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From News Discussion / Local man decides to move, he has had enough of being local
Posted 15 Sep 10 11:28
Message
I don't blame him.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Local Man In Giant Rabbit Horror Shocker In Late Night Garage En Route To Collecting Chinese Takeaway
Posted 14 Sep 10 23:34
Message
Off to kip now Cap.

Work tomorrow.

That's guaranteed to be a laugh.

Keep ya posted.

Skoob.

 
From Magazine Discussion / Have YOU Ever Thought About Cutting Someone's Head Off?
Posted 14 Sep 10 22:00
Message
Good for you Fergus.

Ever the voice of reason.

Now then.

We've had an inexplicable invasion of wriggly maggots on the kitchen floor.

Nothing rotten in there.

Unless it's something the cat brought in and hid.

But there's no sign of anything.

It's strange.

Not loads of them.

Just a couple.

Wife going mental.

Please advise.

Kindest

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Local man leaves toilet seat up
Posted 14 Sep 10 20:45
Message
Dureau

By dothe ith a bit dackered Ad Bell.

Dot dat dothe caddy thtuff doh.

Do do dat.

 
From News Discussion / Local man leaves toilet seat up
Posted 14 Sep 10 19:47
Message
No need for that.

You know what I mean.

Now behave and let me watch the rest of the "match" in peace.

Rangers eh...

Never liked 'em.

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Local man leaves toilet seat up
Posted 14 Sep 10 19:41
Message
What's an "epidode"?

Anyway...

Us blokes should complain more when the inconsiderate mares leave the seat down.

Nothing worse than that when you pop out for a quick lag half way through the match.

And they wonder why the floor gets damp...

Whoa!!!

Just kidding!!!


Regards

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Giant 3D Wonderbra Ad Causes Commuter Chaos At London Rail Terminal
Posted 14 Sep 10 17:29
Message
I remember that QM

Bum deal here is that I found out not long ago that George Michael got jailed.

Hammered out a story in two minutes flat, but by the time I submitted it Mark had gone.

Missed the boat again.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From Magazine Discussion / Downs Syndrome Children are Aliens!
Posted 14 Sep 10 16:03
Message
You back yet?

Regards

Skoob

 
From General Discussion / Playing With Myself
Posted 14 Sep 10 15:49
Message
Nah.

Except mine.

They go missing rapidly once a game starts.

Re another game?

I'll let you know.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Local Man In Giant Rabbit Horror Shocker In Late Night Garage En Route To Collecting Chinese Takeaway
Posted 14 Sep 10 15:27
Message
Thanks.

True story that.

The rabbit was huge. The wife thought it was a dog until I explained to her.

Quite why the bloke was carrying a giant rabbit around at 10pm with wife and child in tow remains a mystery. They were on foot too.

Weird.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / 'Have You Got Your Gas Masks Ready?' Scots asked as Luftwaffe Vatican Airlines heads for Edinburgh
Posted 14 Sep 10 13:14
Message
That Pope-mobile can shift a bit.

Just seen it on the telly.

0-60 in 1.2 seconds. I think the Stig was driving it. Doesn't pay as much as Top Gear but apparently it's more relaxing.

5 thumbs by the way.

Regards

Skoob

 
From General Discussion / and yet another dreary evening on the Spoof!
Posted 14 Sep 10 13:04
Message
Thanks for the tips Cap and Carina.

Thing is, I haven't got the time to piss about, so the curtain rod and the stick will have to do. It's a fine big stick with a bloody great knot on the business end.

JO

This really won't do. It's the second time to my knowledge that you've come on the forums complaining about how dead they are.

Then as soon as people start communicating, you bugger off.

What's all that about?

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / and yet another dreary evening on the Spoof!
Posted 13 Sep 10 22:25
Message
I wasn't joking.

Honest.

Regards

Skoob

 
From General Discussion / and yet another dreary evening on the Spoof!
Posted 13 Sep 10 22:06
Message
Funny you should say that Fergus. I'm building a 32 foot wooden horse. With wheels. Then I'm going to hide inside it with a big stick and a curtain rod, then get the wife to push it up the shops. Then when the hoody little fuckers gather around it, I'm going to jump out and hit them with the big stick and twirl the curtain rod about a bit, like that Lee chap. Him out of the kung-fu films.

In me pork pie hat.

That'll show the buggers.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / and yet another dreary evening on the Spoof!
Posted 13 Sep 10 20:29
Message
birb

I had a virus last week.

Horrible it was.

I won't go into detail.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / Playing With Myself
Posted 13 Sep 10 20:22
Message
The wife bought a cheap chess set down the car-boot yesterday, and as she's out at work at the moment, I had a game against myself.

I lost.

Bloody rubbish at chess I am.

Even Monkey Woods beat me.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Shades of Stuart Lubbock at Amanda Holden childhood home pool death tragedy
Posted 13 Sep 10 20:13
Message
He's a scouser.

Aaaarrrrrgh!

Did I really say that?

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / and yet another dreary evening on the Spoof!
Posted 13 Sep 10 20:09
Message
I'm not really here.

I'm in a woodwork class.

Brilliant this nightschool lark.

Regards

Skoob

 
From News Discussion / Shades of Stuart Lubbock at Amanda Holden childhood home pool death tragedy
Posted 13 Sep 10 20:05
Message
Indeed.

Les Dennis knows all about that one.

Regards

Lionel Barrymore.

 
From News Discussion / Shades of Stuart Lubbock at Amanda Holden childhood home pool death tragedy
Posted 13 Sep 10 19:59
Message
Read and rated this one earlier.

Considered running something along the lines of Barrymore not being implicated.

Glad I didn't now. Had a feeling you'd jump on that story.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / and yet another dreary evening on the Spoof!
Posted 13 Sep 10 19:53
Message
What's up?

Sorry, I was power sleeping again.

Wha...?

 
From News Discussion / Manchester - cultural Mecca for young sportsmen with money to burn
Posted 13 Sep 10 19:14
Message
I'm havin' some o' that matt.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Wayne Rooney Girls - Sponsorship Offers Flood In
Posted 13 Sep 10 15:36
Message
Short and sweet.

5 thumbs from me sir!

Regards

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Gazza is Roo's DNA Pa say Salford slapper sources
Posted 12 Sep 10 18:49
Message
"Grim and bear it."

Top spoofing.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / How Old People Would Have Been In 2010 If They Were Still Alive
Posted 12 Sep 10 18:10
Message
...with comedy hats, fake moustaches, fake Bolivian General's medals and performing rats.

A right old jolly proper hoot.

Reckon you'd have loved it mate.

Regards

Skoob.

 
418 Pages - «« « 177 178 [179] 180 181 » »»
Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

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