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From General Discussion / The Bakers' Film Club
Posted 30 Mar 15 16:00
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The Buns of Navarone
Bunfight at the OK Corral
Bread October
Iced Bun Station Zebra
Pie
Bring Me The Bread of Alfredo Garcia
Petit Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
Five Easy Pieces of Cake
Tarzan of the Canapes
The Tart is a Lonely Hunter



 
From General Discussion / Funny Things About Hedges
Posted 30 Mar 15 15:40
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I can't think of any.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 30 Mar 15 15:23
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Deafening eulogies are false eulogies. Noise is no guide.

 
From General Discussion / The "N" Word Comedy Sketch
Posted 30 Mar 15 15:21
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It does. Do you think you and I are the right people to make this work?

We could bestride the marketplace like a colostomy.

 
From News Discussion / Man From Duck Dynasty With Silly Looking Beard Talks Utter Crap
Posted 29 Mar 15 19:47
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Lots of energy here.

Ducks have their place of course.

 
From General Discussion / The "N" Word Comedy Sketch
Posted 29 Mar 15 19:45
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'N' isn't a word.

 
From News Discussion / Interview With UK Prime Minister David Cameron
Posted 27 Mar 15 19:34
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Well-aimed and well-intentioned.

 
From General Discussion / James Corden
Posted 26 Mar 15 20:53
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He certainly swallows his own publicity, vomits it back at the viewer and expects them to swallow it themselves.

The Gary Barlow thing is a good one. The show where they were on stage together a while back was surely an all-time high. Like watching Gary Barlow stood next to a cheap Gary Barlow blimp. Or vice versa.

There's probably spoof material here, which I am unlikely to write.

 
From General Discussion / James Corden
Posted 25 Mar 15 21:18
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Set to take over the US chat show scene. Hooray.

He's no Michael Parkinson.

Of course, Michael Parkinson is no James Corden either, which is the only compliment I would ever pay the brown-nosing professional Yorkshire cnut.

 
From News Discussion / Stock photo model admits "My life isn't that exciting"
Posted 25 Mar 15 21:09
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In the old days this would have been written about catalogue models. Then again, it wouldn't, as there would have been no internet, hence no Spoof in those days.

Isn't linear Time a killer?

 
From General Discussion / The Spoof is Home to Funny Writers
Posted 25 Mar 15 21:03
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Quote: Jaggedone

schizo symptoms are not always neg EQ, you are proof of that...


Symptoms? What?

Ah, but what is schizophrenia, eh? A disease, a mere symptom cluster, a cultural label born of evil control?

It wouldn't be entirely surprising if my mental health was suffering currently, actually, as - I won't go into details, but - life is pretty much hell in EQ-land right now, and 'things fall apart; the centre cannot hold' seems apt.

But, hey, at least none of this has any lasting reality. We have that consolation.



 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 23 Mar 15 18:06
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Loud (oh, utterly deafening).

 
From General Discussion / The Spoof is Home to Funny Writers
Posted 23 Mar 15 18:04
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Maybe Victor was agreeing with Erskine after all, and not me. Not that I am Erskin either, actually. Well, I might be, some of the time.

Identity, eh, what can you do with it?

 
From News Discussion / Stock photo model admits "My life isn't that exciting"
Posted 23 Mar 15 18:01
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Ah, thank you Victor, ever the calm voice of reason in a turbulent time. Personally, for a plural, I would have opted for just putting an 's' on the end, but what do I know?

 
From General Discussion / The Spoof is Home to Funny Writers
Posted 20 Mar 15 19:59
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I agree with Nick.

 
From News Discussion / Stock photo model admits "My life isn't that exciting"
Posted 19 Mar 15 23:25
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With the availability of stockphotos, you can have a cracking hot secretary, need a picture of a call team comprised of supermodels you can have that. How about a baby hedgehog with an apple stuck to its spines? It's all possible now thanks to the emergence of these stock sites.


"In most European countries, hedgehogs are believed to be a hard-working no-nonsense animal[citation needed]. This partially results from the folk belief that hedgehogs collect apples and mushrooms and carry them to their secret storage." (Wikipedia)

I have to say that my personal experience does not tally with any of this stuff about hedgehogs, as most of the hedgehogs I know are far from "hard-working no-nonsense". Yes, they collect mushrooms (magic ones I reckon, from the way they carry on). But I have never seen one with an apple on its spines.

Also, what is a "call team comprised of supermodels"?

 
From General Discussion / Bugler Alarms
Posted 19 Mar 15 23:09
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I am thinking of getting a bugler alarm as the frightening tinny blast of the bugle is anathema to me.

I did buy a smock alarm a while ago and it has been a resounding success. Smock-wise, my life is largely a smock-free zone lately and I wish the same could be said for buglers.

Of course, this may well be yet another cry in the wildebeest. Wilderness.

(Might there be a role for the bugler in sounding an alarum for the herd upon the appearance of the dreadful lion? With any luck, the lions would turn on the bugler instead, giving the wildebeest free passage to the next waterhole.)




 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 19 Mar 15 22:42
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Screened, censored, rendered erotically empty. Not exciting. Dull.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 3 Feb 15 22:01
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Solipsism offers liberation: inferring physical states is simply mental.


Is this supposed to be funny? Why? Is anybody reading this? I hope this isn't supposed to be funny. I hope nobody is reading this.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 31 Jan 15 19:12
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Errors really rule, overwhelming rare sequiturs.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 31 Dec 14 19:49
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Sequitur excites quibble. Unclubbable individual takes umbrage, results-wise.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 26 Dec 14 14:37
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"Socks, or cautiously kinky stockings."

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 23 Oct 14 19:27
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Secularization? English churches undergo lulls, as rudimentary idealisms ("zealotries") and tenuous idiocies overpower noetics.

 
From Magazine Discussion / My Mother Was A Margarine Smuggler
Posted 19 Jul 14 09:47
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Fortunately for us, my mother was less rigid in her criteria. For us, rice pudding was allowed in our stomachs as well as in the kitchen. Hence we were allowed to go out once we had eaten the pudding.

If we had been forced to stay in the kitchen until we had digested the pudding, we would no doubt have got in her way.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 6 Jul 14 12:47
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Sexbombs, erotic, x-rated bombs, obviously must be sextinguished!

 
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Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

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