All times are GMT

Forum Home / Forum posts by Monkey Woods


205 Pages - [1] 2 3 4 5 » »»
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 27 Feb 17 01:10
Message
Europe, under Russian oligarchy, pummels England.


A prophecy, no less.

 
From News Discussion / Woman Splits Ringpiece After Having Big Shit
Posted 27 Feb 17 01:06
Message
"I concur with the first response, and agree with the second." - Banquo (Macbeth, Shaksper)

 
From General Discussion / Blast from the Past
Posted 27 Feb 17 00:54
Message
Lovely. But my internet connection kept disconnecting. I remember it well - think I had the 12" version.

 
From General Discussion / 7 Years On
Posted 27 Feb 17 00:49
Message
Mr Erskin Quint,

I liked this story more than I can tell you. So I won't.

I must comment, however, on some of the lovely touches that the author uses. The 'Bellhousings', for example. A name to rank up there with the best of them! Tatty Mullett, Eric Giggles and Dana Huckshit were all individuals, but the BELLHOUSINGS - sheer genius!

And 'the post-Feminist milieu' didn't escape my attention, either! Beauty Full.

Things couldn't get any better, so they took the logical route - they got worse. Clarity and simplicity; what more could one ask from a piece of gubbins?

There was one small fault, however: the piece is only 6 years old, not 7.

Top notch bollox, this, though, and Merry Christmas!

Mr Jino,

Your story touched me in the heart. Not my heart, sorry! What I meant to say, was that your story touched me in the arse.

Oh, sir, come now! You know yourself how vulgar and double-entendrish your submission was, and, if the Swiss chap concerned had become aware of its existence, who knows how swiftly his legal team may have descended upon the Spoofoffice, waving their writs in Squire Lowton's fat mug?

Shame on you!

Also, it was a trifle long.

Say hello to your good wife for me, and give her a big kiss - from myself - remembering to use your tongue. Yum yum!

 
From General Discussion / Imagine My Chagrin
Posted 25 Feb 17 09:44
Message
Ah, but that's what you think!

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 25 Feb 17 09:42
Message
Ship had immense 'puncture'.

 
From General Discussion / 7 Years On
Posted 25 Feb 17 09:38
Message
I scrolled down to the bottom of the Writers Desk page, and saw a story in my 'Top Ten read' list, called Killer Whale Does What It's Supposed To Do - Kills Its Trainer.



I had forgotten this story, but, after reading it
again, I can tell you it's quite good.

All the best for Christmas and the New Year.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 23 Feb 17 02:17
Message
Establishment suddenly took a backseat. Life is shit. Hull means 'entertainment', not 'trawlers'.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 17 Feb 17 01:54
Message
Genius: exaggerated 'nous', indicating uncommon swottage.

 
From General Discussion / Apple's Tim Cook Says Fake News Destroys Minds
Posted 14 Feb 17 02:51
Message
Hello, Skoob! How's 2017 shaping up for you and the missus? I hope you are both finding it just as enjoyable as 2016 was. Manchester United not quite 'firing on all cylinders' yet, are they? Not against the Tigers anyway!

Oh well, can't stand here gabbing to you all day, can I? I've got things to be doing, you know.

Toodle pip for now, old friend. Give your wife a big kiss from me.

 
From General Discussion / Apple's Tim Cook Says Fake News Destroys Minds
Posted 13 Feb 17 03:19
Message

Quote: victor nicholas

Hmmm, no evidence of that here. Should we issue a formal response?


Yeah, you do it, Vic.


By the way, who's Tim Cook?

 
From General Discussion / Carrie Fisher
Posted 6 Feb 17 01:08
Message
I resent that, Sir!





Pistols at dawn?

 
From General Discussion / Big Watch = Little Dick
Posted 6 Feb 17 00:08
Message
Does it follow that men with small watches have big dicks, and that men with very small watches have very big dicks?

What about those watches on a chain?

And, what does it mean if a lady has a big watch? Is she tight as fuck?

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 28 Jan 17 22:10
Message
Awkwardness: worth knowing - when a real dunce neatly explains something scientific.

 
From General Discussion / Carrie Fisher
Posted 28 Jan 17 02:36
Message
Hey, JLF! Happy New Year to you and yours!

That's really nice of you to send that Trump Generator insult. I'll cherish it forever. Well, maybe not forever, but for the rest of today, at least.

Lovely man, you are!

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 26 Jan 17 17:19
Message
Yorkshire: Otley, Ripon, Knaresborough, Sheffield, Harrogate, Ilkley, Redcar - exotica!

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 26 Jan 17 17:13
Message
Literally, I truly enjoy regions a lot like Yorkshire.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 19 Jan 17 00:56
Message
Affirm factory farming is "really mental".

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 17 Jan 17 09:22
Message
Knowledge not often wanted, like enormous, dirty great encyclopedia.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 13 Jan 17 23:57
Message
Greenland: really expensive, exciting northern location, and nearby Denmark.

 
From News Discussion / Hull Set To Be Renamed 'Hell' As Part Of Tourism Drive
Posted 13 Jan 17 10:41
Message
You and me both.

 
From General Discussion / Acronyms
Posted 12 Jan 17 15:15
Message
Speech praised extremely economical central heating.

 
From News Discussion / Hull Set To Be Renamed 'Hell' As Part Of Tourism Drive
Posted 12 Jan 17 15:12
Message
I don't.

Even when I pop back to see me Mam, I don't go to the matches anymore. Me Mam's got a season pass, so has me sister, and they're always asking me to go, but I don't. See, it's like I associate my love of the club with a particular time in my life. Me Dad, the seats we had, the players of that time, the kits, the whole package, it's in a kind of 'time bubble' for me. The whole concept of football and of being a HCFC fan meant something else back then. There were players FROM HULL in the team; now, most of the side are either players who see us as a 'stop-gap' on their way to somewhere else, or foreign imports.

Money, and big financial backers who can't afford to lose their investments have changed things in a way I won't buy into. When I say I'm a City fan these days, I really mean "I used to be a staunch fan until the mid-80s, then I became just a fan".

It's still in me, somewhere, but more in the mind than anywhere else.

 
From News Discussion / Rioter selected for Team GB
Posted 12 Jan 17 03:45
Message
A blast from the past!


A charming little tale.

 
From News Discussion / Coronation Street Crisis
Posted 12 Jan 17 03:42
Message
Ah, yes, that's Britain as I remember it!

 
205 Pages - [1] 2 3 4 5 » »»
Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

Go to top

Who is online?

There are no registered users currently online.

Profile Featured Writer

Skews Me
Skews Me
Joined: 07 March 2007
Stories Written: 140
66 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more