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From News Discussion / Isle of Wight News - Scab collection stolen
Posted 13 Oct 12 14:50
Message
Transvestites? Humour? Well...I'm half way there. I just need to see the funny side now.

Debbie


Quote: Skoob1999

I liked this too Debbie.

It makes me feel like writing subs again.

There's a gap in the market for transvestite humour on the interweb these days. Erm...not that's it's about transvestism...but...erm...hang on...nearly choked on me feather boa there...

Regards

Martina.


 
From News Discussion / Isle of Wight News - Scab collection stolen
Posted 11 Oct 12 09:50
Message

Quote: Patti Cake

Just when you thought this story couldn't get anymore yuk - it did! Hilariously yukky - well done!


Thanks. It's a true story. Only the person, place and number of scabs have been changed.

Debbie

 
From General Discussion / The worst haiku ever written in the WesternWorld thread
Posted 6 Oct 12 22:07
Message
I bought some land
In a place called Kobe
It's not there any more.

Debbie

 
From General Discussion / The Coal Hole Firm Cordially Invite You...........
Posted 6 Oct 12 11:00
Message
Right, I'll wiggle my bottom all the way down Regents Street, dressed as a hooker to a pub of dubious renown, walk in and ask for Clive, at which point the barman WILL ask the question "Blimey, didn't Clive win enough on the horses for a proper prozzie this week?"

Hmm?

That's if I make it that far....

I'll think about it. No promises mind!

Debbie

 
From General Discussion / The Coal Hole Firm Cordially Invite You...........
Posted 5 Oct 12 19:43
Message
I need longer than 24 hours notice!

Do you know how long it takes to put false eyelashes on?

And then there's deciding what to wear. I'd probably want something new, as I don't think I have a 'meeting men in a pub' outfit. And that means shopping!

Tut. Men.

I need at least a month's notice.

Debbie

 
From General Discussion / Why do we get ill?
Posted 5 Oct 12 10:56
Message
Get better soon, Mark.

Have you tried taking Glaxo Smith Kline's new placebo treatment? I understand it's very effective. Although I don't know what it was up against in clinical trials.

Debbie

 
From Magazine Discussion / My life as a man #11
Posted 4 Oct 12 12:56
Message
Glad to help.

I think.

Gulp.

Debbie

 
From General Discussion / The Hippy thread
Posted 3 Oct 12 13:24
Message
My hippy name is Sunshine Meadows. This is also a Nursing Home in Liverpool.

Most of their residents are pretty chilled too.

It's about time they had a clear out, really.

I don't do drugs, it interferes with the Oestrogen. Except wine. And chocolate. And coffee. The Holy Trinity.

Can I still be a hippy if I only do cocoa?

Debbie

P.S. Captain, luv, no...it's the right hole :O

 
From General Discussion / The worst haiku ever written in the WesternWorld thread
Posted 3 Oct 12 11:54
Message
A sober Haiku?
I have never been sober.
Another Chablis?

Debbie

 
From General Discussion / The Hippy thread
Posted 2 Oct 12 14:32
Message
I've got a hippy dress and flowers for my hair. Can I come in?

Debbie

 
From General Discussion / The worst haiku ever written in the WesternWorld thread
Posted 2 Oct 12 12:28
Message
Mark had a hair-band
back in 1992
Now he's banned hair.

Debbie

 
From General Discussion / The worst haiku ever written in the WesternWorld thread
Posted 2 Oct 12 08:50
Message
Haiku, a haiku
My kingdom for a haiku
Cried Richard Di-sen

 
From General Discussion / The worst haiku ever written in the WesternWorld thread
Posted 1 Oct 12 13:09
Message
Ellie can have mine
As I don't need them any more
P+P extra.

Debbie

 
From General Discussion / Ideas for 'Dragons Den'
Posted 30 Sep 12 14:10
Message
Are they bikes with built in technology?

Debbie

 
From General Discussion / Ideas for 'Dragons Den'
Posted 30 Sep 12 13:56
Message
I've never had to wait for a 69. I find they come whenever you need them.

Although...I do prefer a 99. It's the flake.

Debbie

 
From General Discussion / Is It Just Me Or Are Sunday Mornings A Bit Crap?
Posted 30 Sep 12 13:00
Message
Having got in at 2:45 Sunday morning, with blisters on my toes from dancing...kid you not, peep toe heels, a definite no no for dancing...I can say that Sunday mornings are fab-u-lous.

