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From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 23 Nov 15 11:47
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Yarmouth, a regular monotony of unending, tedious holidays.

 
From General Discussion / Pandas
Posted 19 Oct 15 07:50
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I used to quite like shopping at C&A, but then that became extinct, and it wouldn't surprise me if P&A went the same way as well.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 19 Oct 15 07:47
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Yearly: essentially 'annually'. Remember Leap Years?

 
From General Discussion / ISIS
Posted 28 Sep 15 05:29
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It's come to something when you guys are on here discussing the Iowa Student Information System!



 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 8 Sep 15 08:57
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Daily, although in Lapland, yearly.

 
From General Discussion / Can cricket be explained to Americans?
Posted 8 Sep 15 08:54
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Quote: Bill Cosby

Americans view cricket as a sissy game, they prefer violent and devious contact sports like football, boxing, and basketball a game of stealing the ball from the opponents hands.




You know better than I, Bill, but it seems so unlikely.

Surely, they remember this:

http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/cricket/30219440

And this wasn't the first, by any means.

I, myslef, was hit in the eye socket by a cricket ball when I was but nine years old. Here's what happened:

We were 'learning' P.E. at Wold Junior High School, and Mr Norton, the teacher, told Tony Marsh, the wicketkeeper, to get his pads on. For some reason, Tony asked me to help him buckle the pads, instead of doing them himself. I thought nowt of it, and knelt down behind him. He was at the wicket. This is important.

Meanwhile, Phil Trotter, a bowler with some pace, began his run-up, unaware that I was still doing up the straps to Tony's pads. Do you know what happened next?

Phil sends down a rather fast delivery, and the batsman (identity unknown to me at this juncture) misses outside the off stump. All Tony has to do is to catch the ball, but it is a bit of a low delivery having shot through off a less-than-perfect wicket. Instead, he shuffles aside, presumably forgetting he is wearing the perfect protection to avoid injury, but THAT I AM NOT.

I decided to put an end to this nonsense by stopping the progress of the seamed leather-encased ball with my left eye. There were screams.

Two years later, whilst batting during lunchtime practice, Trevor Pitts bowled one down at me that reared up off the pitch and caught me smack in the middle of my forehead. There were stars.

I loved cricket. It's not sissy, no matter what the Americans think.

Love,

Moys

xxx

 
From General Discussion / What happened to queen mudder and Monkey Woods?
Posted 8 Sep 15 08:36
Message
I'm about done with things here. Might head farther East.

Can't really elaborate. Authorities are watching everything.

Eagle has landed. Blah blah blah.

Love,

Moys

xxx

 
From General Discussion / You surpers
Posted 8 Sep 15 08:34
Message
I was perusing the front page today, when I saw Jean's piece about Donald Trump saying "I hate all people equally". I thought to myself 'I remember saying that to Simon Cockle, or Cockend, or Cocksucker, or whatever his name was, in reply to his accusation that I was a racist some years ago on here'.

I don't remember having heard this before that, and had thought that, when I'd dreamt this phrase up, it had been rather clever on my part, rather pithy, if you know what I mean. I decided to Google the phrase.

Imagine my horror when I saw the vast array of images on Google using 'my' phrase - also on racism-related themes.

Is it possible the phrase wasn't created by me? Is there a way of establishing 'ownership' of the phrase, and, if so, and it is found that I was the creator, can I bring legal action against these usurpers?

Please reply with all speed. I'm waiting by the keyboard.

Love,

Moys

xxx

 
From General Discussion / What happened to queen mudder and Monkey Woods?
Posted 29 Aug 15 07:55
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I wish I were.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 21 Aug 15 09:56
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Typed your paperwork, edited daily.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 18 Jul 15 01:23
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"Beast", exactly as Skoob typed.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 14 Jul 15 08:41
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Traits reasonably attributed, it's true, Skoob!

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 4 Jul 15 01:15
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Could you change that to Boris Becker, Dunc?




Dumplings: usually meat, potatoes; lovely in nice gravy, scumbag.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 25 Jun 15 05:35
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Stolen, taken or lent; essentially 'nobbled'.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 13 Jun 15 06:53
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Sherwood has essential role weaning owner off drugs.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 16 May 15 07:44
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Thickheads have incredible craniums; knobheads haven't, except as dummy shitheads.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 12 May 15 05:11
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Apocalypse: period of cataclysmic alteration, like your parent's sexual enlightenment.


Apocalypse; period of catastrophe, a light year producing sensational ending.



Choose one.

 
From News Discussion / Man Walking Dog In Woods Doesn't Find Murder Victim
Posted 12 May 15 01:45
Message
I like that word, 'fond'.

I am going to use it in a story, and maybe a poem as well.

Thinks: fond, pond, blond, James Bond... yes, there's definite potential here.


Yours,

Sad Bastard

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 6 May 15 05:42
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Gothic: obsolete tongue, heard in Crimea.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 2 May 15 01:18
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Egregious: gross, really extraordinary grossness. I often use 'shocking'.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 30 Apr 15 01:36
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Eh? Humberside?

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 29 Apr 15 05:17
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Divinity, I venture, invented not in Tadcaster, Yorkshire.



 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 28 Apr 15 04:06
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Graveyard: residences are very eerie, yes, and residents dead!

 
From General Discussion / Evidence that Mark doesn't wear a towel on his head
Posted 24 Apr 15 01:45
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From General Discussion / Evidence that Mark doesn't wear a towel on his head
Posted 23 Apr 15 05:47
Message
I'm sorry that Ellie locked that other thread, dave, because I wanted to offer evidence to show that I think Mark is not an Islamist, a Muslimist or anything else similar.

There's this:

http://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/world/27865/hajj-gets-under-way-amidst-calls-for-no-crushing

and others I will dig out for you.

Here's another:

http://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/world/15253/year-of-the-pig-sets-off-increased-muslim-outrage

 
200 Pages - « 1 2 [3] 4 5 » »»
Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

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