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From General Discussion / The 'Answer To The Question In The Post Before' Game
Posted 16 Sep 10 00:00
Message
What's the last thing a vegetarian eunuch would want to see?

Correct!

Ken Dodd's dad's dog.

 
From Magazine Discussion / Have YOU Ever Thought About Cutting Someone's Head Off?
Posted 15 Sep 10 23:23
Message
No way Fergus.

You and Monkey Woods yoursleves are way too compassionate.

You'd never fit the bill.

Ruthlessness required.

Think it over.

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Elton John breaks George Michael out of Jail, Tornado jet Scrambled
Posted 15 Sep 10 22:03
Message
Good man.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Elton John breaks George Michael out of Jail, Tornado jet Scrambled
Posted 15 Sep 10 21:42
Message
Stuart

Did as requested.

You absolutely sure that you want to get involved in this band of gypsies, tramps and thieves?

On your own head be it...

(They're lovely really, and don't be afraid to post in the forum. New nutters always welcome)

Regards

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Pope to dunk thousands in Diana Princess of Wales Memorial Fountain baptism spectacular
Posted 15 Sep 10 21:36
Message
Oh the richness of the imagery...

Surreal paradise.

Wonder if he'll fall on his arse...

Thumbs up yer Madge.

Skoob.

 
From Magazine Discussion / Have YOU Ever Thought About Cutting Someone's Head Off?
Posted 15 Sep 10 21:26
Message
Which one?

Confused...

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Local Man In Giant Rabbit Horror Shocker In Late Night Garage En Route To Collecting Chinese Takeaway
Posted 15 Sep 10 21:21
Message
We have ignition...

Regards

Skoob

 
From News Discussion / Local Man In Giant Rabbit Horror Shocker In Late Night Garage En Route To Collecting Chinese Takeaway
Posted 15 Sep 10 20:59
Message
Didn't I say, We're all doomed!

Doomed I say!

Regards

Demood

Sorry, Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Local Man In Giant Rabbit Horror Shocker In Late Night Garage En Route To Collecting Chinese Takeaway
Posted 15 Sep 10 20:55
Message
One's enough for one day thanks.

Mum's the word.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Local man decides to move, he has had enough of being local
Posted 15 Sep 10 11:28
Message
I don't blame him.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Local Man In Giant Rabbit Horror Shocker In Late Night Garage En Route To Collecting Chinese Takeaway
Posted 14 Sep 10 23:34
Message
Off to kip now Cap.

Work tomorrow.

That's guaranteed to be a laugh.

Keep ya posted.

Skoob.

 
From Magazine Discussion / Have YOU Ever Thought About Cutting Someone's Head Off?
Posted 14 Sep 10 22:00
Message
Good for you Fergus.

Ever the voice of reason.

Now then.

We've had an inexplicable invasion of wriggly maggots on the kitchen floor.

Nothing rotten in there.

Unless it's something the cat brought in and hid.

But there's no sign of anything.

It's strange.

Not loads of them.

Just a couple.

Wife going mental.

Please advise.

Kindest

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Local man leaves toilet seat up
Posted 14 Sep 10 20:45
Message
Dureau

By dothe ith a bit dackered Ad Bell.

Dot dat dothe caddy thtuff doh.

Do do dat.

 
From News Discussion / Local man leaves toilet seat up
Posted 14 Sep 10 19:47
Message
No need for that.

You know what I mean.

Now behave and let me watch the rest of the "match" in peace.

Rangers eh...

Never liked 'em.

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Local man leaves toilet seat up
Posted 14 Sep 10 19:41
Message
What's an "epidode"?

Anyway...

Us blokes should complain more when the inconsiderate mares leave the seat down.

Nothing worse than that when you pop out for a quick lag half way through the match.

And they wonder why the floor gets damp...

Whoa!!!

Just kidding!!!


Regards

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Giant 3D Wonderbra Ad Causes Commuter Chaos At London Rail Terminal
Posted 14 Sep 10 17:29
Message
I remember that QM

Bum deal here is that I found out not long ago that George Michael got jailed.

Hammered out a story in two minutes flat, but by the time I submitted it Mark had gone.

Missed the boat again.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From Magazine Discussion / Downs Syndrome Children are Aliens!
Posted 14 Sep 10 16:03
Message
You back yet?

Regards

Skoob

 
From General Discussion / Playing With Myself
Posted 14 Sep 10 15:49
Message
Nah.

Except mine.

They go missing rapidly once a game starts.

Re another game?

I'll let you know.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Local Man In Giant Rabbit Horror Shocker In Late Night Garage En Route To Collecting Chinese Takeaway
Posted 14 Sep 10 15:27
Message
Thanks.

True story that.

The rabbit was huge. The wife thought it was a dog until I explained to her.

Quite why the bloke was carrying a giant rabbit around at 10pm with wife and child in tow remains a mystery. They were on foot too.

Weird.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / 'Have You Got Your Gas Masks Ready?' Scots asked as Luftwaffe Vatican Airlines heads for Edinburgh
Posted 14 Sep 10 13:14
Message
That Pope-mobile can shift a bit.

Just seen it on the telly.

0-60 in 1.2 seconds. I think the Stig was driving it. Doesn't pay as much as Top Gear but apparently it's more relaxing.

5 thumbs by the way.

Regards

Skoob

 
From General Discussion / and yet another dreary evening on the Spoof!
Posted 14 Sep 10 13:04
Message
Thanks for the tips Cap and Carina.

Thing is, I haven't got the time to piss about, so the curtain rod and the stick will have to do. It's a fine big stick with a bloody great knot on the business end.

JO

This really won't do. It's the second time to my knowledge that you've come on the forums complaining about how dead they are.

Then as soon as people start communicating, you bugger off.

What's all that about?

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / and yet another dreary evening on the Spoof!
Posted 13 Sep 10 22:25
Message
I wasn't joking.

Honest.

Regards

Skoob

 
From General Discussion / and yet another dreary evening on the Spoof!
Posted 13 Sep 10 22:06
Message
Funny you should say that Fergus. I'm building a 32 foot wooden horse. With wheels. Then I'm going to hide inside it with a big stick and a curtain rod, then get the wife to push it up the shops. Then when the hoody little fuckers gather around it, I'm going to jump out and hit them with the big stick and twirl the curtain rod about a bit, like that Lee chap. Him out of the kung-fu films.

In me pork pie hat.

That'll show the buggers.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / and yet another dreary evening on the Spoof!
Posted 13 Sep 10 20:29
Message
birb

I had a virus last week.

Horrible it was.

I won't go into detail.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / Playing With Myself
Posted 13 Sep 10 20:22
Message
The wife bought a cheap chess set down the car-boot yesterday, and as she's out at work at the moment, I had a game against myself.

I lost.

Bloody rubbish at chess I am.

Even Monkey Woods beat me.

Regards

Skoob.

 
418 Pages - «« « 177 178 [179] 180 181 » »»
Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

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