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From General Discussion / Pandas
Posted 16 Oct 15 02:27
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A guy was sitting at a bar conversing with the bartender. In walks a Panda, he orders bamboo. He chews up the bamboo then pulls out a gun and shoots a cowboy sitting at a table for no apparent reason, then walks out the door.

The guy at the bar asks the bartender, "why did he shoot that guy?"

The bartender says, "He always does that. Everyone knows a panda eats, shoots and leaves."


 
From General Discussion / Rex Harrison
Posted 13 Oct 15 17:48
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T-Rex!

 
From General Discussion / Rex Harrison
Posted 10 Oct 15 05:19
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"Why can't a woman, be more like a man?"

 
From General Discussion / ISIS
Posted 29 Sep 15 11:04
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I'm willing to transport fire ants to Iowa...but they would probably refuse to enter Des Moine, even ants have their standards during the election season.

 
From General Discussion / ISIS
Posted 26 Sep 15 17:05
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He's welcome provided he doesn't mind being tied to a mound of fire ants and killer bees on a daily basis..

 
From General Discussion / ISIS
Posted 24 Sep 15 01:25
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Yes and I dare say they'll vote the same if Assad is retained. So all those little critters need to be removed. Most of them have foreign passports anyway.

 
From General Discussion / Greece Bailout
Posted 24 Sep 15 01:22
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I plum forgot about Greek Yogurt, which in America is nearly the biggest culture we have...

 
From General Discussion / Greece Bailout
Posted 20 Sep 15 22:57
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All they need is a patent on Greek Salads. I suggested this in an article before, but no action!

 
From General Discussion / Presidential Debate
Posted 17 Sep 15 20:12
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Rubio might look cute in drag. Trump would be downright scary...

 
From General Discussion / Minneapolis Dentist
Posted 15 Sep 15 00:51
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He could give them all gps fillings, then we could track them down and...and...and threaten to take a way the the chemical weapons from Assad! That'll teach em! On second thought just send him after all of our current world leaders.

 
From General Discussion / What happened to queen mudder and Monkey Woods?
Posted 9 Sep 15 01:14
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Don't forget to feed the ruddy gerbils...

 
From General Discussion / Can cricket be explained to Americans?
Posted 9 Sep 15 01:11
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If Cricket is Sissy then what does that make Baseball? What other sport is so boring you get up mid-way and sing, Take Me Out To the Ball Game? Beer, Brats and Hotdogs are needed to watch the pitcher scratch, yawn, and touch their privates in a dozen different ways before throwing a pitch that breaks the bat,which flys and kills a 2 year old in the first row of seats down the first baseline. OH that's why its exciting! Close second to paint peeling if you ask me. Love to play, hate to watch...

 
From General Discussion / Can cricket be explained to Americans?
Posted 5 Sep 15 00:49
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I've never seen a cricket bat in a Gangster movie, Europeon or Amerikcon


Quote: victor nicholas

Do UK gangsters use cricket bats to break heads.

Only those on the witness protection plan need reply.


 
From General Discussion / Can cricket be explained to Americans?
Posted 4 Sep 15 19:57
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Okay you got me curious now: Baseball Bats


 
From General Discussion / Can cricket be explained to Americans?
Posted 4 Sep 15 19:37
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Well you've heard the term "blind as a bat" or " like a bat out of hell"? Wells those phrases have absolutely nothing to do with why the American bat is round. Just thought I'd eliminate those for you.

 
From General Discussion / Can cricket be explained to Americans?
Posted 1 Sep 15 22:56
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Aye chief, but I don't claim her when John Boehner or Donald Trump speak. We actually played cricket on our farm in Illinois once. Had some Brits to direct us of course, but that's okay the war has been over for well over 200 years now



Quote: victor nicholas

I believe you are American Jean?


Quote: Jean Le Fete

I like chocolate covered crickets...



 
From General Discussion / Can cricket be explained to Americans?
Posted 29 Aug 15 12:27
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I like chocolate covered crickets...

 
From General Discussion / What happened to queen mudder and Monkey Woods?
Posted 29 Aug 15 12:25
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Hey MW good to see you avoided the bomb blast there in Bangkok! Head to Koh Pee Pee khun Monkey!!

 
From General Discussion / What happened to queen mudder and Monkey Woods?
Posted 29 Aug 15 01:03
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Maybe QM is on vacation

 
From General Discussion / Home for Writers etc
Posted 11 Aug 15 02:14
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I like to wear threads

 
From General Discussion / Unlikely couples
Posted 3 Aug 15 23:11
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Brilliant, that could solve the problem of having too many to fit in one debate!! Not to mention they're all ugly bastards.




Quote: victor nicholas

Instead of a debate they could have a shoot out, that seems like it would be within the constitution.


Quote: Ellie James

Rick Perry and Hulk Hogan....hmmm....You forget Rick Perry has a permit to carry a fire arm. He jogs with his gun in order to shoot the coyotes in the hill country where he jogs.

So, he wouldn't need Hulk Hogan to protect him.



 
From General Discussion / Unlikely couples
Posted 2 Aug 15 16:06
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Of course a flying fuck at a rolling Katie would make ESPN 69

 
From General Discussion / Unlikely couples
Posted 2 Aug 15 16:04
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Yes but think, people could then tell him to take a "flying fuck at a rolling donut!"

 
From General Discussion / Unlikely couples
Posted 2 Aug 15 01:52
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Yes or a wardrobe malfunction. I think she might haul off and smack him one if she didn't like what he said.

 
From General Discussion / Unlikely couples
Posted 1 Aug 15 17:31
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Speaking of unlikely couples who will different Democrat and Republican candidates choose for their running mates?:

Donald Trump and Sarah Palin - I figure she's his kind of gal, shoots from the hips, crass, stupid in a smart red-neck ignorant kind of way. Perfect match, would love to see them doing campaign stops together.

Rick Perry and Hulk Hogan - not sure why, but Hogan could threaten to beat the crap out of anyone making fun of Perry's foot in mouth disease...

Jeb Bush and Dan Quayle - Jeb needs someone he can look smarter than and I think you have to dig back a ways to really find one that worked for his Daddy.......

 
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