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From News Discussion / Bears WR tells Scottish reporter about Viagra use in the NFL
Posted 1 Dec 12 15:48
Message
Just watching England v The All Blacks. 15-14. Game on!

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / National HIV Screening Week Starts In The UK Today!
Posted 1 Dec 12 13:40
Message
Why can't I get Mogadishu up on Google Street View?

Just askin'

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / Great Sporting Obscenities
Posted 1 Dec 12 13:18
Message
Haven't seen the Flintoff 'fight' yet so can't comment on that. I think Clive's right about women boxing though. Not being sexist or anything - there are ample medical grounds which suggest that women boxing is not necessarily such a good idea.

Just my opinion.

Having been a fight fan for as long as I can remember, it was a joy looking at Clive's link. Mr Hagler was always one of my favourites, and Hearns could throw a punch too. I think it was Reg Gutteridge the ITV commentator at the fight who said: "And Hearns is reduced to a spot of involuntary breakdancing!" when Hagler connected.

Having been around during the golden age of the heavyweights, Ali, Foreman, Frazier, Norton, Terrell, Quarry, Holmes (In his early days) - when any one of the top ten could have been a champion in his own right, and the welter/middlewight dream years of Hagler, Leonard, Duran and co - I think as well as being priveleged I've been a bit spoiled too.

Things don't seem so great at the moment, but as usually happens, somebody will step up and become a sensation in one division or other.

Anyway, thanks for the clip Clive. I think the Hagler/Hearns fight still holds the record for the most punches traded in a title fight in history.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / National HIV Screening Week Starts In The UK Today!
Posted 1 Dec 12 12:25
Message
I remember when the AIDS thing first reared its ugly head, back in the day when it was referred to as the 'gay plague.'

I mentioned in conversation down the pub that one of the most common things to happen with full blown AIDS was the onset of skin cancers, which often proved fatal due to the immune system being destroyed.

This bloke said to me: "How can you die of cancer if you've got AIDS? Don't talk like a cunt."

You see what I have to put up with?

As for Africa, and people hacking other people to pieces with machetes - there's an awful lot of money out there in the form of natural resources, just waiting to be mined, or tapped. Most people want a piece of that, and are prepared to fight for it.

Not dissimilar to the pioneer/gold rush days in America's infancy as a nation.

And to suggest that everyone down there is running around with machetes hacking bits off their neighbours is a tad misleading. I know this bloke who's African...etc etc etc.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / TV Choice.
Posted 30 Nov 12 04:09
Message
I've got a 3D telly. Cost me an arm and a leg. And a foot and a toe.

55"

There's still fuck all on.

I dunno...

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / Dear Spoof
Posted 30 Nov 12 03:59
Message
Dear Spoof

You're getting way too sinister for my liking.

Normal Bates

Route 66.

 
From News Discussion / Texas vet says DNA proves Bigfoot is part human, 'At least his penis is'
Posted 30 Nov 12 03:55
Message
In a gay way?

Just axn'

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / The Big Match!
Posted 30 Nov 12 03:49
Message
I don't want to hear this!

Do you hear me?

You don't?

Ah well...

*Adjusts iPod volume and ignores abuse.*



 
From General Discussion / People Who Should Seriously Consider Changing Their Name By Deed Poll
Posted 28 Nov 12 00:26
Message
At one place I worked, somebody had written on the toilet wall in marker pen: "Is Rod's wife called Tess?"

I didn't get it for a while, until I recalled that a bloke on the opposite shift's name was Rod Tickle.

True dat.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From Magazine Discussion / Quentin Kelp MP - A Wind Up
Posted 27 Nov 12 04:31
Message
Glorious!

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / Life's Great Pleasures
Posted 27 Nov 12 01:48
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My greatest pleasure is slathering, ganging up in a ratio of 12:1, losing two consecutive night's sleep, before folding like a girl and projectile vomiting into a brightly coloured plastic bucket.

Oh, and being the real secret owner/operator/admin of the Spoof, and Mark Lowton's sinister alter ego.

Oh, and beer, ciggies, black pudding, real gravy on chips, and Hollands pies with mushy peas, lashings of malt vinegar, and salt and pepper.

