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From General Discussion / Why The Success Ratio Of Doomsday Prophecies Is So Low
Posted 29 May 16 21:41
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Quote: Dr. Billingsgate

Other than the Mayans, no one has ever successfully predicted the end of the world. Why?


What is the world? What do you mean by its end?

 
From General Discussion / FIFA's a lot of arresting and accepted bold modes
Posted 27 May 16 20:16
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Perhaps an intellectual hoe-down. An orgy of symbolic logic.

 
From General Discussion / Why The Success Ratio Of Doomsday Prophecies Is So Low
Posted 27 May 16 20:14
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Because it hasn't ended?

 
From General Discussion / FIFA's a lot of arresting and accepted bold modes
Posted 26 May 16 20:04
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Quote: bobgull


With Pro Clubs no best on 'old-gen' consoles and alms beneath and beneath anniversary year, I absolutely anguish that it will not accomplish fifa 16 xbox 360 coins at all.



Me too old fruit.

 
From General Discussion / My new supermarket
Posted 26 May 16 20:00
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Quote: Dr. Billingsgate

Please provide financials with full disclosure regarding Panama money laundering operations.

Dr. B


Dear Sir,

I run a Panama hat laundering operation, and we may be interested in investing in your venture. Please reply with forth or forthwith, for a full statement of particulars, and I will instruct my solicitor to instruct your solicitor to provide full instructions on how to contact your legal representative.

Acme Panama Hat Laundering Inc.

"Home of the squeaky clean crown"

 
From General Discussion / Trivets
Posted 26 May 16 19:46
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Quote: victor nicholas

Are special trivets made to protect trivets, a trivet protector of sorts?


How marvellous. Reminds me of the idea that the universe is carried on the back of a giant cosmic turtle.

"What's under the turtle?"

"You can't get me like that. I happen to know it's turtles all the way down."

So perhaps it's trivets all the way. Perhaps it's a matter of an infinite regress of trivets protecting trivets.

Trivets to the power of infinity.

In fact, there is nothing outside of trivets.

More to the point:

Outside of a book, a dog is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.



 
From General Discussion / FIFA's a lot of arresting and accepted bold modes
Posted 26 May 16 19:37
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And is cerebration what they have in Tokyo when they are happy about something?

 
From General Discussion / FIFA's a lot of arresting and accepted bold modes
Posted 26 May 16 19:36
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I wish that promised 11v11 Apple Cup to be advertisement on Twitch to hundreds of bags of aflame FIFA fans.


Joyous! Joycean! Genius!

That's the best thing I have ever read on The Spoof.

I'll have a dozen bags of those aflame FIFA fans please coalman.




 
From General Discussion / The Truth About Hovering
Posted 26 May 16 19:30
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Hovering is an anagram of gvnerohi. However, it would not be correct to say that gvnerohi is a hovering of anagram.

 
From General Discussion / My new supermarket
Posted 30 Apr 16 19:05
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I'm intrigued by the canon stocked with explosives. Is he a Christian suicide bomber?



 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 22 Apr 16 20:47
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Socks! Oh, Corsican knee socks!

 
From General Discussion / Selling Zeppelins Door to Door
Posted 21 Apr 16 21:16
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New Reality Show: Pimp My Blimp

 
From General Discussion / Selling Zeppelins Door to Door
Posted 20 Apr 16 12:36
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Actually just checked the stocks & shares -

Zeppelins are falling....

 
From General Discussion / Possets
Posted 18 Apr 16 20:12
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Just the thing of a cold Spring evening. A varnished tallboy, an aspidistra, and a lemon posset. What better way to undertake the entertainer. Sorry, entertake the undertainer. I mean, entertain the undertaker.

Anyway, possets are in.

 
From General Discussion / Books That We've Recently Read
Posted 18 Apr 16 20:04
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Just started in on a great one. "Shooting for the Stars". It's a fictionalised account of the Eskimo mission to get a man on the moon. Their biggest issue was food. Whale blubber was off, due to the air pressures. The struggle of the hero, Atkanartok, to convince the Eskimo Prime Minister Ilialuiktok to let him take an aquarium up so they could have fresh fish, fills 2500 riveting pages. Can Atkanartok make it to the moon and back before the dastardly Deniogii steals his girl Yakone? Who will feed his seal while he is away? Will it ever stop snowing? These and a host of other dilemmas make "Shooting for the Stars" the best Eskimo moon landing novel I have ever read.

