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From General Discussion / Let's Talk About Sex
Posted 21 Oct 12 20:44
Message
Phil,

That's a pretty awful acronym.

We were talking about sex. I've been wanked off in a bus stop.

Oh yes!

True that, Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / Let's Talk About Sex
Posted 21 Oct 12 18:08
Message
And when you're fucked all over the place...

You are completely fucked.

Just sayin'

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Downturn at Downton Abbey - Financial crisis can't even escape fictional historical drama
Posted 21 Oct 12 16:08
Message
BLIMEY!

5er

Regards

Skoob

 
From Magazine Discussion / Lecture in Nottingham by Prof. Grimesworthy
Posted 21 Oct 12 15:19
Message
A different and hugely enjoyable approach to story telling by our very own inch high private eye.

5 from me.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / 1966 World Cup Final Footage Was Doctored By BBC Technicians - England Have Never Won The World Cup!
Posted 21 Oct 12 01:18
Message
Not even worthy of a comment...

Just sayin'

 
From General Discussion / Let's Talk About Sex
Posted 20 Oct 12 21:01
Message
It's a wonderful and beautiful thing when it's shared with the love of one's life. It isn't bad even when you aren't all that bothered who you're doing it with.

I did it once, and found it quite enjoyable, even though there was only myslef present.

But when you get to my age, a nice steak and kidney pie seems more wholesome than drooling over Britney Spears dressed as a schoolgirl.

Or is it just me?

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / Dear Spoof
Posted 20 Oct 12 20:11
Message
Dear Spoof

While we're on the subject of books - the Dorking Review 2 is coming out soon. And there's a launch piss up at the Coal Hole on December 15th.

I hope I don't fall off Waterloo Bridge, but I'll be buggered if I'm paying four squids for a one stop tube ride.

(Take note TFL)

Bobby Bollocks
Southampton.

 
From Magazine Discussion / Presidential Order protects voters this election
Posted 20 Oct 12 13:55
Message
"Safety conscientious" or "Safety conscious"? "Insure" or "Ensure"?

Couldn't make head or tail of this.

Just sayin'

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / Jaggedone's Book is on the shelves!
Posted 20 Oct 12 13:47
Message
Did I just say 'bacon tree'? I meant a 'ham bush.'

AND THAT'S MY FINAL WORD ON THIS!

I'm locking this thread. Now then, now then, where's me keys...?

Victor Vanquish
Scarborough

 
From General Discussion / Jaggedone's Book is on the shelves!
Posted 20 Oct 12 13:45
Message
The Coal Hole Firm? It's probably a bacon tree.

AND THAT'S MY FINAL WORD ON THIS!

N Pledge
Poland.

 
From General Discussion / Jaggedone's Book is on the shelves!
Posted 20 Oct 12 13:20
Message
There is no 'Coal Hole Firm.'

AND THAT'S MY FINAL WORD ON THE SUBJECT!

Captain Maggot
The Strand.


 
From News Discussion / O.J. will sell 'murder knife' for $5 million--Jimmy Hoffa found during prison cavity search!
Posted 20 Oct 12 13:16
Message
Frankie

Skip the "this" from the end of the first para, so that it reads "at the time of writing."

Other than that it reads well. And for once I get this, because I'm familiar with the characters and situations involved.

There's room for a couple of jokes in there too, like about 'the glove' and the low speed getaway car, and possibly where the authorities had been concentrating their efforts in the search for Hoffa's body. Or maybe that would be too much and bloat the whole thing.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / Jaggedone's Book is on the shelves!
Posted 20 Oct 12 04:33
Message
You ungrateful, heartless bastard!

The lad poured his heart and soul into that work of "sheer warped genius" (Burnley Express)

There's nothing wrong with the good old days! Damn your eyes! Times of...well, we won't go there.

I wish him well.

Every success!

HUZZAH!

Judas.

 
From General Discussion / Jaggedone's Book is on the shelves!
Posted 20 Oct 12 01:51
Message
Who'd have thought our very own cutting edge reporter has a book out?

That must have been the world's most closely guarded secret.

Has it got acronyms in it?

I shan't be buying it anyway. For obvious reasons. But then I shan't be slagging it off in the comments sections of Amazon etc. either. Like certain warped individuals do. I might have considered it, had it featured Maggot Armies, Messiahs and Judas's, but as it stands I'd rather read Simon Cowell's autobiography.

I asked in Tesco when I popped in after work earlier tonight if they had it in stock, but the pimply faced shelf stacker off the night shift just looked at me as if I'd gone out as he shrugged and pointed haplessly at the beer aisle.

That was all the inspiration I needed.

Go Jaggy!

This time next year you'll be a billionaire!

Regards

Skoob.

 
From Magazine Discussion / My life as a man #22
Posted 19 Oct 12 11:31
Message
I enjoyed it Frankie. Good to know that kids in America are finally wising up!

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / Jimmy Savile
Posted 18 Oct 12 12:16
Message
They always used to say that goalkeepers are a weird bunch.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / Jimmy Savile
Posted 18 Oct 12 01:03
Message
No need for me to go too deeply into reasons for writing here - I've bored people to virtual death with all that.

As for submitting - I've had a few knockbacks. Sometimes I've agreed and sometimes I've disagreed with decisions, as I'm sure we all have. I tend to just try to keep calm and carry on.