Oh, and watching United tank Bayern Munich and Chelsea in the last minute of the Champions League Final.

And the wife's all right. Although she does go on a bit sometimes.

And having a nice lie in.

And of course, The Spoof!

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / Prison bitches of the world, Unite!
Posted 24 Nov 12 23:19
Message
41 minutes remaining for the Coal Hole writing compo.

Just sayin'

Regards

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / "Dirty Jobs" cancelled but Mike Rowe's new series "Dirty Girls" begins Jan on Discovery
Posted 24 Nov 12 16:49
Message
Sorry Frankie mate. Means nowt to me. I'll consider it for the compo, but don't be rushing to the airport on the off chance...

Stiff upper lip old chap!

Kindest,

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Mechanic Claims To Have Seen The Face Of Christ On Apprentice's Buttocks
Posted 23 Nov 12 18:49
Message
Nice one Clive.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / Bovril
Posted 22 Nov 12 19:55
Message
When I was stood on the summit of Portdown Hill by the kebab van run by Ali Bullo, neath a fluttering Union Jack, as I waited for a chicken shish with the works, I just nipped straight back ito the pub for a pint and a bag of pork scratchings. Because it was cold and windy.

I don't know what the fuck I'm on about here - sleep deprivation - carry on...

Regards

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Dead Man Laughing: 2
Posted 21 Nov 12 22:08
Message
Very true. Probably. Enjoyed this.

5*****

Regards

Skoob.



 
From Magazine Discussion / My life as a man #30
Posted 21 Nov 12 21:22
Message
Frankie

I'm with your Dad on this one.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / The Big Match!
Posted 20 Nov 12 22:10
Message
I remember you Mockney tossers all bottled it and stayed at home when you played United at OT.

ICF my arse.

Mind you, I feel a bit silly typing that, given that I was always too short to ever be classed as a credible hooligan, and that United got beat tonight.

So I think I'll shut up and bugger off to bed.

Before somebody exposes me for the idiot I truly am.

*Hangs head in shame, lights pipe and giggles*

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / Francois Dubois' US of A v Goddamn Limey Fags Quiz Of Doom
Posted 20 Nov 12 19:43
Message
Galatasaray my arse.

I've had rougher nights in Wigan.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / The Big Match!
Posted 20 Nov 12 19:36
Message
This user is banned.

Probably suspended by the neck from a flagpole somewhere.

 
From News Discussion / American Koreans are an endangered species
Posted 18 Nov 12 21:04
Message
Somewhat disturbingly - this shit has been live for 8 days.

That should distinctly not have happened. I appreciate that Mark is busy, but somebody should have red flagged this.

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / Dear Spoof
Posted 18 Nov 12 18:06
Message
Dear Spoof

What is it with Armfeetandtoe? He's got an arm, some feet and a toe. Hopefully not a hump as well.

Of course he's more than welcome. To suggest otherwise would be silly. Be a pleasure to stand him a drinky poo or two.

So, Arm, - who kindly advised you that your presence would not be appreciated?

Be interested to know.

Although I could probably hazard a guess.

Regards

Skoob.



 
From News Discussion / American Koreans are an endangered species
Posted 18 Nov 12 16:01
Message
HIGNFY - Under normal circumstances, I'd probably advise you to edit that comment, but on reflection, I think it's a pretty accurate summation of how the vast majority will feel. Including myself.

The writer wanted a reaction. The writer got it.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / American Koreans are an endangered species
Posted 18 Nov 12 11:25
Message
Absolutely. I doubt that the editor in chief has seen this yet. I'm pretty sure that when he does he'll remove it.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / Message From Churchmouse's Exotic Missus Who's Far Too Good For Him
Posted 17 Nov 12 21:58
Message
Liffey Water, Frankie.

Lovely stuff, but it turns your shit black.

Popular misconception: Guinness isn't actually black. In reality it's a very deep and dark shade of red. As can be seen if you shine a bright light through it.

Not the shit - that would just result in a horrible stinky mess - a pint of Guinness.

True that.

Skoob.

 
416 Pages - « 1 2 [3] 4 5 » »»
Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

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