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From General Discussion / Lay off Wayne Rooney
Posted 7 Sep 10 22:41
Message
TT/J-Man

Wayne Rooney - Manchester United and England footballer, originally from Liverpool, where he played for Everton.

Rival fans call him Shrek because he's got sticky out ears and a shaved head. Although he isn't green. Although he might be if he gets seasick or something, I wouldn't really know.

Revelations regarding him consorting with £1200 a throw hooker recently revealed. Name: Jennifer Thompson 'Juicy Jenny' according to facebook. When his wife was pregnant. Massive tabloid scandal. Scored for England tonight too.

For the latest UK scandal (and a ton of points) try:

www.thesun.co.uk

It's a tabloid.

Glad to be of service to my jalapeno/tex-mex loving afficionado from Las Cruces.

Take care buddy.

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / Lay off Wayne Rooney
Posted 7 Sep 10 22:13
Message
Yeah mate, but don't forget, you haven't been around that long.

I've been on here two years now and done almost 2,000 stories. If each one of those gets one view a day, it's 2,000 spoof points.

Not that they do, but with the links on other story pages, I tend to get an awful lot of single hits on stories.

Anyway, the chart isn't really any measure of the quality of what you submit. Feedback from fellow writers is far more important - although if you do hit that number one spot, it's a nice feeling.

We all get lucky at some point and have astory that goes stratospheric. I did a load of old crap one time about the man with the world's largest penis and the woman with the world's largest vagina getting axed by a TV channel.

Last time I looked, it had 70 odd thousand hits, and it stayed in the Most Popular thing for months.

Hope this helps you and others.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Steven Gerrard And John Terry Don't Deny 'Knowing' Wayne Rooney Hooker Jennifer 'Juicy Jeni' Thompson
Posted 7 Sep 10 22:02
Message
A die-hard Tory in Liverpool?

Fuck me - are you really Deggsy Hatton on the change?

Did you watch 'Boys From The Blackstuff?'

Or 'Bread' ?

Okay, Carla Lane was a bit of a veggie burger.

Yosser Hughes and Joey Boswell were really Mancs.

The actors I mean.

I love this banter.

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / Lay off Wayne Rooney
Posted 7 Sep 10 21:55
Message
Oh - forgot to add that sometimes we do 'in-jokes' like the one I just did about accents.

It won't get many views but if it makes you laugh then it's job done.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / Lay off Wayne Rooney
Posted 7 Sep 10 21:53
Message
'Littering's' an apt description JP

Trash really.

Highest ranked Rooneygate so far is the Lowry one - 5684 so far. Just checked.

Sometimes it's all in the headline. Well, having said that, about 90% of it is. But the content is important. If you make a genuine effort to amuse and entertain, casual readers go on to other pages, which is good for the site and our fellow writers.

We have had occasions where people push a headline with little to back it up, and that kind of thing just pisses people off. Viewers and other writers alike. Nothing wrong with being short and to the point - providing there is a point.

Regards

Skoob.



 
From News Discussion / Steven Gerrard And John Terry Don't Deny 'Knowing' Wayne Rooney Hooker Jennifer 'Juicy Jeni' Thompson
Posted 7 Sep 10 21:42
Message
Go for it mate.

We know we unite when necessary against a common enemy.

Like Thatcher and her ilk.

It really is great having the crack with you. Stevey G too.

You really should try to make it to one of the Spoof writer meet-ups.

Be a pleasure to buy you guys a pint - or whatever.

Providing it isn't a match day.

Right...putting the gloves on....

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / Guess who's back, back again?
Posted 7 Sep 10 21:34
Message
EQ

Don't you dare leave us!

You're revered among the Spoof family.

If you want points, you can easily just throw in a few celeb names in the headlines.

Doesn't make much difference what name you use in a headline, you can still be serious about drivel.

Now sort it out. Trot on.

As CJ would say:

Toodle pip.

Regards

Skoob.



 
From News Discussion / Steven Gerrard And John Terry Don't Deny 'Knowing' Wayne Rooney Hooker Jennifer 'Juicy Jeni' Thompson
Posted 7 Sep 10 21:27
Message
Cheers JP

All forgiven.

Or is it?

Check my latest.

Kindest

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Steven Gerrard And John Terry Don't Deny 'Knowing' Wayne Rooney Hooker Jennifer 'Juicy Jeni' Thompson
Posted 7 Sep 10 20:57
Message
Thanks QM

Fived some of yours today too.

It's just them bloody Mickey Mousers.

With their Stanley knives and their Kkkkentuckkkkky Fried Chickkkkkkkkkken.

