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From News Discussion / Sexual epidemic sweeps the UK! Queen goes into hiding!
Posted 10 May 08 13:21
Message

Quote: Jalapenoman

What? No line that says "The British Navy announced that they were finally happy the rest of the country decided to see things their way"?


You cheeky Git J'man!

The saying "Hello Sailor !" no longer has any gay conotations any more.

~IS~

 
From News Discussion / China Too Overpopulated, Too Powerful, Too Chinese, Say Enemies
Posted 7 May 08 14:31
Message

Quote: Monkey Woods

And they'd buy them J-man.

Anyone ever eaten dog?


I had collieflower & cheese once

Chihuahua & chips is not bad either, although it tastes like chicken.

~IS~

 
From News Discussion / Mark Lowton 'rescued' from 2 weeks in Austrian Dungeon. New wife doesn't believe him!
Posted 7 May 08 13:48
Message

Quote: BuckwheatsButt

Awful silence from Mark this morning.............


YEP..just me across pond and you & Jman over there!

Where's qm and Duncan?

~IS~

 
From News Discussion / Mark Lowton 'rescued' from 2 weeks in Austrian Dungeon. New wife doesn't believe him!
Posted 7 May 08 11:34
Message
"Mrs. Lowton was unavailable for comment and reportedly was suffering from a sprained wrist caused by repeated liftings of a heavy object."


That would be Mark's wallet then?

~IS~

 
From General Discussion / IRS
Posted 6 May 08 20:18
Message
Jar Jar's jewels




~IS~

 
From General Discussion / IRS
Posted 6 May 08 20:15
Message
Sebulba shows new thruster

Binks laden

Sky****er Secrets

~IS~

 
From News Discussion / Will Smith - 'I am a leg end'
Posted 6 May 08 17:30
Message
Haven't I give it 5* before?

I suppose where there's a Will, there's a way!

~IS~

 
From General Discussion / IRS
Posted 6 May 08 12:33
Message

Quote: BuckwheatsButt

Looks like a semen dropping from Star War's C3PO's latest porn thriller!

BUCK


Is that the one with 'Jabba the Hut in tutu' centrefold?

or

'Chewbacca goes down on himself' edition?

or

'Darth Does Dallas' exclusive?

Raunchy!

~IS~

 
From General Discussion / IRS
Posted 5 May 08 20:14
Message
A drop of snot?

Castor oil?

~IS~

 
From General Discussion / IRS
Posted 5 May 08 12:14
Message

Quote: Duncan Whitehead

....and another thing - UK Premium Bonds suck - I have had the maximum holding for 4 years - why have I never won a big prize?





Hey Dunc,

The rules have changed now...

As from April 1st, NO prize money is to leave the UK. We give most of ours to Europe and our armed forces so we cannot afford to let any more out otherwise we shall be skint!

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news!

~IS~

 
From News Discussion / Not So Gay Lesbians to Take Court Action
Posted 5 May 08 11:57
Message
This is a story of Human Rights Vs Gay Rights.

Do Animal Rights have the same problem?

~IS~


 
From News Discussion / Miley Cyrus Travelling to Iraq to Entertain Troops and Hopefully be Blown to Simthereens
Posted 5 May 08 09:55
Message

Quote: Sophie Jayne


Quote: BuckwheatsButt

I met Radcliffe at an embassy party in London last year. Nice enough fellow but peculiar in a way.

Very questionable personal hygiene habits too! Wife noticed he had atrocious smelling breath, and his teeth were tinged with green near the gums. Yuck!

Also, had another 'pal' with him instead of a regular date that one normally brings to such a function, which I thought kind of wierd at the time, but knowing London who knows!

First impression of Radcliffe? Asshole! Pompous! Pig!

So, suck away Sophie!

BUCK


That is should a lie.
He is sweet charming misunderstood and most impotantly RICH.


Sophie, read Nickfun's story about 98% of women should be incarcerated before you say that!

~IS~

 
From News Discussion / Farmer's Inflatable Pig goes down on him
Posted 5 May 08 08:38
Message
I wonder.... would such a device be offensive to Islam. Are there any Muslims on the spoof who could tell me?

~IS~

 
From News Discussion / Farmer's Inflatable Pig goes down on him
Posted 4 May 08 17:11
Message

Quote: Everyman

Worth 5 stars for the "i've never made a rasher decision" line alone.


Thanks Everyman. I like your stories too. However, I wonder if the request at the bottom in red is too close for comfort or too cheeky?Or is it just piggin poo?

