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From General Discussion / Why Avacados Remind Me of Football
Posted 5 Feb 09 02:49
Message
Seconds out!

Regards

Skoob

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 5 Feb 09 01:52
Message
I don't get this either.

What's the point?

I tried to join in at one point but Monkey sort of told me to 'fuck off'

That's it. I'm fucking off. I'm taking me fucking ball too.

Regards

Skoob

 
From General Discussion / 20 Questions
Posted 4 Feb 09 07:10
Message
That's not the right answer is it?

AAAhhhh I need sleep.

This game is crap.

Regards

Skoob

Am I tired?

Am I overworked?

Does anybody give a shit?



 
From General Discussion / 20 Questions
Posted 4 Feb 09 07:05
Message
I am A Dalek..Exterminate!! Exterminate!!!

Put me in the curry.

No idea what I'm doing here, but there you go.

Doc?

Time travelling regards

Your Skaroan Buddy

 
From General Discussion / What to do...........
Posted 4 Feb 09 05:20
Message
Oh buh-buh-buh-bollocks.

Forgot the fucking fireguard.

Cheers HIC Ferg.

It's a conspiracy this is...

...hang on...
we don't have a fireguard...

I'll tell you piss taking bastards something!

Tomorrow.

Whenever.

Best Fireguards

Skoob

PS Did you notice that I spelt ferigaurds corruptly?

G'night

 
From General Discussion / What to do...........
Posted 4 Feb 09 05:12
Message
Hic!

Fuck, I've turned the lights out.

Slowly.

One foot in front of the other...

Reft...Light...Reft...

OUCH! Who put that fucking sofa there?

Best not wake her up...

She'll be really pissed off...

SSSHhhhh!!!

I told you guys to shush.

Have some respect.

Or do you want to drop me in the shit?

Fuckin' Yorkshire....

Chuckle... love em really, wars and all.

Geoff Boycott and Don Revie and that.

SSHhhhhhhhhhh

Comin' love, yeah I fed the cat.

Later.

Skoooob---oh fuck!!!

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 4 Feb 09 03:40
Message
Stupid People Eat Every Crappy Ham Enchilada Sandwich.

Now that WOULD give you the shits.

Can I play?

The word is: SANDWICH

 
From General Discussion / Why Avacados Remind Me of Football
Posted 2 Feb 09 00:38
Message
Come on guys.

It's snowing like the clappers where I am right now.

I don't know if I'll be able to make it into work in the morning, because anything over a quarter inch of snow and the whole British transport system grinds to a halt, airports close, trains stop running, buses don't run because the drivers can't get their cars to start to get to their buses.

It's cold outside.

And cold does strange things to people.

Read 'The Ballad Of Dan McGrew' by Robert Service.

Quote:

"Since I left Plumtree
Down in Tennessee
It's the first time I've been warm."

Cold does very strange things to me, anyway.

Goodnight, and may your respective Gods bless you.

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / Gitmo
Posted 31 Jan 09 23:56
Message

Quote: victor nicholas

So do the girls out there like mud on their studs?




I wouldn't know Victor. I haven't been a stud since 1993.

Regards

Skoob

 
From General Discussion / Gitmo
Posted 31 Jan 09 23:55
Message
Only if you get picked JB.

This is the UK.

We have protocols.

Mainly bleedin stupid ones but there you go.

Regards

Skoob

 
From General Discussion / Favourite Places
Posted 31 Jan 09 21:20
Message
Quick there Fergus.

All my anecdotes are 100% true.

I don't see any percentage in talking about things I've done if I haven't really experienced them.

Fergus, that last bit there was directed towards a previous posting, not at you.

And yes, (I think it was Madame Bitters posting) I have had a pretty eventful life, and I hope it stays as interesting, although I do have many more mundane days than eventful ones.

Regards

Skoob

 
From General Discussion / Just Want to Get this off of my Chest
Posted 31 Jan 09 00:54
Message
Nor me.

Regards.

 
From General Discussion / Favourite Pubs/Bars
Posted 30 Jan 09 23:04
Message
Tee total as hell me.

Just get about a bit.

Regards

As Ever

Skoob

 
From General Discussion / Favourite Pubs/Bars
Posted 30 Jan 09 17:35
Message
Let's see if any of these match up.

Portland Bars, Manchester.

General Havelock, Burnley.

Cafe De L'Opera, Barcelona.

Beaumont, Piccadilly, Manchester.

Blind Beggar, Whitechapel, London.

Popinjay, Basingstoke, Hampshire.

Sports Bar, Haymarket, London.

