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From General Discussion / Does anyone think Boy George's sentence was a bit too long?
Posted 20 Jan 09 22:55
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Quote: Phil Edgar's Bones

I thought we agreed on most things Monkey Man. I am hurt and bewildered by your revelations.



Which revelations are you hurt and bewildered by?

 
From News Discussion / The Pope says "Muslims are gay"
Posted 20 Jan 09 22:38
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Quote: Phil Edgar's Bones

You'd only lie and it will get worse and worse and worse.




No it won't. Examples please. Failure to provide any examples will mean there aren't any to provide.


Quote: Phil Edgar's Bones

Mr Woody Monkey Nuts I respect you too much.




Why?

 
From General Discussion / Does anyone think Boy George's sentence was a bit too long?
Posted 20 Jan 09 22:31
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Me too. It was pathetic.

For once, I agree with Phil about his appearance on the A-Team. Truly cringeworthy.

 
From General Discussion / Stupid Questions I Get Asked
Posted 20 Jan 09 13:21
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Quote: Phil Edgar's Bones

He decided he had come up with a cure for Aids, while drinking a can of larger.




Sorry to ask a stupid question but, what's a can of larger?


Quote: Phil Edgar's Bones

The thing about stupid people, they don't realise they are stupid and can incredibly angry if you challenge their ignorance. But they simply choose not to learn.




How appropriate.





 
From News Discussion / The Pope says "Muslims are gay"
Posted 19 Jan 09 23:23
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Quote: Phil Edgar's Bones

Mr Wood Monkey I shall not embarrass, but you are a little fibber. You slip these peccadilloes into conversations all the time, their quite exploitative, but they have a certain charm.


Examples, please.




 
From News Discussion / The Pope says "Muslims are gay"
Posted 19 Jan 09 23:01
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Quote: Phil Edgar's Bones


Monkey Wood lies and I know he lies, he doesn't think I can spot his lies, but I do. I don't care cos he's great.


It's Woods.

Show me one of my lies.

 
From News Discussion / The Pope says "Muslims are gay"
Posted 19 Jan 09 22:59
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Quote: Phil Edgar's Bones

Your son has half of your DNA Mr Monkey, that's why he has not heard of Iron Man, The Tin-Man or The Iron Man. I take it he is what the politically correct teachers call an average ability child for his height, hair colour and shoe size.





Try harder, Phil.

Much harder.

 
From News Discussion / The Pope says "Muslims are gay"
Posted 19 Jan 09 22:29
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Quote: Phil Edgar's Bones

Oh dear, Monkey Woods you are getting the book The Iron Man by Ted Hughes mixed up with the film Iron Man and the Iron Man Marvel comics.


No, I'm not. He hasn't heard of either.



Quote: Phil Edgar's Bones

I was read it out story-time and read it again when I was older.


Eh?



Quote: Phil Edgar's BonesYou must learn to do the lateral thinking thing Mr Monkey.


Or, "you must learn to think laterally", right?


Quote: Phil Edgar's Bones

One day you will need it, not now but one day the lateral thinking will come in very handy.


Yes, thank you. Now come on, Phil, let's have you to bed. It's way past your bedtime.

 
From News Discussion / The Pope says "Muslims are gay"
Posted 19 Jan 09 21:19
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Very poor. Very poor indeed. My son has never heard of that, so asking him would have been fruitless.

Which planet are you on, that you think 12-year-old kids are into The Iron Man?

(Tuts)

 
From General Discussion / Madonna & Child of the Lava Lamp
Posted 19 Jan 09 21:15
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If you ask me, it's the Second Coming of Jesus Christ that's afoot.


What other explanation is there?

 
From News Discussion / The Pope says "Muslims are gay"
Posted 19 Jan 09 20:51
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I've got it, Phil!

Q19: Are you Bernard Manning?

 
From General Discussion / THIS MAKES ME SICK!
Posted 19 Jan 09 20:49
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This story might provide you all with a funny set of scenarios to amuse yourselves with, and remember, I also see humorous sides of all sorts of stuff, so don't go telling me to 'lighten up' or whatever.

However, I think the story encapsulates all that is bad about British society today.

1) First, you've got the old lady living alone with her budgie. No family, defenceless, chatting to Joey when...

2) A couple of prize idiots break in to her home. They're good, these guys. No 'big job' for them; no prize scam that will net them a million so that they don't have to ever think about doing another one. Nah, let's rob the lady with the budgie.

Where was their invention, their creativity, their ambition?

3) Faced with a determined and obstinate old bag, the miscreants turn, not to her possessions - perhaps an old photo or plate they could threaten to smash, her TV, her glasses - but to her budgie.

What does this say about today's Welsh criminal?

I suppose the only thing they forgot, was to rape the old dear.

Wankers.