What d'ya think?



I've got a good tagline for you:

"Better quit while your a head"

or

"A head of the rest"

or

"All I ever wanted was a little head"

Was that picture taken on your holiday to Skegness?

Do people keep kicking sand in your face?

~IS~

 
From General Discussion / HAPPY STAR WARS DAY!
Posted 4 May 08 13:28
Message

Quote: Sophie Jayne

Why is Daniel Radcliffe not in star wars?


He is!

Call yourself an expert?

"Radcliffe has been playing the part of Jabba the Hut for twenty years now." (source: Wikidpedia.com)

Thought I've seen that tongue somewhere else

~IS~

 
From News Discussion / Miley Cyrus Travelling to Iraq to Entertain Troops and Hopefully be Blown to Simthereens
Posted 4 May 08 11:24
Message

Quote: Sophie Jayne

WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU WANT TO BLOW HIM UP????


Errr Hello...

because that's what you do with sex dolls!

Get real Sophie Jayne, that the nearest YOU'LL get to Radders.

~IS~

 
From General Discussion / HAPPY STAR WARS DAY!
Posted 4 May 08 10:54
Message
MAY THE FOURTH BE WITH YOU!


~IS~

 
From General Discussion / Bored ****less and witless.
Posted 3 May 08 17:15
Message

Quote: Fergus McCarthy

Reykjavik Iceland.

She has a famous sister called Bjork and her Grandfather used to host a television program in the UK called 'Mastermind' where people were given the task of looking after a school Headmaster for a week without getting lines or detention.

Her brother owns a nationwide chain of frozen food stores and shoe shops.

It could be a different Carina.

Ferg


Yeah, she could be a talking car...

Not Kitt out of Knight Rider, but one of them Japanese jobbies...a Toyota Carina.

She's writing a book: "Tales from the back seat"

She has been driven by many men - usually taxi drivers!

~IS~

 
From General Discussion / Bored ****less and witless.
Posted 3 May 08 15:12
Message

Quote: Fergus McCarthy


Quote: IN SEINE


Quote: carina-eta

I laughed like a drain for the first hour, then it stops being funny.



*puzzled*

How does one laugh like a drain???

~IS~





Practice.

Ferg


But Ferg I don't live in an effluent society like what carina does.

Those folk in the frozen north do things differently and so she probably does it naturally... besides, I have an aversion to Dyna-Rod men!

I bet they laugh at drains!

~IS~

 
From General Discussion / Bored ****less and witless.
Posted 3 May 08 13:31
Message

Quote: carina-eta

I laughed like a drain for the first hour, then it stops being funny.



*puzzled*

How does one laugh like a drain???

~IS~

 
From General Discussion / IRS
Posted 3 May 08 10:54
Message

Quote: Mark Lowton


Quote: IN SEINE


Quote: Mark Lowton

Well blow me, they already have!

I didn't win either, if it's any concellation.


Mark,I admire your faith...expecting to win while holding £1 bond is pushing the boundaries

~IS~


Hey, you've got to be in it, to win it, kid!


Oh, That explains why I keep winning ****...

PILES OF IT!

~IS~

 
From News Discussion / Bank Holiday 'not all it's cracked up to be' claims Howard
Posted 3 May 08 10:50
Message
Can be real THUGS these tellers;

" Last year some guy from Lloyds kicked sand in my face and the guys from the TSB tried to pull my trunks down in front of everybody.'"

Great work STD (what an unfortunate and embarrasing name abreviation) - 5*

~IS~

 
From News Discussion / Second satellite launched for use in Miley Cyrus global positioning system
Posted 3 May 08 10:40
Message
I thought it funny in an English, points-whoring sort of way.

BTW 5*

~IS~

 
From General Discussion / IRS
Posted 3 May 08 10:30
Message

Quote: Jalapenoman

I'm actually rather pleased with the IRS in the USA today. My tax rebate check deposited this morning and my summer vacation is now paid for.



A week in Guantanamo Bay?

Nice!

~IS~

 
From News Discussion / Magical Thinking: will New Labour admit defeat?
Posted 3 May 08 10:12
Message

Quote: Tragic Rabbit

arrggg...the mad editor strikes. amusing quotes gone, tags all gone but one.

sigh.


TR


Blame it on Sally, the elf - she's a tease!

~IS~

 
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Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

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bartlebysnopes
bartlebysnopes
Joined: 23 January 2008
Stories Written: 36

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