Homeland Bar, Union Square, New Yawk City.

Goodrest, Worcester, England.

Fisherman's Rest, Titchfield, Hampshire, England.

All points of view welcome.

As ever,

Skoob

 
From General Discussion / Favourite Places
Posted 30 Jan 09 17:03
Message
I also met a sort of Lesbian girl from New York in the Hofbrauhaus in Munich, but maybe it's not such a good idea to go there.

Not the Hofbrauhaus, the woman I mean.

Shame. She was really rather pretty.

And she wasn't a proper Lesbian.

Shit, I am one degenerate MoFo.

Love you all

Skoob

 
From General Discussion / Favourite Places
Posted 30 Jan 09 16:58
Message
J-Man

I once met a gang of Americans on a train from Brussells to Cologne, and a French guy, and a Moroccan lad.

We all had a good drink up and a laugh.

And your American brethren were amazed that I could pronounce Michigan properly.

Not like those Irish women (take note Fergus) who stalked me in the elevator of the Gramercy Park Hotel looking for more booze that I had to jump out of the elevator at the tenth floor and leg it down the stairs to my room on eight.

Mrs Skoob thought it was hilarious.

Best Wishes

Skoob

 
From General Discussion / Featured Writer - Candice Hitler
Posted 30 Jan 09 15:37
Message
How the heck would you know that?

Did I leave the curtains open?

Best Regards, as ever

Skoob

 
From General Discussion / Featured Writer - Candice Hitler
Posted 30 Jan 09 12:53
Message
Buck,

I thought cat o' nine tails marks were standard in a relationship.

Please don't tell me...

After all these years...

Oh my God...

Best Regards As Always

Skoob

 
From General Discussion / Game Consoles
Posted 30 Jan 09 12:36
Message
I've just noticed that when you take a break the "music" is so tacky.

I like it. In a strange way.

As Ever

Skoob

 
From General Discussion / Game Consoles
Posted 30 Jan 09 12:12
Message

Quote: Madame Bitters


Quote: Skoob1999

You mean the Wii.

Made by Nintendo.





I want one. I love Dance Floor Revolution, but since I don't have a Wii at home I've only been able to play it in the arcades.

That gets mighty expensive after awhile. Bet I've spent enough in quarters at the arcade to buy a Wii and the Dance Floor Revolution game along with the mat that goes with it.

Anyone ever played?


I'm just going to have a game of tennis. I'm getting quite tasty at that. The boxing's a bit much for a wrinkly like me.
As for dancing, I love music but have the dance co-ordination of a camel on crutches.

Best Regards

 
From General Discussion / Game Consoles
Posted 30 Jan 09 12:06
Message
Monkey, that FA Cup semi final game at Hillsborough, I was there, on the Leppings Lane end terrace right below you.

I got smacked on the napper with a bottle by a Geordie.

Didn't hurt much but made me see a star or two.

At that match, had to laugh watching Colin Waldron trying to bring Malcolm McDonald down as he scored his second goal.

Supermac, as the Geordies used to call him shrugged him off like a cow swats a fly.

I'm not a Burnley fan but I used to go along with friends.

Best regards and thanks for the memory.

 
From General Discussion / Featured Writer - Candice Hitler
Posted 30 Jan 09 09:28
Message
Thanks for that J-Man.

I'm still not really any wiser though.

 
From General Discussion / Gitmo
Posted 30 Jan 09 02:33
Message

Quote: victor nicholas

So do the girls out there like mud on their studs?


Of course not Victor.

They like you to be kind, and tender, and gentle, and considerate, and loving.

Like Jesus Budda.

Jus kidding JB

Did you get the Jus bit? I just had a Crip stay at my crib so I'm gittin all gangsta.

Not convinced?

Nor is Mrs Skoob. She says if I give her any more of that gangster crap she'll "Batter the crap out of me"

I'm just scared...

Best regards all....

 
From General Discussion / Gitmo
Posted 30 Jan 09 01:57
Message
This has got to be the funniest thread ever written on the Spoof.

Maybe we should take a vote on it.

Absolutely brilliant.

Top Marks

 
From General Discussion / Favourite Places
Posted 30 Jan 09 01:40
Message

Quote: Fergus McCarthy

Bay of Islands New Zealand.

Words are not enough.



They have ice 2 inches thick on the beer taps.


Fergus

My stepdaughter has considered moving to NZ.
I couldn't hack all that time on a plane without a cigarette. New York was bad enough.

Best Wishes

 
183 Pages - «« « 177 178 [179] 180 181 » »»
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ej moore
ej moore
Joined: 02 April 2004
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