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From General Discussion / Bottle-Nosed Wombats
Posted 18 Aug 16 08:19
Message
Strongly suspecting that the Bottle-nosed Wombat was something conjured from the imagination of Mr Quint, I decided to investigate. A good thing that I did, for there is absolutely no trace of the aforementioned strain on Google, the leading authority on wombats.

There is, however, rather a lot of interesting information on something known as the Northern Hairy-nosed Wombat. I thought, to give Mr Quint the benefit of the doubt, that we might assume that he had become confused with the different wombat models, but I do not, now, think this is a very good idea either.

You see, the Northern Hairy-nosed Wombat is a resident of the Epping Forest National Park in Queensland, which happens to be nowhere near Iceland, where Mr Quint informs us the venerable Mr Leitmotif invented the Bottle-noses. Nor has there ever been any record of Bottle-nosed Wombat habitation in Iceland.

I smell a leg-pulling, and refuse to be drawn into the prank.



 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 16 Aug 16 04:17
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Train: railways always in news.

 
From General Discussion / Hatriatism
Posted 16 Aug 16 04:15
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Quote: victor nicholas

The Panama Hat was actually invented in Ecuador.




Invented, Vic? Aren't things that are 'invented' usually processes or devices?

For example, James Hargreaves invented the Spinning Jenny in 1764.

Far be it for me to be pedantic.

Yours pedantically,

Moys

 
From General Discussion / Hatriatism
Posted 14 Aug 16 10:42
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Hull City 2 Leicester City 1

 
From General Discussion / Hatriatism
Posted 13 Aug 16 10:45
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This is all very well, but when are we going to get on to the part about hats?



 
From General Discussion / Olympic ceremony?
Posted 13 Aug 16 10:42
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Is it Olympics time again already?


Cripes, where did that four years go???!!!

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 13 Aug 16 10:39
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Eastern Asia, specifically Thailand, evokes rare nausea.



Sorry I've been so long about this, chaps. I've been away from the internet for a spell.

 
From General Discussion / I Wish To Complain
Posted 27 Jul 16 10:13
Message
Dear Sir,

I write to you today to complain about an issue I currently have with TheSpoof.com, with which I hope you will be able to assist.

On opening my Spoof account today, I noticed that I scored only 39 points on Monday 25th July, and, frankly, this is just not good enough. I realise that there are no guarantees about upper and lower levels with regard to points-scoring, but, I am sure you will agree, this is a very disappointing number of points.

To boot, my 'most-viewed' story that day, was the childish and wickedly unfunny Dwain Chambers To Ride Grand National Favourite, a throwaway tale of pure nothingness, scribbled by me in a moment of absolute boredom.

Now what do you say, Sir? Can you fix this 'glitch'? Am I to be shown more respect in the future with regard to my 'product', and the countless hours of hard work I have put in for this site in producing it?

I await your reply with anticipation.

Ever your servant (literally)

Moys Kenwood

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 13 Jul 16 11:06
Message
Lunacy - usually 'nuttiness' - affecting clever yuppy.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 29 Jun 16 08:14
Message
Tongue of nymphomaniac goes unusually elliptical.




Sorry about that, E. If you want me to change it, I will.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 23 Jun 16 06:01
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Tummy upset. Maybe my yoghurt.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 22 Jun 16 06:32
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Enemy never eats my yoghurt.







 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 17 Jun 16 04:23
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Stasis: typically 'a standstill in state'.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 15 Jun 16 09:49
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Erm, Erskin, doesn't 'You offer indulgences' imply that I left the word 'yoi'? Whatever.

Indulgences never disappoint, unless lurid gratification, excitement notwithstanding, creates existential status.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 14 May 16 09:41
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Lovely? Or very evil? Like you!

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 6 May 16 10:39
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Silent; is likely extremely nice, tranquil.

 
From General Discussion / My new supermarket
Posted 30 Apr 16 06:52
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I feel that the location of your shop could be better. Nearer Glasgow might be more suitable.

Otherwise, I think you'll do well.

What time do you start doing the price reductions of near-expiry-date goods in the evening?

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 29 Apr 16 07:48
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Suckage - usually 'cock kissing' - and general eroticism.







I apologise if I appear at all aroused - it's because I am.

 
From General Discussion / Books That We've Recently Read
Posted 28 Apr 16 04:14
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What did you think to The Dice Man, Skoobus?

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 27 Apr 16 07:52
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Sessions, especially sex sessions, involve oralism, normally 'suckage'.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 27 Apr 16 07:50
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Stockings to obscure chicks' knees incite numerous group sessions.

 
From News Discussion / Goth Caught In Smirk Fiasco
Posted 26 Apr 16 04:34
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Here's a lovely thing.

"...the group of 13 depressed souls were confronted with 30 make-up laden, screeching hyenas vying for the attention of a single male whore."


Chortle, chortle.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 25 Apr 16 05:18
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Socks, or cheap knee stockings?

 
From General Discussion / Books That We've Recently Read
Posted 25 Apr 16 05:15
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I feel that this thread is not being taken as seriously as it might.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 22 Apr 16 07:43
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Yours! Old Ursula really stinks!

 
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