Calm down lar!

Just kiddin'

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Steven Gerrard And John Terry Don't Deny 'Knowing' Wayne Rooney Hooker Jennifer 'Juicy Jeni' Thompson
Posted 7 Sep 10 20:51
Message
Blatantly fabricated.

Ask JP

Tightwad Scouse git didn't even give me a star.

Words fail...

Regards

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Rooneygate: Sponsor Slogans Drove Wayne Rooney to Jennifer Thompson Scandal?
Posted 7 Sep 10 20:48
Message
What?

You chase flutterbys?

With a net?

What's that all about then?

I was once studied by an ologist.

A criminologist.

Bastard told me that me head was empty.

Regards

Skoob

 
From General Discussion / Lay off Wayne Rooney
Posted 7 Sep 10 20:38
Message
Probably that Bishop fellow.

The stand-up.

Either that or Phil 'Pinnochio' Thompson.

If you're Tommy Smith I'm not playing.

I'm not that fucking mad

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / Switzerland v England
Posted 7 Sep 10 20:09
Message
Nah Cap

I know nothing.

I just guess.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Was MI6 cryptography unit shadowing Andy Coulson's News of the World phone hackers?
Posted 7 Sep 10 20:04
Message
Another election looming QM?

I said I'd give the buggers 12 months max...

As I recall, you predicted 10.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From Magazine Discussion / Have YOU Ever Thought About Cutting Someone's Head Off?
Posted 7 Sep 10 20:01
Message
Right now JP I am contemplating stitching up my lips and my arse.

Bloody virus.

And don't tell me I'm full of crap...

I already know that.

Regards my puddled liver friend,

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / Switzerland v England
Posted 7 Sep 10 19:58
Message
Cap,

I have no idea what you're on about.

The Swiss have a full back called Lichsteiner - I'm just wondering if that meens he licks beer glasses.

1-0 England right now.

Much more interesting reading Fergus's Noel Gallagher Buys Slane Castle story.

Proper made me laugh that did.

The man should spend less time up on the roof and more time at the keyboard.

Always makes me laugh he does. And sometimes shit meself but I expect that's too much information...

Regards

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Noel Gallagher pays 25 million Euro for Irelands iconic rock venue, Slane Castle.
Posted 7 Sep 10 19:47
Message
Absolutely five thumb brilliant Fergus.

You really should write more.

Whoever you really are.

Did you get the roofing contract off the tightwad City supporting bitter bluenose knuckle dragger?

Regards

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Local Oklahoma Satanist Cult to Perform Reverse Exorcism
Posted 7 Sep 10 19:22
Message
Commercial reverse exorcisms.

Cute notion.

5 from me Charpa.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / Switzerland v England
Posted 7 Sep 10 18:57
Message
Suppose I'll watch that shite now.

Wonder if they'll have a Basel Fawlty moment.

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Coleen Rooney ' weeping madonna' crop circle appears on Old Trafford pitch
Posted 7 Sep 10 18:35
Message
Why thank you very much!

I really appreciate it.

You are a darling really.

(Don't believe the others.)

Kindest

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / Lay off Wayne Rooney
Posted 7 Sep 10 18:32
Message
I kind of like JP too.

He's interesting.

I bet he's a proper smart-arsed gobshite in real life.

Whoah JP!

Put the Stanley knife down son. I was just kiddin'!

Regards

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Coleen Rooney ' weeping madonna' crop circle appears on Old Trafford pitch
Posted 7 Sep 10 18:29
Message
And nightmares.

Don't get that Paxman chap started.

Bit under the weather at the mo and not really up for verbal jousting with Scousers

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / Lay off Wayne Rooney
Posted 7 Sep 10 18:15
Message

Quote: Jeremy Paxman

Anyone (a) from Croxteth (or 'Crocky'), (b) has played for the bitters (Everton) or (c) plays for Man Utd is fair game.

The fact he is all three makes it my sovereign duty to ridicule the cunt.

Aside from that small contribution, I can only continue to pray each evening that he dies of a horrible wasting disease.


JP

You got anybody worth ridiculing these days?

Calm down mate!

I was just sayin'

Regards

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Merrygold Talks Girls Aloud, Sugababes, Saturdays
Posted 7 Sep 10 18:09
Message
I see the one thumb bandit's had a go at this story.

Never mind Danielle - I liked it.

And welcome to the Spoof.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / Lay off Wayne Rooney
Posted 7 Sep 10 17:20
Message
He makes himself fair game.

And I'm a United fan.

Just sayin'

Skoob.

 
416 Pages - «« « 178 179 [180] 181 182 » »»
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