 
From General Discussion / Selling Zeppelins Door to Door
Posted 18 Apr 16 19:44
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Count me in, I'll take a dozen to go and see how that sits.

Throw in a striped bib and tucker and I'm yours to the rattle.

Have you looked at territories yet? If not, I'll take the Highlands and Islands of Scotland and the Oklahoma panhandle. I'm currently living on a Chinese junk in the Azores, so I'm handy for those.

While we're on that theme, have you researched the Albanian markets? I hear tell they're ripe for the plucking when it comes to inflatables.

 
From General Discussion / Trivets
Posted 17 Apr 16 19:31
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Anyway, trivets are so last season. You heard it here first.

 
From General Discussion / Trivets
Posted 17 Apr 16 19:20
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Who said anything about information?

 
From General Discussion / Trivets
Posted 15 Apr 16 21:31
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Ah yes, the ACME trivet. First manufactured in Pinkerton, Pennsylvania, I believe.

Why there? It's as good a place as any.

 
From General Discussion / Books That We've Recently Read
Posted 14 Apr 16 19:59
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No, MW, I have not read Hard Times. There's a lot of Dickens about and as you say there are lots of things that are a bit wearing, but he had great characters, so true to life, and he had enormous indignation about the tyrannies of society. Dunno where he got his energy from. I bet he was a bugger to live with.

 
From General Discussion / Coracles
Posted 14 Apr 16 19:56
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Hannibal is famous for traversing the alps with elephants. Few are aware that in his younger days, before he joined the army, he was apprenticed to a Sardinian coracle-builder, where he was schooled in the arcane arts of graverring, true-skimming and back-caulking.

These skills were to pay dividends when - as a young corporal in the Bari Light Infantry - he was sent on a spying mission in the Persian swamplands, and survived for a week by building a coracle from woven reeds, caulked with red mud.

 
From General Discussion / Trivets
Posted 13 Apr 16 20:08
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That wouldn't be a surprise if he did.

Let us not forget the silver screen:

Trivets of Navarone
Two Trivets for Sister Sara
American Trivet
Die Hard: With A Trivet
Bring Me the Trivet of Alfredo Garcia
Rosemary's Trivet
All The President's Trivets
Cat on a Hot Tin Trivet
Trivets of New York
Gentlemen Prefer Trivets
Trivetspotting
Trivets of Desire

 
From General Discussion / Trivets
Posted 12 Apr 16 13:54
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Talking of the East, I believe it was Sir Arthur Mullet-Hinshelwood who was the first man to cross Borneo with a trivet.

I could be wrong. It may have been Sir Jocelyn Whackstraw-Vane, though I am sure he was the one who navigated the Yangste in a coracle with only a mute Lascar as companion.

 
From General Discussion / Trivets
Posted 12 Apr 16 13:52
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How true.

And of course there is the other direction.

Was it not Marco Polo who opened up the trade routes which, in the fullness of time, introduced the trivet to China?

Many is the caravan to have set off, heavy-laden with trivet-ware, only to return, many moons having waxed and waned in the weary interim, with pannier and casket and satchel brim-full of lapis lazuli, ivory, black wood, carnelian and sweetmeats from the bazaars of the East.

None of this would have happened without the essential currency of the ever-reliable trivet.

 
From General Discussion / Coracles
Posted 12 Apr 16 13:50
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This is the time of year when the wistful fancy turns to the subject of coracles, and the nautical sense yearns to launch a coracle upon the lusty waters of the Severn or the Great Lough at Ballywobegone.

Coracles, of course - like everything else on the mysterious plane of awareness - are nothing new.

In old Mesopotamia, they used to say "each man to his own coracle". The Laws of Hammurabi established the rate a worker could charge for caulking a coracle. And it was no novelty to descry, of a sultry eventide, a groaning vessel come ashore, loaded to the hilt with eels and cinnamon.

 
173 Pages - [1] 2 3 4 5 » »»
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