All times are GMT

Forum Home / Forum posts by Erskin Quint


167 Pages - [1] 2 3 4 5 » »»
From Magazine Discussion / My Mother Was A Margarine Smuggler
Posted 19 Jul 14 09:47
Message
Fortunately for us, my mother was less rigid in her criteria. For us, rice pudding was allowed in our stomachs as well as in the kitchen. Hence we were allowed to go out once we had eaten the pudding.

If we had been forced to stay in the kitchen until we had digested the pudding, we would no doubt have got in her way.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 6 Jul 14 12:47
Message
Sexbombs, erotic, x-rated bombs, obviously must be sextinguished!

 
From Magazine Discussion / My Mother Was A Margarine Smuggler
Posted 6 Jul 14 12:45
Message
Of course, if ever there were a call to arms one should heed, that would be it.

Which brings me to the famous Corsican explorer, Tesco Van Morrison.

He it was who introduced the concept of the milk pudding to the bottle-nosed pygmies of the Javanese hinterlands. Not long after, their neighbours and rivals, the blue-eared bone-collectors, were to be found worshipping the steamed pudding in their wicker temples in the wake of the explorer.

Benevolent though his intention may have been, it was the intervention of Tesco Van Morrison that set in train the infamous "100 Year Pygmy Pudding Wars" of the Javanese hinterlands.

Surely therein lies a lesson for us all. "Let a pudding steam splendidly in the right kitchen and all is well", as the old North Country proverb has it.

Wise words.





 
From News Discussion / J. P. Sartre Warns of "Existential Threat" to the English Language
Posted 5 Jul 14 22:55
Message
Not sure it's mere insanity, JO. I think it's really clever, informed and a sound satire on the feeble-mindedness that abounds in this age of intrusive technology.

It manages to be a good spoof in its brevity but also it's full of real ideas unlike so much of the half-arsed crap that appears on the site.

 
From Magazine Discussion / My Mother Was A Margarine Smuggler
Posted 5 Jul 14 10:42
Message
Ah yes, the waving meadow, the smell of fresh hay, the cuckoo in early Summer, and rice pudding all year round.

A man who weeps at the memory of the curlew's mournful skirl can hardly entertain thoughts of war, Victor.



 
From Magazine Discussion / My Mother Was A Margarine Smuggler
Posted 4 Jul 14 19:30
Message
Good evening Victor. Yes, she used custard, most likely Bird's. She made rice pudding too, with wonderful skin on it.



 
From Magazine Discussion / My Mother Was A Margarine Smuggler
Posted 3 Jul 14 22:55
Message
My Mother made wonderful macaroni pudding.

I don't know if that counts, as the man said, handing over the broken abacus.

 
From News Discussion / J. P. Sartre Warns of "Existential Threat" to the English Language
Posted 26 Jun 14 22:07
Message
5 from me, well done, this is what we want, not the usual drivel.

 
From General Discussion / Electric Eels
Posted 7 Jun 14 09:46
Message
No. No time at all.

Flogging a dead duck.

Don't worry - I'll fuck off now.

 
From General Discussion / Electric Eels
Posted 6 Jun 14 22:44
Message
...............tumbleweed............................

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 6 Jun 14 20:17
Message
Yawping Austrian wildebeest-fancier pregnant in New Guinea.

 
From General Discussion / Electric Eels
Posted 6 Jun 14 20:14
Message
"Electric eels are one of the 500 types of fish that are capable of producing electricity", we learn.

How do all these fish manage that? Power stations? Turbines? Nuclear fission?

Hydro-electric could work well.

Dangerous though. Do they wear rubber suits?



 
From General Discussion / Toads
Posted 6 Jun 14 20:08
Message
You do know what Toad in the Hole is then?

 
From General Discussion / Toads
Posted 6 Jun 14 20:07
Message
What's it's name though? I want to get to know it.

 
From General Discussion / Scunthorpe
Posted 6 Jun 14 20:07
Message
Is Nik the cunt then?

So the answer is: 'the electorate'.

 
From General Discussion / Periscopes
Posted 6 Jun 14 19:51
Message
Well, yes, the subject is periscopes.

Periscopes is the subject and the subject is periscopes. So periscopes is the same thing as the subject. They are identical. Or are they?



'Then you should say what you mean,' the March Hare went on.

'I do,' Alice hastily replied; 'at least--at least I mean what I say--that's the same thing, you know.'

'Not the same thing a bit!' said the Hatter. 'You might just as well say that "I see what I eat" is the same thing as "I eat what I see"!'

'You might just as well say,' added the March Hare, 'that "I like what I get" is the same thing as "I get what I like"!'

'You might just as well say,' added the Dormouse, who seemed to be talking in his sleep, 'that "I breathe when I sleep" is the same thing as "I sleep when I breathe"!'

 
From General Discussion / Scunthorpe
Posted 5 Jun 14 20:11
Message
Who put the bomp
In the bomp bah-bomp bah-bomp?
Who put the ram
In the rama-lama ding-dong?
Who put the bop
In the bop shoo-bop shoo-bop?
Who put the dip
In the dip da-dip da-dip?


That's all very well, but who put the cunt in Scunthorpe?

 
From General Discussion / Toads
Posted 5 Jun 14 20:02
Message
Which is your favourite?

We need to know.

 
From General Discussion / Toads
Posted 5 Jun 14 19:59
Message
Ignore this I will do it again.

 
From General Discussion / Toads
Posted 5 Jun 14 19:57
Message
Which is your favourite toad?

We need to know.

 
From General Discussion / Periscopes
Posted 5 Jun 14 19:45
Message
This is all very well.

Not sure how it bears upon the subject at hand.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 5 Jun 14 19:44
Message
Yak acting kinetically.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 4 Jun 14 18:53
Message
Dead? Emily Anne dead?

 
From General Discussion / Spiny Echidnas
Posted 3 Jun 14 21:40
Message
"They eat ants, but they are not related to the true anteaters of the Americas."

Hang on a minute. If they eat ants, surely they are true anteaters in their own right.

See this? This is exactly the kind of perfidious language used by those in power to enthrall and delude the masses.

 
From General Discussion / Periscopes
Posted 3 Jun 14 21:35
Message
Well?

 
167 Pages - [1] 2 3 4 5 » »»
Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

Go to top

Who is online?

There is 1 registered user currently online: 1 is active , none are currently inactive .

Users online:


Profile Featured Writer

Vondrook
Vondrook
Joined: 17 March 2009
Stories Written: 50

Go to top