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From General Discussion / Clunky shoes
Posted 17 Jun 08 13:20
Message

Quote: Mark Lowton

Another thing that's pisssing me off is my inability to count!

Stupid brain


This is clearly shown in the 20 people who are the top 15 writers!

Keep it like that Mark otherwise I would never make an appearance on there!

~IS~

 
From News Discussion / Irish Referendum Rigged Claim
Posted 17 Jun 08 13:13
Message
Although this story is basically crap, the intention was to show how low politicians will stoop to lie and cheat to get the answer they want and not necessarily what we want.

Democracy at its best?


~IS~

 
From News Discussion / Smurfs to make Blue Movie
Posted 17 Jun 08 10:56
Message

Quote: Tragic Rabbit

Hilarious header, worth 5* on its own, no need to read the story. But it was funny, too.




5*

TR


Thanks TR. That came straight off the BBC news website - is it plagiarism?

I just couldn't resist the title. Story's all original though.

Glad you like the story!

I been feeling a bit 'blue' lately


~IS~

 
From News Discussion / Anglo-Australian Tunnel completed!
Posted 17 Jun 08 09:21
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Utterly brilliant! FQ.

Your scientific mind is incredible - a bit like mine.

What's the state of 'OUR' bank account.

You should go on 'Dragons Den' for that one - perhaps invent crash helmets for 'Roos.

~IS~

 
From News Discussion / NYC Street sweeper truck sucks up and kills dog!
Posted 16 Jun 08 22:42
Message

Quote: BuckwheatsButt

It brought a tear to my eyes...........


Been eating raw onions again Buck?

~IS~

 
From News Discussion / Rift in Space-Time Continuum brings Tesco to standstill
Posted 16 Jun 08 16:08
Message

Quote: Fenton Queue

It's strange that you should mention that...
Because when I opened the window, I suddenly realised that they weren't carrying stun grenades after all. They were in fact each holding an over-ripe pineapple. It was immediately obvious that they'd mistaken my apartment for the one next-door, where Gordon Ramsay was holding his celebrity farewell cook-in programme, broadcast live on national TV. And they'd clearly taken the producer at his word when he'd invited them to 'drop in'. Oddly enough, none of them were smokers, though they did thank me profusely for pointing out their error of navigation, and promptly swung out of sight to rendezvous with my neighbour, Mr. E.M. Bassy.


Than Evans for small mercies!!!

It's such a good job it was Ramsay's producer whose word they took and not Gordon himself.

Ramsay's word would have been 'FQ' then you woul've been dead meat!

Pineapple anyone?

~IS~

 
From News Discussion / Rift in Space-Time Continuum brings Tesco to standstill
Posted 16 Jun 08 15:32
Message

Quote: Fenton Queue

No no, my good man. My Bristols are thankfully scar-free.

I was just in the process of explaining that I do not in fact reside in Bristol, when I spotted four men in black balaclavers swinging on ropes outside the window, and clearly preparing to lob stun grenades into my office. (I hate it when that happens, don't you?)

So regretfully you see, I was called away from my keyboard to point out their mistake and direct them to the embassy next door instead.
Sorry about the misunderstanding.


Forgive me for asking...but...

Do you smoke? (Cigarettes that is)

I once lived in a box of fags - B & Hs on a shelf in Tesco's and had the same problem as you. Some men in balaclavas were swinging on ropes outside the window, and clearly preparing to lob stun grenades onto my shelf (So much for shelf life!) until, like you, I directed them to the embassy next door!

Are you sure you're not me? We lead dramatically similar lives.

~IS~

 
From News Discussion / Rift in Space-Time Continuum brings Tesco to standstill
Posted 16 Jun 08 14:37
Message

Quote: Fenton Queue

I had a sneaking suspicion you might claim NOT to be me. That's why I lied about the scar on my shoulder.

Oh.... and Bristol...



Oh so you've got a scar on your Bristols??

~IS~

 
From General Discussion / OMFG! Bush chopper just flew over my house!
Posted 16 Jun 08 14:28
Message

Quote: queen mudder

Post-breakfast Blue Ice has smashed all the hybrid hydrangeas and the Long Herbaceous Border!

There should be a law against this kinda stuff...


Here's a good title for a story for you qm:

Bushturd discovered among qms bushes[rhodedendron ass mess]

love

~IS~

 
From News Discussion / Smurfs to make Blue Movie
Posted 16 Jun 08 13:10
Message
Do Smurfs vote Conservative?

 
From News Discussion / Rift in Space-Time Continuum brings Tesco to standstill
Posted 16 Jun 08 12:50
Message
Have you seen his profile?

I'm flabbergasted!

He is the same age as me
He has got the same bank account as me
He has the same pin code as me
He is he same height as me

He even has the same sense of humour as me!

However, he is NOT me.


I would not live in Bristol!!

Obviousy a rail traveller!!!


