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From News Discussion / A Dyslexic Pope bans Satin
Posted 2 Aug 14 18:48
Message
Just realised - I missed an obvious gag in this one.

The Pope pronounced "Get thee behind me Satin!"
So the haberdasher* made the arse of the Papal pants silky and shiny.

Debbie

*I love the word 'haberdashery' it's a vastly underused word in the English language.

 
From News Discussion / Isle of Wight News - The Island is shrinking!
Posted 18 Jun 14 08:32
Message
At the rate the island is shrinking, and the population increasing, I don't think the whole world's population will fit on the island any more. They'll have to go to the Caribbean instead.

Debbie

 
From News Discussion / Politics is going online
Posted 26 May 14 19:49
Message

Quote: Erskin Quint

Lovely.

I bet you wrote this on an i-something or other too.


I have forsaken real life and have now moved online permanently. Only for tax purposes, you understand.

Debbie

 
From News Discussion / Halal tap water causes outrage
Posted 22 May 14 21:30
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I've stopped swaggering, I now sashay.

Debbie

 
From News Discussion / Halal tap water causes outrage
Posted 20 May 14 18:27
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Thanks.

I want to be the one to tell Nick Farage that UKIP is Halal, and the Daily Fail that they are too.

Debbie

 
From General Discussion / Daily Funnies
Posted 28 Dec 13 13:22
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I think I shall travel to Fairmont and set up a razor stall, as I do not believe the razor has reached their fair shores yet.

Shudder.

Debbie

 
From General Discussion / Daily Funnies
Posted 20 Dec 13 14:38
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We have a Net Nanny filter on the computer at work.

This site is blocked, and the reason it gives is "Potentially Damaging Content". Oo-er, I can't wait until I get home to look at this!

Debbie

 
From General Discussion / Dear Spoof "Now with added idle drunken rhetoric"
Posted 9 Dec 13 11:20
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Mine's a babycham.

Debbie

 
From General Discussion / Scotland Independence
Posted 6 Dec 13 07:49
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The American divorce was very bitter. Not like our divorce with Australia, where we agreed to share the Queen and let them keep our language and sports.

Debbie

 
From General Discussion / What have you all been up to?
Posted 5 Dec 13 23:13
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Jean, come here. Give us a hug!



Debbie

 
From General Discussion / Scotland Independence
Posted 5 Dec 13 23:12
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Why should the Scots vote, and not the English? It affects us too. It's like a divorce. Two parties involved.

It's not like Scotland can accuse England of country-beating, oh. Ok, they can, but it's not like they've been browbeaten, is it? They have? Oh dear. Well, we give them a bit of pin money, and don't insist they were a skirt all the time. They can't possibly want a divorce. Who's going to get custody of Wales and little Northern Island? Can we keep Orkney? I don't think they've thought this through! It's a knee jerk reaction.

Vote no! I don't like change*

Debbie

*Ironically.

 
From News Discussion / Cryhan Air build the world's biggest plane
Posted 4 Dec 13 18:23
Message
Yes to all them, Ellie, as long as you bring your purse and a signed afridavit from your bank to attest that you can pay off the debt of Mexico.

Debbie

 
From General Discussion / What have you all been up to?
Posted 3 Dec 13 09:14
Message
While the forums have been away, what have you all been up to?

I'll kick off: I've not been writing as many spoofs as I used to, as I've discovered the wonders of meeting people. In the past year, my friend base has exploded thanks to coming out as transgender. Who knew? That plus all the stuff I was doing anyway has seriously impacted on my free time!

I still keep my hand in spoofing, but I'm down to one a week, not seven a day...lol

Debbie

 
From General Discussion / The forums are back!
Posted 2 Dec 13 08:43
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Have you added a like button?

I ask because I wanted to press it on your post

Debbie

Edit: I must update my avatar, that's an ancient pic of me.
Edit2: That's better

 
From News Discussion / Many Brits choose to take their holidays online
Posted 7 Jul 13 21:11
Message
Damn! This is a great idea!!!!!

Debbie

 
From Magazine Discussion / Memoirs of Judge Elliphont Harding
Posted 21 May 13 14:42
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Ok. Where do I sign?

I've registered, and can see nowt.

Debbie

 
From Magazine Discussion / The God of Data - A Lesson From the Book of Dataronomy
Posted 11 May 13 20:51
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Well that's an hour of my life I won't get back...it's a good job I enjoyed watching all 9 of your videos, really.

Debbie

 
From News Discussion / Isle of Wight News - A3054 to have the potholes filled
Posted 21 Mar 13 12:48
Message
So that vet got there and said "I'm going to have to put the horse down."

Horrified by-standers shouted "Why?"

And the vet replied, "Because he's heavy and my arms are aching."

Ba-dum.

(C) Tommy Cooper.

Debbie

 
From News Discussion / Isle of Wight News - A3054 to have the potholes filled
Posted 20 Mar 13 20:07
Message
I would just like to take this opportunity to thank Victor for kicking awake the bit of my brain that writes Wight stories.

Thank you.

sadly I have more ideas than paper. So I keep forgetting the ideas. Some of them stick around long enough to get to the computer to write it down.

Oh there's another one. Flower Pots!

Back in a bit, I need to put it into a story.

Debbie

 
From News Discussion / Isle of Wight News - Don't Forget to Move your Calendar to 2013
Posted 12 Mar 13 18:33
Message
Blimey you don't log onto your old male stuff for a long time, and it takes a while, doesn't it? I even had a text message from Google to check I was still me. I'd have thought of all the companies in the world, the one that knows me best would be Google, but it still didn't believe it was me until I'd pasted in a copy of both parent's birth certificates, and given Google my Blockbuster's Membership number (in lieu of a passport, as it is harder to get a Blockbuster's Membership than a passport).

Anyway...

All done now Vic

Debbie

 
From News Discussion / Isle of Wight News - Don't Forget to Move your Calendar to 2013
Posted 11 Mar 13 22:49
Message
5 from me, and I'll put it on the blog...just as soon as I remember the login details....

Debbie

 
From News Discussion / Next Pope will be elected through an X-Factor style show
Posted 10 Mar 13 13:33
Message
Kat...are you suggesting Dope Pope?

Debbie

 
From News Discussion / February 15th will henceforth be termed Singles Day
Posted 21 Feb 13 09:28
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Nah, Shingles Day is on March 5th.

Debbie

 
From News Discussion / February 15th will henceforth be termed Singles Day
Posted 18 Feb 13 07:49
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Its being run by greengrocer's.

Debbie

 
From News Discussion / Growing Trend: Babies Named After Fonts
Posted 9 Feb 13 13:57
Message
I agree! Very good. 5 from me too.

Bernard Baskerville

 
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