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From News Discussion / Warnings against panic cause panic, warn panic-merchants
Posted 13 Jun 08 08:45
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"Don't panic! Don't panic! ... Mr Mainwaring!"
(Corporal Jones 'Dad's Army')

~IS~

 
From General Discussion / US car dealer in free gun offer
Posted 12 Jun 08 08:21
Message

Quote: Jalapenoman


Quote: Fergus McCarthy


-------------------------------------------------------------

Do you really have guns JMan?

If you do, what are they?


Ferg


Are you joking? I grew up in Texas. It is the law that I have at least three guns in each room and a gun rack in my pick-up!

Actually, I own a 22 and a 30-30 (both are rifles). I also still have my first bb gun from when I was a kid. My father is going to give me his 357 (a pistol) as he is too old to fire it and I am the only person who ever uses it, but I forget to pick it up when I am over at his house.

My son has a bb gun, and a target quality pellet gun (he used to shoot in comptetitions a few years back). He wants a 22 for his birthday next year.


He'll be buying a compound in Waco next!

~IS~

 
From General Discussion / Jelly Beans.
Posted 11 Jun 08 22:54
Message
Baked Beans blow my mind.


There's a lovely old irish recipe for a pie with 239 beans in it.

You must NOT ADD one more

otherwise it would be




...TWO FARTY!!!


~IS~

 
From General Discussion / US car dealer in free gun offer
Posted 11 Jun 08 21:57
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I have 3 Gnus..........

all of them dyslexic!

~IS~

 
From General Discussion / What does Queen Mother look like?
Posted 11 Jun 08 19:09
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I don't read the Guardian.

I read 'Marmite Monthly' - the housewives choice

or

'Turdwatchers Weekly'

some very interesting articles there.

~IS~

 
From General Discussion / Clunky shoes
Posted 11 Jun 08 17:33
Message
Mark, it's called a 'BLOG', not a 'clogspot'

~IS~

 
From General Discussion / What does Queen Mother look like?
Posted 11 Jun 08 11:58
Message

Quote: Mr E. Mann

Turd [stories] are like Marmite

Heterosexual males tend to find them hilarious, whilst females find them tiresome.




Interesting? Would you like to elaborate on that remark.

I'm a heterosexual male and I don't find Marmite hilarious - I also know lots of ladies who do not find it tiresome. So what is the connection between turd stories and marmite?

Mistreyman, please think about what your writing...

~IS~

 
From News Discussion / Heidi Klum Blows Seal
Posted 11 Jun 08 11:07
Message

Quote: BuckwheatsButt

Maybe In Seine can split a month with QM.....


Sorry No can do. This is for MEN only - no room for Ladyboys!

Hard luck qm. Sometimes life's a bitch, most of the time qm is a bitch!

qm is a lady isn't she?

queen mudder, are you female?

A simple question which requires a yes or no answer.

~IS~

 
From News Discussion / Heidi Klum Blows Seal
Posted 10 Jun 08 19:25
Message

Quote: Jesus Budda


Quote: Duncan Whitehead

You've got quite defined and large biceps haven't you?

Do you work out?

Looking good, looking good.


Looks like the masturbation arm to me.

Yep. That's the one.

JB


Is the other one holding the magnifying glass?
(another California thing)

~IS~

 
From News Discussion / Irish Government Ban Combined Golfing and Fishing Tourist Trips
Posted 10 Jun 08 12:45
Message

Quote: Gordon Bennet


Quote: Fergus McCarthy


f**king Podolski.


What are these sausages like in Barbie Fergus?

GB.


Fergus? Barbies? Sausages?

I'd have thought he was more of an Action Man or Ken user or even My Little pony - Barbies!

Disgusting!

~IS~



 
From General Discussion / Bush In Cattle Class
Posted 9 Jun 08 21:55
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Quote: Duncan Whitehead

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7443964.stm

Reminds me of that Dan Quayle flight......


The one qm was on?

Just how many people can fly in a Cessna?

~IS~

 
From News Discussion / Henry Allingham rejoins RAF at 112
Posted 8 Jun 08 21:36
Message

Quote: BuckwheatsButt

I gave it a 5 star too.....Partly,just because it was good. The rest because it was great!

Mr. Henry Allingham is a true hero....I'm sure you'll never hear him say he was a flyer when he wasn't! Not like some low-lifes that steal the feats of others and use it for their own means and self-grander.


BUCK


The quote he made as to his longetivity is true (apart from the last bit where I added the irony)

Mr Allingham, have a drink on us!