~IS~

 
From General Discussion / Gay Chubby Dating
Posted 15 Jun 08 21:21
Message

Quote: Monkey Woods

I just posted a story, and noticed that there was an advert down the right hand side for "Gay Chubby Dating - Join 100% free" and a picture of one of the writers on here.

What's this all about? Do the admin know about this? I know it's now 1940 and everything, but this is totally unacceptable.



Which one?

BTW It's not me. People kick sand in me face on the beach when I take the wife to the beach.


~IS

 
From News Discussion / Wayne Rooney Marries Pig
Posted 15 Jun 08 16:24
Message

Quote: Monkey Woods

I want it known that I am not Jesus Budda, but that Jesus Budda is, in fact, Jenny Bigtits.

The initials are a giveaway, and I'm surprised that nobody realised before now.


He also goes under the name of Jimbo Bunn... not alot of people know that!

~IS~

 
From General Discussion / Wii Fit underwear girlfriend spoofed online
Posted 15 Jun 08 16:01
Message

Quote: Jesus Budda

What exactly have these 27 European countries got in common anyway?

Monkey Woods


EUROVISION SONG CONTEST?

Monkey' Uncle

 
From General Discussion / Wii Fit underwear girlfriend spoofed online
Posted 15 Jun 08 15:26
Message

Quote: Jesus Budda


Quote: Fergus McCarthy


Gelignite blows up.

Cellulite shows up,.

Vegemite is nice.


Just thought I'd mention it


Fergus


Good for you. And for everyone else. Who says you learn nothing from theSpoof?
That would be me, actually.


JB


Semtex blows up

Tampax goes up

Petrol goes up

and Marmite is horrible!

f**k Wikipedia, this was brought to you by In Seine's Big Book of Knowledge [amazon.com £4.99]

(With no added ghostriters this time!)

~IS~

 
From General Discussion / Wii Fit underwear girlfriend spoofed online
Posted 15 Jun 08 15:10
Message

Quote: Jimbo Gunn

CSE biology should have tought you there aint no bone in a boner.




Yes, BUT CSE English Lang. says there is.. so one of 'ems lying!

~IS~

 
From General Discussion / Wii Fit underwear girlfriend spoofed online
Posted 15 Jun 08 13:40
Message
How do you get that thong on?

Is it spray on?

~IS~

 
From News Discussion / Wayne Rooney Marries Pig
Posted 14 Jun 08 22:46
Message

Quote: queen mudder

Good avatar J-G....

Chollah Man!


What's that got to do with Monkey Woods story?

Do you have a garden fence?

~IS~

 
From General Discussion / Wii Fit underwear girlfriend spoofed online
Posted 14 Jun 08 22:40
Message
qm and you and Nick Fun of course!

~IS~

 
From General Discussion / Wii Fit underwear girlfriend spoofed online
Posted 14 Jun 08 22:26
Message

Quote: Jesus Budda


Quote: Mr E. Mann


Quote: Jimbo Gunn

I would be interested in neither whilst I've got QMs avatar on my screen...


Mutton dressed as fox.

Why is the screen width so wide?


There's a fat f**k in the forums, that's why.


JB


There's more than one.

Have you looked in the mirror lately?

Obese, supersize or what?

JB probably comes with fries

~IS~

 
From News Discussion / Wayne Rooney Marries Pig
Posted 14 Jun 08 22:17
Message

Quote: Jimbo Gunn


Quote: Monkey Woods

Hadn't thought of the honeymoon angle. I'll get on it.


Aviation Bacon heads for the Bahamas?


Rooney has 'Danish' on Honeymoon?

~IS~

 
From News Discussion / Wayne Rooney Marries Pig
Posted 14 Jun 08 21:48
Message

Quote: Jimbo Gunn


Quote: Monkey Woods

Hey, you lot! You're supposed to be discussing the story, not gossiping over the garden fence.


Did anyone see the France/Holland game last night?


No, I was in Portofina at a wedding

~IS~

 
From News Discussion / Wayne Rooney Marries Pig
Posted 14 Jun 08 21:33
Message
Monkey,
The composition of the story is crap and also insulting to pigs.

Satisfied?

I live in a block of flats and do not have a garden and certainly not a fence.

Keep your filthy estate agent thoughts to yourself.

~IS~

 
From News Discussion / Wayne Rooney Marries Pig
Posted 14 Jun 08 13:22
Message

Quote: Fergus McCarthy

I love your your Maggie Carter signature QM.

Ferg


Don't you mean the Magna Carta?



The one signed King John!

~IS~

 
From General Discussion / Anyone know Jack Schitt?
Posted 13 Jun 08 14:39
Message
Very strange, I went to see Dr Stool as well;

Stool: "Have you moved your Bowels?"

IS: "No, they're still in the same place as they always are!"

Stool: "Well have you passed water today?"

IS: "Yes, I drove over the Severn Bridge!"

Stool: "f**k off!"

IS: "OK!"

~IS~

 
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