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From News Discussion / David Tennant Mobbed At Stratford Hamlet
Posted 27 Jul 08 18:59
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Are you saying that, because Tragic Rabbit likes Christopher Eccleston, she is a woman? (Tara Rabbit?)



 
From General Discussion / I just saw a UFO!
Posted 27 Jul 08 15:22
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Why was everything in bold?

I didn't notice my cheek twitching, so your spell has been broken.

 
From General Discussion / I just saw a UFO!
Posted 27 Jul 08 14:59
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Quote: Jesus Budda[/b

Need a coaster for that mug?




That was a little unsettling, I have to admit!

 
From General Discussion / I just saw a UFO!
Posted 27 Jul 08 14:44
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Officer Insanity! Get back to y' desk an' fill that other report out! The one I've been asking y' to fill out!

Is this a police station or an elementary school?!?!

 
From General Discussion / I just saw a UFO!
Posted 27 Jul 08 14:34
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Are you nuts?!?! Get back to y' desk now, soldier, or I'll HAVE Y' BADGE, y' hear me?!?!?!

 
From General Discussion / I just saw a UFO!
Posted 27 Jul 08 14:28
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Yes, maybe is you stopped giving him pain medication and dressing his wounds to stoop the excessive flow etc etc

Budda! Budda! BUDDA! BUDDA! Can you hear me in there?!?! Budda, ya sick fff..aw, what's the use? Officer Crippledick, get the fruitin' dogs in there. I'm tired o' this bullshi't!

Flush him out, boys!

 
From News Discussion / David Tennant Mobbed At Stratford Hamlet
Posted 26 Jul 08 19:31
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You would say that, you Northern git.

 
From News Discussion / Qantas plane damage culprit found
Posted 26 Jul 08 17:13
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Another good one. Better than mine. And absolutely true.

5 stars.

 
From General Discussion / I just saw a UFO!
Posted 26 Jul 08 16:39
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Tell it to the judge, Budda, you sick fcuk! What happened to you? What happened to the oath you took when you joined the force? What happened to the NickFun/Larry/Tennis Court thing we were all working on?

Look, Budda...Buddsy-Wuddsy, if you'd prefer...come on now...put the kettle down, you don't wanna...oh fcuk, just a minute. It's the wife..

Yes, dear, yeah. Yeah, I'm at work..no, I won't, yeah I've got my gun, alright, dear, yes, around 10 maybe 10.30, OK, dear, yeah, yeah, love you too. OK. Bye

Fcuk that bitch! You still there Budda? BUDDA! BUDDA!

 
From General Discussion / I just saw a UFO!
Posted 26 Jul 08 11:52
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Didn't you read the report from Eta, Buck you schmuck?!?! She said the kettle was on top of the body! Jeeeeeeeeeeezus fruitin' Christ on a bike!

Get over here, Officer! I need my dinner!

By the way. Budda's one of ours! Bring him in alive. I've got someone in mind to deal with him.

 
From News Discussion / David Tennant Mobbed At Stratford Hamlet
Posted 26 Jul 08 11:27
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Got to admit, I like Tennant. He's the best Doctor Who ever, in my opinion. I haven't been a fan of the show for years up until Tennant came along. That Eccleston was a gritty, Northern git, who wasn't right, somehow. Tennant is a natural.

This story relates to the ban on signing autographs at Stratford. What a joke.

 
From News Discussion / Man allowed to keep lottery ticket he found in street
Posted 26 Jul 08 11:22
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Another good 'un! This Streetwalker fellow reminded me of Albert Twaddle, the guy who found that missing al-Qaeda dossier on the train and went to Afghansitan to hand it back to the Taliban.

Rusholme - excellent!

5 stars, no, 6 - no, on second thoughts, just the 5

 
From News Discussion / Football Superstar Cristiano Ronaldo Now Black After Sunbathing Too Long
Posted 26 Jul 08 11:16
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Got to hand it to you, Garrett. This is a good story.

A word of warning though: Not everybody will agree with this.

5 stars.

 
From General Discussion / I just saw a UFO!
Posted 26 Jul 08 11:12
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It's Budda! He's lost it.

