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From General Discussion / Russian Roulette
Posted 30 Oct 11 21:16
The Germans have this thing called Dosenstechen.


I wouldn't recommend doing it with a penknife though. They're crazy idiots. And a bunch of pussies. But anyway, the upshot is, shake it up, pierce it near the bottom, shove it in yer gob, then pull the ringpull and drink up.

From General Discussion / Fascinating
Posted 27 Oct 11 07:33
Just read this, it's a fascinating tale.

The American POW who chose China

At the end of the Korean War, thousands of prisoners from both sides faced a choice - whether to return home or remain with their captors. David Hawkins was one of a handful of American GIs who chose to go to China.

From General Discussion / Blacklist Bill could affect The Spoof
Posted 26 Oct 11 12:58
Blacklist Bill? Isn't that a Beatles song?

From News Discussion / I'm not dead: Gaddafi
Posted 26 Oct 11 12:56

Half expect it will actually happen

From News Discussion / Has your pilot just died? There's an app for that
Posted 16 Oct 11 08:17

App World editor, Mac Buck

Love it.

From General Discussion / RIP Steve Jobs
Posted 6 Oct 11 08:41
Very sad news.

From General Discussion / Preston Bus Station "Most Treasured Location"
Posted 5 Oct 11 19:27
However, I do quite like Preston train station. It's a bit of a state, but the Victorian ironwork architecture is lovely.

And the girl at Caffè Ritazza is nice.

Oh wow, I love Wikipedia.

Just sayin'

From General Discussion / Preston Bus Station "Most Treasured Location"
Posted 5 Oct 11 19:26
No, I'm not making it up.

Preston bus station on UK monument 'at risk' list

Preston Bus Station has been listed as one of the world's "most treasured locations".

The "brutalist" style building, earmarked for demolition, is one of seven monuments being placed on an "at risk" list by the World Monuments Fund (WMF).

It actually looks okay in the photo on the article. If you get up close and personal you'll realise the truth.

According to Wikipedia "Some claim that it is the second largest bus station in Western Europe." (I love how no-one knows for sure.) And, apparently, "A survey conducted by the Lancashire Evening Post in May 2010 found that Preston Bus Station was Preston people's favourite building."

It's a handy car park, but it's a real pain in the arse to get in and out. And the bus station is horrendous.

Cold, dark and dank. Preston, England's newest city.

From News Discussion / Hairy Bikers subtitles hacked by a bingo website
Posted 5 Oct 11 11:21
Ah, quite brilliant. Many congratulations

From General Discussion / The last apology.....Ever
Posted 28 Sep 11 07:28
I feel very humbled by your kind words Arm, thank you. You're very welcome here.

From General Discussion / David Croft RIP
Posted 27 Sep 11 13:51
Just heard the very sad news that David Croft has passed away aged 89.

One of the most brilliant writers. A genius.

Thankfully his legacy will live on forever through his works.

From General Discussion / Who the hell does Mark think he is?
Posted 26 Sep 11 17:39

Quote: Lynton

Banning is also an easy way out for those who seek the gratification of instant retribution, being too lazy to find out what the real problem might have been.

Meh. You're right. I didn't think it through and reacted too strongly. My initial response was to reply to arm's PM reply, but then when I saw what had transpired on the forum, I felt he had pushed the limit.

But, I appreciate that my message obviously hit a raw nerve and I apologise for not reacting in a more forgiving way.

From General Discussion / Who the hell does Mark think he is?
Posted 26 Sep 11 17:33

Quote: Lynton

I find a distinct lack of tact and thoughtlessness in your note to Arm.

I thought my message was light-hearted enough that it would be difficult for it to be taken the wrong way.

I didn't intend it to be insensitive to discount dyslexia. I had considered that possibility and thought it was better to not make any reference to it.

Suggesting someone use a spell checker is only words of help and encouragement, especially, as in this case, the writer is struggling to produce items which are worthy of publication.

At least four other writers have condemned his work rather strongly in the approval centre, and I have been correcting them as best I could. After the sixth story, I felt it necessary to give arm a nudge towards spell-checkers.

I appreciate I could have approached this a little more softly, but from my perspective, it was a very friendly and helpful message. The reaction it provoked was totally out of line.

Why would I want to ban you Lynton? Your argument is perfectly reasonable. If you were to tell me to "Fuck off you arrogant cunt! who the fuck do you think you are?", I might react differently.

From General Discussion / Who the hell does Mark think he is?
Posted 26 Sep 11 07:15
Just so everyone's aware of what caused arm to get himself banned, I wrote him the following message because he was consistently misspelling words in his articles:

Hi arm,

Noticed you're having a hard time with spelling.

One recurring error is words with 'ie' or 'ei' in the middle, like 'their' and 'receive'.

A sure-fire rule to follow is I before E except after C. It's got lots of exceptions, but it should steer you right most of the time.

Contemporary web browsers usually have a built-in spell checking function, you can google it for your web browser.

Failing that, you might be better off writing your articles in a word-processing software package first, then copying it in to The Spoof. OpenOffice has a free word processor included.



Try to help a guy out and what thanks do you get, eh? You get called a cunt.

God bless him.

From Magazine Discussion / Local Man Finds God In Acton Supermarket
Posted 17 Sep 11 11:38
It's top of my pick of the pops

From News Discussion / Four Men Trapped in Mime
Posted 17 Sep 11 08:51
Same sentiment as my last post.

Stop it, or fuck off.

From News Discussion / The promise of 72 virgins less of an incentive for would-be suicide bombers than it was 10 years ago
Posted 17 Sep 11 08:50
Right you lot, put a fucking sock in it or piss off.

The Spoof's forums are not open to this sort of shenanigans, so fucking stop it.


From News Discussion / A Sushi Bar In Burnley? - You're Having A Laugh Mister Yakomoto!
Posted 16 Sep 11 10:18
Pure racial stereotyping genius, from all sides. Delicious.

From News Discussion / Plants keep dying? There's an app for that
Posted 16 Sep 11 10:15
I agree Duncan, 100%.

Nice to see you around the place again.

From General Discussion / Eeel Swims Up Man's Penis
Posted 16 Sep 11 10:14


From News Discussion / Wrinkly clothes? There's an app for that
Posted 13 Sep 11 07:58
Love this too

From News Discussion / Plants keep dying? There's an app for that
Posted 13 Sep 11 07:56
Love it

From General Discussion / The anniversary
Posted 11 Sep 11 08:00
For any spoofers out there who have been left with a hole in their lives for the past ten years, you're in my thoughts today.

Where there is love there is life - Gandhi

From News Discussion / Lollipop Man Wanted For Questioning
Posted 10 Sep 11 14:39
Yeah, I agree.

Nice to see Duncan back

From News Discussion / Glasgow man ate 10% of the world's "rare earths"
Posted 2 Sep 11 17:34
I love it! Pure genius.

56 Pages - «« « 5 6 [7] 8 9 » »»
Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.

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