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From News Discussion / Police arrest man who failed to use knife and fork in Didsbury restaurant
Posted 11 Jun 15 22:49
Message
Nice yarn Jack.

Poor chap. Having been tasered myself once for not putting enough malt vinegar on a black pudding at Burnley market, I sympathise entirely with your character.

Pass the ketchup man!

 
From News Discussion / Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen were born conjoined twins
Posted 11 Jun 15 22:44
Message
Hi Bill

I enjoyed this, and I enjoyed your guide to writing spoofs in the magazine section.

I was so impressed that I had the guide laminated, framed and hung on the wall.

I refer to it all the time but it isn't much use as a train timetable.

Sincerely

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / What's Going On?
Posted 11 Jun 15 22:37
Message
Fagin, Dracula and Scaramanga in the same day?

Is God pissed or what?

We should be told.

(A very upset) Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / UK keeps disappearing
Posted 2 Jun 15 20:17
Message
Somehow the UK got filtered out. It's all about America now. Sad, but there you go. Don't want to say...

 
From General Discussion / Evidence that Mark doesn't wear a towel on his head
Posted 23 Apr 15 17:58
Message
I wear a towel on my head when I get out of the bath.

Even though I'm as bald as a coot.

It just feels right.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Cat image sparks social media buzz: Is it taking a dump or having a piss?
Posted 22 Apr 15 16:59
Message
That's a tricky one...

Regards

Skoob

 
From News Discussion / Onion offers To Buy Out Spoof and Eliminate Embarrassing Satire
Posted 19 Apr 15 20:20
Message
Seems he has a thing about bottoms and botty burps.

Waiting by the campfire singing Kumbaya to meself.

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Onion offers To Buy Out Spoof and Eliminate Embarrassing Satire
Posted 17 Apr 15 16:34
Message
Dave,

There's no point grovelling and being nice to me. I don't want to look up your arse, much less kiss it.

Think on.

Kindest

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Onion offers To Buy Out Spoof and Eliminate Embarrassing Satire
Posted 16 Apr 15 18:02
Message
"now" - know. Unless you're a Brummie Dave lad.

"professionaly" - professionally.

Good luck with the comedy career.

Love

Skoob

(Who isn't remotely interested in your arsehole by the way.)



 
From News Discussion / Onion offers To Buy Out Spoof and Eliminate Embarrassing Satire
Posted 16 Apr 15 01:35
Message
Yes Dave, I agree with Duncan. You could do a fantastically hilarious skit about me if you like. I can't write comedy or satire for shit but it's nice to be ripped the piss out of occasionally.*

*Not Wednesdays though. I'm usually busy on Wednesdays.

Regards

Skoob

 
From Magazine Discussion / My Mother Was A Margarine Smuggler
Posted 14 Apr 15 19:05
Message
Interesting.

Regards

Skoob

 
From News Discussion / Charles and Camilla Mark 10th Aniversary With A Good Old Fashioned Wank
Posted 14 Apr 15 19:04
Message
Heh-heh!

That's the way to do it!

Regards

Skoob

 
From General Discussion / spoof editors tampering with writers original material?
Posted 14 Apr 15 19:01
Message
Apparently his real name is Rodney.

Regards

Skoob

 
From General Discussion / Dominique A
Posted 14 Apr 15 18:59
Message
No.

Regards

Skoob

 
From General Discussion / spoof editors tampering with writers original material?
Posted 13 Apr 15 21:10
Message
I don't give a toss either way, so it's a win/win for me!

Regards

Skoob.

PS - Monkey Woods - I'll keep me eyes peeled as soon as the agoraphobia medication kicks in.

 
From General Discussion / spoof editors tampering with writers original material?
Posted 9 Apr 15 06:51
Message
Okay MW. Be round about tea time. What are we having?

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / spoof editors tampering with writers original material?
Posted 8 Apr 15 17:25
Message
Monkey Woods

I tried calling but you didn't answer.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / spoof editors tampering with writers original material?
Posted 7 Apr 15 20:26
Message
I'm not looking up his ...honest!

Why on earth would I want to do that?

Regards

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Shock at Latest Young Briton Tempted Abroad by Extremist Sect
Posted 7 Apr 15 20:22
Message
It's a resounding 'yes' from me Mr Quint.

Regards

Skoob

 
From General Discussion / spoof editors tampering with writers original material?
Posted 6 Apr 15 23:53
Message
Maybe the editor found it lacking.

Who knows?

If you'd sent that to me for publication on my website I'd have binned it without a second thought and it would never have seen the light of day. But that's just my opinion, and not that of Spoof.

Have a nice day.

Regards

Skoob.



 
From General Discussion / The Spoof is Home to Unfunny Writers
Posted 5 Mar 15 23:12
Message
It'll be all right on the night mate. It usually is. Don't despair. It's still here, and you can't please all of the people all of the time.

As for the content - it's what users send in. A few more Brits wouldn't hurt but then you can't force people to submit articles.

See? I'm thinking bribery again.

Regards

Skoob.

 
From General Discussion / The Spoof is Home to Unfunny Writers
Posted 3 Mar 15 17:30
Message
Oh I do Jean. Quite frankly the vast majority are utter garbage, so perhaps the original poster has a point. Whenever I feel happy I come here and have a look at my back catalogue. Then I shed tears of awfulness.

Works for me!

Regards

Skoob.

 
From News Discussion / Kim Kardashian smells fresh
Posted 2 Mar 15 04:08
Message
It's satire Jim, but not as we know it.

Probably.

Nanu nanu.

Orson.

 
From Magazine Discussion / My Mother Was A Margarine Smuggler
Posted 2 Mar 15 04:05
Message
Perhaps it was for the best.

Regards

Perhaps it was for the best.

 
From General Discussion / The Spoof is Home to Unfunny Writers
Posted 2 Mar 15 04:03
Message
I could have been a contender, God damn you! I blame failing eyesight and a non-existent sense of hummus but there will be those who disagree. Quite frankly I don't blame them. That's why I went into politics.

Regards

Margaret Thatchpole (Diseased)

*How many minors did you break today? Eh? Eh?

We should be told.

 
418 Pages - [1] 2 3 4 5 » »»
Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

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