Debbie

 
From News Discussion / The Kindred Spirit App Helps Find Soulmates
Posted 30 Sep 12 11:06
Message
Ellie has asked me to pick a story from her archive and kick of a Critiquing Circle type affair. I can only presume those pesky kids are keeping her too busy to write lately. Personally, I don't think I'm the best person to critique anything.

I picked this one. Not just because it was the first one there, but because it's an app story, and I have a fondness for them.

So...with apologies to feelings, egos and the word 'yellow', here goes....

The opening paragraph sets the scene, but it is a rather long single sentence. It could benefit from being made into three or four sentences:

"The creator of the Crazam App has come up with another winner, as he launches Kindred Spirit. Having moved from his mother's basement where Crazam was created, Jake Stevens is now living with his girlfriend. It is quite possible his location helps him create his apps."

Type thing.

The second paragraph again could benefit from smaller punchier sentences, build on the idea that Crazam was created because he lived with his mother, and Kindred Spirit was created because he lives with is girlfriend, adding the 400 questions as a throwaway line like: "and it's only a four hundred question questionnaire to make it accurate."

I like paragraph three, and it again could be re-jigged to use shorter sentences. Paragraph four is ace. Change the last 'or' to an 'and' and it has an extra joke in it, as it then makes out that Janice's Kindred Spirit is all 3.

I like the lead up to the end, but the last paragraph isn't needed. It could be included in an earlier paragraph, but it's better to finish on his problems, IMO.

Now...you see why I probably shouldn't critique. The story is GOOD as it is. All of the above could just be my style, and there's NOTHING to see my style is better or worse than anybody else's (worse probably).

I still gave it 5 thumbs.

Hugs Ellie!

Debbie

 
From Magazine Discussion / My life as a man #11
Posted 30 Sep 12 10:47
Message
Honesty: (n) Telling people bad news in a way that makes them feel good.

Just kidding.

I do like this series Frankie (honestly!). It reads VERY autobiographical, with time and place references that feel very real. Although the piece is humorous and light in tone, it's too real to be overly funny (this could also have been because I went into the article with my critical head on). For example, I thought when I read the line "When Trivial Pursuit went out of fashion", that a secondary joke would have upped the ante, something like "Sadly, I don't know enough about Robin Williams to be of any use in a pub quiz." mainly because trivia knowledge is highly prized in pub quizzes still.

I don't think the fork on the floor anecdote adds anything to the story, it would be tighter without it. I get the feeling that the fork really did fall on the floor though, because all of this is TRUE, isn't it.

Grammar and spelling were good. Better than mine. Especially when I create a sentence like 'Better than mine.'

Anyway, my life as a man was dull, so I'm not in a position to criticise, am I?

Debbie


Quote: Francois Dubois, S.J.

Can I get your honest opinions on this one?


 
From News Discussion / Vegetarian society call for a Bacon Ban
Posted 30 Sep 12 09:41
Message
The Vegetarian Society really are based in Altrincham. Around the corner from where I work.

I went past the other day and there was a burger van outside.

This very definition of irony had to be commented upon.

Feel free to rip into the story with as much constructive criticism as required to bring me to tears

Debbie

 
From General Discussion / The worst haiku ever written in the WesternWorld thread
Posted 29 Sep 12 09:09
Message
Heels, tights, skirt and top
Bra, knickers and my wig
That's Debbie's checklist

Debbie

 
From General Discussion / The worst haiku ever written in the WesternWorld thread
Posted 28 Sep 12 06:49
Message
I cried in joy
At Frankie's playful ploy
More! More! More! Big boy.

Debbie

 
From Magazine Discussion / My life as a man #05
Posted 27 Sep 12 22:09
Message
I saw all these, and read the first one thinking "I'm going to hate this", and loved it.

More!

I want to know more about your manhood.

Debbie.

P.S. That might have come out wrong.

P.P.S. Like me.

 
From General Discussion / The worst haiku ever written in the WesternWorld thread
Posted 27 Sep 12 22:07
Message
I found some lube
It was quite an old tube
But it worked

Debbie

 
From General Discussion / Ideas for 'Dragons Den'
Posted 27 Sep 12 08:42
Message
The Dragon Exterminator XE2000.

This marvellous invention can locate and hunt down any dragon, and exterminate it in a blinding flash of cash.

I know it looks like a sub-machine gun, but it is very specific with its targets.

Debbie

 
From General Discussion / The worst haiku ever written in the WesternWorld thread
Posted 27 Sep 12 08:14
Message
I'm not a real girl
But I often get mistook
By drunk morons

Debbie

 
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Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

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