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From News Discussion / Hull Set To Be Renamed 'Hell' As Part Of Tourism Drive
Posted 9 Jan 17 02:10
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I am surprised that your hasty exit from the City of Culture brought you to the Yorkshire Moors, they being some distance away.

Could it be that you 'docked' in Leeds, or Bradford, perhaps?

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 6 Jan 17 05:48
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Spoofbiz: perversion of 'our funny business'; its zenith.






Quite pleased with that.

 
From News Discussion / Hull Set To Be Renamed 'Hell' As Part Of Tourism Drive
Posted 6 Jan 17 02:51
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I know, I know, Vic, but I'm too busy scratching me knackers.

 
From News Discussion / Hull Set To Be Renamed 'Hell' As Part Of Tourism Drive
Posted 5 Jan 17 14:11
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Ah! Right, I'm glad you asked that! Well, where to start? Er, I suppose one would have to begin with ... er ... well, I think I should mention the er ... Hmmm, wait a minute, it's not so easy to think when you put me under intense pressure like that. Er, there's the various museums: Town Docks, Whaling, Transport, William Wilberforce House, Ferens Art Gallery, Amy Johnson statue, Philip Larkin statue, the Old Town (with cobbled streets), Queens Gardens, the magnificent Hull New Theatre and the better-known and world-renowned Hull Truck Theatre, and various shows, exhibitions and events being staged throughout 2017. Look at the website, y'lazy bastard.

From February, there's a COUM installation somewhere. You'll like this if you're a Throbbing Gristle enthusiast.

And, of course, who isn't.


 
From News Discussion / Hull Set To Be Renamed 'Hell' As Part Of Tourism Drive
Posted 5 Jan 17 02:15
Message
I have no information on this topic (laughs nervously).


On a related topic, The Sun 'newspaper' printed a scathing article on Hull on January 1st about which the residents of that great city are not entirely pleased. The report detailed how, on New Year's Eve, police were called to 'an incident' every 47 seconds (it must have been a quiet night, or raining). The Sun report attempted to portray Hull in the worst light possible, but its flairless writer rather 'watered down' the effect of the piece, with the news that, horror of horrors, "a drunk man in Bristol fell over at a bus stop", whilst "a man in Leeds was seen urinating up a wall".

And where else, you may ask, should one urinate during a night of debauchery on New Year' s Eve?

Those Southern jessies!



 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 5 Jan 17 01:54
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Everyone, verily everyone, respects your overwhelmingly nice efforts.

 
From News Discussion / Hull Set To Be Renamed 'Hell' As Part Of Tourism Drive
Posted 4 Jan 17 12:44
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Now come on, Vic, it is the company's name...

 
From News Discussion / Hull Set To Be Renamed 'Hell' As Part Of Tourism Drive
Posted 4 Jan 17 02:09
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My son, who still lives in Thailand, posted a picture on Facebook that he took in Bangkok of the signage outside a Tesco Lotus. The sign said

TESCO Lotns


Well, it was almost right.

Dullards.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 3 Jan 17 11:27
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Yacht: a completely high-society trinket.

 
From News Discussion / Hull Set To Be Renamed 'Hell' As Part Of Tourism Drive
Posted 3 Jan 17 11:24
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Not that I'm aware of, but there's Deportivo la Coruna (blue and white stripes) which is 'close'.

And then there's the similar-sounding Fortuna Dusseldorf, whose 'away' colours are red and white stripes.

Contrast these with the Brazilian team Sport Club Corinthians Paulista whose 'away' kit is black shirts with white hoops.



Hope this isn't boring you.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 3 Jan 17 01:28
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Stupidity that usually punctures inflatable dinghies in the yacht.

 
From News Discussion / Hull Set To Be Renamed 'Hell' As Part Of Tourism Drive
Posted 3 Jan 17 01:23
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Do you mean 'stripe' or 'hoop', Vic?

Stripes, as I'm given to understand them, are vertical entities, running North-South, as it were; hoops are horizontal, like the blue hoops on a QPR shirt.

Newcastle United play in shirts with black and white stripes.


Hope this irreverency helped.

 
From News Discussion / Americant Airlines doesn't want you in the cabin
Posted 2 Jan 17 03:32
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And, by the way, when I said 'a George Michael', I wasn't referring to that unsavoury business in the public bogs with that copper.


Mark would never do that.

 
From News Discussion / Americant Airlines doesn't want you in the cabin
Posted 2 Jan 17 03:27
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One day, of course, he will 'do a George Michael', and TheSpoof.com will be left in limbo, if that isn't what has already happened.

What will we do at that point? Nobody will know, with any degree of certainty, what the problem with the unchanging pages is. Will we just keep posting?

I had to ask.

 
From General Discussion / Carrie Fisher
Posted 1 Jan 17 06:30
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Quote: victor nicholas

Monkey

I did see some pictures and cheeky graphics about this. What's the occasion for the makeover, was it your visit?






No, it wasn't, it was in preparation for the start of Hull 2017 UK City of Culture, which starts today, and lasts a whole year. Residents of the city, it's fair to say, are already "as sick as arseholes" over it, partly due to the bollards, and the constant reminder of money being wasted they represent.

I dreamt up a slogan, although I fear I'm already a bit late:

"Please visit Hull. We're desperate."



 
From General Discussion / Carrie Fisher
Posted 31 Dec 16 01:36
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As you may remember, I was in Hull during November. The Council has been 'busy' giving the city centre 'a lick of paint' to hide reality. The main shopping areas have been cordoned off with orange and white bollards for over a year. Many businesses, who can ill afford it, have lost a lot of custom. The seemingly never-ending project has prompted a quick-witted and creative designer to start producing and selling a rather nice line of T-shirts bearing the message: "Hull, City of Culture 2017" and underneath this: "what a load of bollards".

Sums it up perfectly.

 
From News Discussion / Prisoner at Oregon State Penitentiary helps local murderer escape
Posted 30 Dec 16 12:08
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Did anyone notice, by the way, the unfortunate name the author of this story possesses? The author's name is Dixie Normous, but, said quickly, it could, quite reasonably be made to sound like 'Dick's enormous'.

Oh, how I chuckled at that.

I wonder if Mr Normous is aware of this.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 30 Dec 16 02:47
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Everlastingness: very excruciating, really long and, sometimes, tediously insipid nothingness granted NOBODY, especially Satan's sinners.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 30 Dec 16 02:33
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Nonsense or not, some expect nice, serene everlastingness.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 30 Dec 16 02:30
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Heaven: essentially, a very effective nonsense.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 30 Dec 16 02:28
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Length extended; now gigantic, thank heaven!

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 30 Dec 16 02:09
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Eel extends length.

 
From News Discussion / Prisoner at Oregon State Penitentiary helps local murderer escape
Posted 30 Dec 16 02:07
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Indeed it would, indeed it would.

 
From General Discussion / Carrie Fisher
Posted 30 Dec 16 02:03
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Do you mean Keith Richards, Erskin?

Yes, I'm sure he'll make it, although, one day, of course, he won't. When will that day be? This could be a new game - Celebrity Death Predictor. What thinkest thou?

 
From General Discussion / Carrie Fisher
Posted 29 Dec 16 15:16
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Christ! Now the game's up for the mum as well, which, although some people might think tragic, it's sort of 'fitting', if you know what I mean.


At the same time as all of these untimely celebrity passings, I'm now reading about ex-boxer Ricky Hatton who, try as he might, just couldn't get himself to die.

Now there's a tragedy.

Sort of.



 
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