Eta, gedaroundtoBudda's now! Before he heads for Shrewsbury! Shi't! I knew this would happen!

Put out an APB, a CIA, an FBI and a BBC for Budda, and an ICI, an ITV, a VCR and a DVD for Fun. Don't worry about Larry. I'll take care of that bastard myself!!

Over and out

 
From News Discussion / After death of Deborah Jean Palfrey, 98% of women in America to be imprisoned.
Posted 26 Jul 08 07:50
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Good story, Nick.

5 out of 5 from 9 ratings, eh? That's not too bad is it?!

 
From General Discussion / I just saw a UFO!
Posted 26 Jul 08 00:54
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So long as the paperwork's clean, you can do whatever y' like out there!

Jesus Christ! What kind of a police force am I runnin' down here?!?!

 
From General Discussion / I just saw a UFO!
Posted 26 Jul 08 00:45
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You took yer time, McCarthy! I've got that Larry guy under surveillance downtown. He's in a gay bar, talking to a big black guy, probably about getting his cackpipe filled. That's what them fags do! Look, McCarthy, look lively an' get down to Fun's place. Take armed back-up in case he puts up any resistance. By the looks of his mugshot, I doubt it, but y' can never be too careful.

Over

 
From General Discussion / I just saw a UFO!
Posted 26 Jul 08 00:14
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Thanks for that, Officer Butt. If you've any more anecdotal evidence against this creep, let the bureau have it. We're involved in a caper here!

Over

 
From General Discussion / I just saw a UFO!
Posted 25 Jul 08 23:58
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OK, never mind, we'll get rid of that fat bastard over the weekend somehow. Get back to the station. I'm expecting Fun here real soon. I've told him there's a tennis court behind the stationhouse! Klutz!

He'll be here in a few minutes, then we'll nab him and remove his underpants. The rest is up to Forensics!

 
From General Discussion / I just saw a UFO!
Posted 25 Jul 08 21:49
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Officer Duncan! Where the fruit are you, boy?! I've been waiting an hour for you to respond! I've had enough time to cook an' eat my fruitin tea, - fish fingers, potatoes, broccoli an' cauliflower florets - an' you've still not checked in! Jeeeeezus Christ!!!

Look, get down Larry's place an' bring that asshole in! Take Budda with ya. Pick him up at his place, you know, that underground lair covered in weeds an' dog shi't. Pick him up, an' geddover to Larry's place quick. On the way, get the car to 60 an' shove Budda out - the greasy fat fcuk!

Then get Larry down here! He's got some explaining to do!

I'll deal with Fun!

Over an' out!

 
From General Discussion / I just saw a UFO!
Posted 25 Jul 08 20:24
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Officer Duncan! Would you get the Hell over to Nick's place now! He's not answering his phone, he might be headed out of town. I don't care what you've got to do to get him, but bring that guy in.

Forget that tosser 'Larry'. Fun's our man.

 
From General Discussion / I just saw a UFO!
Posted 25 Jul 08 18:10
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Excuse me, ma'am. Could you wait until I've finished interviewing Mr Fun, please?

 
From General Discussion / I just saw a UFO!
Posted 25 Jul 08 18:09
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This Larry needs looking at. How well do you know him, Nick? He seems like a fruitcake, if you ask me, and even if you aren't asking me, I'm still telling you he sounds like a bit of a fruitcake to me.

I mean, you, well, we all know you. We know what you're like. "Tennis court pops up from 1920s and then disppears" - Nick doesn't bother, just gets on with things. He's a bit crazy. We know this.

Larry, though. Hmmm...there's something about this guy I don't like. Send me his details, Nick. I'll get somebody to run a check on him. 'Pay him a visit', so to speak. I know he's your friend, but it's for the best.

Don't worry. You've got plenty more friends.

 
From General Discussion / I just saw a UFO!
Posted 25 Jul 08 11:27
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Foot in gob.

 
From News Discussion / Gay Snooker Player Refuses 'Easy Brown' For 'Loose Pink'
Posted 25 Jul 08 08:39
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I feel that you should answer this question.

 
224 Pages - «« « 208 209 [210] 211 212 » »»
Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

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