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From General Discussion / Trivets
Posted 22 Mar 16 03:14
Message
I absolutely refuse to join in with this silliness.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 22 Mar 16 03:13
Message
Yuletide: unusually lonely, endless, traumatic; initiating Decembrous ennui.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 20 Mar 16 01:14
Message
Woe, or ecstasy?











 
From General Discussion / Jimmy Savile Anagram Fun
Posted 17 Mar 16 07:28
Message
Mamy! Evil jis!



In poor taste, admittedly, but, with him, what else was there?

 
From General Discussion / Flightless Birds
Posted 17 Mar 16 07:23
Message
There isn't.

 
From General Discussion / Merry Christmas everyone!
Posted 21 Feb 16 05:52
Message
Merry Christmas.


Either the one just past or the one coming up.

 
From News Discussion / Eric Pickles Replaced by Dugong in Election Battle
Posted 9 Feb 16 05:19
Message
For some reason, I thought this Eric Pickles bloke had been stolen from an old story of mine, but it turns out I have become slightly confused. However, seeing as it took me some time to unearth the story in question, here it is:

http://www.thespoof.com/spoof-news/entertainment-gossip/15613/funny-man-dies-laughing



It's so 'funny'!

 
From General Discussion / Commercials
Posted 9 Feb 16 05:09
Message
This is the kind of intense, academic discussion that has been, for so long, missing from the site.

Welcome it back, and long may it prosper!

Tally ho!

 
From General Discussion / It's all in the name
Posted 9 Feb 16 05:07
Message
I read Justine recently, E.

A rather racey read for its time.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 9 Feb 16 05:05
Message
Nigh impossible, grating honey!

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 6 Feb 16 05:22
Message
Greenock, Renfrewshire. East end nice, over Clyde (Kilcreggan).



Queer? I should say so.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 31 Jan 16 10:11
Message
Dwindling: withering, 'increasing negatively', draining, leaking incrementally, not growing.



Hello, E.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 20 Dec 15 09:25
Message
Scratching causes rashes, and tickly coughs hatch increasingly nagging 'gravel-throats'.

 
From General Discussion / No need for Spam
Posted 3 Dec 15 14:32
Message
None whatsoever.

 
From General Discussion / What happened to queen mudder and Monkey Woods?
Posted 3 Dec 15 14:31
Message

Quote: Jean Le Fete

Don't forget to feed the ruddy gerbils...




Gerbils?

Ich kann das nicht verstehen.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 3 Dec 15 14:28
Message
Empathy: morbid, pathetic and tediously haughty yarbles.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 23 Nov 15 11:47
Message
Yarmouth, a regular monotony of unending, tedious holidays.

 
From General Discussion / Pandas
Posted 19 Oct 15 07:50
Message
I used to quite like shopping at C&A, but then that became extinct, and it wouldn't surprise me if P&A went the same way as well.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 19 Oct 15 07:47
Message
Yearly: essentially 'annually'. Remember Leap Years?

 
From General Discussion / ISIS
Posted 28 Sep 15 05:29
Message
It's come to something when you guys are on here discussing the Iowa Student Information System!



 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 8 Sep 15 08:57
Message
Daily, although in Lapland, yearly.

 
From General Discussion / Can cricket be explained to Americans?
Posted 8 Sep 15 08:54
Message

Quote: Bill Cosby

Americans view cricket as a sissy game, they prefer violent and devious contact sports like football, boxing, and basketball a game of stealing the ball from the opponents hands.




You know better than I, Bill, but it seems so unlikely.

Surely, they remember this:

http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/cricket/30219440

And this wasn't the first, by any means.

I, myslef, was hit in the eye socket by a cricket ball when I was but nine years old. Here's what happened:

We were 'learning' P.E. at Wold Junior High School, and Mr Norton, the teacher, told Tony Marsh, the wicketkeeper, to get his pads on. For some reason, Tony asked me to help him buckle the pads, instead of doing them himself. I thought nowt of it, and knelt down behind him. He was at the wicket. This is important.

Meanwhile, Phil Trotter, a bowler with some pace, began his run-up, unaware that I was still doing up the straps to Tony's pads. Do you know what happened next?

Phil sends down a rather fast delivery, and the batsman (identity unknown to me at this juncture) misses outside the off stump. All Tony has to do is to catch the ball, but it is a bit of a low delivery having shot through off a less-than-perfect wicket. Instead, he shuffles aside, presumably forgetting he is wearing the perfect protection to avoid injury, but THAT I AM NOT.

I decided to put an end to this nonsense by stopping the progress of the seamed leather-encased ball with my left eye. There were screams.

Two years later, whilst batting during lunchtime practice, Trevor Pitts bowled one down at me that reared up off the pitch and caught me smack in the middle of my forehead. There were stars.

I loved cricket. It's not sissy, no matter what the Americans think.

Love,

Moys

xxx

 
From General Discussion / What happened to queen mudder and Monkey Woods?
Posted 8 Sep 15 08:36
Message
I'm about done with things here. Might head farther East.

Can't really elaborate. Authorities are watching everything.

Eagle has landed. Blah blah blah.

Love,

Moys

xxx

 
From General Discussion / You surpers
Posted 8 Sep 15 08:34
Message
I was perusing the front page today, when I saw Jean's piece about Donald Trump saying "I hate all people equally". I thought to myself 'I remember saying that to Simon Cockle, or Cockend, or Cocksucker, or whatever his name was, in reply to his accusation that I was a racist some years ago on here'.

I don't remember having heard this before that, and had thought that, when I'd dreamt this phrase up, it had been rather clever on my part, rather pithy, if you know what I mean. I decided to Google the phrase.

Imagine my horror when I saw the vast array of images on Google using 'my' phrase - also on racism-related themes.

Is it possible the phrase wasn't created by me? Is there a way of establishing 'ownership' of the phrase, and, if so, and it is found that I was the creator, can I bring legal action against these usurpers?

Please reply with all speed. I'm waiting by the keyboard.

Love,

Moys

xxx

 
From General Discussion / What happened to queen mudder and Monkey Woods?
Posted 29 Aug 15 07:55
Message
I wish I were.

 
200 Pages - « 1 [2] 3 4 5 » »»
Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

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