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From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 24 Sep 16 13:31
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Clarity lends authenticity, reality, in theological yearning.

 
From General Discussion / Poetry Corner
Posted 24 Sep 16 13:29
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I want to be an Arab is an acidic little piece which is trying to be aggressively anti-Islamic.

It is a fine piece of invective, perhaps a bit strong for the dear old Spoof, but I like it.

There is here as ever a talent at work, a power of language and energy. Again, it could be improved. I feel that using 'shite' detracts from the piece, being a lazy usage.

Poetry or verse ought to be able to stand alone and bear repeated reading. Doesn't matter in The Spoof but if you aspire beyond The Spoof you might want to work a bit more at your pieces.

I like the way you stray from strict meter, this is an excellent comic device (see Ogden Nash, I recommend him).

Of course, not all Arabs are Muslims, much less Fundamentalists. Some are Christians. This ought to be borne in mind, - lest the piece be seen as mere half-baked abuse.

There is also the angle that the piece is as much about the writer as anything....

 
From General Discussion / Poetry Corner
Posted 23 Sep 16 19:42
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I Feel Like a Bird, again, has the basis of something but needs work.

I like the Feel Like a Bird theme as it implies a desperation to escape and that creates a strong tension but, though there is a powerful opaqueness or even surreality to this piece, I feel the last verse is a problem because the Feel Like a Bird motif is too much at odds with the grimness.

The piece could explore in a more developed way the contrast between the Bird aspirations and the reality of the depression, eg by starting off feeling like a bird then gradually sinking down into the grim reality, - OR perhaps just using the notions of being like a bird, the freedom - which gives this piece a lot of energy - and playing in a fluctuating way with the relationship of that to the harsh reality of the everyday misery.

Or not, as you see fit.

 
From General Discussion / Poetry Corner
Posted 22 Sep 16 19:55
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Hello MW.

I have perused your work and found it rather jolly. It's a neat piece of 'light verse' or 'humorous doggerel'.

I like the structure, with the 5th line of each stanza subverting the rhyme-scheme.

It could probably benefit from a bit of honing here and there, eg you could tighten up the rhythms - and you could make the 5th lines a bit stronger (you might experiment with various things such as perhaps giving all the 5th lines their own rhyme or something).

Of course, it may be that you can't be arsed with all that.

Up to you old fruit.

E Quint

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 21 Sep 16 19:06
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Nonsense: often numinous. Sense, effectively, not sense. Epiphanic.

 
From General Discussion / Poetry Corner
Posted 20 Sep 16 20:13
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Your Cats

To celebrate your lovely cats, let's strike a bargain:
Why don't I leave my shit around your garden?

Your cats are so insouciantly elegant and inscrutable,
And eminently shootable.

 
From General Discussion / 'Mark' looks like Marcia...
Posted 19 Sep 16 19:22
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How do you know what Mark looks like?



 
From General Discussion / Poetry Corner
Posted 18 Sep 16 20:24
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Quote: Sir Geoffroy Cockface

[poetry deleted for being too rubbish]

All poetry is shit.



Exactly the kind of irony we need on this thread! Keep up the good work, Cockface!

 
From General Discussion / Poetry Corner
Posted 18 Sep 16 20:22
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Song of the Penguin

Drumlins are cool.
Drumlins rule.
Drumlins should be taught at school (like they are, actually).


Bishops

I love bishops, especially their hats
Even though they look like twats.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 18 Sep 16 20:19
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Masturbatory? Ah, "shocking" terminology. Unfunny rudeness. Banal articulation. Terminally ordinary rhetoric. Yawn.



 
From General Discussion / Poetry Corner
Posted 17 Sep 16 12:54
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OK, here it is. Post your verse here!

The Oak Tree

O mighty oak
whose boughs bear the burden of winter's snow
why do you not weep?

O mighty oak
that stands amid the driven corn
why are you not bent?

O mighty oak
whose unseen roots encircle all
bury me in your shade.

Rabbit

I kill the milk-faced rabbit while the moon peers
Orange through the sycamores

I throw the rags of rabbit into a ditch while the moon leers
Butter-cheeked in puddle-glass

Dawn brings the world to my window; grief blears
The curtains' milky moonlit membrane

 
From General Discussion / Animals
Posted 15 Sep 16 20:13
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I second that! In fact, I might go so far as to start a poetry corner thread, one of these days.

"One of which days?"

"Er, I don't know how to answer that. I have to admit that 'these days' is a kind of lazy conceit. Obviously there are no days laid out awaiting selection like so many hats or ceremonial cummerbunds. Oh dear.

"What are we going to do now?"

"I don't know. I was only trying to find out if you had a start date in mind for the Poetry Corner thread."

"Don't talk to me about start dates when I'm having a metaphysical crisis."



POETRY CORNER: COMING SOON TO A THREAD NEAR YOU

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 15 Sep 16 20:06
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Yodelling? Oh dear! Endless lame lazy interjections. Normative gnomism.

 
From General Discussion / Bottle-Nosed Wombats
Posted 15 Sep 16 19:45
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It was a satire on didactic rhetoric.

 
From General Discussion / The Northwest passage
Posted 13 Sep 16 20:43
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I be just back off a three-yearer on a nine-knot tramp, short-handed an' broken-yarded at that, an' I don't take kindly to hearin' all this bilge out o' the mouths o' land-lubbers sich as yersels. Wictoriern Sailer, eh? Ha! I'd like ter see ye last three year on ship's biscuit an' hard tack, an not so mich as the bosun's rope ter tickle yer fancy on a stormy night.

Seaman Staines

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 13 Sep 16 20:37
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Yodellers often display ecstacy, lyrically lilting, ecstatically ringing sonorously.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 12 Sep 16 20:08
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Smells marvellous: eucalyptus, liquorice, lemon, strawberry.

 
From General Discussion / The Bearded Adder of the Zambezi
Posted 5 Sep 16 18:40
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The Tompkinson's Collared Water Snake, on the other hand, pays scant regard to convention, often appearing for dinner in the most deplorable state of deshabilee. Its table manners are shocking.

 
From News Discussion / Roger Ailes Takes Over The Spoof, Writers Replaced By Robots
Posted 30 Aug 16 14:35
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Lovely. Well-written and punchy.

Those robots are coming up with some good ideas. Where can I get one?

 
From General Discussion / Animals
Posted 28 Aug 16 13:20
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Does a cow take a bow?
Will a horse sue for divorce?
Does a pig dance a jig?
Can a cat sport a top hat?
Does a fish make a wish?
Will an axlotl hit the bottle?
Can a llama script a drama?
Do rabbits have habits?
Will the komodo dragon raise a flagon?




 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 25 Aug 16 20:18
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Eyewitness yawns. Eyewitness, weary, is tired.

Now, eyewitness sleeps soundly.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 23 Aug 16 19:38
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"Knockers! New oak coated knockers! Easter reductions! Sale!"

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 22 Aug 16 22:01
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Suspended, under suspicion, priest eats noodles, dreading each daybreak.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 20 Aug 16 18:35
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Garters are rather titillating, encompassing red stockings.

 
From General Discussion / The Bearded Adder of the Zambezi
Posted 20 Aug 16 18:33
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The deadly Bearded Adder of the Zambezi was discovered, not by M. Hercule Leitmotif, but by accident in 1853, when Bertram Huysmans-Paffle, who was attempting to navigate Lake Kariba in a Welsh coracle, anchored for the night and disturbed one while he was dressing for dinner.

 
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