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From General Discussion / Reveller Without a Cause
Posted 7 Dec 17 20:15
Good grief!

From General Discussion / Reveller Without a Cause
Posted 4 Dec 17 22:59
Good heavens!

From General Discussion / Trump's Pajamas
Posted 4 Dec 17 22:58
I should jolly well say so!

From General Discussion / Year End Photo Montage
Posted 4 Dec 17 22:54
Ah yes, from nothing we arise, as nothing we subsist, to nothing we return.

From General Discussion / Nottingham Walrus
Posted 19 Oct 17 18:23
The Mouldy Old Dough group were Lieutenant Pigeon.

My diseased Uncle used to put the radio into a bucket of water when Gerry and the Pacemakers or Sandie Shaw came on.

Not to mention the Dave Clark Five.

Even after we moved to the house with the bathroom, he used to insist on bringing his "gazunder" with him when he came at Christmas. He used to empty it into the kitchen sink, which annoyed my mother. "Stop carryin' on", he would say. "There's no solids in it."

From General Discussion / Dark Web Satire
Posted 18 Oct 17 21:04
Another traveller passes through Cobweb City.

From General Discussion / Nottingham Walrus
Posted 17 Oct 17 21:13
As my diseased Uncle used to say when listening to the latest Pop hits in the 60s and 70s: "I think that feller's got his head stuck".

From General Discussion / Nottingham Walrus
Posted 17 Oct 17 20:18








those lately.










From General Discussion / Nottingham Walrus
Posted 17 Oct 17 20:02
Sorry, yes, of course I remember that splendid stuff. My diseased Uncle used to have the cuff links and lapel badge.

From General Discussion / Nottingham Walrus
Posted 17 Oct 17 19:59
No, but I used to drink in the "Smiling Walrus" every Friday night.

Quote: victor nicholas

Does anyone remember the old Nottingham Walrus memorabilia: the jumpers, the caps, the croquet wickets, the smiling walrus striding gallantly cartoons, the Bakelite telephone dial darts scorer with pin striping and insignias?

From News Discussion / Hunter-Gatherer Adjusts Well to Office Work, Wins Employee of the Month
Posted 17 Oct 17 19:54
Dear Mr D H Lawrenceson,

I must say I was grievously dejected when, on reading your article, I discovered that it was in fact mere drivel. I very much enjoyed your last masterwork, namely, "Lady Chesterfield's Gamekeeper", but this was nothing like it.

Furthermore, what is all this talk of cows running into caves and licking blocks of ice.

I would also fain have you know that there are no such caves containing Neanderthal men west of North Cornwall. I have been there. I also wish to declaim against the following:

Phil Crebbs, the farmer, commented, "I guess my cow didn't want to be slaughtered . . . Understandable. What gets me is how it knew I was about to ship it off to the slaughterhouse . . . Guess cows are smarter than you think. They must have, what you call, a sixth sense."

Farmers west of North Cornwall do not say "I Guess" in that or indeed in an otherwise manner. They would hardly utter "Guess cows are smarter than you think" either.

I can only think that this is a kind of avant garde attempt to poke fun at the Cornish, who, lest we forget, hounded you and your paramour, Frieda Brawn, out of the village after mistakenly mistaking you for a traffic warden.

If you have any sense, you will leave all this kind of thing to the likes of Virginia Woolf.


Ethel Clumper

PS There is no "Civil Works Department" west of North Cornwall either. A modicum of research would have fain shewed as much, had you been wont to bestir your loins in such a direction, rather than merely regurgititating half-masticated matter of this ilk or kith. The same applies to your reference to "Yorkshire Pie". In vain would the unfortunate gourmand seek such a sweetmeat through the 3 Ridings of Yorkshire.

From General Discussion / Dark Web Satire
Posted 17 Oct 17 19:23
"Guys"? There's nobbut me here marra.

Quote: Clive Danton

Awwwww you guys! *lights pipe and throws playful punch*

From General Discussion / Nottingham Walrus
Posted 16 Oct 17 22:12
Surely you remember those debates with the likes of Earl Gray. The mandarins were the Chinese who used the cormorants for fishing.

Quote: victor nicholas

I have a riveting tie I wear on special occasions, did not catch the mandarin reference, are we talking ducks?

From General Discussion / Yowser yowser yowser
Posted 16 Oct 17 21:18



From General Discussion / Dark Web Satire
Posted 16 Oct 17 21:15
What do you mean "how everything's coming allah?" Are you one of them Muslins?

Quote: Clive Danton

Hello there!
Just thought I'd pop my head round the door to see how everything's coming al...ah.
*stumbles from site*

From General Discussion / Dark Web Satire
Posted 14 Oct 17 17:48
That's rather good!

Quote: Sir Geoffroy Cockface

Quote: victor nicholas

Is anyone here knowingly or unknowingly writing satire on the dark web.

I think The Spoof occupies the cob web - an untouched corner of the internet that nobody ever bothers to dust.

From General Discussion / Strange Dream
Posted 9 Oct 17 18:53
When we dream, it seems real, within the parameters of the dream.

After the dream ends, it vanishes, never to return.

Those things that can be seen in the dream, the dream phenomena, are not lastingly real.

The only thing in the dream that has lasting reality is the dreaming mind itself. The dreaming mind itself cannot be seen in the dream.

Hence, dream-wise, that which is experienced is not ultimately real.

That which is ultimately real, and which generates the dream-experiences, cannot itself be experienced. You cannot experience it because you are it.

Perhaps "waking life" is like this in some way.

From General Discussion / Strange Dream
Posted 6 Oct 17 17:17
Why do we never dream we are asleep?

From General Discussion / Strange Dream
Posted 4 Oct 17 20:17
I used to frequent a hippocampus. I took my degree in pachydermology at The Nile University.

It was OK, apart from the crocodiles in the lecture theatres.

Metaphorical shovels are probably what one would use to dig poetry.

From General Discussion / Headlines You Would Like to See
Posted 3 Oct 17 23:14
James Corden Yet To Emerge From Bermuda Triangle

From General Discussion / Bob Dylan covers
Posted 3 Oct 17 23:13
How disappointing! I was tempted by the prospect of a duvet with Bob Dylan's face on it, only to be confronted by a load of old tripe.

If I'd wanted old tripe I would have rifled through my butcher's intestines, sorry, dustbins.

Thank God this so-called "material world" is a mere figment, and its "objects" nothing but ideas.


Bishop George Berkeley
High Dudgeon

From General Discussion / Count Arthur Strong
Posted 3 Oct 17 23:11
Here is a superbly moving rendering of the immortal

Deck of Cards

From General Discussion / Conundrums
Posted 3 Oct 17 21:04
You can beat a kettle drum.

But you can't beat a good conundrum.

From General Discussion / It's Great To Be Back
Posted 3 Oct 17 21:03
Yes, it's like being in a room with Wilde, Shaw and Whistler.

Whistler's mother, anyway.

From News Discussion / Monument Charged in Animal Misconduct Case: Said to be the first of its kind, more likely to follow
Posted 3 Oct 17 20:58
Bizarre. Keep up the good work. 5* from me.

PS if you're looking for support and advice on here, well, good luck with that.

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Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

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