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From General Discussion / What A Rip Off
Posted 10 Sep 10 00:53
Message
It's a shit job Cap, but somebody has to do it.

Yer mate in Blighty

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / My Wife Thinks I'm So Dull...
Posted 10 Sep 10 00:32
Message
Cheat on her Jimbo. Then brag about it.

That'll sort it.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / What A Rip Off
Posted 10 Sep 10 00:29
Message
I never!

She's asleep.

I'll tell her in the morning.

Night Fergus,

Regards,

Monkey Woods.

 
From General Discussion / It'll All End In Tears
Posted 10 Sep 10 00:27
Message
Just watching Coronation Street that the wife Sky plussed.

I see Tyrone and Molly are calling Kevin's baby Jack, after Jack Duckworth, and that they've asked Kevin (the father) to be the Godfather, and Sally to be the Godmother.

And Ken Barlow's gone to Leeds to meet his long lost middle-aged son and his gay grandson.

Nothing good's going to come of this.

Mark my words.

Regards

Skoob.



 
From General Discussion / What A Rip Off
Posted 10 Sep 10 00:23
Message
Where's what?

I'm getting confused again now.

Go easy on me. I've got a virus.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / What A Rip Off
Posted 10 Sep 10 00:18
Message
And Ken Barlow.

Not that he was an apostle, but he probably would have been had he been around at the time.

Did you notice how I missed out the comma?

Mind games mate.

Regards

Colonel Juan.

 
From News Discussion / The Wild, the Innocent and the LAX shuttle
Posted 10 Sep 10 00:14
Message
Probably wise to not do so Ferg.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / The "Exclamations Only" Thread
Posted 10 Sep 10 00:12
Message
Ferg and me in colour!

Lovely!!!!!!!!!

Ferg taught me how to do this!

On a correspondence course!

 
From General Discussion / What A Rip Off
Posted 10 Sep 10 00:06
Message
That ad on the site that asks if you want to live/study/work in the USA?

I just clicked the 'no' box for a laugh, and it came up with an application form.

What's that all about?

Regards

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / The Wild, the Innocent and the LAX shuttle
Posted 9 Sep 10 23:58
Message
If it looks too good to be true Fergus, it probably is.

Like buying leather furniture on a buy now - pay later basis.

Only ever end in tears.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Colin Farrell: Go West, Jung Man!
Posted 9 Sep 10 23:48
Message
Personally, I'm all in favour of big, long sentences.

Saves the bother of hitting the full stop key.

And then the shift key for the following capital.

Nakes life much easier if you think about it.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / The Wild, the Innocent and the LAX shuttle
Posted 9 Sep 10 23:44
Message
I liked the ad with the blonde bird in the vest.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / My Wife Thinks I'm So Dull...
Posted 9 Sep 10 17:39
Message
JB

Now I know you're seriously deluded

Regards

Skoob

 
From General Discussion / My Wife Thinks I'm So Dull...
Posted 9 Sep 10 17:06
Message
Good for you TT

I applaud that.

When you're nice to 'em they tend not to be so horrible to you.

If you're lucky.

I love mine really...

Just praying that one day she'll love me back...

We went to our wedding ceremony in a fire engine don'cha know...

That's true that is.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Jesus Commands Muslim Burning and Koran Burning in the Holy Bible
Posted 9 Sep 10 16:55
Message
Don't remember Jesus saying that.

Mind you, I never met the man.

Can't imagine him ever promoting hatred though.

9/11 was the worst peacetime atrocity I ever witnessed. It was too horrible for words to convey. In every respect. And my sincere sympathies are with all the victims.

All I'd say is that the actions of Al Qaeda don't represent the Muslim community as a whole.

Burning books is not the way forward.

Sincerely

Skoob.

 
From Magazine Discussion / The First New Idea In Hollywood In 20 Years - Some Truly Horrific Ideas For Movies
Posted 9 Sep 10 16:05
Message
Stop it, you're cracking me up.

"It's clear what happened here - anybody fancy pie and peas?"

Mad.

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / My Wife Thinks I'm So Dull...
Posted 9 Sep 10 15:58
Message
Just a joke JO

Not to be taken seriously...

Mind you...

I love my wife. I really do. Honest.

She's devoted to me and I'm devoted to United.

Sometimes.

Regards you mad Erith cockney chirpy chappie.

Skoob

 
From News Discussion / Isle of Wight Excitement Over Johnny Depp Visit
Posted 9 Sep 10 15:54
Message
Re previous thread about starting threads...

Will this one do?

It's a classic Isle of Wight non news story and me, I gave it five stars.

Ellis looks like he's going to be...

Well, you fill in the blanks.

Apparently he's a mate of CJ's.

So anything can happen.

Just don't blame me for it.

I've been too busy making life changing decisions today.

Regarding backache and dental treatment.

And work.

Or lack of.

But anyway - simple as that Ellis.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / My Wife Thinks I'm So Dull...
Posted 9 Sep 10 15:38
Message
My first wife's dead.

I told my second wife to get on with it and eat the mushrooms...

Or else...

(Yeah - I wish)

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Burn Blair memoir instead Brits urge US pastor
Posted 9 Sep 10 14:39
Message
One of your very best QM

IMHO

5BT's

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / My Wife Thinks I'm So Dull...
Posted 9 Sep 10 13:31
Message
She constantly checks my pulse to make sure I'm still alive.



 
From Magazine Discussion / The First New Idea In Hollywood In 20 Years - Some Truly Horrific Ideas For Movies
Posted 9 Sep 10 13:20
Message
I read this one earlier and fived it.

I always wanted to see Wile E Coyote subject that bastard beep-beeping Road Runner to a violent demise and some serious post mortem mutilation.

That Tweety Pie too. If he'd have come round our house at any point, he'd have been chargrilled and served with spuds.

Going along with theme, how good would it be to see Michael Crawford playing Frank Spencer playing Dirty Harry?

"Go ahead punk. Make my day. I've had a lot of harrassment! ooh Betty!"

Or the late, great Les Dawson playing Darth Vader:

"I'm not your father Luke. How should I know? Shut up and eat your carrots."

Or maybe Jack Dee playing the Tom Cruise role in Rain Man:

"Oh great...I've got a brother who's a bit mongy...What the hell do you expect me to do with him? Okay - granted - he's good at counting things, but you can buy gadgets that will do that at Curry's. Jesus - what did I do to deserve this?"

Apologies to our American cousins who probably won't be familiar with these characters.

Or Katie Price and Wayne Rooney playing Howard and Marina out of Last of The Summer Wine?

Or Ronnie Corbett playing Cracker?

I liked this piece, and it provokes thought, which can only be a good thing.

Sorry for being serious - some life changing shit going on in my head today.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Last Of The Summer Wine - Howard And Marina Finally Get It On
Posted 8 Sep 10 20:46
Message
Police Blotter idea sounds interesting Cap...

Maybe another Isle Of Wight or Hog Jaw.

Go for it Skipper!

Regards

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Last Of The Summer Wine - Howard And Marina Finally Get It On
Posted 8 Sep 10 19:56
Message
This is what happens when you start running out of ideas.

Let that be a warning to you.

(You know who you are.)

At least I assume you do.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Angela Jolie plays King Canute in Pakistan?
Posted 8 Sep 10 19:42
Message
Well, you would say that.

Wouldn't you?

Regards

Skoob.

 
416 Pages - «« « 177 178 [179] 180 181 » »»
Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

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