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From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 7 Feb 09 21:00
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Always look well at your surgery

 
From General Discussion / Whoops!
Posted 7 Feb 09 20:44
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Quote: Monkey Woods


Quote: IN SEINE

That describes Monkey Woods to a tee!

and yes he is a bastard too, but from W. Midlands.




Whoever told you I was from the West Midlands, Trev?

I can assure you, I am not. I merely live here at the moment.


OK, OK... I should've known NOBODY in the W. Midlands supports Hull City!

Somebody said you were a Muslim.......is that right?

Where's Mecca?

Are you an II?

~IS~

 
From General Discussion / Whoops!
Posted 7 Feb 09 19:28
Message

Quote: Skoob1999

Who told you?

If it was Mrs Skoob don't believe her.

She's a compulsive liar.

With OCD

And an unnatural fixation with eBay.

Best wishes you Yorkshire bastard

Your Friendly Neighbourhood Manc


That's strange....

That describes Monkey Woods to a tee!

and yes he is a bastard too, but from W. Midlands.

Are you sure Mrs Skoob is not Monkey Woods?

~IS~

 
From News Discussion / "I've been healed! I've been healed!" cries Nurse
Posted 6 Feb 09 13:26
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Quote: Monkey Woods

A bit rambling.

Might have worked better as a play.

We'll never know. Will we?


Sorry, I've been proofreading for Shakespeare of late!

Wait till you see the musical hit Broadway!

~IS~

 
From News Discussion / "I've been healed! I've been healed!" cries Nurse
Posted 6 Feb 09 08:57
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If a Muslim did it, would she be suspended - I think not - Diversity and Equality.

Probably get a shoe thrown at them!

~IS~

 
From News Discussion / Pope 'Gay'
Posted 6 Feb 09 08:53
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Quote: Fergus McCarthy

Quote: Who the fuck gave him that title? He's also infallible, he's the human equivalent of a big red phone with a direct line to 'God'.

Why doesn't he use the fucking thing?

Is he afraid of the phone bill?


When der Pope gives God a ring he has to kiss it!

~IS~

 
From General Discussion / Favourite Pubs/Bars
Posted 5 Feb 09 13:45
Message

Quote: Skoob1999

You can't beat a nice cup of tea first thing in the morning.

Regards

Skoob


That's strange because you cannot beat a boiled egg in the morning (or at any other time)

~IS~

 
From General Discussion / Just Want to Get this off of my Chest
Posted 5 Feb 09 12:13
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Am I missing something here?

The only connection I can see is 'Vicks' chestrub - goosegrease with menthol?

~IS~

 
From News Discussion / Another Great British Brand to disappear
Posted 5 Feb 09 11:22
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Nice ending. I wish her son, Russell would go with her

~IS~

 
From General Discussion / So. Learning to Spoof while in the slammer is out out out...
Posted 26 Jan 09 21:48
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Quote: Jesus Budda


Quote: IN SEINE


Quote: Jesus Budda



How are you keepin', In Seine?
Good I hope.

A certain person was spreading the rumor I murdered, dismembered and buried you.
Which wasn't true.


Of course you didn't JB. I've been on a PD course run by Paul Lowton!

Learned loads - now to put it into action.

~IS~


What the hell is PD?

Penile Dysfunction?
Hmmm, I'm not sure you be able to put that into much action, In Seine.



PD = Private Detective or Private Investigator in your country. In this country a private investigator is someone who looks at/fondles their own equipment.

~IS~

 
From General Discussion / So. Learning to Spoof while in the slammer is out out out...
Posted 26 Jan 09 16:26
Message

Quote: Jesus Budda



How are you keepin', In Seine?
Good I hope.

A certain person was spreading the rumor I murdered, dismembered and buried you.
Which wasn't true.


Of course you didn't JB. I've been on a PD course run by Paul Lowton!

Learned loads - now to put it into action.

