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From News Discussion / Rolf Harris Stripped in Jail
Posted 13 Jul 15 18:10
Message
It isn't a gem. It's a bag of shit. That's my honest opinion.

It's shit.

And that's the problem here, which it has been for some time.

So what ya gonna do?

 
From News Discussion / Legendary Actor Omar Sharif Dies
Posted 13 Jul 15 18:07
Message
I'm going to PM God (Mark) and warn him that there's a nasty woman who's being abusive towards me on the site.

I'm furious I am.

There ought to be a law against vindictive old bags.

 
From News Discussion / Legendary Actor Omar Sharif Dies
Posted 13 Jul 15 17:58
Message
Ah but I'm quite a handsome dashing chap.

As you know.

I saw the damp patch and can only assume you didn't piss yourself.

 
From News Discussion / Legendary Actor Omar Sharif Dies
Posted 13 Jul 15 17:41
Message
I'm sure he did.

Count me out of your sad existence Queenie.

Ta very much.

 
From News Discussion / Legendary Actor Omar Sharif Dies
Posted 13 Jul 15 17:16
Message
Ha!

Neither of you ever knew the man! The rank hypocrisy on display here is unbelievable!

Coming from somebody who regularly scribbled nonsensical bollocks about murder victims.

Get the fuck over yourself Queenie.

 
From News Discussion / Obama calls Dick Cheney 'worst Vice President ever'
Posted 9 Jul 15 20:38
Message
I didn't get it at all.

 
From News Discussion / Police arrest man who failed to use knife and fork in Didsbury restaurant
Posted 11 Jun 15 22:49
Message
Nice yarn Jack.

Poor chap. Having been tasered myself once for not putting enough malt vinegar on a black pudding at Burnley market, I sympathise entirely with your character.

Pass the ketchup man!

 
From News Discussion / Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen were born conjoined twins
Posted 11 Jun 15 22:44
Message
Hi Bill

I enjoyed this, and I enjoyed your guide to writing spoofs in the magazine section.

I was so impressed that I had the guide laminated, framed and hung on the wall.

I refer to it all the time but it isn't much use as a train timetable.

Sincerely

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / What's Going On?
Posted 11 Jun 15 22:37
Message
Fagin, Dracula and Scaramanga in the same day?

Is God pissed or what?

We should be told.

(A very upset) Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / UK keeps disappearing
Posted 2 Jun 15 20:17
Message
Somehow the UK got filtered out. It's all about America now. Sad, but there you go. Don't want to say...

 
From General Discussion / Evidence that Mark doesn't wear a towel on his head
Posted 23 Apr 15 17:58
Message
I wear a towel on my head when I get out of the bath.

Even though I'm as bald as a coot.

It just feels right.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Cat image sparks social media buzz: Is it taking a dump or having a piss?
Posted 22 Apr 15 16:59
Message
That's a tricky one...

Regards

Skoob

 
From News Discussion / Onion offers To Buy Out Spoof and Eliminate Embarrassing Satire
Posted 19 Apr 15 20:20
Message
Seems he has a thing about bottoms and botty burps.

Waiting by the campfire singing Kumbaya to meself.

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Onion offers To Buy Out Spoof and Eliminate Embarrassing Satire
Posted 17 Apr 15 16:34
Message
Dave,

There's no point grovelling and being nice to me. I don't want to look up your arse, much less kiss it.

Think on.

Kindest

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Onion offers To Buy Out Spoof and Eliminate Embarrassing Satire
Posted 16 Apr 15 18:02
Message
"now" - know. Unless you're a Brummie Dave lad.

"professionaly" - professionally.

Good luck with the comedy career.

Love

Skoob

(Who isn't remotely interested in your arsehole by the way.)



 
From News Discussion / Onion offers To Buy Out Spoof and Eliminate Embarrassing Satire
Posted 16 Apr 15 01:35
Message
Yes Dave, I agree with Duncan. You could do a fantastically hilarious skit about me if you like. I can't write comedy or satire for shit but it's nice to be ripped the piss out of occasionally.*

*Not Wednesdays though. I'm usually busy on Wednesdays.

Regards

Skoob

 
From Magazine Discussion / My Mother Was A Margarine Smuggler
Posted 14 Apr 15 19:05
Message
Interesting.

Regards

Skoob

 
From News Discussion / Charles and Camilla Mark 10th Aniversary With A Good Old Fashioned Wank
Posted 14 Apr 15 19:04
Message
Heh-heh!

That's the way to do it!

Regards

Skoob

 
From General Discussion / spoof editors tampering with writers original material?
Posted 14 Apr 15 19:01
Message
Apparently his real name is Rodney.

Regards

Skoob

 
From General Discussion / Dominique A
Posted 14 Apr 15 18:59
Message
No.

Regards

Skoob

 
From General Discussion / spoof editors tampering with writers original material?
Posted 13 Apr 15 21:10
Message
I don't give a toss either way, so it's a win/win for me!

Regards

Skoob.

PS - Monkey Woods - I'll keep me eyes peeled as soon as the agoraphobia medication kicks in.

 
From General Discussion / spoof editors tampering with writers original material?
Posted 9 Apr 15 06:51
Message
Okay MW. Be round about tea time. What are we having?

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / spoof editors tampering with writers original material?
Posted 8 Apr 15 17:25
Message
Monkey Woods

I tried calling but you didn't answer.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / spoof editors tampering with writers original material?
Posted 7 Apr 15 20:26
Message
I'm not looking up his ...honest!

Why on earth would I want to do that?

Regards

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Shock at Latest Young Briton Tempted Abroad by Extremist Sect
Posted 7 Apr 15 20:22
Message
It's a resounding 'yes' from me Mr Quint.

Regards

Skoob

 
419 Pages - « 1 [2] 3 4 5 » »»
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