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From News Discussion / Jehovah's Witnesses to Deliver Mail
Posted 21 Dec 08 23:56
Message
Ecclesiastes? Scriptures? Proseletizting?
Way too deep and heavy for me.
Merry Christmas.

 
From General Discussion / merry x-mas! I wish it would STAY cold outside!
Posted 21 Dec 08 23:48
Message
Happy Holidays, that's crap that is.

In the words of the immortal Mister Dennis Leary:

Have A Merry Fucking Christmas


 
From General Discussion / Champions
Posted 21 Dec 08 23:43
Message
Of the world.
How good's that, coming from a Salford boy?

Liverpool 18?

We're on the case.

 
From General Discussion / Is there a 'osting limit'?
Posted 21 Dec 08 23:13
Message
No.

 
From General Discussion / Is there a 'osting limit'?
Posted 21 Dec 08 23:13
Message

Quote: linda warnke

You know, from reading over these boards I'm sensing a definite obsession with aspartame. I'd really like to know more. Can some of you share your aspartame experiences with this newbie?


 
From General Discussion / Is there a 'osting limit'?
Posted 21 Dec 08 23:10
Message
We all talk bollocks really.
Except that I'm, not allowed to say bollocks.
Sir mark told me off for that.
Saying bollocks.
If I said bollix like that Roddy Doyle fellow, or said 'feck' instead of fuck, I'd be okay.

In the words of the immortal Mister Dennis Leary

Have A Merry Fucking Christmas.

Love, Skoob1999

 
From News Discussion / Newly-Discovered Adolf Hitler Diary Blames Spike Milligan For His Downfall
Posted 21 Dec 08 21:57
Message
You know what Monkey?
You're an animal.

Happy Christmas to you and yours.

 
From General Discussion / pennies from heaven!!!!!!!! Amazing!!!
Posted 21 Dec 08 18:40
Message
I was going to reply to this.
But I got distracted. Merry Christmas everyone

 
From News Discussion / Jehovah's Witnesses to Deliver Mail
Posted 21 Dec 08 18:35
Message
Five stars anyway.
For using complicated words.
Keep em coming.

 
From News Discussion / Jehovah's Witnesses to Deliver Mail
Posted 21 Dec 08 18:31
Message
Mrs Skoob tells me that it means to convert from one faith to another.
Big long words are all just big long words to me.
Merry Christmas everyone.

 
From News Discussion / Jehovah's Witnesses to Deliver Mail
Posted 21 Dec 08 18:26
Message
How exactly does one proselytize?
We should be told.

 
From News Discussion / Jesus Budda says he's not writing any more stories. Nobody gives a sh*t.
Posted 21 Dec 08 18:21
Message
That's a good point.

 
From News Discussion / Jesus Budda says he's not writing any more stories. Nobody gives a sh*t.
Posted 21 Dec 08 18:21
Message
That's a good point.

 
From News Discussion / Newly-Discovered Adolf Hitler Diary Blames Spike Milligan For His Downfall
Posted 21 Dec 08 18:04
Message
Dear Phil Edgars Bones and Monkey Woods,
Respect.
As for the Milligan geezer, you've got to see the Pakistani Dalek sketch.
It's on you tube.
'Mr Chakrabhorty's not well'
'Why's that?'
I exterminated him.'

Happy Christmas to you both.

Do you live together?

 
From General Discussion / Is It Just Me Or...
Posted 15 Dec 08 22:03
Message
Yeah, old Twiglet might be knocking on a bit but she's still worth sharing a cab with.

Merry Christmas, and to hell with all this 'Happy Holiday' crap.

I had a Christmas break in NYC once and it was so cold my teeth exploded and my bum fell off.

 
From General Discussion / Is It Just Me Or...
Posted 12 Dec 08 17:53
Message
Is that girl with the curly hair off the M&S adverts just drop dead gorgeous?
Every time I see her she makes me smile.
I once showed her picture to Mrs Skoob, who wasn't impressed.
I was impressed though.
God, talk about going weak at the knees...

 
From News Discussion / Zombies - Nothing To Be Scared Of Says Drunken Scientist
Posted 3 Dec 08 23:36
Message
Wires crossed?
Or is it just me?
Answers on the back of a fifty squid note.

 
From News Discussion / England Pays Tribute To Its Football Hooligan Heroes
Posted 3 Dec 08 23:32
Message
I've been on that bus too.
Toughest assignment: Aston Villa - fuckers never know when they're beaten, they just keep coming back.
Most hostile place: Cardiff - 'You won't be going back there will you boyo.'
I still have nightmares.

 
From News Discussion / House Of Horrors - Police Search Continues
Posted 3 Dec 08 23:27
Message
We've all had it Blaster. If it wasn't the oriental woman it was fucking white horses frolicking in rivers.
Nice to know that someone else has been damaged for life.

 
From General Discussion / Christmas presents
Posted 3 Nov 08 00:21
Message
Dear Buckwheat's Butt
Bookseller?
I should be so lucky.
Best Regards.

 
From General Discussion / Christmas presents
Posted 2 Nov 08 18:29
Message
Dear Bent Copper
Did I once hear you say, 'Don't be silly son. give me the gun..'
And did you also know that Jack 'Dickson Of Dock Green' Warner was in his eighties when he filmed that series, and that further, he had dodgy knees.
Stick with me son, look and learn.

 
From News Discussion / I Shagged Jonathan Ross's Grandma Says Manuel
Posted 1 Nov 08 11:28
Message
Thanks for the feedback. Glad you enjoyed it. I'm just surprised that nobody else thought to hit it from that angle.

 
From News Discussion / Nebula Federation chooses planet Earth as the official 'Intergalactic Fool Repository.'
Posted 24 Oct 08 01:04
Message
My Dear Rusty

You are on Arthur Pewty's hit list.
Expect a bad day, like maybe your alarm clock won't go off or something.
You have been warned.
Neasden won't tolerate disrespect.

Arthur Pewty is no gangster, nor a Monty Python character, he is alive, and living in Neasden.

 
From News Discussion / Dog Shits Everywhere When Owner Collapses - Doesn't Dial 911
Posted 17 Oct 08 20:55
Message
You're very welcome Duncan. As I type this I've got one cat just sprung onto my lap and a second one trying to look hard done by. They think I'll probably feed them, the suckers. I'm more likely to to take the bastards out the back and cut their fucking throats with my trusty Sabatier.

 
From News Discussion / Black-and-White Army to be SAVED by Trillionaires!
Posted 17 Oct 08 13:59
Message
Oh yes, like anybody gives a fuck...

 
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Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

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