~IS~

 
From General Discussion / So. Learning to Spoof while in the slammer is out out out...
Posted 25 Jan 09 22:51
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Quote: victor nicholas

Why not teach crimals stand-up?


or even spell

~IS~

 
From General Discussion / Whatever happened to Henman?
Posted 25 Jan 09 22:23
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Quote: victor nicholas

My opinion is I think they got the wrong goat.


You goata be kidding me!

~IS~

 
From General Discussion / So. Learning to Spoof while in the slammer is out out out...
Posted 25 Jan 09 22:20
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Straw clamps down on prison comedy classes


Sounds like they're expecting Jonathon Ross soon...

Be prepared, I say!

~IS~

 
From General Discussion / Whatever happened to Henman?
Posted 25 Jan 09 21:55
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Is this Henman or his mum?

Just asking!

'Billy the Kid' strikes again


~IS~

 
From News Discussion / MFI Wardrobe Collapses Just To Top Things Off!
Posted 20 Dec 08 19:31
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Nice One Duncan - (though not so nice if you work for them).

How did you know it was the Lion and the witch?

I know, I was there - I'm a closet claustrophobic! I've just come out.

5*

~IS~

 
From News Discussion / First World Projectile Vomiting Championships to be Launched
Posted 8 Dec 08 08:28
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Thought I'd throw this one up for discussion. Makes quite putrid reading!


~IS~

 
From News Discussion / Politically Correct Pen Pushers Ban Latin phrases from English as "Elitist"
Posted 6 Dec 08 21:41
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Quote: Monkey Woods

Is he back?

Or not?

We should know.


Self-confession?

~IS~

 
From General Discussion / Russell Brand writes on here?
Posted 31 Oct 08 21:28
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It is rumoured that Russell Brand writes on here, but what is his alter ego?

It IS trick or treat night,so it could just be an evil rumour.

~IS~

 
From General Discussion / Who likes my new avatar?
Posted 31 Oct 08 16:54
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Quote: Jalapenoman

So, you've stopped spanking the Monkey and started in with Carina. I'll bet Mrs. Woods is happy.


So are you saying?

............No....can't be...

Carina was Monkey Woods' wife?

explains alot!

~IS~

 
From News Discussion / Hey…Pimp my Ride…Coppa!
Posted 29 Oct 08 19:13
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Watch out kids! Russell Brand hides here!

~IS~

 
From News Discussion / Harry Redknapp Kidnapped By Tottenham Thugs
Posted 29 Oct 08 19:02
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Quote: Duncan Whitehead


Quote: Lily White

this made me laugh! "ortsmouth's gay, black player, Sol Campbell"
did a 'racist', 'homophobic' Spurs fan write this!


Don't EVER call Monkey a racist!! Been there, done that.....where is Cockle these days?

Sol Campbell is Scottish anyway.


He makes great soup too! (not Monkey, Sol Campbell)

~IS~

 
From General Discussion / WTF Spoof ad...
Posted 27 Oct 08 15:09
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Quote: queen mudder

This ad appears on the Click Here to log-out page on the Spoof site:

Girls Menstruation
Symptoms, Conditions, Treatments... Girls Menstruation Articles & Pics!


Pics? Pics?

Someone takin' the piss?


Nah... They want your blood!

(It is Halloween)

~IS~

 
From General Discussion / I thought this was a spoof until I read it...
Posted 26 Oct 08 21:50
Message

Quote: Monkey Woods
MW: I disagree. Ross and Brand live by the sword. Let them die by it.


I have.


Not true. You've never died by the sword...yet.

I'll arrange it with JB if you really want to die by the sword.

or..

Perhaps you need to change your tag line!

~IS~

 
From General Discussion / C[ ]ocks go back tonite...
Posted 26 Oct 08 11:17
Message

Quote: victor nicholas

Buck

Your new picture makes you seem more eloquent somehow.


Does it work?


.....Wearing a bandage for a headache?

~IS~

 
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