »»
Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

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Joined: 28 September 2009
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