Just think he has been through 90 years mourning the loss of many of his colleagues. Many thousands in other wars have had to suffer the same - beit in WWII, Korea, Vietnam, Iraq, Afghanistan and many others. Not only on front line, but also in training accidents.

We salute you!

~IS~

 
From News Discussion / Irish Government Ban Combined Golfing and Fishing Tourist Trips
Posted 8 Jun 08 20:30
Message

Quote: Duncan Whitehead

This is very funny I think.

I didn't push it into the forum though.

5 stars.


No I did!

I don't see eye to eye with GB on many things but I think this needs to be discussed. It may be handy four the Irish Tourist Board.

~IS~

 
From General Discussion / What does Queen Mother look like?
Posted 8 Jun 08 20:24
Message

Quote: Duncan Whitehead

That barrister was harsh looking - but when she came out with the wet hair after Mills threw water at her she looked a bit sexier.

Please discuss.


Mills was just trying to brainwash her.

~IS~

 
From General Discussion / What does Queen Mother look like?
Posted 8 Jun 08 20:13
Message

Quote: Jesus Budda



That new avatar is fantastic. 5 Stars from JB for you.



Jonbenet Ramsey Jnr



You need help JB - getting turned on by a collection of old bags!


~IS~

 
From News Discussion / Irish Government Ban Combined Golfing and Fishing Tourist Trips
Posted 8 Jun 08 19:06
Message
Very lengthy, but funny worthwhile 5* read.

Going Gishing next week (Gishing = Golfing/fishing) but not in Ireland) tanks for the warning

~IS~

 
From News Discussion / Henry Allingham rejoins RAF at 112
Posted 8 Jun 08 17:28
Message

Quote: Duncan Whitehead

Excellent story Mr IS.

See someone gave it 1 star.

No prizes for guessing who. Same 'loser' who was doing mine no doubt since I joined the site.

I gave it 5 my friend.


Thanks Duncan! I see that the culprit has quickly posted another thread over this to divert attention. You posted at 17:14 and they at 17:16 . Bring back Dr Maxwell I say!

Tally Ho!

~IS~

 
From News Discussion / Henry Allingham rejoins RAF at 112
Posted 8 Jun 08 16:56
Message
This is a bit of a rant on the expense of a flypast to celebrate a 112 year-old's birthday. I'm sure he's seen them many times before.

Where's the good old 'fight them on the beaches' spirit gone?

~IS~

 
From General Discussion / Mum, wtf is granny doing in the olympics?
Posted 7 Jun 08 14:36
Message

Quote: Fergus McCarthy


What does 'FFY' mean?


Ferguus


Featured Funny Yokel?


or some Irish golfing or fishing term

~IS~

 
From News Discussion / Bradford And Bingley Crisis: Latest
Posted 7 Jun 08 13:10
Message
How are things down at the library Monkey?

I gave it 5* too for the Scottish Widows caption alone!

Incidentally Scottish Widows will face cuts too as they will be downsized to Scottish Widow


~IS~

 
From News Discussion / Princess Beatrice uses Gastric Band
Posted 5 Jun 08 23:21
Message
Thanks GB - I thought I would create an unobvious story around an obvious headline.

I wrote a story months ago called 'traffic wardens face conscription' and features Richard Dannat. It has suddenly become relevant - I wonder if he reads the spoof?

~IS~

 
From General Discussion / It's funny coz it's true
Posted 4 Jun 08 23:09
Message

Quote: queen mudder

British holidaymaker wins compensation because his hotel was full of Germans
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1023098/British-holidaymaker-wins-compensation-hotel-Germans.html

Shades of Basil Fawlty....


Is this a spoof?

German holidays

~IS~

 
From News Discussion / Kenwynne Jones Breaks Dreadlock
Posted 4 Jun 08 21:52
Message

Quote: Monkey Woods

Is your wife free this Friday evening...say...11pm?

By the way, she's not a beast is she? I detest women that look likes beasts. Tell me she's not a beast.

I may have to write a story about your wife being a beast.



Monkey,

BREAST IS BEST

BEAST IS LEAST



~IS~

 
From News Discussion / Boris Johnson stands down - hands reins to Mugabe
Posted 4 Jun 08 15:27
Message
Nice quick off the mark tale!

5* STD

~IS~

 
From General Discussion / It's funny coz it's true
Posted 4 Jun 08 15:15
Message
What do you want a towel for?

Are you going to one of Max Moseley's nazi orgies or a toga party?


~IS~

 
43 Pages - «« « 20 21 [22] 23 24 » »»
Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

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