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From News Discussion / Bed allegedly commits assault
Posted 4 Sep 17 17:12
Some bloke jumped into a fire at the Burning Man festival and became one. It struck me as ironic for some reason. Back to the point in question - a bed is incapable of rape. At worst it would have been statutory rape, at best aggravated sexual assault. Having read this story I was reminded of why I can't be arsed coming here any more. Keep up the good work.



From News Discussion / Lap Dancing Replaces Line Dancing In West Midlands Town
Posted 23 Apr 17 19:57

I've had Vena Schnitzel. She was rubbish.


Ian Stead

From News Discussion / Kim Kardashian Is Getting Old
Posted 18 Mar 17 16:04
I'm confused again. Some things are inevitable. It's the chickens my heart goes out to. So sad.

From News Discussion / Woman Splits Ringpiece After Having Big Shit
Posted 26 Feb 17 16:24
That's a shite story.

Utter shite.



From General Discussion / Apple's Tim Cook Says Fake News Destroys Minds
Posted 13 Feb 17 21:21
Destroyed mine...and my faith in human nectar.

From General Discussion / I don't care about anything any more.
Posted 6 Nov 16 02:12
It's really quite liberating.



From News Discussion / Trump, Putin Ride Horses Together
Posted 6 Nov 16 02:09
And beetroot.

From News Discussion / Trump, Putin Ride Horses Together
Posted 6 Nov 16 02:08
I like hats. That's all.



From General Discussion / Favourite Crisp (Chip) Flavour (Flavor)
Posted 22 Jul 16 15:05
Liver and fava bean.

From General Discussion / The Truth About Hovering
Posted 25 May 16 01:25
Hovering...broken nose...multiple abrasions...pain. was worth a try...

From General Discussion / Books That We've Recently Read
Posted 30 Apr 16 18:29
Hello MW. In response to your question: Really enjoyed it. Was a long time ago that I read it but it stuck with me. Changing tack slightly Stephen King's 'Gerald's Game' made me feel slightly sick towards the end. The denouement was great, but the run up to it was very unpleasant.

The Fan Man was good - quirky and hugely enjoyable. Penned by William Kotzwinkel if memory serves.

From General Discussion / Books That We've Recently Read
Posted 28 Apr 16 02:22
Don't blame me - I read Hard Times, Ragged Trousered Philanthropists, Roy Keane's autobiography, The Dice Man, American Psycho, The Henry Root Letters, Confessions Of A Window Cleaner and the scripts of Michael Palin's Ripping Yarns.

And A Stone For Danny Fisher and Papillon.

It's not's them....

So fuck off.

From General Discussion / Coracles
Posted 15 Apr 16 01:47
Tricky things is coracles. Hard to tell which is the front, what is the back, and where the sides are.

Let alone which way the thing will go when you start paddling.

Strictly for the experts I'd say.

From General Discussion / Trivets
Posted 9 Apr 16 01:33
This thread is just trivet porn.

Subliminal suggestion I reckon.



From General Discussion / Books That We've Recently Read
Posted 9 Apr 16 01:29
I don't usually read books but I did read one about a shark terrorising a community on Long Island.

Can't remember what it was called though.

From News Discussion / Doc Corbyn "has built a time machine back to the 1970s"
Posted 9 Apr 16 01:24
Either that or TABOO!

I'm easy either way but I've given up on colours.

From General Discussion / Exclusive Preview of My Novel
Posted 9 Apr 16 01:07
I think Erskine's "book" preview is some sort of online scam, but I'm not falling for it. Oh no - I wasn't born yesterday. Or if I was I don't recall the detail but I digress.

Everyone knows that a "yoke" is a lump of wood slung around the neck of an ox to tie ropes to so it can pull stuff, or a lump of carved wood that humans slung across their shoulders to enable them to carry buckets of stuff.

Whereas a "yolk" is the yellow bit of an egg. The semi-globular bit that tastes nicer than the runny bit unless you're making meringues or something. But not omelettes because that just involves beating the contents of an egg to smithereens. So that doesn't count.

An erudite gentleman such as Erskin would surely be capable of differentiating between the two - seeing as he knows about obscure stuff like narwals and trivets and whatnot.

Erskin didn't write that - he knows better and has high standards.

Trust me - it's a scam. Next thing there'll be requests for bank details and pin numbers and stuff.

This Quint imposter doesn't fool me.

Think on.

From General Discussion / Unlikely couples
Posted 5 Aug 15 21:58
Not really. They were good though.

From News Discussion / "Queen Not A Nazi," Says Unconvincing Palace Spokesman
Posted 19 Jul 15 20:13
I would.

From General Discussion / Home for Writers etc
Posted 18 Jul 15 18:07

From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 14 Jul 15 16:57
Skoob knows only one beast.

(You did that on cheeky monkey you!)

From News Discussion / Rolf Harris Stripped in Jail
Posted 14 Jul 15 16:53
Zackly mate. I'll shut up now and refrain from responding to that person in future.


It won't happen again.


From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 13 Jul 15 20:25
Different is fairly flipping extreme regarding entirely non-conformist traits.

I think this thread is shit BTW - but I get a clean sweep.


From News Discussion / The Spoof encrypts its news website
Posted 13 Jul 15 18:27
Irrational at best Doc.

From News Discussion / Rolf Harris Stripped in Jail
Posted 13 Jul 15 18:25
Oh do keep up. I love being insulted. Maybe I deserve it sometimes. Try harder though or I'll go elsewhere.

419 Pages - [1] 2 3 4 5 » »»
Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

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