I'm displaying my goods in somebody else's shop window, and I respect that. I wouldn't be too pleased if somebody swanned into our house and crapped on the sofa...if you see what I mean.

This only my opinion, but I think anything's fair game for satire, no matter how distasteful or abhorrent a real life incident may have been. It's how people do it that counts.

I recall watching a TV News report about a gun rampage where several innocent people lost their lives, and a reporter quite callously asked a police spokesman if the bodies had been left out in the open on a hot day as investigations continued. That aspect sickened me, and I spoofed it, wanting to take a pop at the bloodthirsty media.

It wasn't really funny, more of an angry rant about insensitivity. There's always an angle.

Also saw a post relating to 'mutual understanding' between US and other contributors. As in - do we understand what we're approving/disapproving? I approve a lot of US stories involving people I've never heard of, or could care less about. There's celeb stuff and sports stuff - unlike Frankie I don't always have the time or the inclination to Google subjects - but generally I'll approve, providing it doesn't contravene the general rules.

And as for the app center (sic) I must confess that I haven't really been as active as I should have been over the last couple of weeks, but that's purely attributable to personal circumstances.

As for so-called 'men' who abuse women, either physically, mentally, or in some online fantasy existence as a tormentor - not my bag.

I'm going to start ranting now, so I'd better shut up.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / Jimmy Savile
Posted 17 Oct 12 03:05
Message
 
From General Discussion / Jimmy Savile
Posted 17 Oct 12 02:50
Message
Frankie,

I think I know you well enough by now to know that you wouldn't make light of a situation regarding child molestation.

And I know you'd never do that.

The lizard people thing is a reference to a guy named David Icke (Google him) a former sports reporter who currently conducts 'lecture' tours, and has some pretty weird theories.

One of which suggested something along the lines of a cabal of 'lizard people' who are really aliens, who run the earth from some subterranean cave. In South America or somewhere.

Personally, I think he's crackers, but having said that, he has his adherents.

Not for me to criticise - I can only give a personal opinion.

He is a bit mental though. (In my opinion.)

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / Jimmy Savile
Posted 17 Oct 12 00:53
Message
Can't see why you're pissed off mate. Seems to me that we're all singing from the same hymnn sheet.

And Frankie - just for information - you got it wrong sbout the British press. Every newspaper is a private enterprise. They tend to have political affiliations in much the same way that Fox News and others do The BBC is state funded, but in its basic code of practice has always been for free editorial control. It is far from being a propoganda machine. (Despite complaints from the right that it leans too far to the left, and vice versa when it suits people with vested political interests.)

Although some people would - as is their right - dispute that.

The Savile case will be thoroughly investigated.

Albeit decades too late.

Anyone who covered anything up should be made to pay. And I'm reasonably certain that we all hope they are.

By the same token - what's been going on for decades in the Catholic Church needs to be exposed, and justice needs to be served.

As a Catholic myself, I don't hesitate to demand this. What I will say, is that as this was going on among Catholics...it's never happened among any other religious group?

These freaks know no boundaries - whether it's an internationally renowned media outlet, or one of the world's leading religions.

This problem needs resolving across the board. And I'm sure we all hope it is.

I could probably have argued my point a little better, but it's late, I'm tired, and I've had a very unpleasant last few days.

Just don't interpret this as a taking a pop at anyone here - because I'm not - I just want to see justice, for all victims.

Sincerely

Skoob.

 
From Magazine Discussion / A Londoner's guide to Yorkshire
Posted 16 Oct 12 11:52
Message
Is this true? Have five anyway.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / The Chippy thread
Posted 16 Oct 12 11:46
Message
Best fish and chips I ever had were from a Greek owned chippy opposite Brighton Pier. Lovely!

Regards

Skoob

 
From General Discussion / That'll Teach Em
Posted 14 Oct 12 23:33
Message
Sometimes things happen under people's noses, but they just don't smell it.

Just sayin'

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / Baumgartner Skydive
Posted 14 Oct 12 16:59
Message
120,000 feet...mad if you ask me. He's on his way up as I type this. I hope he makes it.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From Magazine Discussion / Football Gossip & comments 7th September 2012
Posted 14 Oct 12 03:26
Message
Can I make a constructive comment on this and others in the cycle? No? I will anyway.

It's a bit of a rip off posting these items on an almost daily basis, with very little writer input, or criticism. These things are just quotes, followed by a couple of words of comment.

Bear with me here...

People use the Magazine section of the site to try out experimental and creative writing. That isn't the sort of thing you can knock out on a daily basis with twelve words of comment on eighty nine words of quotation.

And it swamps the Magazine section.

Okay - this is where the constructive part comes in.

Why not collate the quotes over a longer period - a week, or a month - and then make some genuinely scathing remarks, Fanzine style?

I'm not trying to be negative - quite the contrary - it's just that these pieces seem to be rushed when they don't need to be. In this case, it saves clogging up the Mag section if there's more time devoted to them, and it makes for something people may want to read, as opposed to two or three words strung on the end of a quote from a newspaper.

Last suggestion - be biased. That's what makes fanzines function.

It would be infinitely more interesting.

Regards

Skoob.

 
416 Pages - «« « 3 4 [5] 6 7 » »»
Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

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