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From General Discussion / Hurricane Sandy
Posted 30 Oct 12 23:10
Message
Stay safe Gentlemen.

All the best.

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Ali Bullo To Remove The 'Big Jimmy' From Kebab Van Menus
Posted 28 Oct 12 20:35
Message
Cheers Frankie.

Too easy to go OTT with a story like this. To be honest with you, I was once infatuated with an eleven year old girl. Mind you, I was the same age myself. I used to fantasize about rescuing her from a fire or some similar disaster.

I think her family moved to Australia.

I don't blame them.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Ali Bullo To Remove The 'Big Jimmy' From Kebab Van Menus
Posted 28 Oct 12 14:24
Message
Cheers mate

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / Jimmy Savile
Posted 25 Oct 12 14:11
Message
 
From General Discussion / Jimmy Savile
Posted 24 Oct 12 17:13
Message
Who knows where it'll all end?

Shameful.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / Slavery, thats what it is, Slavery
Posted 24 Oct 12 17:09
Message
You leave my missus out of this, you cad. She's good to me. Too good in fact. So good that she's got me typing this with a loaded gun aimed at my head.

I have to laugh...because she's a really crap shot.

BLAM!

*THUD*

 
From General Discussion / Dear Spoof
Posted 23 Oct 12 19:47
Message
Dear Spoof

Please convey my thanks to Mr Hobbs.

Aaaaarrrrrrghhhh!

Desperate.

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / Waiting
Posted 23 Oct 12 17:47
Message
I'm waiting to watch United v Braga in the CL. Been up since 5 this morning, and feeling a bit cream crackered, but once the match starts, I'll be waiting for bedtime.

ZZzzzzzzzz......lovely.....


Regardzzzzzzzzzzzz

Hup! Sorry....

Skoob

 
From General Discussion / Which living or historic person would you like to bitch-slap?
Posted 23 Oct 12 17:37
Message
Pyromaniacs? Blow em all up!

Regards

Skoob.

 
From Magazine Discussion / My life as a man #23
Posted 23 Oct 12 17:03
Message
Only thing I can say is "Bravo!"

Read this. A fitting tribute to a lifelong friend.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / Which living or historic person would you like to bitch-slap?
Posted 23 Oct 12 16:24
Message
Richard Madeley

Jimmy Savile

Michael Jackson

Jack The Ripper

Hitler

Pontius Pilate

Jose Mourinho

Will Self

Salman Rushdie

Ian Hislop

And if I was a girl - not that I'd in any way condone violence against the fairer sex:

Princess Diana

Katie Price

Joan Collins

Denise Richards (The Agony Aunt from This Morning)

Kerry Katona

And if I was gay: Jimmy Summerville and that bloke I used to work with.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / Which living or historic person would you like to bitch-slap?
Posted 22 Oct 12 16:58
Message
I'd bitch slap John Terry if I could. Trouble is, he's bigger than me, and younger than me, so he'd probably kick me head in and then chat the wife up.

Or something.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / Does Anyone Know....
Posted 22 Oct 12 15:56
Message
John,

Are you clicking the correct link? It's the one at the bottom which says: 'Didscuss This Story In The Forum'

Hope this helps.

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / Let's Talk About Sex
Posted 21 Oct 12 20:44
Message
Phil,

That's a pretty awful acronym.

We were talking about sex. I've been wanked off in a bus stop.

Oh yes!

True that, Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / Let's Talk About Sex
Posted 21 Oct 12 18:08
Message
And when you're fucked all over the place...

You are completely fucked.

Just sayin'

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Downturn at Downton Abbey - Financial crisis can't even escape fictional historical drama
Posted 21 Oct 12 16:08
Message
BLIMEY!

5er

Regards

Skoob

 
From Magazine Discussion / Lecture in Nottingham by Prof. Grimesworthy
Posted 21 Oct 12 15:19
Message
A different and hugely enjoyable approach to story telling by our very own inch high private eye.

5 from me.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / 1966 World Cup Final Footage Was Doctored By BBC Technicians - England Have Never Won The World Cup!
Posted 21 Oct 12 01:18
Message
Not even worthy of a comment...

Just sayin'

 
From General Discussion / Let's Talk About Sex
Posted 20 Oct 12 21:01
Message
It's a wonderful and beautiful thing when it's shared with the love of one's life. It isn't bad even when you aren't all that bothered who you're doing it with.

I did it once, and found it quite enjoyable, even though there was only myslef present.

But when you get to my age, a nice steak and kidney pie seems more wholesome than drooling over Britney Spears dressed as a schoolgirl.

Or is it just me?

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / Dear Spoof
Posted 20 Oct 12 20:11
Message
Dear Spoof

While we're on the subject of books - the Dorking Review 2 is coming out soon. And there's a launch piss up at the Coal Hole on December 15th.

I hope I don't fall off Waterloo Bridge, but I'll be buggered if I'm paying four squids for a one stop tube ride.

(Take note TFL)

Bobby Bollocks
Southampton.

 
From Magazine Discussion / Presidential Order protects voters this election
Posted 20 Oct 12 13:55
Message
"Safety conscientious" or "Safety conscious"? "Insure" or "Ensure"?

Couldn't make head or tail of this.

Just sayin'

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / Jaggedone's Book is on the shelves!
Posted 20 Oct 12 13:47
Message
Did I just say 'bacon tree'? I meant a 'ham bush.'

AND THAT'S MY FINAL WORD ON THIS!

I'm locking this thread. Now then, now then, where's me keys...?

Victor Vanquish
Scarborough

 
From General Discussion / Jaggedone's Book is on the shelves!
Posted 20 Oct 12 13:45
Message
The Coal Hole Firm? It's probably a bacon tree.

AND THAT'S MY FINAL WORD ON THIS!

N Pledge
Poland.

 
From General Discussion / Jaggedone's Book is on the shelves!
Posted 20 Oct 12 13:20
Message
There is no 'Coal Hole Firm.'

AND THAT'S MY FINAL WORD ON THE SUBJECT!

Captain Maggot
The Strand.


 
From News Discussion / O.J. will sell 'murder knife' for $5 million--Jimmy Hoffa found during prison cavity search!
Posted 20 Oct 12 13:16
Message
Frankie

Skip the "this" from the end of the first para, so that it reads "at the time of writing."

Other than that it reads well. And for once I get this, because I'm familiar with the characters and situations involved.

There's room for a couple of jokes in there too, like about 'the glove' and the low speed getaway car, and possibly where the authorities had been concentrating their efforts in the search for Hoffa's body. Or maybe that would be too much and bloat the whole thing.

Regards

Skoob.

 
416 Pages - «« « 3 4 [5] 6 7 » »»
Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

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