 
From General Discussion / 20 Questions
Posted 19 Jan 09 19:09
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Shit! I knew I'd made it too easy.

Your turn, Mr Budda.


Who cares what Phil was?

 
From News Discussion / The Pope says "Muslims are gay"
Posted 19 Jan 09 18:59
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What is his point, Mr Budda?

 
From General Discussion / 20 Questions
Posted 19 Jan 09 18:58
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Is the answer 'mineralised' or 'caramelised'?

By the way, I'd prefer it if you called me Mr Woods.

 
From General Discussion / 20 Questions
Posted 19 Jan 09 18:56
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OK. What - and this is a question specifically for Jesus Budda - am I?

 
From General Discussion / 20 Questions
Posted 19 Jan 09 18:52
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Game void then.

 
From General Discussion / THIS MAKES ME SICK!
Posted 19 Jan 09 18:51
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Quote: Jalapenoman

However, if the lady gives them her money and they go away, then this would never have made any news reports. She would have been just another old lady who got robbed. She would not have been able to pay her rent or utility bills and would have had to beg money from family or risk getting cut off or evicted.

As she held back on her money, they killed her bird and made her a news item. Now, no utility company or landlord would dare to cut her off or kick her out because she can't pay the bill. They would be seen as cruel and uncaring.

It may seem heartless, but getting her money taken and her pet killed was financially better for the woman than handing over the money.


Hmmm...yes, I see, Jman. I never looked at it in that way before.

But, I have to say, in the ten or fifteen seconds that she had in which to make the crucial decision, I'm sure this did not occur to her. I reckon she was virtually dripping piss from her knickers onto the lino, wondering whether or not she was going to alive to draw her pension next week.

The elderly are not normally noted for their forward planning abilities, and I'm sure that, being in a room with two fuckwits like these, would not have done anything to enhance these.

Regardless of our feelings of what she should have done, and the results of what she did, I wanted to talk about the wicked actions of those who broke into her home.

 
From General Discussion / 20 Questions
Posted 19 Jan 09 18:40
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Quote: Phil Edgar's Bones

This is worst than the kids who haven't done their homework on yahoo-answers.


Yes, I think I know what you mean, Phil.

And here's more from Phil:


"What someone knows the answer, but wont say it"

Doh! It's been a long day of 20 Questions, hasn't it, Phil?


 
From News Discussion / The Pope says "Muslims are gay"
Posted 19 Jan 09 17:27
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Quote: whatinthe world

This bigotism, that Spoof.com readily accepts, is an indication of the double standards that the site's managers possess.


Double standards?

How so?

I thought they had one standard: ANYTHING GOES.

 
From General Discussion / THIS MAKES ME SICK!
Posted 19 Jan 09 17:22
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Quote: carina-eta

ok, at the risk of being lambasted here...

So whats the difference between those poor battery farmed feckers and little Joey?


The difference is this:

I couldn't give a fuck about Joey. The necksnappers were using poor Joey against his mistress in a callous and calculated way. They were showing her the neck, and asking her to make a decision.

Now, you can argue that she should have handed over her cash, but she obviously didn't think that they were going to snap Joey in half. The mere idea would have been difficult for her to have contemplated.

Your chicken comparison doesn't work. If, however, the same tossers then turn up at Farmer Giles' Chicken Ranch asking for cash, and threatening the necks of chickens, then I'm going to get all angry again, this time about putting the farmer in a tricky position.

The birds don't matter to me; it's the cool, calculated and evil reckoning of the miscreants that I'm thinking about.



 
From General Discussion / 20 Questions
Posted 19 Jan 09 17:09
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Quote: Phil Edgar's Bones

Just repeat the answers that are close, they all have something in common.



They're all in English, right?

 
From News Discussion / The Pope says "Muslims are gay"
Posted 19 Jan 09 17:06
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Not me, Jman, although I tend to agree with the last paragraph.

Not funny, just plain speaking, and that's allowed.

I'm loathe to criticise anything these days, bearing in mind the kind of tripe I've put up on the pages, but, in respect of the story by MonkeyInTheBath, I'd have to say that most of it was gratuitous gigglery, with a lovely piece of observation at the end.

 
From General Discussion / THIS MAKES ME SICK!
Posted 19 Jan 09 13:25
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Quote: Madame Bitters


Not to bring up the obvious, but why didn't she give the guys the 100 pounds? If her bird was so precious to her why not forfeit the money to save her bird?




In fairness, she probably didn't believe anyone could be so wicked as to snap the neck of a budgie.

You live and learn, I suppose.


Hang them.

 
From General Discussion / 20 Questions
Posted 19 Jan 09 13:22
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Yes that's right. Fizzy.

The mineral amount of fizziness.

 
199 Pages - «« « 139 140 [141] 142 143 » »»
Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

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